Why Good Listening Is Important When You're Dating

Updated March 29, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Good listening matters in all areas of life. When you are out there trying to date, good listening is an attribute that will significantly contribute to your interactions and relationships with other people. In today's world, people want to feel as though they're being heard and listened to just as much as you do.

Enhance your listening skills with the help of a therapist

Getting to know someone and determining whether or not you want to continue to relate to one another are significant parts of dating. To get to know a person and vet them as a potential significant other, you have to listen to them. In the world of dating, listening allows you to not only learn about who someone else is and what they have to offer, but it also helps you determine what you do and don't want in a relationship. If you are distracted or not paying attention to what they are saying, you could have difficulty deciding whether to continue seeing them or not.

Good listening skills are ones you can work on and practice until they become second nature. You may find your relationships grow deeper and more special when you are actively listening to what others have to say.

Six reasons why good listening is important when you're dating

Being told that good listening is important is all well and good. However, when you know precisely why good listening matters so much, you're much more likely to behave accordingly. Good listening doesn't mean that you can never assert yourself or make your points heard. What it does mean is knowing the appropriate time to let someone else have the floor. Good listening comes with a plethora of upsides. The following reasons should help to explain further the benefits associated with good listening when you're dating.

You'll learn more

Learning is one of the greatest perks of being a good listener. When you're dating, good listening allows you to learn more about who you're involved with, including their interests, goals, opinions, and outlooks on life. You may like or dislike what someone has to say, but the ability to learn from someone is always an opportunity to be taken seriously. Learning is always valuable. 

Solving problems becomes easier

Chances are good that at one point or another, you are going to run into issues with someone you're dating. This doesn't mean that you necessarily must stop dating this person but ups and downs are inherent parts of human interaction. The bright side is that once you master the habit of good listening, solving problems becomes easier and less stressful.

When you're dating, problems can crop up for many reasons. Sometimes, it simply boils down to a misunderstanding. In other cases, there may be genuine disagreements about certain situations. Either way it goes, the ability to be a good listener will come in handy. Many people would be shocked to learn how many relationships turn sour because one or both parties feel as though the other doesn't listen to them or take them seriously.

It creates trust

Trust is paramount when you're dating. Without trust, there is no basis or foundation for any kind of healthy relationship. Good listening allows you to build a healthy rapport with the person you're dating. It shows that you respect and care enough about what they have to say to hear them out. Would you prefer someone you're dating to listen to you when you're trying to communicate or tune you out?

Most likely, you'd choose the former over the latter. The same applies to most other people as well. In virtually all cases, people are more likely to trust someone who cares enough to be a good listener, especially when they're dating. Trust is incredibly valuable; it can take a lifetime to build and seconds to destroy.

You're more likely to get good advice

When you're dating, you may want to go to the other person for advice at one point or another. Obviously, there's no guarantee on the quality of advice that you'll get; however, if the other person does have worthwhile advice, the only way you'll know is if you're a good listener.

Many people have missed out on valuable insight or information because they failed to engage in good listening. Even if the person you're dating gives you poor advice, good listening can help you determine what not to act upon. In other words, no matter how you slice it, good listening gives you a better shot at making the right judgment call.

It breeds patience

Good listening breeds patience. Many people fail to realize this, but when you truly think about good listening, its connection to patience makes a lot of sense. When you truly listen to someone, this means directing your energy and attention from yourself onto them.

Not everyone can handle this, and this lack of patience can cause problems when you're dating someone. Patience is connected to good listening because the latter involves not thinking of the next thing to say while the other party is speaking.


You'll grow as a dating partner

In the world of dating, taking someone else's thoughts, interests, and feelings into account matters. Good listening is certainly an excellent starting point for considering the other person, especially if you're interested in having a long-term relationship with them. As you date, you will want to grow personally and be a person that others actually want to date. The ability to engage in good listening will likely prove to be of value to you throughout your various romantic interactions.

Good listening and appropriate next steps

When you're dating, good listening is invaluable, but so is knowing how and when to take the appropriate next steps after listening. There is no set answer on the right moves to make; the appropriate actions that should follow good listening will largely depend on yourself, the other person you're dating, and the subject of the conversation.

Part of knowing what the appropriate next steps are is knowing what you're listening to. For instance, if you and the person you're dating disagree on a certain matter, the ideal next step would be to reach common ground somehow. Of course, whether or not common ground can be reached depends on the disagreement's nature and both parties' interest levels in finding solutions.

Another part of good listening is knowing when it's time to cut ties and end a relationship. This will not always be the next step, but there are times where good listening leads you to realize that something better is out there waiting for you.

Sometimes, people hang onto relationships and dating partners when it isn't working. There are a whole host of reasons for this, but it's never a wise call. Be a good listener, and don't be afraid to make the moves that are necessary to maintain your mental health and wellbeing.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
Enhance your listening skills with the help of a therapist

Build listening skills in online therapy

Whether you're dealing with struggles in your dating life or another matter entirely, help and resources for support are available. Far too often, people are led to believe that they must do everything on their own. Thankfully, this is not the case. If you'd like to have a trusted confidant in your corner and professional advice uniquely personalized to your situation, you may want to sign up for online therapy with Regain.

Online therapy will not instantly make your problems vanish into thin air; however, it can be effective in working through all sorts of issues. Many individuals have turned to online therapy to practice and improve their communication skills. Working with an online therapist can help you on your quest to rise above struggles and grow as an individual.

With a therapist, you can work on building your listening practices so the next time you're on a date, you can practice good listening and learn so much more in the process.


Good listening certainly matters when you're dating, but all good things take time. If listening to others is something that you've struggled with, don't beat yourself up over it. The good news is that you're reading this, and hopefully, you're considering making a change. As you make it your mission to be a good listener when you're dating, you'll also find that others are much more likely to reciprocate this behavior.

Good listening can benefit you in dating and in life. Knowing when to ask for help can be just as beneficial, if not more so. Asking for help is one of the most courageous things you can do because it requires self-awareness and opening up to someone else.

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