Understanding Types Of Love And How To Love Your Partner

While romantic love may be the most frequently depicted form of love in the media, there are, in reality, upwards of seven different types of love and ways to categorize this emotion. Understanding these different forms of love can help you recognize any potential deficits in the way you approach love so that you can rectify them.

These seven types of love were originally named by the ancient Greeks, so we will be naming each type of love after its description in English.

Understanding types of love

Self-love-philautia

If you don't love yourself and have self-esteem, self-confidence, and belief in yourself, then it can affect the wellbeing of your other loving relationships. In fact, studies demonstrate that there is a close connection between your mental health and the quality of your romantic relationships. 

Self-love can involve having a healthy sense of your importance, capabilities, status, and more. It can mean that you believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish things but don't think of yourself as being above anyone else or better than anyone.

Practical love-pragma

This form of love may develop or occurs because it is comfortable. You may feel a Pragma form of love for someone who you've been around a lot and who shares the same goals as you, has similar or preferential qualities, or who is very compatible with you.

This is a kind of love that may frequently exist in arranged marriages, in which the couples may come to care for one another but not necessarily fall into what we would consider a passionate kind of love.

This kind of love can help couples to make it through difficult times. Perhaps you’ve heard couples say that they 'just don't love each other anymore.' In reality, many of these couples might not have anything in common with each other anymore because they haven’t been nurturing their ‘pragma’ love.

Uncommitted love-ludus

With this type of love, you might be engaging in a little more fun. It can be about just getting out there and enjoying yourself with a partner rather than looking for anything too serious. You might flirt, seduce, or do anything else in a non-committal way. You might be looking to spend a little while with someone, which could be a one-night stand, or it could be a short-term relationship that you don't expect to last. Ludus can turn into more, but it doesn't always. 

Universal love-agape

The love you have for the world around you, your belief in God, or just all the people who exist (even the ones you don't know) is considered universal love. It's not necessarily the same personal love you might feel for your friends and family. Instead, it's an altruistic type of love that can lead you to do things for other people for no reason other than to help those people. It can be about doing something nice and just enjoying what you can do for others.

Familial love-storge

The love that you feel for your family can be an important part of your overall psyche as well. It can be a kind of love based only on being familiar with the person or being dependent on them. Storge, by definition, has absolutely nothing to do with the traits the object of your affection has (good or bad), their overall personality, or anything else about them. You feel the way that you feel because they are there. We might feel it by instinct without ever having to force it or seek it out.

However, you may want to make sure that you don't allow your relationship to get to the point where this is the only kind of love you are receiving.

Friendly love-philia

This phrase is how Philadelphia got its name: “The City of Brotherly Love.”

Philia represents a level of companionship and trust with this person. It's a sign of goodwill and a sign that you care for this person greatly. Not just any friend will be the recipient of this kind of love, but friends you are close to and with whom you share common ground with you in many ways. Phiia can also be an important aspect of long-term romantic relationships.

Many people might not realize how important this kind of love is in a marriage or long-term relationship. However, when you see couples who have been together for years and are still very close, this is one of the areas they are likely strong in. Couples who enjoy doing hobbies and activities together, laughing together, and being friends, as well as lovers, are likely setting themselves up for the long haul.

Passionate love-eros

Though we generally think of passion as sexual, this kind of love is not solely about sex. It's about feeling a strong kind of love toward another person with a sexual component, but that's not all there is to it. This kind of love can be blind, it can be overwhelming, and it can be without judgment. Someone who experiences passionate love may be entirely uncaring about their partner's faults, but it can also be a very important kind of love for your life. 

If you aren't careful and follow this kind of love, it can get you into relationships that you might not want to be in. Passionate love can be important for the success of long-term relationships; however, a relationship shouldn’t be based on passion alone.

Strong relationships need a mix

Relationships that can stand the test of time can do it typically because they mix different kinds of love. Happy couples don't have relationships that are just built on passion or practicality or friendship. Instead, couples who are happy together can tap into multiple different kinds of love to stay together. There are some times when one form of love may be a little stronger than the others.

Learn to love your partner better in online therapy

One way that you can find the mental health help that you're looking for could be with Regain. This online service can allow you to connect with a professional from anywhere with an internet connection. You log on and set up your account, and you can choose the professional you want to talk with, finding someone you'll be most comfortable with no matter where they may be located.

Online therapy has that perk of convenience and accessibility, even if you have a physical limitation or live in a rural, remote area. Another added benefit of online therapy is its affordability. And if you worry about the effectiveness of online therapy, rest assured that studies show that online therapy is just effective and sometimes even more effective than in-person therapy when it comes to treating a wide array of mental health concerns. 

Takeaway

If you have difficulties experiencing love with any partner, whether sexual or otherwise, seek a mental health professional's help. They can help you work through anything that you might be experiencing, from difficulty with a mental disorder (such as anxiety or depression) or anything that you might be wondering about. Learning what love is, how to show it, and how to accept it can be an important part of your life, and it's something that you should seek help with if you find yourself worried about the role of love in your life.

If you find yourself in a struggling relationship, it doesn't mean that it's time to call it quits. No relationship is perfect, and to stand the test of time, learn how to move and grow through the different stages of love.