What Do I Do When I Am Feeling Alone And Need Someone To Talk To?
It is quite natural to feel lonely sometimes. People might feel lonely if it's been a while since they saw family or friends. Many people have begun to work from home, and this can create feelings of loneliness if they were previously used to having social interaction every day at the office. Loneliness can be difficult to cope with. There are, however, many ways to connect with others. You may just need to look around and be creative.
Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know
Consider talking to strangers in social settings; you never know when you're going to find an interesting person to talk to. What is the worst thing that could happen? They may not talk back to you. You are, after all, sitting somewhere feeling lonely anyway. Why not try to do something that will make you feel happier? Find something to comment on or ask a question. Be sure that you don’t just ask a yes or no question. The idea is to strike up a conversation and keep the person engaged.
Talk to people online
If you aren’t ready to venture out of the house on your own or don’t know where to go, you can always talk to people online in a support chat group. Join a community group on Facebook and strike up a conversation with others. You may find that you have similar interests as others who are also at home feeling lonely.
Perhaps after a few conversations, you can ask about a good place to meet up to hang out; see if others will join you. You may be surprised by all the new friends you make by taking such small steps.
Get involved with a volunteer organization
Every town has a variety of volunteer organizations and committees that need help. Find something that interests you and attend a meeting.
If you cannot find a volunteer organization that you are passionate about, then start your own. Make a social media page and invite others to join it. Before you know it, you may be someone that others want to get to know.
If you have young kids, look for a playgroup. Perhaps you have school-age children. You can join the Parent-Teacher Organization. If you don’t have kids, see if there are singles groups. You can also volunteer to help at the local soup kitchen, library, or pet rescue center. There are so many different types of groups for people of all levels of wants and needs.
Get a pet
Animals are great at helping us feel less alone and less blue. If you are having a bad day, a pet can typically sense it and will want to give you extra cuddles. A cute kitten or furry puppy can be your best friend and make you forget all about your troubles. Plus, if you get a dog, you can take it to your local dog park and meet others who are looking for a two-legged friend.
Reading can help you
Fiction is a great way to escape to another world. It sucks you into another place and time. There is nothing better than finding a great book and getting lost in it.
As a matter of fact, reading is good for you too. Adults who have low literacy capabilities have $230 billion a year in additional health care costs annually. The better the reader, the fewer medical issues you should have from a statistical point of view.
If you are an avid reader, you can join a book club—many libraries sponsor one. This is a great way to meet like-minded people, and you already have something to talk about to get you started.
Get lost
While we don’t want you to literally never find your way home, if you have a few days, you could take a random train, plane, or automobile trip to somewhere you’ve never been.
Sing a song to yourself while window shopping—dance around. Stop and have a drink at every bar you find (even if you are only ordering Shirley Temples). Not only will you ward off loneliness, but you can also find yourself having a fantastic time. Who knows, maybe you will find someone to dance in the streets with along the way.
Dance
As we mentioned above, dancing can be a great way to expel some energy. If you are feeling lonely, dancing can put you in a better mood. Put on some fun music, pour yourself a glass of wine, and dance around the house. Do it naked if you want. The goal is to feel comfortable. No one but you is there anyway, right? Doing silly things alone will give you a great laugh, if nothing else.
Go for a run, jog, or walk
Scientifically speaking, running makes you happy. Your body releases certain chemicals when you exercise that naturally lift your mood. If you are feeling down and alone, head outdoors. If you are not athletically included, going for a casual walk outside can help you feel happier. This is still a healthy way to combat loneliness.
According to the CDC, 80% of people do not exercise enough. Getting outside to listen to the birds, watch the leaves blow, or see kids playing in your neighborhood can cheer you up in a hurry and make you feel less alone.
Get a camera and start snapping
If you feel alone and want to reconnect with the Earth, there is no better way than through photography. Taking pictures is a great hobby and makes fantastic art.
If you start getting really good, you can hold art shows and connect with prospective buyers and other photographers. Together you can work to have more shows and support each other’s craft.
Plan a vacation
Just planning a vacation can lift your spirits. If work has been unusually hectic, or you need to get away from the chaos at home for a while, planning a trip can help you immensely. For those who don’t live near relatives, finding a mutual meeting destination can be a great time too. The idea is to get away from the norm and do something different!
Determine what is the cause of your loneliness
At the end of the day, you need to figure out where your feelings of loneliness come from and if there are reasons other than a lack of peers.
