Tired Of Hearing No? Try These Creative Ways To Ask A Girl Out

Updated March 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

If there's one thing that many guys overthink a lot, it's . In their minds, they may be thinking of all the reasons she'll say no. It's best to trust your gut and just ask, but sometimes, that can be easier said than done. 

There are many reasons that men fear the unknown when they want to ask a woman out. Sometimes, feelings of anxiety, shyness, or fear of rejection take over and stop them mid-sentence. It may help to know that girls appreciate the courage a guy displays by asking her out. Perhaps you just need some fresh ideas to get the ball rolling.

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Rejection can be tough—a therapist can help

Before you ask her out

Are you constantly hearing "no" when you ask someone out? Is it causing you to be withdrawn or avoid the possibility of rejection altogether? It's possible that you have obvious emotional hang-ups or personal insecurities she can sense that may cause her to say no. It's easy to wear a lack of confidence on your face. Therefore, before you ask another girl out, try to overcome your fears about the possibility of rejection. It will be easier to take a risk if you're feeling more confident in yourself. 

Here are a few steps to take to help you overcome those fears.

  • Relax a little. It's understandable that you would be a little nervous about how she'll respond, but don't stress about it. Relax and just be yourself. Stress can cause you to appear overly anxious or unsure about yourself, and that's an instant turnoff for many girls.
  • Feel good about yourself. Do you feel good about yourself? Do you like what you're doing in life? If not, consider making some changes. It will be difficult for you to be your genuine self with someone else if you don't feel good about who you truly are. Make an effort to perform a self-check on yourself. Get to a place that makes you feel good about who you are before you try to become a part of someone else's life.
  • Talk to a professional. If you're a nervous wreck about dating or have severe anxiety when asking someone out, you may need to seek counseling to discover the underlying issue. Counselors offer a healthy perspective and a healthy approach that can help you deal with anxiety or other personal emotions.
  • Realize your self-worth. Are you worried that she'll say no because you're not good enough? Stop! It's time for you to realize your true value and remind yourself that you're valuable and anyone would be lucky to spend time with you. Value yourself and don't allow anyone to depreciate that value.

Creative ways to ask her out

Once you've assessed and addressed your fears, you can move on to asking her out. Go ahead! The next time you bump into your crush at the coffee shop or in line at the grocery store, ask her out on a date. You may be feeling like you're stumped and not really sure what to say. After all, you've only recently worked up the nerve to ask her out, right? That's perfectly fine. Here are some creative ways to request that date.

Write a note

If you were hoping for something super cheesy or romantic out of the gate, you're out of luck. Writing a note can come across as super cute, and it's a fun old-fashioned way to communicate. Girls may get excited when a guy writes her a note to ask her out because she knows he put a little thought into it. If you want to make it unique, have the note put on a card with a flower or chocolate delivery.

Have it printed on a shirt

You may have to be pretty bold to try this one but it's unique and really creative. Have the words "Will you go out with me?" printed on a t-shirt. Be sure that she's the one to see it because you don't want to run the risk of some other girl accepting the invite. That would be awkward, right?

Put it in a melody

If you have any musical talents, sing a song to ask her out. However, if you're not musically talented, hire a singer or musician to sing her a melody that asks her out on a date. She will be impressed that you went through such measures just to ask her out.

Give her a call

Thanks to emails, texts, and social media, phone calls are not the norm these days. She will be shocked to answer the phone and hear you on the other end asking her to go out with you. This approach shows her that you're a true gentleman, which she'll appreciate all the more. Phone calls may seem a little antiquated, but they're also very personal and show a lot of effort.

Stuff your words into a bear

This can be both cute and romantic. You don't have to go to the state fair to give a girl a bear. There are several shops out there that allow you to add words or lyrics to a bear. It may even be easier to purchase a cute and cuddly bear, record your voice asking her out, and stuff it inside the back of the bear. She'll love the bear and be even more impressed with your creative genius.

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Give her flowers

The moment she sees you with flowers, she may be ready to say yes. That's how much girls love getting flowers. It's traditional but one of the most creative ways to ask a girl out. Flowers are always a nice gesture, and they don't have to be expensive. Grab a bouquet from the local flower shop or the floral department at the grocery store and add a personal note on a card. (Try to make sure that you don't give her flowers if she has an allergy—you can always ask one of her friends to find out.)

