Husband And Wife Quotes That Show What Marriage Is Really Like
Updated March 16, 2020
Reviewer Amy Brown
There is a lot of false ideas floating around society about marriage. Fairytales create this image of what we think our relationships are going to look like. But all too often, marriage doesn't look like the happy couple riding off into the sunset. If you want a real look at what marriage looks like, these husband and wife quotes can help.
Marriage isn't about falling in love once
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
- Mignon McLoughlin
This is where a lot of couples get it wrong. They think that when those initial feelings of love have worn off that their marriage must be over. They assume that they made a mistake and married the wrong person.
Or, couples allow themselves to get too close with someone else. They put their focus on the wrong person and eventually find that they have fallen in love with someone else.
It's true that sometimes you won't feel those warm fuzzy feelings of love for your spouse. There are some days when you'll feel like you're just going through the motions. That's why you have to work to fall in love with your spouse again and again. You need to put the same effort into it that you did when you were first dating.
Marriage is also about friendship
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Romance is fun and exciting, but it's not the only thing that long-term happy marriages are made of. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be romantic throughout your marriage, but it does mean that romance alone is not enough to carry you through your married life.
What will help carry you through is becoming best friends with your spouse. Look for hobbies that you enjoy together. Listen to their stories. Spend time together. Laugh together. Be silly together. And, be there for your partner when they need encouragement and support.
None of those things are about romance, but they are full of love and will help you build a happy marriage.
Your partner knows the real you
"To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow-this is a human offering that can border on miraculous."
- Elizabeth Gilbert
You can only put on a front for so long. When you're dating, or when you want to date someone, you can act any way that you think the other person wants you to act. But, when you marry someone and are spending your life with them, they are going to see how you really are.
That means they are going to see not only the good things about you but all the bad things as well. They will see that you are impatient when driving, aren't much of a housekeeper and can get fired up easily about little things. But there's something freeing about being able to be yourself and know that you are loved just the same. Your spouse accepts you for who you are-the good, bad, and the ugly. This is what a healthy marriage looks like.
You allow your spouse to be who they are
"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences." - Dave Meur
There are plenty of couples that get married thinking they are going to be able to change each other. But over time, you learn that you can't change the other person. Not only are you unable to, but you don't want to because you learn how to appreciate the differences in who you are.
This doesn't always happen quickly and it's not always easy. But if you commit to and work on your marriage long enough, you'll reach the place of truly enjoying the things that set your spouse apart.
Love is a choice
"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry." - Tom Mullen
There are going to be plenty of days when you don't just feel love for your spouse. That's OK. As much as you want to hold onto those exciting feelings of new love, that's not the way love works. Some days you aren't going to feel it as much.
But if you are willing to stick with your marriage and continue working on it, you will learn how to choose to love your spouse every single day. This is when the real magic of a marriage happens. This is when your relationship will be able to reach an even deeper level.
It shows you what the other is really like
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell
While this is a funny quote from Will Ferrell it holds a lot of truth. When you marry someone, you are getting the bad along with the good. It's helpful if you know exactly who they are, including their weaknesses, before you marry them.
The more you know about the person before getting married, the stronger you can build your relationship from the start. In fact, an article shared that couples who knew each other really well when getting married were able to reduce their chance of getting divorced by as much as 50%.
You need to get good at forgiving
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."
- Robert Quillen
No one gets excited at the idea of marrying someone that will upset them from time to time, but that's life. There are no perfect people in the world, which means there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Unfortunately, there are going to be times in your marriage when your spouse does something that hurts or upsets you. And, there are going to be times when you do the same to them.
This is where forgiveness comes into play. Keeping track of who has done more wrong will only cause damage to your marriage. Giving your partner the silent treatment or holding onto anger will only cause you to become bitter and resentful. Forgiveness is important.
One word of caution here is that this section is not talking about abusive relationships. If your partner is abusive, you need to seek help for yourself. After that, you can work towards forgiving for your own benefit, but it doesn't mean that you need to reconcile the relationship.
There are going to be challenges
"More marriages might survive if the partners realize that sometimes, the better comes after the worse." - Doug Larson
Relationships will face challenges. There are going to be times in your marriage when you realize that you are going through the "for worse" times that were talked about in your marriage vows. This is a time when some couples decide to split. The marriage ended up harder than they expected, and they decide that they don't want to put the work into it.
But this is a mistake because as couples work through the difficult times in a marriage, their relationship continues to grow and develop. As marriage goes on throughout the years the couple learns how to overcome obstacles, discover more about each other, and settle into a new and deeper level of love. This is when those "better" times come along. If you're too quick to quit on your marriage when things get hard, you'll never reach this next phase.
The grass isn't greener
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." -Frederick Keonig
Once you've been in your relationship for a while and the newness has worn off it's easy to start thinking that other relationships look better than yours. You may start to grow frustrated with your partner for multiple reasons or think that life would be better with someone else.
However, it's important to remember that when other relationships look better than yours it's often because they are putting more work into the relationship than you are into your own. When you take time to appreciate the spouse that you have and invest in bettering your marriage, it can make all the difference.
Marriage counseling can help if you're struggling
If you are looking for husband and wife quotes or marriage tips because you're struggling in your relationship, it's easy to reach a place of feeling like there's just no hope. But marriage is meant to be enjoyable. If you're in a place where you aren't enjoying your marriage, a licensed therapist can help you improve it.
Regain has online therapists that help make it convenient and more affordable for turning your marriage around.
"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." - I Corinthians 13:7
With the right help and some work, your relationship can develop this level of love.