Loneliness can be caused by depression, sadness, a loss, or even a medical condition. While some people need to connect with other humans, others may benefit from seeking the help of in-person or online counseling. Regain, for example, is a convenient, affordable way to meet with a licensed therapist and work through whatever is causing your loneliness. You don't even need to leave home to have a session. As long as you have an internet connection where you are, you can meet with your therapist.
Online cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) has proven to be quite effective for a wide array of mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. If these are what may be causing your feelings of loneliness, online CBT can help take negative feelings and behaviors and teach you how to replace them with more positive feelings and behaviors. Online CBT can be just as effective as CBT done in person.
Takeaway
If your loneliness has had a sudden onset, it might not be from lack of interaction, and trying random things may not help. While it can’t hurt to get out of your comfort zone if you have been in a funk, it is always better to find the cause of your loneliness first, especially if you were previously an outgoing and happy person. You don't need to continually feel lonely. Trying something new or getting support can help you get right back on track.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What causes you to feel alone?
Many things can cause you to feel lonely. The negative feelings and thoughts associated with feeling lonely for any (or no) reason can be incredibly uncomfortable. So, what is it that makes people feel lonely? Here are a few reasons you might be feeling lonely:
You’ve recently changed jobs or schools
You’ve just moved to a new town
You work from home
You’ve just ended a major relationship (romantic or platonic)
You’ve just moved away from your parents or out of a friend's house
You have a lot of acquaintances but no real friends
These are just a few of the reasons why you might be feeling lonely. Some people may feel lonely for no reason, and the feelings of loneliness won't seem to go away even when you have others you can rely on.
With this kind of loneliness, it’s common to feel like you’re separated from everyone and everything, and you may tend to feel like you deserve to be alone. If you feel like this, it could be a sign of chronic loneliness, which can be treated with the help of a therapist.
What can I do when I am alone?
Everyone feels lonely from time to time, and it is important to learn how to cope with loneliness. Here are some ways to feel less lonely:
Reply to any messages that you’ve been putting off
Write a letter to a friend or loved one
Call someone and talk for a while
Read a book or watch a tv show
Go to the park and walk
Do something creative: draw, paint, dance, sing
Volunteer at a charity and help people
Turn up the music and sing loudly
Go somewhere that you enjoy and talk to new people
If you’re feeling lonely, the worst thing that you can do is sulk and let yourself feel even lonelier. Acknowledge that you’re feeling lonely, then get up and do something. Do something that makes you feel happy and that makes you feel worthy.
When you’re not feeling down, make a list of all the things you can do when you feel lonely. You won’t have to think about things to do; you can grab your list and get moving.
What does it mean to feel alone?
When a person feels alone, they generally lack something in their lives. That may be the companionship of others, a sense of purpose in life, or a lack of fulfillment in their jobs. If you are constantly feeling alone, then it may be a sign that you need to change some aspects (or multiple aspects) of your life.
If you have changed parts of your life and still have feelings of overwhelming loneliness, then you may have a significant underlying mental illness such as depression that is interfering with your ability to enjoy life.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms of depression in addition to loneliness, consider talking to a doctor or therapist for medical advice:
Lack of interest
Loss of interest in things you loved
Insomnia
Sleeping too much
Overeating or undereating
Feeling down or sad all the time
Trouble concentrating or remembering
Fatigue
Help is available, and many treatment options can help you feel better.
Is there a disorder for wanting to be alone?
Some people feel comfortable or feel happy when alone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, while there is no specific mental disorder for being lonely or preferring loneliness, it can be a serious underlying mental illness symptom.
These mental disorders can include bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, and schizoid personality disorder. If you are experiencing other avoidant disorders in addition to loneliness, consider seeking medical attention.
Is it ok to feel lonely?
It is perfectly normal to feel lonely. There are times when people go through major changes, and they find themselves leaving their old lives behind. This can be cathartic in some ways and painful in others.
It is important to remember that loneliness is often only temporary and does not have to become a permanent state. Reach out to friends and family and talk to them and have them help you through this new and unfamiliar time.
When you’re ready, it’s time to go out into the world and start socializing and meeting new people.
Is it bad to be alone all the time?
While it is perfectly healthy to be alone sometimes as it helps us relax, rest, and recharge, it is not healthy to be alone all the time. Humans are social creatures, and to thrive, we need social interaction, love, and physical touch. Too much alone time stifles our growth as well as our physical and mental health.
On the other hand, being around others constantly can be just as emotionally draining and depleting. It is important to have a healthy balance of alone time and social time to be a healthy and well-balanced person.
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