Dealing With A Lackluster Sex Life? Here Are Some Fun Sex Tips To Bring Back The Excitement!
By: Dylan Buckley
Updated June 20, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers
Even in a loving relationship, things can become dull in the bedroom if you are not actively trying new methods of foreplay, new positions, or doing something as simple as learning more about who you are as individuals. Many people believe that improving the current situation with your partner can be hard, but the truth is that you can quickly spice up your erotic relationship with just a few simple tips. Are you dealing with lackluster sex life? If so, here are some fun sex tips that will help to bring back the excitement into your relationship!
Why Has My Sex Life lost Its Excitement?
To truly solve the problems you are having in the bedroom, we first need to identify the root of the problem and fix it there. Otherwise, you will only temporarily address the sexual problem or continue to face problems as you try to address it.
On the surface, dull sex life may seem to be the byproduct of a familiar style of making love. If you and your partner rarely ever leave missionary positions or have the same kind of sex several times a week, your interest in having sex might wane, leading to an inactive sex life and an equally unhappy couple. In some cases, this is the only issue, and the good news is that these problems are easy to change. If you are a couple that is only experiencing problems in your sex life, the key to changing is simply switching things up. Be open and honest with each other, and talk about what you would like more of. What would you like to try? What turns you on? What could your partner do to enhance the experience? Good love-making comes from communication and consideration. We will discuss some of these fun sex ideas you can try to get further into the article.
If there are issues outside of the sex, these are most likely the reasons why you are unable to experience a better sex life in the bedroom, even if you are trying to fix it. Take a closer look at your relationship with your partner and ask yourself, are there any unresolved issues causing friction or resentment in your relationship? Couples who are angry towards each other for various reasons will find it hard to be connected and intimate. Likewise, some people will withhold sex as a way to punish their partner for something that may have happened in the past. Even if you are having sex, you will only have better sex if you and your partner are happy with each other and have a strong relationship. These kinds of issues are extremely common in relationships where both partners are feeling sexually unsatisfied. Take the time to examine this potential issue and see if you can remedy it with your partner.
Finally, we come to medical or physical issues that may be impacting the quality of sex in the bedroom. These issues are often left undiscussed as they could be embarrassing for the person dealing with them. Some of the problems that may be impacting performance in the bedroom include excessive stress, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, depression, the side effects of certain medications, aging, or anxiety, to name a few. Although it can be difficult to talk about these things, it is vital. Take time and create a safe, open space where you and your partner can dive deeper into these issues. When possible, make sure to reach out to a medical professional who can help relieve the symptoms of these health problems.
How Can I Spice Things Up In The Bedroom? Fun Sexual Things To Do
If you and your partner have dealt with the latter two issues in the section above, the only thing standing in your way is your current sex life. The good news is that the sexual sphere has so much to offer couples struggling in the bedroom. To get you and your partner started developing the sexual life you want, here are some excellent tips that will help you get back into the swing of things!
1. Try To Make Your Sexual Sessions More Intimate
In some relationships, sex can feel like a chore rather than a gift. This is especially true if you are approaching the act with a "get it done" attitude and only using positions where you don't have to look at each other. Part of having a better sex life involves bringing intimacy back into the bedroom. Focus on touching each other more and experiencing the sensations that sex has to offer. Look deep into your partner's soul and take things slowly. Show them that you love and care about them with your body. When you pour your entire yourself into your sexual expression, it results in better sex.
2. Focus On More Foreplay Before You Get Into Bed
Going straight into bed without foreplay can make it hard for you and your partner to be excited enough to enjoy sex. If you do not already practice foreplay, make sure to try it next time you intend to go to the bedroom. Send a sexy text. Touch each other over your clothes. Get yourselves excited long before you are even ready to engage sexually. Foreplay can heighten the senses and make it easier for you and your partner to achieve orgasm. The best part? Foreplay can be anything that gets you and your partner excited.
3. Explore Your Fantasies With Your Partner
All of us have fantasies that turn us on. However, not all of us are open and honest with our partners about some of these fantasies. Take some time to sit down and talk with your partner about some of these fantasies. During this time, ask your partner what they would like to do as well. Perhaps you want to do something that involves sexual activity outside of the bedroom. Maybe you have been looking for a sexual fantasy that includes costumes or a setting. Whatever it is, don't be afraid to ask for it. As long as it doesn't involve hurting or making your partner uncomfortable, your partner may be open to it.
4. Consider Trying Bondage And Other Toys
If you have a sex life that others would describe as "vanilla," you may want to try different toys designed to make things more fun. For example, you could tie up your partner to the headboard and try out some light BDSM. You could also purchase sex toys that sexually stimulate you and your partner and make sex far more exciting than it currently is. Although there is a stigma surrounding some of these products, they are safe when used correctly, and there is nothing wrong with using them. If it gets you and your partner excited for sex, try them!
5. Become More Communicative With Each Other
A lack of communication in the bedroom is not sexy. When you don't speak with your partner while having sex, it can be difficult to determine your partner's desire or feeling. On the other side, you may be staying silent about things you are not enjoying. You and your partner must be very vocal about what is working and what you need to be changed when you are in the middle of intercourse. It is only when you guys talk to each other that you can have great sex.
6. Try New Positions That You Have Never Done Before
Even though you and your partner have become accustomed to a couple of positions, there are tons of potential positions that you can try out (although you may not want to try all of them). Use your time in the bedroom as an opportunity to try new things. The worst that could happen is that you and your partner are not in that new position. The best that could happen is that you get a new position that you can switch out with some of your more common positions.
7. Extend Your Sexual Sessions
While quick sex serves its purpose in some cases, it's not a goal that you should always be aiming for when you are with your partner. Taking things slow and steady can be much more exciting than quickly trying to reach climax. The next time you have sex, try to be more mindful about your session. How is your partner feeling, and what are they experiencing? What are you feeling and experiencing? Savor these moments and work on providing the best pleasure that you guys have ever had. Longer, intense sexual sessions can make things more exciting and get both of you back into the mood.
8. Turn Off The Lights Or Use Blindfolds
Even though the visual aspects of sex are stimulating, so is the act of not seeing anything at all. Having sex while one or both people cannot see may serve to bring you into your bodies so that you truly experience your sexual sessions. You can do this by using a blindfold when you are engaging in sexual activity. If you are confident with being able to have sex in the dark, you may want to turn off the lights on occasion so that you can both benefit from this activity. Blind sex will heighten your senses and turn you on, especially if you are used to seeing your partner.
9. Use Sexy Games Or Trivia To Get Things Going
There are tons of sexy games that people use to switch things up. From trivia games that give you fun sexual questions to ask your partner to dice games that give you various instructions for trying with your partner, games make it to try new things without having to do extensive research beforehand. Go to your local bookstore or sex shop to see if you can find some of these games for your bedroom.
If your relationship can only benefit from some changes in your sex habits, the good news is that you can easily incorporate some of the ideas above to experience a more satisfying sex life. If you and your partner have other health or relationship issues causing problems, you will need outside help to work through these problems. One easy way to get this professional help is to reach out to an expert on Regain! ReGain is an online counseling platform dedicated to improving relationships and making it easier to access counseling resources. Just sit down with your partner, click on the link above, answer a few questions, and start your path towards a better relationship and sex life!
A counselor can help you grow intimacy, bring the spark back into the bedroom, or learn valuable ways to communicate with each other about your needs and desires.
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