What Is The Biggest Turn On For Girls In A Relationship?

Updated August 03, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Dutil

If you’re dating a beautiful and confident woman, then you probably want to be able to do all that you can to please her. You likely know how important it is to develop your bond over time, and you want to satisfy your partner so that you can be happy together — even, or especially, in the realm of romantic and sexual attraction.

Attraction can be mystifying. We’re sent mixed messages from the world around us through marketing, TV, and movies about what’s sexy or appealing, and sometimes these standards don’t even really correlate to what’s typical or expected in real life. It’s no wonder that so many men wonder what exactly it is that turns a girl on in a relationship!

The truth, however, is that there isn’t just one specific thing that is the ultimate be-all-end-all turn on for girls in a relationship — lots of different things can pique her interest, appeal to her, or turn her on. Every woman is different and every relationship is different, and lots of different things can be sexy. However, there are still some general rules of thumb for attracting and pleasing a female partner.

Want to reveal their biggest turn ons? Here are some of the sexiest things you can do in a relationship with a woman:

Give Her Physical Compliments

Turn Ons For Girls May Be Different Than You Think
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It’s a classic move when flirting or courting for a reason– physical compliments are always going to be a turn on, at least when used appropriately. You should let your girlfriend or wife know that you think she is beautiful or gorgeous. People need to be able to feel loved and appreciated in a relationship. These little compliments can act as affirmations that will boost a person’s self-confidence. Don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel, and you will certainly turn her on in the process. Even letting her know how great her hair style looks on her can be a good way to make her feel confident about herself.

At the same time, be careful not to overdo it, as too many compliments at once can come off as being disingenuous. Be honest and thoughtful about what in particular is so beautiful or appealing about her.

Give Her Non-Physical Compliments

Non-physical compliments can be not only thoughtful, but sexy, too. Sure, your girlfriend or wife loves hearing how beautiful you think she is, but it’s just as great for her to hear that she is valued for other things as well.

Tell her you’re proud of how hard she is working at a new job, on a personal project, or even just around the house. Let her know how smart she is or how brave she is for dealing with certain situations in her life. Feel free to comment on her courteous or generous behavior, her compassion, or her good attitude.

Even compliments about the smaller things about her can be a wonderful gift. If you happen to notice that she has little, cute quirks in her behavior or attitude, it can boost her confidence to know that you treasure those things about her.

Touch Her Affectionately

Affectionate touching is something that can turn just about anyone on. This is a turn on that is going to come as no surprise to anyone. When you’re cuddling with your girlfriend, and you start playing with her hair, it’s normal for her to get a little bit hot and bothered. It’s also expected for her to respond to your touch positively when you have a good relationship.

Knowing this, you should know the impact that your physical signs of affection can have. A little kiss in the morning shows that you care. Taking the time to hug her deeply when she has had a rough day lets her know that you’re there for her. There are other little ways that you can use touch to flirt when you want to show how much you desire her. Everything from placing your hand on her leg to pulling her toward you on the couch could be seen as a romantic gesture. As long as your girlfriend consents and is comfortable with the ways that you initiate affectionate touching, it’s going to be something that turns her on when done at the right moments.

Pay Attention

You have probably heard jokes about how men don’t pay attention to their wives and that they are only interested in one thing. Frankly, this isn’t always true, and there are attentive men out there who are invested in what their girls are saying. If your girlfriend tells you about her day and you pay attention to the details, then there is a good chance that it will be a turn on for her. Not every turn on is going to be ordinarily romantic or sexual. Sometimes it just about appreciates a certain quality that a person possesses.

In this case, being a good listener and taking an interest in your girlfriend’s life is valuable. It shows that you value her as a person and that you want to be there for her. If you want your relationship to flourish and your connection to grow stronger, then you should try your best to remain a good listener. She will appreciate your support, and she will also be there for you in return.

Have a Good Sense of Humor

Many women love dating men who have a good sense of humor. Sometimes the way to a woman’s heart is to get her to laugh. Being around someone who keeps things happy and jovial is very appealing. If you can make your girl laugh even when she has had a tough day, then she probably really appreciates that. Your sense of humor can be a big turn on, and it can make her love you even more.

Whisper Sweet Nothings

The term “whispering sweet nothings” is associated with romance for a reason. Many women get turned on by their boyfriends or husbands whispering into their ears. You could give her a simple compliment in this fashion, and it might make her day. You could also take things in a more risqué direction by telling her how much you’re looking forward to your intimate moments together later in the evening. Either way, this is something that has turned people on for many years.

Give Sensual (or Thoughtful) Massages

You know that affectionate touching can be a big turn on for a girl in a relationship, but you should also know that massages could be a next-level turn on. This can go one of two ways as well. A woman can enjoy getting a nice sensual massage from her lover. This could be a form of foreplay that will lead to a steamy sexual encounter. A massage doesn’t necessarily have to be a sexual thing, though.

