What Is The Biggest Turn On For Girls In A Relationship?

Updated April 2, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

If you’re dating a remarkable woman you care for, you likely want to do all you can to please her so that you can be happy together — even (or especially) in the realm of romantic and sexual attraction. Every woman is different, as is every relationship. What is sexy to one woman may not be to another. However, there are still some general rules of thumb for attracting and pleasing a female partner. Here are some of the sexiest things you can do in a relationship with a woman to turn her on and make her feel special:

Girls can be turned on by different things in a relationship

Give her physical compliments

It’s a classic move when flirting or courting for a reason– physical compliments will always be a turn-on, at least when used appropriately. Small compliments can act as affirmations that will boost her self-confidence. Be honest and thoughtful about what is so beautiful or appealing about her, specifically to you. Don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel,  but at the same time, be careful not to overdo it, as too many compliments at once can appear disingenuous.

Give her non-physical compliments

Non-physical compliments can be not only thoughtful but sexy, too. Sure, your girlfriend or wife probably loves hearing how beautiful you think she is, but it’s just as lovely to tell her that she is valued for other things.

Tell her you’re proud of how hard she works at her job, on a personal project, or even just around the house. Let her know how smart or brave she is for handling specific situations in her life. Feel free to comment on her courteous or generous behavior, compassion, or good attitude.

Even compliments about the more minor things about her can be a wonderful gift. If you notice that she has endearing quirks in her behavior or attitude, it can boost her confidence to know that you treasure those things about her.

Touch her affectionately

As long as she consents, it’s done at the right moment, and she’s comfortable with how you initiate affectionate touching, it’ll turn her on. For example, playing with her hair while cuddling on the sofa or giving her a lingering kiss in the morning shows that you care. Taking the time to hug her deeply when she has had a rough day lets her know you’re there for her. There are other little ways that you can use touch to flirt when you want to show how much you desire her. Everything from placing your hand on her leg to pulling her toward you on the couch could be seen as a romantic gesture.

Pay attention

You have probably heard jokes about how spouses ignore their wives and are only interested in one thing. This isn’t always true, and there are attentive partners out there who are invested in what their wives or girlfriends are saying. If your girlfriend tells you about her day and you pay attention to the details, there is a good chance it will be a turn-on for her. If you want your relationship to flourish and your connection to grow stronger, you should try your best to remain a good listener. Listening attentively and taking an interest in your girlfriend’s life shows that you value her as a person and that you want to be there for her. 

Keep a good sense of humor

Sometimes the way to a woman’s heart is to make her laugh. Being around someone who keeps things happy and jovial is very appealing. If you can make your girl laugh even when she has had a tough day, that can be a big turn-on and make her love you even more.

Whisper sweet nothings

The term “whispering sweet nothings” is associated with romance for a reason. Many women are turned on when their boyfriends or husbands whisper into their ears. You could compliment her in this fashion and make her day. You could also take things in a more risqué direction by telling her how much you’re looking forward to your intimate moments together later in the evening. 

Give sensual (or thoughtful) massages

Affectionate touching can be a big turn-on in a relationship. Many women enjoy a nice sensual massage. This could be a form of foreplay leading to a steamy sexual encounter. 

A massage doesn’t necessarily have to be a sexual thing, however. When you see that she has just come in after a long day of working or being on her feet, do you often offer her a massage to help her unwind? If you do, then this is likely a significant turn-on for her. Some might need a back rub to alleviate stress, while others might want you to focus on helping them with foot pain. A non-sexual massage can be very thoughtful, and your girlfriend might appreciate the gesture after a long day. 

Be confident

You have likely heard that confidence can be a significant turn-on. While it’s often true, this doesn’t mean you can’t attract a woman if you are nervous or somewhat shy- but confidence can be very sexy. Just remember that confidence and cockiness are different things. Someone who comes across as arrogant might elicit a different response. Some girls are attracted to a haughty attitude, but that won’t ring true for every woman. Calm confidence when it is warranted is a very good thing. The ability to stay calm under pressure also shows that you can be reliable when situations get tough. 

Have patience

Patience can be a turn-on for women as well. Many people struggle with patience-related issues, and it can be problematic. If you’re more patient than usual, you might find it a big turn-on for your girl. For example, it’s often a big plus if you can relax and wait for your girlfriend to get ready without pressuring her. It can also be a turn-on if you don’t try to push her into things too fast, such as being willing to wait to have sex if she isn’t ready yet. 

Girls can be turned on by different things in a relationship

Look smart

Physical appearance can be a big turn-on for a girl in a relationship. Your girlfriend might find it appealing when you dress up for a big occasion. She may notice if you have put more effort into your appearance than usual. Your toned muscles might turn your girlfriend on, or she might be taken by your gentle eyes. Whatever the case, not only will she like it, but the ego boost will also feel good to you. 

Online therapy for building dating confidence

If you’re worried that your girlfriend isn’t as attracted to you as she could be, or you feel that you have issues hindering your ability to have a deep connection, communication between you is vital. But it isn’t always so simple, and many couples find it challenging to talk about topics like these openly and productively. 

In those cases, speaking to a relationship counselor can be highly beneficial. Despite its usefulness, couples don’t always take advantage of the benefits of relationship therapy. The reasons for this are many but often center around issues of convenience and practicality. For example, many find coordinating appointments during the busy work week difficult. Some people don’t feel comfortable speaking to a therapist in a conventional setting about sensitive topics like sex and intimacy. Other couples don’t have a counselor in their area. 

But online couples counseling through platforms like Regain alleviate a lot of these barriers to treatment. Online therapy allows couples to talk to a professional from the safety of home at a convenient time. Virtual therapy is often more affordable than traditional therapy without insurance, and research indicates it’s as effective. 

For example, a 2021 study measuring the outcome of internet-based couples therapy found that most participants “showed positive changes in terms of relationship satisfaction and decreases in symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress- the results suggest that videoconferencing is equally as effective as face-to-face therapy.”

If you’re ready to get started on the path to a happier, healthier relationship, you can connect with an experienced, licensed Regain therapist via phone, video chat, text, and online messaging. 

Keep reading for counselor reviews from clients who’ve received help through Regain.

Counselor reviews

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

For Additional Help & Support With Your ConcernsThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.