Updated August 03, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Audrey Kelly, LMFT
Have you ever wondered if you might be considered a hopeless romantic? The term is thrown around so much in today's world it might even be overused. What does it mean to be a real hopeless romantic? By outlining the 12 character traits that define a hopeless romantic, you can better grasp the real meaning of the term.
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
Definition Of Hopeless Romantic
The basic definition of a hopeless romantic is someone that maintains an idealistic view on love, despite his or her past experiences. This person tends to place extreme importance on finding love for life. They do several things that the unromantic person has no interest in doing to find that love. What are the traits and behaviors that a hopeless romantic displays?
1. Hopeless Romantics Are Not Afraid To Show Emotion
It is not uncommon for a hopeless romantic to get teary-eyed at movies, songs, or books. If they feel moved by something, they will likely cry about it. Being around other people does not tend to stop any tears, no matter the reason. They tend to be very comfortable with their emotions.
Given that burying or ignoring your feelings can be incredibly unhealthy, a hopeless romantic tends to be more emotionally healthy than his or her counterpart or those that fail to express emotion. If the expressed emotion is constructive, it is good for hopeless romantics to continue this character trait.
2. Hopeless Romantics Have Their Wedding Planned Out
While it is a common trait for most women with a Pinterest account, a hopeless romantic will also have their entire wedding planned out - even if there is no bride or groom yet. From wedding colors to the season in which they want to get married, to specific flowers and décor, it is almost a standard for a hopeless romantic to have everything figured out.
Although several people plan their weddings because they enjoy event planning, a true hopeless romantic will have everything planned out because they love the idea of getting married. It isn't necessarily about the wedding itself, but the beginning of the rest of his or her life. This person is also equally excited to find the person that they will be marrying.
3. He Or She Believes In "The One" And Soulmates
The idea of "The One" or soulmates is a belief that all hopeless romantics hold. He or she will likely look for a partner that feels like the one. However, psychologists recommend avoiding the expectation that a single person will meet every one of your needs. While "The One" is a fine idea to have, it is important to remain somewhat realistic.
A realistic expectation for a soulmate means that a partner will not be every person to a hopeless romantic. A person is incapable of being perfect, but a hopeless romantic will appreciate his or her imperfections. It does not mean that the relationship will be easy all the time and that work is not necessary. They will still work towards a successful relationship.
4. They Love Little Gestures
Flowers, love notes, small knickknacks, and other little gestures are hugely appreciated by a hopeless romantic. They will also gift their significant other with these kinds of gifts as well. Small, thoughtful gestures mean more to this kind of person than grand gestures might. While expensive jewelry and big-ticket items are eye-catching, a hopeless romantic will usually prefer small things.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a hopeless romantic, try writing a simple note to lift their spirits or send a small bouquet to their place of employment at random. Just knowing that you are thinking about them is a great way to indicate how important they are. A hopeless romantic will see the importance of the gesture.
5. He Or She Has A Love Of Romantic Songs And Poems
It is a common trait among hopeless romantics to listen to love songs repeatedly and enjoy sweet poems or novels. They tend to read authors like Nicholas Sparks and watch romantic movies repeatedly. Many people considered hopeless romantics feel a connection to these mediums and can see or hear things in them that relate to their own lives and relationships.
While they would love for someone to go with them to a new romantic film in theaters, they also have no problem going alone. Feeling the emotion that movies, music, and writing can bring them is almost as good as the real-life experience of those things. Some hopeless romantics chase it much like a high.
6. Sex Is Often Less Important Than Being Close To Someone
For a truly hopeless romantic person, sex is not the most important aspect of the relationship. In fact, when he or she is single, it is not the sex that they miss the most, but the feeling of being close to someone. Cuddling and kissing are far more important than sex are to a person with this kind of heart.
Because of this character trait, a hopeless romantic is an individual that does not have one-night stands. They tend to fall hard and fast, and a one-night stand is likely to cause more harm than good. It is often preferred to get to know someone before they take the next step.
