Should I Start A Relationship Blog? 10 Reasons Why Writing About Your Partner Helps
Blogging has become a popular way of discussing ideas with others. The term blog is a short version of the term weblog. Blogs are websites where people can post their opinions, articles, stories, photos, videos, and whatever else is on their minds, including material based on their relationships—romantic and otherwise.
There are pros and cons to blogging about your relationships in a blog, especially if you choose to blog about your romantic relationship. If done right, blogging about a relationship can have a positive effect on your relationship; blogging done wrong could spell trouble.
If you decide to start a blog about your relationship, be sure to discuss the idea with your partner. There should be no surprises once you start posting. If your blog does not enhance your relationship, you may want to reconsider switching your blog's focus.
Why blog? Does everything have to be public?
The simple answer is no; everything doesn't have to be public. The point of a blog is to express what you, as the writer and author, are feeling and thinking about. Depending on how you arrange your settings, your followers may also have an opportunity to respond to your writing.
Writing a blog can be an exciting journey. You'll love waking up to find that you've gained followers overnight and that they're interested in your content. You may find that you learn a lot from each other. Most importantly, it's likely you'll learn that you're far from alone in experiencing many of the relationship joys, challenges, and expectations as others worldwide.
10 reasons why writing about your partner may be helpful
Besides writing a blog for your own personal reasons, there can be many benefits to writing about partner relationships. If you're in a thriving, healthy relationship, you're learning new things about each other every day. And why not communicate your experiences and listen to what others have to say in response? Who knows? You may learn even more about your relationship and how you and your partner can thrive.
Here are some positive reasons for blogging about your relationship:
- It will strengthen your friendship. If you're writing about your partner regularly, it sends a clear message to them how often they're really on your mind. This is the basis for a deep and thoughtful friendship, which is a good foundation for all romantic relationships.
- It gives you a voice. Have you ever thought about how much easier it is to say things to a friend about your partner rather than talking directly to them? When you write things down, it allows you to communicate openly.
- It will help you to problem-solve. Every relationship has conflicts and differences of opinion. The goal is to resolve those conflicts compassionately and effectively. Blogging is a great way to pick up some valuable advice.
- It makes your exchanges more meaningful. Often, we tend to communicate only part of what we want to say. Writing a blog allows you to dig a little deeper and explore things in more depth. Once the issue is in writing and your partner reads it, it may open a new, deeper conversation about it.
- You can use your blog to honor and encourage your partner.
- Writing a blog is sort of like writing a long, focused letter where you can go into greater detail than you would in a conversation or a short note. Who doesn't want a letter dedicated especially to them?
- Blog writing also serves as a way of being self-reflective. Through writing, we learn about ourselves and others. Each of us is a work in progress. Over time, writing details our journey toward personal growth. Personal growth is certainly healthy for your relationship.
- Writing gives your partner a chance to understand your thoughts more fully. When you send a text or email, you're likely to get one back just as quickly. When your partner reads your blog, you're less likely to get a quick response and more likely to get a response that meets the thoughtfulness of your blog writing.
- Both of you will look forward to what the next blog posting will bring to the relationship.
- If your partner is also a writer, you can consider both posting to the blog—doubling the connection and interaction with the outside world.
What do the experts say about blogging about your partner?
Blogging, and specifically blogging about your partner, is a new phenomenon. There haven't been any studies done to date that explore the specific impact of relationship blogging on relationships.
There have been studies completed on other types of communication between couples, such as texting. Also, researchers have performed studies that analyze the health of partner relationships when they bring certain facets of their relationship out into the open.
For example, a recent study shows that couples that send texts too often can inhibit communication in their relationship.
In another study which was later popularized by the article "To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This," psychologists paired up strangers and asked them to ask personal questions of each other. That speaks volumes to the level of intimacy that partners can create when they practice communicating with a greater degree of closeness.
Relationship bloggers should always be aware that their partner may not accept the spirit in which a piece was written. While this may be an outlier, your partner's feelings are still valid, and it's important to acknowledge that.
Couples therapy may be helpful when a blog post causes a little tension or the feeling that something is a little "off." Even when things are going well, you can incorporate your blog writings into your couples therapy sessions to help you be vulnerable and open up about the deeper issues with the relationship. Counseling sessions by a licensed counselor through Regain offer a safe space where both of you can explore your relationship with each other and the impact of a relationship blog on your relationship.
Just as blogging is an online phenomenon, so, too, is online therapy. This has become a popular way for people to work through relationship issues with their partner. There's no need to leave home to work with a therapist—and scheduling is typically a breeze. You may even figure out things in therapy that create ideas for future blog posts.
Tips for drawing healthy blogging boundaries
Every healthy relationship should have boundaries. Don't make the mistake of assuming that you know where your partner's boundaries are. Blogs are public writings that are open to the world. As much as your relationship may gain from blogging, there is just as much to lose.
The topic of boundaries will need to be an ongoing conversation. What aspects of our relationship are you comfortable with others knowing about? What are some things that you both agree will never be told? Don't be surprised if your partner's answers don't match up closely with yours.
