Free Marriage Counseling: You Get What You Pay For
Updated July 12, 2019
Is there free marriage counseling? The answer is yes, but you get what you pay for, which means. There's marriage counseling that couples can get from a variety of sources. For low-income families, you can sometimes find non-profit organizations or agencies that offer marriage counseling. Sometimes, the state will provide it if, for example, there's a couple that has children and the kids would benefit from their parents receiving couples counseling. There are also local religious organizations in many areas. Churches can provide counseling. Marriage in the modern age is different for many reasons, partially because we used to rely on the sole wisdom of those older than us for help.
Therapy wasn't so pervasive. The truth is that churches want to help people stay married; they're dedicated to upholding marriage because it's a part of the religious upbringing. Many churches are against divorce, and that's why they offer free marriage counseling, but it's often impacted by religion, so it's not taking into account the couples wants and needs. It can create a bias, and in some cases, the church or a religious organization, but you need to take into account your individual needs as a couple. There's online counseling as well, and while it differs from free therapy, it's highly affordable. Let's talk about what that is.
What is online therapy?
Online therapy is a place where you and your partner can talk about your relationship and improve your marriage. It's essential that you both get a chance to speak your truth, and online therapy gives busy couples or those in rural areas a place to do it. You want to have a platform where you can talk about and troubleshoot different issues that you face in your marriage. The benefit of paying for online counseling is that your counselor isn't influenced; they're an impartial party. The therapist leads the conversation, and you and your partner can rely on them to mediate the conflict. For example, if one person in the relationship is argumentative or hostile, the marriage counselor can ask that individual to explain their feelings. Their partner doesn't have to be the brunt of their hostility. And if the conflict gets out of hand, then the therapist can calm everyone down.
A different point of view
It's difficult to see things outside of your perspective. When you're in a marriage, you have your point of view, and your partner has theirs. It's advantageous to see a marriage counselor so that you can have a third point of view that is outside of the relationship looking in. You marriage counselor can help you and your partner grow closer together rather than becoming distant. Sometimes people are wrapped up in their feelings and opinions, and it's hard to see outside of your point of view. But when you have a therapist who is dedicated to seeing both sides of a situation, you have the benefit of an impartial caring party.
Paying for counseling matters because your therapist is invested
You're paying for counseling from a marriage counselor online, and they care about your relationship with your partner. You're paying for a service, and they want to do a good job. They're passionate about their profession, which you can find through a non-profit organization for sure, and there are religious organizations that care about the couples that they see, but having an unbiased, impartial counselor is essential. When you sign up for online counseling, you'll have a counselor without any outside motives that genuinely cares about their clients. It's reliable and available anywhere with an internet connection. You can use a computer, tablet, or even your phone.
The five magic hours
It doesn't take a lot of time to show someone you love that you care about them. It's not about the quantity of time; it's the quality. One of the things that your marriage counselor will talk to you and your partner about is spending more time together. It's not as complicated as you might believe. We all lead busy lives, and it's important to honor the commitments we have. It's also crucial for the health of our relationships that we find five quality hours together. According to Dr. John Gottman, who created The Gottman Method, these are called The magic hours.
Connect before you part for the day
Before you take off at the start of the day, it's essential to take a moment to connect with your partner. Talk to them about what you're doing for that day, and ask them what they have planned. These conversations can be brief. For example, if you talk for five minutes a day, during the work week, that's a total of 25 minutes for the entire week.
Reconnect when you see each other at the end of the day
Reconnect when you see each other again at the end of the day. When you reunite, talk to each other for a minimum of 20 minutes. These conversations can be about what you did with your days. If you've had a rough day, share that with your partner. They can support you. If they've had a great day, maybe they want to share that with you. You can talk over dinner or when you're relaxing in bed together. If you speak for 20 minutes a day, it can make a huge difference in your ability to bond with your partner.
Everyone wants to be appreciated for who they are and the things they do. Whether you make your partner delicious food or you're always there to listen to their problems, these are things that deserve recognition. It's crucial to appreciate your partner. They want to hear words of affirmation. There are ways each day to show your significant other that you care. And don't use generic words, but be specific. For example, don't tell her that she is beautiful. It's essential to explain to her the little things that you like about her. You can compliment her eyes, or tell her you love her smile. Spend five minutes telling your partner that you appreciate them, and it will make a world of difference in your relationship.
Don't count on your partner to initiate romantic or intimate time together. You can start affection between the two of you. Remember when you first got together, it was exciting and new. There are ways to bring that spark back. Kiss your partner with passion. Show them that you find them desirable. Spend time cuddling with them at night or even in the middle of the day. Touch each other, and appreciate that physical affection. When you hold hands outside, it brings you closer together than before. The more you touch your partner, the healthier the relationship will be.
It's crucial to establish a night that you go out with your partner regularly. That night is your date night. Once you figure out a good night to go out to dinner or see a movie, stick to it. Get a babysitter if you need to or if it's just you two, make sure that you stick to your commitment to each other. Don't cancel date night to work if possible. Your dates don't need to be extravagant. They can be you and your partner walking in the park together. Your date doesn't need to cost money. You can do things for free that are romantic. On your date, you can talk about how your week is going. Don't talk about problems on your date night. Keep it light and be romantic on that night. Date night is a time to bond with your significant other.
Online marriage counseling vs. in-person marriage counseling
Online marriage counseling is great for couples that are on the go and have trouble finding the time to go to counseling in person. One of the most significant benefits of online counseling is that it's flexible. The marriage counselors that you'll find are trained and licensed. They're able to provide quality care and insight into your relationship, and they've been working with couples for years. Talking to a counselor online with your partner can make a huge difference in your relationship. You're committing to working on your marriage.
Don't wait to get help
If you realize that your marriage isn't working, it's essential to take steps to fix the problems. That means seeking counseling for you and your significant other. You deserve to have a happy, healthy connection with your partner. If your relationship is suffering, you can get help through online marriage counseling. It could be the difference between saving your relationship or heading to splitsville. So don't be afraid to work with your partner and get what you need through online marriage counseling. If you're having trouble resolving the issues with your partner, online marriage counseling is an excellent place to talk about these problems. Check out the network of counselors here at Regain, and find a therapist who works for you and your partner. In online marriage counseling, you have an impartial mental health professional who can guide you through the process of communicating better with your partner and achieving happiness in your marriage.