Can My Cheating GF Ever Change?
Updated March 25, 2020
Reviewer Robin Brock
Having someone cheat on you feels horrible and you might not know whether you're even going to be able to continue your relationship. Infidelity is often too much for a relationship to bear. Many couples break up once one person cheats on the other, but some relationships have been able to withstand significant problems like this. If your girlfriend recently cheated on you, then you might be trying to figure things out in your head. You might even be asking yourself, "can my cheating girlfriend ever change?"
This is a tough question to answer and it's hard to know for sure. Having a cheating girlfriend likely makes you feel like she doesn't love you or that something is amiss in your relationship. Your girlfriend might still love you, but she could be confused and might need to work through some personal issues. It's up to you to decide whether or not to forgive her for cheating on you. Cheating girlfriends can change, but some might be more likely to keep cheating on you in the future. Read on to look at this problem from several different angles and to see how your girlfriend might be able to change for you if you work on the relationship.
Cheating is Often a Sign That Something is Wrong
It's important to recognize that cheating is often a sign that something is wrong. You should never blame yourself when a partner cheats on you. A cheating girlfriend is always going to be in the wrong. Even if she isn't satisfied in your relationship, she never should have cheated on you. If she isn't happy, then she should have spoken to you about things so that you could work on it. Otherwise, if she doesn't want to be with you, then she should have taken steps to end the relationship.
Before worrying about whether she can change, it's going to be prudent to determine if she even wants to stay with you. Is she with you out of a sense of obligation or does she truly want to be your girlfriend? It's going to be time to have a serious talk with her about your relationship and what she wants. Her cheating is a sign that something isn't right and there are things that you need to work on. If she is going to change, then it might also be necessary for you to change. There are likely things in the relationship that need to be worked on over time if it is going to have a chance to succeed.
This is going to be an uncomfortable conversation to have. Many men won't be willing to keep dating a woman who cheats. If you feel like you'll never be able to trust her again, then it's up to you to decide to end the relationship. Your options are to break up with her, stay together and work on the relationship, or stay together and have her keep cheating on you. If you're going to stay together, then you must try to initiate change for the sake of your happiness.
Why She Cheated on You Matters
Why your girlfriend cheated on you matters. It also matters how she cheated on you. For instance, if your girlfriend cheated on you while she was intoxicated, then that might make things sting a little less. It doesn't change what she did, but it does mean that she wasn't in her right mind when she decided that cheating was a good idea. If she cheated in a situation where she felt like she had very little control, then you might be more apt to forgive her infidelity.
It's also imperative to figure out what her motivations were. If she knew what she was doing and she planned out the act of cheating on you, then you need to know why she did it. Was she specifically trying to hurt you? Does she love this guy that she cheated on you with? These are all questions that you'll need to have answered if you're going to be able to move on. How she answers these questions will play a role in determining whether she can change.
If your girlfriend has been cheating on you for a while, then this is not a good sign. Girlfriends who have cheated on their boyfriends with multiple partners might be less likely to change. She might just be a promiscuous person who is drawn to seeking out multiple sex partners. Some people even have sex addictions and this can be very tough to deal with. It is possible to seek out professional help if sex addiction is an issue, but it's more common for men to have this problem than women. You're going to have to use the information to figure out whether you think she can change for the better or if you need to leave her.
Fixing Your Relationship Issues
Those who decide to stay with their cheating girlfriends will need to work on things. If you don't try to fix your relationship issues, then you likely aren't going to get different results. Your girlfriend might keep cheating on you and you could just be delaying the inevitable by staying with her. That being said, it is possible to fix relationship problems to build a stronger bond with your girl. This might not always be easy and it's going to involve acknowledging personal faults. It's likely that you're both to blame for certain problems in your relationship and you'll need to determine how to change things for the better.
Many couples have communication problems that prevent them from developing a truly tight bond. If there is a distance between you, then it could be causing your girlfriend to want to seek out attention from other men. You might be busy with work or you could be very tired when you get home. This could lead you to ignore her sometimes or you might even simply get wrapped up in your hobbies. Many people are guilty of this, but sometimes it can cause relationship problems.
You're likely going to need to put more effort into communicating with your girlfriend and spending time together. Try to remember why you love each other and see if your relationship still has legs. If you can get back to basics and start talking again, then things might be able to slowly change. Some couples have larger problems to overcome than others. If you're a couple that constantly fights with each other, then things are likely even more tumultuous, and you'll need to try harder. Learning how to speak to each other is crucial.
Working on Your Sexual Connection
Some women cheat on their men due to not being satisfied with their sex lives. There is no justification for cheating on someone. Even if your girlfriend isn't satisfied with the type of sex that you're having, she shouldn't have done what she did. Regardless, if you want to stay with her, then it's going to be a good idea to work on your sexual connection. Talk to her about what she wants out of your sex life together. You might be able to change things up so that her desires are being met.
Your sexual desires are important, too. If you can start working on developing a stronger sexual connection, then that could strengthen your entire relationship. This isn't the only thing that needs work, but it could be a major component that you will want to focus on. Your girlfriend might have sexual fantasies that she would like to explore. She could have felt like she couldn't come to you with these sex ideas due to your lack of interest as of late. Don't feel like this is your fault but consider addressing her sexual needs and try to keep an open mind if you love her.
Many couples are guilty of becoming too complacent in their sex lives. Some people just sort of go through the motions after being together for a while. You likely have many other things going on in your life that take your attention and it isn't always easy to focus on sex. Just remember that sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. It's worth taking the time to work on your sex life if it can lead to a happier life together.
Consider Trying Online Couples Therapy
If you're committed to each other and you want to fix your relationship, then it might be smart to sign up for online couples' therapy. This is a great way for you to address what happened while learning how to build a stronger relationship. It can take time to get over a huge hurdle such as infidelity. Even so, you're going to have committed professionals helping you every step of the way. A licensed therapist can work with you whenever it is convenient for you and you'll be able to address any problems that are present in your relationship.