As a rule of thumb in relationship blogging, it's always a good idea to focus on the positive. A relationship blog isn't the place to air your dirty laundry!
Tell your side, and if your partner decides that he or she wants to tell their side, allow them a section in your writing for that.
Be aware that a public blog is open to the whole world reading it. Your friends, family, co-workers, bosses, and in-laws may read it and form judgments about you or your partner, whether you ever learn about it or not. Even one comment can go viral across social media outlets within minutes, causing you to spend days, months, or years doing damage control.
Remember, however, that with the right approach, a relationship blog can uplift and enhance your relationship. Keep it focused and positive and see how your relationship blooms.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the 25 most common relationship problems?
The 25 most common relationship problems are:
- Being overwhelmed
- Lack of communication
- Taking each other for granted
- Money issues
- Chore responsibility
- Mistrust
- Changing life goals
- Lack of appreciation
- Differing sex drives
- Different views on parenthood
- Jealousy
- Wanting children or not
- Differing core values (politics, religion, etc.)
- Unrealistic expectations
- Addictions
- Being unsupportive of each other
- Being excessively controlling
- Boredom
- Keeping score
- Infidelity
- You’ve outgrown each other
- Lack of responsibility
- Manipulation
- Long-term stress
- Traumatic situations or events
What are the four types of relationships?
When it comes to couples, a recent study by the University of Illinois found that most couples fit into one of four relationship categories. These categories are:
- The dramatic couple: the most common type of couple and the type that also experienced the most emotional fluctuation and lowest satisfaction rate.
- The conflicted couple: These couples are very passionate, both in love and in their tempers. They tend to argue more than other couples as they have less in common.
- The social couple: These are the most “friend-like” couple. They have many mutual friends and often socialize in the same circles. They have a lot in common.
- The partner-focused couple: These couples have the strongest emotional attachment to each other and tend to spend most of their time with one another. They have similar interests and care deeply for one another.
The other four types of relationships are the ones that you make throughout your life: friends, family, acquaintances, and romantic relationships.
What are the signs of a failing relationship?
Sometimes, no matter how much effort you put into a relationship, it’s just not meant to be. Every once in a while, the only real win-win solution is to call it quits and distance yourself from the relationship.
Before you go to that extreme, though, you may want to give therapy a try, whether it’s individual or couples therapy. You may be surprised at how some of your relationship woes can be fixed with a little outside perspective. These are some of the signs of a failing relationship:
- You’re always fighting. Not disagreeing or cute bickering, but full-on fighting about something multiple times a week.
- There’s no intimacy. You have no desire for each other anymore, and you rarely, if ever, engage in any physical relations.
- You don’t trust each other. If you constantly feel like you have to snoop through your partner’s phone, or they don’t believe you when you tell them you’re with a friend, that’s a huge red flag.
- You’re feeling jealous often. Occasional jealousy is a completely normal part of any relationship. If one of you starts second-guessing everything that the other is doing to the point where any contact with other people causes you to be jealous, then that’s a problem.
- You’re thinking about cheating. Or you already have. This is a huge sign that things are wrong, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship. It usually means that your needs are not being met, and you’ve begun to look for them elsewhere because you don’t believe that you can get them from your relationship. Couples counseling can be a game-changer here and can help you both put things into perspective.
If you feel that your relationship isn’t as strong as it once was, sit down with your partner and talk to them. They may not even realize that anything is wrong until you mention it. Sometimes, people can be oblivious and believe everything is going well. Once everything is out in the open, you can try to spend more time with each other and attempt to rekindle the romance, if you choose. If all else fails, couples counseling is always a viable and often an effective route to take.
How does grief affect your relationship?
Everyone is different, and because of that, everyone processes grief differently. Some people are more likely to want to reach out for comfort and support, whereas others may be more likely to retreat into themselves. It is important to know how your partner deals with grief and trauma, just as it is important for them to understand your coping methods.
By developing an understanding of each other, you will be able to offer the support that the other needs during difficult times. It is also important to make sure that you don’t solely rely on each other through your grief. If possible, lean on friends and family as well.
If you feel that your grief or your partner's grief is driving a wedge in your relationship, then it may be time to seek couples counseling. Alternatively, you could each seek individual counseling to help resolve your emotions before proceeding to the step of couples counseling.
What are the most common problems in a relationship?
Relationships are built on love, mutual trust, commitment, and honesty. These are the things that make a long-lasting, meaningful relationship healthy. These traits are abundant in both partners in good relationships, and they can rely on one another through thick and thin.
Problems in what may seem like good relationships and meaningful relationships usually occur because of a breakdown of one of these necessary traits. Since these are the things relationships are built upon, it is easy to see how a foundation can start to crumble when they are no longer there. See above for a large list of common relationship problems.
A slow—or sudden—lack of love, a breach of trust resulting from a lie or an affair, or a lack of commitment can destroy what was once a healthy relationship. Keeping a relationship healthy after such an event takes a tremendous amount of work and often requires intervention by a therapist or counselor to help a couple see things in perspective.
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