Charm her with a treat

Find out her favorite dessert and give it to her. This will definitely get her talking and may almost count as a date in itself. If there's icing on the treat, write the words, "Would you like to go out?" or something similar. If you've got baking skills, bake her a simple cake to ask her out. This can be a sweet and creative way to ask a girl out.

Send her an e-vite for dinner for two

She'll probably be a bit confused at first, but with any luck will soon catch on to your proposal. Once she RSVPs, start planning the perfect first date. You can include a catchy or creative phrase in the e-vite to grab her attention. This is a great approach if you want to avoid the awkwardness of asking in person.

Coffee anyone?

Do you both visit the same coffee house? Have the barista to write a note on the cup instead of her name. It could read, "Josh wants to take you out," or something similar. This is a creative approach that is easy to pull off.

Leave a card in her door

You can personalize a card and stick it in her door. This only works if she already knows who you are—you don't want to scare her off if you're a total stranger. Choose a card that fits her personality and remember to put your number inside so she can call and give you an answer. 

Give her a customized balloon

You can add a personal note to a balloon asking her to go out with you. Find out her favorite color and get the balloon in that color with the message printed on the exterior. Keep it short and sweet with the words "Go out with me" or something quirky that fits your personality.

Borrow her phone

No, you're not going to use her phone to make a call. Instead, when she walks away from it, quickly change your name in the contacts to "Let's go out" or some other cute phrase. Once she returns, call her phone and she'll see what it says. Her reaction may be of happy, genuine surprise.

Order pizza delivery

Call in an order for a pizza delivery and have it sent to her address. Of course, you need to pay for it, but have the person that takes your order write a message on the receipt. She'll see your name on that receipt and know it's from you. Chances are, she'll call you after she eats a slice.

Order her lunch and send it to her job

If you know what she likes to eat or her favorite lunch spot, order it and have it delivered to her work. If you can take it without seeming weird, deliver it personally. She will enjoy the lunch and really appreciate the gesture. When she calls you to say thanks, ask her if you two can do lunch together next time.

Just ask her

This may not seem too creative to you, but there's a lot of creativeness in simplicity. Walk up to her and tell her how you've been trying to think of ways to ask her out. Let her know that you'd like to take her some place nice and enjoy an evening out. She'll see this as a kind gesture that's purely genuine.

Getty/AnnaStills
Rejection can be tough—a therapist can help

You don't really need to go all out when asking a girl out. If you get too creative with the "ask," it may be hard to make the date live up to that same standard. Consider the personality of the girl you're asking out. If she's a quiet person with a soft personality, don't come on too strong. But if you know she likes things to be extra and elaborate, feel free to pull out all the stops when you ask her out.

What not to do when asking a woman out

It's good to know creative ways how to ask a woman out, but you should also know ways not to ask a woman out. Don't ruin a perfect opportunity by making the wrong move or choosing the wrong approach to ask her out. Here are a few tips on what not to do when asking a girl out.

Don't go through her friends

You're an adult, and you don't need to use her friends to ask her out for you. If you can flirt with her, you can certainly ask her out yourself. Refrain from returning to the teenage years when you would get her best friend to ask her out for you. Ask her yourself, and your chances of getting a yes will be greater.

Don't be too cocky

Even if you know that you're extremely handsome and all the girls want you, she's not all other girls. Turn on the charm and most importantly, be spontaneous, and don't forget, a little nervousness may be a turn on for her. Confidence is good, but cockiness is a turnoff.

Don't be a bore

You shouldn't be cocky, but don't be boring either. If she sees you as a dork, she may decline your proposal to go out with her.

Ask an online therapist for dating advice

If you're in search of creative ways to ask a girl out, the options are endless. Be sure to go with your instinct and don't overstep the boundaries. Understand that there is a difference between creative ways and crazy ways to ask her out.

If you feel like there are things you need to work on before you try asking out the girl of your dreams, consider online therapy. This has become a popular method for working on improving yourself. No matter where you live, if you've got an internet connection, you can get a therapist.

Regain is an online therapy platform that's both affordable and convenient. You can be matched to a licensed therapist trained to work with someone in your particular situation. You'll be able to have sessions from home and you can choose to text, phone, or video chat with your therapist.

Once you feel confident in yourself, you can choose the perfect way to ask your crush out. Good luck!

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