How To Start A Conversation On Tinder with A Guy That Swipes Right On You

Updated April 8, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Dating apps are just one way you can get to know new people and search for potential mates via the internet. Tinder is an app that people use to find others that they're interested in seeing or at least getting to know better. When a guy swipes right on you on Tinder, it can signal their interest in you. Now, you may feel that the pressure is on and not know what to say. There are many ways you can choose to start a conversation with a new Tinder match and keep it going. Knowing how to effectively communicate with your matches can help you connect with them on a deeper level and assess your compatibility with them. 

Finding the right words can be difficult

Approaching a guy who thinks you’re attractive

Starting a conversation on Tinder doesn't have to be complicated. You can open with, "Hey, how's it going?" You already know that the guy finds you attractive, otherwise, they likely wouldn’t have swiped right. This can be a major plus. Asking how it's going opens a conversation and allows the guy to let you into their world. If this question seems too vague, consider the following tips to help you start a dialogue with a guy who swipes right on you on Tinder.

Ways to say hi

You may have a difficult time starting a conversation, but there are a ton of cute and easy ways to simply say hello. You might say, "Hey, how's it going?" Another thing that you can do is ask about how a person's downtime went. For example, you could ask, "How was your weekend?" or "Hope your day is going well! What are you up to today?" Feel free to be flirty or intermittently use emojis to add a personal touch. Open-ended questions can be helpful for keeping the conversation flowing. Questions about what someone's up to or what they did that day are often superior to questions that only allow the person to give yes or no answers.

Give compliments

If you look at the guy's profile and pictures, you can find something to compliment them on. For example, you might see a photo of the guy and their dog. This gives you an opportunity to praise them for being an animal person, and it can be an icebreaker, too. If they seem to like animals, you can say, "Your dog is so cute! What's their name?" If you see a photo that you like with the guy wearing a particular shirt, you can give them a compliment on that. It can be as simple as "I like that picture of you. You're cute." Then, you can ask, "Where was that picture taken?" Compliments can be a productive way to start a conversation because they often make people feel special and give you something specific to discuss.

Be a detective

By looking at someone's pictures, you can find out a lot about them. If you survey a guy's gallery on Tinder, you can get some insight into who they are and what they like to do. Maybe the guy’s profile has photos from their hikes or lots of vacation photos. From that, you may conclude that they’re the adventurous type. You can ask them questions about where the images were taken, if they like to travel, and if so, where they’ve traveled in the world, or where they’d like to travel in the future. By looking at their photos, you can find a relevant topic to bring up with them to start a conversation and see what you have in common.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh

People like to talk about themselves - so let them!

Most people like to talk about themselves. If you ask the appropriate question, a guy may easily tell you about what makes them unique. Let's say that the guy has a photo of themselves holding a musical instrument. This can give you an opening to ask about something that might be a major passion of theirs. If you see them playing the guitar, ask how long they’ve been playing for or what genre they like to play. If you see a photo of them dressed up for Halloween, you can ask them about the costume. Maybe they dressed up as a character from a movie that you both like, or maybe you don't recognize the costume and want to ask them what it is. Find something you're curious about and begin a dialogue about it. You never know what interesting information your new guy might reveal.

Keep it light

Many people sign up for a Tinder account to have fun. That's not to say you won't find a serious relationship with someone you meet on the app, but it can be important to keep things lighthearted in the beginning. You don't have to go into detail about your past relationships or talk about serious topics like politics when you're first getting to know someone from Tinder. If it's your first conversation, keep it casual, but let it flow naturally. 

One thing that's safe to start with is asking someone what they're interested in or what they do for a living. Someone's job can tell you a lot about them. You can ask what made them want to go into that field or if they like what they do. They picked their occupation for a reason, so you can ask them what drew them to their career and gain insight into what drives them to succeed or what makes them happy.

You can ask them about their favorite books or TV shows, and you can ask if they've ever seen your favorite TV show or movie, and so on. There are countless lighthearted questions that you can ask to get to know a person better. Remember that you don't have to dig deep and ask personal questions right away. You're just getting to know this person, and you don't want to overstep their boundaries.

Getty/Luis Alvarez
Finding the right words can be difficult

Using the right photos

You know that expression, "A picture says a thousand words?" Remember that on Tinder – it can be important to post pictures that show who you are as well as what you look like. If you're wearing a hat, standing far away from the camera, or covering your face in photos, the other people on the app may have difficulty seeing what you look like. It can be beneficial to post interesting photos where you're doing something that you love or showing off your smile. This can help you attract matches that you may also be interested in or find attractive. If you don't have any photos that accurately showcase your personality right now, there's no shame in asking a friend to have a little photoshoot with you.

The importance of questions

When it comes to getting to know somebody new, asking the right questions can be key to productive and meaningful conversations. Questions can show care and concern about getting to know someone else. They can also allow you to learn a lot of new information about your love interest and bring the two of you closer. Asking questions can be integral when you're getting to know someone new because the questions you ask are often indicative of your interest in that person. The guy is probably paying attention to the kind of questions you’re asking, and through your inquiries, they can gauge your interest in getting to know them better. By asking thoughtful questions about your new love interest, you can prep one another for a positive time together if you do end up meeting in person. 

It's okay to be nervous

You may feel nervous when you're talking to a guy on Tinder for the first time. This is natural. Maybe this is the first time that you've tried online dating. Perhaps you have social anxiety, or you are an introvert. You can make a joke about your nervousness to ease the tension but try to remain honest. You could say something like, "Normally I hide from people, but you're cool." Something like this can let the guy know that you find them interesting enough to devote time to getting to know them despite your nerves.

Online counseling with Regain

Navigating the dating scene can be challenging, particularly when dating apps are involved in your search for someone special. If you’re struggling to connect with people online or never make it past the screen to an actual date, working with an online therapist could be beneficial. At Regain, the counselors are trained in a variety of areas, including healthy communication, intimacy, and conflict. Whether you want to improve your personal skills or want to grow in your relationship with your partner, a therapist can provide encouragement and guidance. Regain has sought to make accessing mental health care easier and more convenient. That’s why you won’t need to drive to an office or wait on a waiting list to begin getting the support you need. Instead, you can talk to your therapist at any time and anywhere you have a smart device and a Wi-Fi connection. You deserve to prioritize your mental health regardless of the stage of life that you’re in. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Dating apps can allow you to meet lots of different people, but they may also set you up for more chances of being rejected. Rejection can cause anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, and more. Each of these may be appropriately addressed in online counseling, according to this study. When researchers compared a face-to-face counseling intervention to an online therapy program, they found that they were equally as effective. Those in the online therapy group had fewer symptoms of depression, interpersonal sensitivity, and anxiety. They also experienced less psychological distress overall and enjoyed greater life satisfaction.


Dating apps can provide an easy, convenient way to get to know other people. Everyone has a different style of communication, and there is no one-size-fits all approach to opening a conversation with another person. You may have certain barriers preventing you from establishing a relationship with someone else or struggle to find the words to connect. If that’s the case, connecting with an online counselor could be a viable next step in the right direction. Regain can equip you with the tools and confidence you need to be yourself and find what you’re looking for. 

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