Is Your Partner Using Affair Apps? How To Find Out The Truth

Updated September 7, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

One of the most important parts of a romantic connection is trust, which can mean believing your partner will be faithful to you. Upon suspecting that your partner is cheating on you, you may start to question the relationship and go to great lengths to discover the truth. While you may want to assume the best of your partner, certain signs may signal that they are using affair apps and engaging in infidelity. It can be important to stay curious without jumping to conclusions on your quest to find out the truth about your partner’s behaviors.

Discovering That Your Partner Has Been Cheating Can Be Difficult

How Common Is Cheating?

As much as we would like to believe that our partners are faithful, cheating can be common in relationships. Many marriages end in divorce, and one of the most common causes of divorce is infidelity. According to the Institute For Family Studies, 13% of women and 20% of men have cheated via sex while married. Affair apps aren't to blame for cheating; it takes self-control to refrain from engaging in infidelity and is ultimately a personal decision to be unfaithful. 

How People Cheat And What To Look For

Many people who cheat on their partners use secret messaging apps, like Signal, which allow them to chat with others discreetly. Depending on the cheating your partner is engaging in, whether sexual, emotional, or otherwise, there are different apps they might use to cheat or hide their behavior. These days, looking at your partner’s call logs may not be sufficient enough to know if they are speaking to someone else.

Is your partner using apps to engage in an affair? If you think they might be cheating on you, here are some common apps that someone could use to engage in infidelity that you may want to be aware of and look out for on your partner's phone or tablet.

  1. Viber

Viber is a messaging and calling app with a hidden chat option. This means that if a partner were to look at your phone, they wouldn't know about the conversation. It could be used by a cheating partner because secret messages are often integral to people involved in affairs. The secrecy of the communication may add to the appeal of the connection for a cheating partner and give them a rush of adrenaline. 

  1. Telegram

Telegram isn't only for having affairs, and isn’t necessarily a cheater’s app. Many people use this app for a variety of reasons. However, there are pieces of this app that could be used for infidelity. As with Viber, there's a hidden chat option, and you can get these chats from different devices. Like other messaging apps, Telegram could be a sign of something more or could be harmless, depending on how your partner is using it and in what context.

  1. GPS Tracking Apps

A GPS tracking app might be a tool your partner utilizes to get away with their affair without getting caught. If your partner has a GPS tracking app on their phone (which is not the same as a normal GPS app that helps you get to where you're going; it's a way to see where someone else is at all times), they might be using it to keep tabs on you. If you have a reason to suspect cheating, this could something to look into, as you could potentially use this app to see where they are. 

  1. Dating Apps

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If someone has a dating app on their phone and is in a committed partnership, it could be a sign that they are cheating in their current relationship. If you have an open relationship or your partner is using an app to make friends, and they've communicated with you about it, that's one thing. However, if they've never told you about the app and you happen to notice that they're occupied by an app that is for dating specifically, it may be cause for concern. Examples of dating apps include Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, and Match, as well as other applications. There are many dating apps out there, and this is by no means an extensive list. If you see any of these apps installed on their phone, there may be a chance they are cheating. 

  1. Social Media Apps

Social media apps can be a breeding ground for infidelity. Whether it's having an emotional affair, or it becomes a full-on physically intimate relationship, social media can be the catalyst for cheating. If your partner is unfaithful, they might not necessarily use a special app for that purpose. Instead, they may be doing it right under your nose through apps that they use every day already. Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook are just a few examples of social media platforms that can make it easier to cheat. Depending on the app being used, your partner might be using it to send direct messages without you knowing or exchange pictures or videos with someone else. Snapchat specifically leaves no trace of personal messages, videos, and photos after they're opened, making it easy for a cheater to avoid getting caught with these disappearing messages.

  1. Ashley Madison

The Ashley Madison service, offered through a website or an app, is explicitly used for having affairs. This app is intended to be used for married people that want to have an affair and specifically encourages it. This is one of several married affairs websites that can destroy marriages and gives spouses an easy way to be unfaithful to their partner. 

Other Ways That People Cheat

Another way people cheat is by having an extra phone line to receive text messages from their lover. If you have an extra phone line, you can usually get away with talking to a person on the side more easily. There are even more archaic ways of communicating, such as through the mail. There are many ways for a person to hide what they're doing, and although technology has done much good for the modern world, apps make it easier than ever to cheat without anyone finding out. If you suspect that your partner is having an affair using an app, here are some things that you can do:

Confront Them

Discovering That Your Partner Has Been Cheating Can Be Difficult

Confrontation isn't easy for some people. It can be nerve-wracking to face the fact that your partner is unfaithful. When you suspect your partner is cheating and have evidence to back it up, it can be wise to confront them about it as long as you feel safe in the situation. If your partner has been abusive in any way, including verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, or sexually, the critical thing to do is prioritize your well-being. If you don't feel safe talking about infidelity, don't risk your health. Talk to a licensed therapist if you're not sure how to handle the news that your partner has been unfaithful. A mental health professional can guide you through this process. If you are at risk of harm, reach out immediately to domestic violence services in your local area.

Go To Couples Therapy

If you sense or suspect that your partner is cheating, these feelings may be symbolic of some relationship issues that need to be dealt with. Couples therapy can provide a safe place to talk with your partner about problems in your relationship with a licensed mental health professional present. It can save relationships, or it can help you split peacefully. If you're not ready to bring it up with your partner or you're afraid to do so, you might consider seeking the help of an individual counselor who can help you take a look at the situation and potentially prepare you to confront your partner, overcome a partner cheating, or bring up the idea of couples counseling.

Moving Forward

If you find that your partner is having an affair, it can be crucial to understand that it's not your fault. It was their choice to stray outside of the relationship. Discovering that they've been unfaithful can be devastating, often shocking, and something that no one deserves to experience. While some people may be serial cheaters, not all people who cheat are ill-meaning partners who intend to hurt another. Cheating behaviors can be forgiven, and second chances given, depending on the couple. Repairing a relationship after infidelity can take a lot of effort and persistence, but it is possible. That being said, it is a personal decision what happens after cheating has been discovered in a relationship. Different decisions are healthier for different individuals. 

Online Counseling With Regain

If you’re needing to work through issues related to relationships and infidelity, counseling can help. At Regain, you can talk to an individual counselor or find a couples counselor for you and your partner to work with together. Every situation is unique, and a licensed mental health professional can help you look at things objectively so that you can find the healthiest outcome for your situation. Regain’s counselors are specialized in a variety of areas so that you can find support no matter what you and your partner are facing. 

The Efficacy Of Online Counseling 

Online counseling has been used by individuals and couples alike to heal from a variety of situations. In one study, researchers have assessed the effectiveness of internet-based cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) for survivors of intimate partner violence. They found that participants experienced reductions in symptoms of PTSD and depression. Regardless of the situation you’re going through, online CBT may help you change your thoughts regarding your circumstances and choose healthier patterns of thinking. 

The Takeaway

The idea that your partner may be using affair apps can be challenging to process. You might be flooded with a variety of emotions that you aren’t sure how to handle, especially upon discovering that your suspicions are true. If you’re going through a difficult situation such as this, confiding in an online counselor may help you move forward. You deserve healthy, fulfilling, and reciprocal relationships in your life and don’t have to work toward them on your own. 

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