A non-sexual massage can be very thoughtful, and your girlfriend might appreciate the gesture after a long day. When you see that your girl has just come in after a long day of working or being on her feet, do you often offer her a massage to help her unwind? If you do, then this is likely a huge turn on for her, and it’s something that she appreciates. Some girls might need a back rub to alleviate stress while others might want you to focus on helping them with foot pain. This can be a sweet way to show that you care about your girlfriend and it might be nice for her to know that it isn’t always sexually motivated, even though it might sometimes lead to intimate moments.

Have Gentlemanly Behavior

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Chivalry isn’t dead, despite what many people might say. Women can still be turned on by a man exhibiting gentlemanly behavior as well. Being considerate of your girlfriend is going to help her to have a better opinion of you. If she can tell that it comes from a genuine place, then that is going to be even better. Simple things such as holding the door for her or pulling out her chair so that she can sit are small little romantic gestures. Being a gentleman should also extend to the way that you treat her and how you respect her as a person.

Be Confident

You have likely heard that confidence is something that can be a huge turn on. Women who see a confident man doing his thing are going to be more likely to be attracted to that man. This doesn’t mean that you can’t attract a woman if you are a nervous or somewhat shy individual, but confidence can be very sexy. If you are a person who exhibits confidence in certain areas of life, then this could be a quality that is attracting your current girlfriend or other women toward you. Just remember that confidence and cockiness are not the same things.

Someone who comes across as an arrogant individual might not elicit the same response. Some girls are into the arrogant bad boy attitude, but that is not going to ring true for every woman. Calm confidence when it is warranted is a very good thing. The ability to stay cool under pressure also shows that you can be a reliable person when situations get tough. It makes sense that confidence and an ability to take action are sought-after qualities.

Develop Your Physical Strength

Not every woman is going to get hot and bothered because of how physically strong you are, but some girls do find it to be quite the turn on. For instance, some girls love how it feels to be held in the strong arms of a man. Some women also find it to be very sexy when their boyfriends pick them up off their feet playfully. Your girl might even enjoy it when you show your physical strength in the bedroom during your intimate moments together.

Have Patience

Patience is something that can be a turn-on for women as well. Truthfully, many people lack patience in modern times. There might be situations where you want something to hurry up and will lose your cool. Many people struggle with patience-related issues, and it can be problematic. If you’re a more patient individual than usual, then you might find that it is a big turn-on for your girl.

If you’re the type of guy who can relax and wait for your girlfriend to get ready without pressuring her, then that is likely going to be a big plus. It can also be a turn-on for a woman to see a man who doesn’t get too pushy about pushing her into things too fast. This can mean being willing to wait to have sex if she isn’t ready yet. You could say that patience and gentlemanly behavior go hand-in-hand, but even gentlemen can lose their cool sometimes. Patience is a potential turn on that you might not have considered before reading this article, but it’s a virtue for a reason.

Look Sharp

Turn Ons For Girls May Be Different Than You Think
Discover More With a Licensed Relationship Counselor Online Today
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Of course, physical appearance is also something that can be a big turn on for a girl in a relationship. It should come as no surprise that your girlfriend is going to take notice when you’re looking your best. She might find it appealing when you dress up for a big occasion. It might even be that she takes notice if you have put a bit of extra effort into your appearance than usual. This could mean that you have been working out or it could be that you’ve trimmed your beard how she likes it.

Just remember that your appearance is one of many things that can be a turn-on your girl. There are many factors in play here, and it is worth considering them all. It’s normal to be turned on by physical attractiveness or to have some appreciate specific parts of your body. Your girlfriend might be turned on by your muscular arms or she might be taken by your gentle eyes. Whatever the case is, it should be easy for you to appreciate being able to have that type of impact on her.

Speak To Online Couples Counselors For Help

If you’re going through some relationship problems or if you’re worried that your girlfriend isn’t as attracted to you as she could be, then you might want to get some help. There might be some issues in your relationship that are holding you back from developing a truly deep connection. Thankfully, it’s going to be possible to work on problems like this by turning to professionals. Online couples counseling is a fantastic way for couples to get help, and you can start focusing on ways to solve the problems in your relationship.

This is very convenient, and you are always going to be able to reach out for help when you need it. You can attend couples therapy sessions to work on communication issues, and you will both come to understand each other’s desires much more clearly. Individual sessions are also available if one of you has specific problems that you would like to seek treatment for. Online therapy is discreet, and it is always going to be easy to reach out when you feel the need. Try therapy out today if you feel that your relationship could use a helping hand.

Counselor Reviews

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”


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