7 Complications That You Might Encounter In Affairs When Both Parties Are Married
Updated March 16, 2020
Having an affair is something that can change your life in many ways. You know that cheating on your spouse is wrong, but you might feel as if you can't help yourself. If you're thinking of having an affair with someone, then you might want to take a few steps back to think first. This is going to negatively impact your life and it's also going to harm your spouse severely. If the person that you're thinking of having an affair with also happens to be married, then this could indeed be a very messy situation.
Take a look at the following seven complications that you might encounter in affairs when both parties are married. This will give you some information to consider and it could help you to make better choices for yourself. Even if you're unhappy in your marriage, it still might not be best to have an affair. You need to consider the complications that you could encounter when sleeping with another married person. Once you have all of the information, it'll be time for you to make an informed decision about what you want to do with your life.
- Double The Risk Of Being Caught
Having an affair with another married person is particularly risky. When you're having an affair with someone who is single, then at least they won't run the risk of being caught. When both of you are married, you're both going to be cheating and lying to your spouses. This increases the risk that someone is going to make a mistake and eventually, you might wind up getting caught. Even if you are very careful about covering your tracks, your lover might make a mistake and his or her spouse could discover the affair.
Once your lover has been figured out, the affair will likely come back on you as well. If your lover's spouse determines that it was you who he or she was seeing, then they might let your spouse know as well. This could all blow up in your face spectacularly if you aren't careful. It makes an affair even less practical than it was before and it might not be worth the risk if you really don't want to get a divorce.
- You'll Need To Find A Place To Make Love
Another problem that you might not have considered is that you both won't be able to use your own homes to meet up with each other. Granted, some people do sleep around in their marital beds while their spouses are away at work. This isn't a good idea since it increases the likelihood that you will be caught red-handed. Regardless, when you're sleeping with another married person, they are also not going to want to take you back to their house. This means that you likely won't have a convenient place where you can have sex with each other without the risk of getting caught.
Many affairs when both parties are married wind up taking place in hotel rooms. This can also present a problem because someone has to pay for the room. The vast majority of hotel rooms on the market will not allow you to pay in cash. Most will require a credit card or debit card to be used as payment and this will show up on your statement. It makes it even more likely that your spouse will notice that you have been spending money on strange things and this could alert them to the fact that you're having an affair.
- Potential STD Risk
There is also a greater potential STD risk when you're sleeping with someone who is still regularly sleeping with their spouse. This might not be a problem, but it could be and it's worth mentioning in this article. You have no way of knowing that your lover's spouse isn't also cheating on them. Someone could contract an STD in your sexual circle that you have going on. This STD could then spread to you and your spouse due to your careless actions.
If you were having an affair with someone who is single and isn't sleeping with anyone else, then at least you might feel more secure. There's always the potential of getting an STD when you start sleeping with someone new and unfamiliar, though. You can never really know if someone is being loyal to you or if they're just using your affair for some fun on the side, so to speak. Giving your spouse an STD would be a horrible way for them to find out that you're cheating. Even if you do have marriage issues, this is a terrible thing to do to someone that you love or loved in the past.
- Matching Up Your Schedules Won't Be Easy
It's also true that matching up your schedules won't be easy. If you are dating someone who is also a spouse, and potentially a parent, then they will not have a lot of free time. They need to be able to get away from their house without raising suspicion the same as you. It makes it impractical for you to see each other too often. Even if you're sleeping with someone from your place of employment, it isn't going to be easy to find time to actually be together when you're off the clock. You also shouldn't be risking your job to act on your sexual impulses while you're on the clock.
- Your Children Might Know Each Other
It's possible that your children could know each other if you live in the same town. Many affairs when both parties are married become even trickier when kids are involved. Your children might be friends, or they could be bitter enemies at school. This just makes things even more awkward if you do decide to get together after divorcing your current spouse. Integrating two families together when the kids are similar ages is not necessarily easy. The feelings of your children should be taken into consideration.
Also, you might not even have kids, but your lover could have several. If you aren't interested in being in a step-mom or step-dad situation down the line, then dating a married person might not be best. Many married individuals have kids and dating them winds up meaning that you're interviewing to become a part of the family. If you plan on being together for real, then this is a reality that you have to face. It's a potential complication that many people don't consider when they're just full of lust and looking to have some fun.
- Ruining Two Families Instead Of Just One
Having feelings for someone else while married isn't unusual, but having feelings for another married person can be even trickier than a typical affair. You won't just be ruining your own family if things go south, but you'll also be ruining the lives of the people from your lover's family. If you're married but in love with another man, then you might not be thinking straight at first. It's just good to take a step back to try to see the big picture. People's lives are involved in this scenario and your actions have the potential to seriously hurt others.
Being married but in love with someone else is tough. You might not be satisfied with your current marriage and maybe you even want out. If you want to move on, then doing things the right way would be better for your family. You might have a lover in mind, but he or she might need to handle their own affairs before being able to be with you. If you both really love each other, then wouldn't it be worth it to wait for when you can be together without it being wrong? Consider your options and know that your affair could decimate two separate families.
- Adultery Is Illegal In Some Places
Finally, you need to know that adultery is illegal in some places. There are still many states in America that list adultery as a crime. This means that you and your lover could potentially both be punished by the law for your actions. If you care about your lover, then it might not be a good idea to keep seeing them. You could wind up getting into serious trouble and it could put you in a bad spot if you ever do seek a divorce from your current spouse.
Being smart about things is going to be preferable. If your lover keeps pushing to see you even though you know this is wrong, then you might need to think about whether they really want what is best for you. If they aren't willing to divorce their spouse, then will you ever really be able to be together? What do married men want from affairs? Are they just seeking sex or is it a true love connection? If it's really love, then waiting until what you're doing isn't illegal is going to be the best path to take.
Try Online Couples Therapy To Save Your Marriage
If you feel like having an affair is a bad idea after reading about the potential complications, then you might want to consider attempting to save your marriage. Your marriage might have significant problems that need to be worked on, but it is possible to fix things by signing up for online couples' therapy. This is a convenient way to get help when your marriage is on the rocks. A licensed counselor will be able to work with you at your convenience. Signing up today won't take much time and you can start going through couples counseling sessions right away.