7. When In A Relationship, It Takes Priority
When a hopeless romantic is single, they might have hobbies that they do several times a week. This might be crafting, going to the gym, or attending weekly gatherings. However, many hopeless romantics tend to drop their hobbies or routine when in a relationship so that he or she can spend more time with their significant other.
Although it is good to make a serious relationship a priority, it can also be unhealthy to leave behind all other interests to put everything into another person. It can often lead to the hopeless romantic pursuing their significant other and the significant other distancing themselves. Also, if the relationship were to end, the pursuer would likely be lost as to how to be themselves again.
8. They Celebrate Small Anniversaries
Many people tease and poke fun at the couple who celebrates their two-week anniversary or their 10-month anniversary. Celebrating these small milestones is a character trait of a hopeless romantic. It might seem silly to those that do not have a romantic view like those who make a big deal of those seemingly insignificant anniversaries. Still, to a hopeless romantic, it is another step into the couple's future together.
Some romantics might go all out with gifts and a nice dinner, and others might acknowledge the date on social media. Whichever way the individual chooses to recognize the milestone, a hopeless romantic does not let the date pass without some way of marking it as important.
9. He Or She Has High Standards In A Partner
Sometimes a hopeless romantic has unrealistic expectations and standards when it comes to their partner. They seek an individual that can check all his or her boxes with no exceptions. Other times, they find themselves looking for someone that is nearly perfect. Since the perfect person doesn't exist, hopeless romantics can often find themselves sorely disappointed.
If an individual is unwilling to accept anything less than perfect in a partner, it might be ideal to speak with a therapist or counselor to see reality. A professional has the tools available to help a person have more realistic expectations. It might also be helpful to identify why those qualities are so important to the person.
10. Breakups Are Especially Hard On Hopeless Romantics
Although breakups can be difficult for anyone, it hits a hopeless romantic even more so. They don't just see the end of a relationship with someone important to them, but they see their entire pre-planned future disappear. Since hopeless romantics have a strong desire to get married and live their life with their partners, the end of a relationship is especially hard.
After a breakup, a truly romantic feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. It can be difficult to remember how to be themselves without that extra person on their arm. Learning to be alone is a challenge that is hard to conquer.
11. They Are Not Shy About Expressing Their Love
When in a relationship, a romantic at heart shares their feelings with everyone who will listen. Long posts describing how they feel about a person are often present on social media. They talk about their feelings to strangers. A hopeless romantic has no qualms about telling their partner how they feel, even if it is early in the relationship.
Hopeless romantics get serious in their relationships quickly. While it can be overwhelming for this kind of individual to be in a relationship with someone that is not also a hopeless romantic, it is something that the partner can get used to overtime. When both partners are hopeless romantics, there is often an equal amount of feeling-sharing between the two.
12. He Or She Feels Incredibly Lonely When Not In A Relationship
Being single is a very lonely time for hopeless romantics. These people get so used to being with another person that being alone is uncomfortable. At the same time, it can take time for them to get over the last relationship, so they don't often immediately go searching for someone new. Other hopeless romantics stumble upon a new relationship unexpectedly.
A lonely, hopeless romantic is still a hopeless romantic - they dream of meeting the one and living a life with them. While they want that relationship, they still stand by their standards and all other qualities of a hopeless romantic. They tend to learn to be lonely until they meet someone that might be the one.
Living As A Hopeless Romantic
Living life as a hopeless romantic does not have to be a negative thing. As you may have concluded from many of the above-listed items, there are several good aspects of being a person that sees love as a hopeless romantic does. If you feel as though you have the same qualities, it is okay to embrace those qualities. Like with anything, however, it is best to keep some of those characteristics under control. If help is needed to moderate some of those characteristics, professional guidance is suggested.
“Lakesha was absolutely amazing! She helped me find myself and realize my self worth in such a short period! I highly recommend her services she is FRESH and has amazing insight!”
"My experience with Priscilla has been immensely helpful in better understanding myself and providing me with the tools to see my life and relationships with more clarity and compassion."