How To Love Somebody In A Healthy Way

By Dylan Buckley|Updated June 23, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Karen Devlin, LPC

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Love is a wonderful thing, whether it's love between you and your family, you and your friends, or you and a romantic partner. However, love can have a less than the beautiful side as well, and not all the ways that we express our love to others or the way that we receive love from others are necessarily healthy. When love becomes unhealthy, it can turn into something dangerous that can pose a huge risk to our overall mental health and our way of life. That's why it's important to find out how to love somebody healthily and how to make sure that you aren't allowing unhealthy love practices within your household. You want to be able to have relationships of all types that are healthy and happy for both of you, and that will often require you to do a little research to see if you can identify any unhealthy love practices that may be going on in your relationship and how you can set yourself up for healthy love successfully. If this is you, take a look at the guide below to learn more about healthy love practices that you can implement into your relationship.

How To Love Somebody

Loving another person may be natural for some but may be difficult for others. Here are some tips that will allow you to love your partner better the right way.

Be Supportive of Your Partner

The first thing that you need to cultivate a great relationship with your partner is to support them. You need to understand that the person you love is an individual with their hopes, dreams, and plans. When someone is in a relationship where their partner is constantly disregarding or belittling their dreams, it will certainly appear as though you do not love them enough to allow them to try to achieve their dreams and goals. Being someone who loves them means that you need to help them carry out those things and support their efforts. Encourage them even when they don't feel like they're capable of doing something themselves. When your partner is working their way through school and feels like they're failing, it's time for you to help push them and encourage them. The same is true with a job or with anything in their lives. Support them and be there to help.

Respect Personal Space

Having a healthy relationship means that you and your partner need to have your personality. It means that you need to understand that sometimes they may need to be alone or spend time with friends without you there. Hovering over your partner all the time, refusing to let them go anywhere alone, or otherwise trying to manage their time is not a healthy aspect of any relationship and can cause friction and cause the end of the relationship over time. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is too clingy and unable to lead their own lives. A relationship doesn't mean that you need to be together all the time. Just as you have your identity as a couple, you have your identity on your own, and that is just as important.

Trust, Trust, Trust!

An extremely important part of relationships can trust one another. That means not needing to be with your partner all the time or not needing to check their phone or their emails or know every single detail about their life. If that's the case, it means that you don't trust them, and if there's no trust, it's hard to make a relationship work. Also, a lack of trust when someone has not yet violated that trust could indicate that you are carrying past trauma or insecurities into your current relationship, which needs to be taken care of as soon as possible to prevent any further damage from taking place. If they have violated your trust, you must be able to work through it with your partner to move on. Whether they've actually done something that violated your trust or you have difficulty trusting anyone, it's going to cause tension and trouble in your relationship.

Treat Your Partner As Your Equal

Do you treat your partner like they are your equal? Whether they make as much money as you, have as good of a job as you, or anything else, they are your equal. They should always be treated with respect, and their opinion on something should matter just as much as yours. If you don't feel that you can treat them as equal and show them that level of respect, this is not the right partnership for you, or you may need to seek professional help to understand better why this is important for both of you. Regardless of what factors may lead you to believe otherwise, your partner is on this journey beside you, not above or below.

Be Honest With Your Partner

Being honest with your partner is a crucial aspect of a relationship. You need to talk with them about the things that are happening in your life, but honesty is about much more than that. It's also about telling them where you were last night or what you think about the activities you both engage in. Being honest helps you both to feel more connected, and it helps you to improve your relationship over time as well. If you have problems being honest, it means that you are either trying to hide things that you are currently doing that could damage the relationship, or you are hiding things that have happened in the past that either tie into the relationship now or are simply things that you don't want to talk about. If it is the former or something from the past related to the relationship, it is better to open up and be honest with your partner. If there are things you struggle to talk about, you may want to consider counseling as a way to process those things and learn to be more vulnerable with your partner.

Communication Properly and Effectively

Talk with your partner frequently. Whether it's about the things you did today or those stories from your childhood, or anything at all, talking to your partner is an important step in building your relationship and continuing to make it stronger. If you don't feel like talking to your partner about things that happen in your life is important, then it's a sign that maybe you aren't as close as you want to be. This is a person that you are potentially going to spend the rest of your life with (that's the hope anyway), so you want to make sure you are excited to talk to them about things.

Also, it is important to make sure that you have effective communication. When a fight comes along, how do you two handle it? Do you shout at each other and end the fight by storming off, or do you two finish the fight by resolving the issue and coming up with a plan to ensure that the issue never comes up again? If you are unable to resolve issues, it can become hard to prove your love to someone. It is important to make sure that you learn effective communication before any major issues arising so that you and your partner are prepared for any argument that comes up.

Make Sure to Have Fun and Focus on the Positives

With all this talk about honesty and trust, and communication, it's also important that you and your partner are having fun. Your definition of fun will be different from that of other people, but it's something that matters to you, so make sure you're getting out there with your partner and enjoying yourself. Go to the movies, the park, the museum, or anywhere that the two of you enjoy, and don't worry about what other people think. If your best friend says that going to the museum isn't a fun date, but you and your partner enjoy it, then that's what matters.

You can make sure that fun and affection are allowed to grow and prosper throughout your relationship by making sure to schedule regular date nights that you and your partner constantly make sure to honor. Additionally, you can come up with a list of things that you have always wanted to do and then slowly work on that list as you go out and do things together. If you put your heart and soul into it, it isn't hard to keep the fun and love going.

Fight Fair

While it may seem strange to talk about fighting when we're talking about healthy love, it's a natural part of the relationship. You and your partner will not agree on everything, and two people who are together for the majority of their days are guaranteed to find something to fight about. There will be times when you don't want to do the same things or don't have the same opinion, and sometimes those disagreements will turn into an argument. The important thing is to keep your focus on what the argument is actually about and not draw in other issues that may have come up at a different time. If you're arguing about where to go for dinner, this is not the time to bring up how your partner never empties the dishwasher, for example.

Discover More Ways to Love Someone In A Healthy Way

If you and your partner seem to be having trouble creating a healthy relationship or knowing what it means, talking to a professional is a great step. You can reach out to the professionals at ReGain to find out more about what you could be doing and even start your sessions toward improving your relationship. You'll be able to connect completely online without having to worry about visiting a psychiatrist's office in the first place, which makes it a whole lot more convenient and comfortable for you. Learn more about what healthy love entails and what it will take to keep that healthy love going by connecting with your personal relationship counselor!

“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

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