Why Do I Feel Empty Inside, Even Though I’m In A Relationship?
By Joy Youell
Updated April 27, 2020
Reviewer Audrey Kelly, LMFT
You always thought that being in a relationship would make you feel like you were on top of the world. That's why you're so surprised that you don't feel much of anything at all right now. It's worrisome when you feel empty inside despite being in a relationship with someone that seems like they should be a good match. What's wrong with your current situation, and why do you feel the way that you do?
Why Do I Feel Empty Inside?
Trying to figure out why you feel empty inside is going to take a bit of introspection. Not everyone is going to have these empty feelings for the same reasons. To get to the bottom of this situation, it's going to be necessary to figure out a few things about yourself. Look at some of the possible reasons for why you might feel empty inside below. Reading through some potential causes might help you to realize what is going on in your life.
Many people feel like they're empty inside when they've experienced some type of traumatic event. Has anything bad happened in your life? Traumatic incidents may have occurred in childhood, their effects lingering even as you have grown up. Trauma may also happen during a season of loss, whether that be a death, divorce, career change or other form of losing something. Traumatic events can leave you feeling numb to the world, and this can carry over into your relationships.
There are many types of traumatic events that can make you feel empty inside. People who have been abused in some way often experience feelings like this. Consider whether some sort of traumatic event is causing you to feel this emptiness. If this is the case, then your relationship isn't to blame for what is going on. You might need to work with professionals to truly overcome what you're going through.
Depression is another common reason for why people feel empty inside. When you're going through a bout of depression, you may not be able to feel anything at all. This sort of numbness can be very disconcerting. You might wonder whether you'll ever be able to feel happy again.
There are many different signs of depression that you should look out for. One of the most common depression symptoms is losing interest in activities that you used to love. With this kind of depression, you may lose interest in spending time with your partner. You might be in such a bad place mentally that you feel numb inside when you start to think about your relationship.
Depression is a mental health condition. It is not just a mood or feeling. Often, depression requires treatment. It is accompanied by symptoms of anxiety. You can manage depression symptoms by attending therapy to address the root causes of your depression. It's also possible to mitigate depression symptoms with antidepressant medications. If you suspect that you might be depressed in some way, then you should speak with your doctor.
One key way to address depression is through talk therapy. Talk therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps people find the roots of psychological issues. People in this kind of therapy form a healthy, communicative relationship with their mental health care provider. This helps them overcome mental and emotional challenges and can ease the symptoms of depression.
Problems With Your Relationship
It's also possible that you feel unhappy because of problems in your relationship. If you have been with your current partner for a while, then you have a shared history that may include conflict. Not all relationships are going to be smooth sailing. Some couples are more prone to bickering or arguing, which can lead to dissatisfaction.
If you have significant relationship problems, then this could be causing you to feel empty inside. You might feel numb and unfulfilled by the relationship. When this is the case, it's going to be difficult to continue going on. Sometimes, relationship issues can be overcome if both people want to work on things. If you do feel like you love your partner, then you can try to fix the problems that might be holding you back.
You Feel Like Your Partner Isn't Right For You
Have you wondered whether your current partner is right for you? Perhaps your feelings of emptiness can be associated with your doubts about the relationship. Not all relationships are permanent. Maybe you are only dating because you don't like the idea of being alone. If you jumped into your current relationship without really determining whether it was a good match, this could lead to uncertainty down the road.
If you aren't compatible with your partner, then you might not see a future together. When you know that something isn't going to work out long-term, it can make you feel uneasy. You might be simply waiting for the relationship to end due to not having confidence that your relationship was ever a good idea. Understand that this might not be the cause of your empty feelings. It is simply one possibility to consider.
Not Spending Enough Time Together
Perhaps you just aren't spending enough time with your partner. Do you both work a lot? One common cause of relationship problems is being overworked. If you work long hours, then you might not have the most fulfilling love life due to being too tired to connect once you get home.
It's important to try your best to make the most of the time that you do have together. If you can, schedule more time with one another. Even spending a little bit of time together every evening is going to be helpful when you're trying to strengthen your bond. If your feelings of emptiness seem to fade away when you're enjoying your partner's presence, you may have found the source of your issue.
You Need More Passion
Have you and your partner been spending enough time together romantically? If not, then you might be longing for a passionate connection. This can relate to not spending enough time together. If you don't have a lot of time, then you likely aren't able to focus on romance very much either.
You could attempt to reignite your passion for one another by making a concerted effort to be more romantic. It might even be good to try to improve your sex life in certain ways. Sometimes making adjustments like this can lead to a more fulfilling relationship. If you haven't been connecting intimately lately, then this could be a cause for those feelings of emptiness.
What if You Feel Empty Even When Your Partner is There?
If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn't a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It's important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness. The way that you feel inside might not have anything to do with your partner or your relationship at all.
Knowing this, it's important to try to figure out what is going on. Be honest with yourself and search your feelings. It might help to talk about the way that you're feeling with someone. If you don't want to discuss what is going on with your significant other, then you could talk with a close friend instead. It's just important to address what is happening rather than choosing to ignore it.
You might even want to decide to reach out for professional help. Talking with your doctor or a counselor might be very beneficial. If you are feeling depressed in some way, then you can develop a treatment plan. You will figure out why you're feeling so empty inside if you're willing to confront the situation.
Attend Online Couples Counseling
If you're committed to making your relationship work and you want to get rid of the empty feeling inside you, then you should consider attending online couples counseling sessions. This is going to be a very good way to work on any problems that are present in your relationship. There is a chance that your problems might be associated with a type of depression or anxiety. You could also be having these feelings due to inherent problems with the way your relationship works.
Either way, the online counselors are going to be ready to help you overcome these issues. They know how to help couples figure out what is keeping them from finding true happiness. They can guide you down a happier path in life while addressing all of the issues that you're experiencing. Having skilled professionals like this on your side will make it much easier to move forward together. If you want your relationship to work, then you can count on online couples counselors to be there for you.
Online counseling is a valuable resource for people who are struggling with feelings of emptiness. There is growing evidence that people benefit from the convenience and accessibility of online therapy. These forms of treatment are more popular than ever, as they provide easy, digital access to numerous, highly-trained mental health professionals. You don't need to worry about sitting in traffic or being in a waiting room surrounded by other people - you may access online therapy platforms (such as ReGain) from the comfort and privacy of your own home. Below are some reviews of ReGain counselors for you to read, from people experiencing similar issues.
"I don't know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him."
"With Cassandra's help, we've been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She's very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She's skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her."
You don't have to live with feelings of emptiness. Wherever these feelings stem from, help is available. A licensed counselor can help you unpack your feelings, determine their source and create a treatment plan that will work for you. They may also help you best understand whether your relationship is working or not. Take the first step to a healthier, fuller and happier life.