My Anxiety Is Ruining My Relationship! What Should I Do?
If you have an anxiety disorder, you probably already know how difficult it is to cope with your feelings. When your anxiety starts to take over, it can become so easy to get lost in your thoughts, fears, and worries. This can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship, and you may even feel like your anxiety is starting to ruin your relationship. No one wants to lose the one they love because of their mental health. If you’re worried about your anxiety sabotaging your relationship, keep reading to gain insight and advice about what you can do to improve your situation.
My anxiety is ruining my relationship!
Anxiety has the potential to ruin a relationship if it isn’t managed appropriately. Left unaddressed, anxiety can wind up manifesting itself in ways that are harmful to you and your partner. There’s no reason to feel ashamed of your anxiety; it’s a serious condition that many people struggle with. With treatment, the right tools, and proper support, you can learn how to manage and move past your symptoms.
Try to be mindful of your partner's feelings
Even if you live with anxiety, you can still be a loving and supportive partner. Respect can be a central aspect of any relationship, and this is true even when you struggle with anxiety. Even when you’re feeling anxious, it can be important not to take out how you’re feeling on your partner. Learning how to cope with your symptoms can help with this. A therapist can equip you with healthy coping mechanisms that may allow you to think and behave more clearly and appropriately.
Practice open communication
For your relationship to work, it can be crucial to be open and honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. It may be scary to be vulnerable with them but being transparent can help your relationship grow. Your partner cannot read your mind; telling them about what’s on your mind can help them support you and reassure you when needed.
Apologize when necessary
No one is perfect, and we all mistakes. You might not always think rationally when you have anxiety, so if you hurt your significant other unintentionally, it can be important to apologize to them. Even if you have anxiety, you are still responsible for your actions. Committing to doing better in the future can strengthen your relationship and help your partner see that you are working to grow both as an individual and within the relationship.
Seek treatment
Seeking treatment for your anxiety can be one of the most vital things you can do for yourself and your relationship. Anxiety disorders may worsen if left untreated, and while you may be able to manage some aspects of it on your own, it can ultimately be important to reach out to a professional for support when your day-to-day functioning is affected. When you speak to a doctor or therapist, they can help you come up with a treatment plan to control and move past your symptoms. With time, you may be able to live your daily life without experiencing anxiety to the extent you were before.
Anxiety is a serious problem, but it isn't something that has to keep you from achieving your goals in life. It may be beneficial to seek treatments such as therapy during your healing journey. This can allow you to get to the root of your anxiety, and help you develop useful coping mechanisms to use in your everyday life. Managing your anxiety effectively can allow your interactions with your partner to go more smoothly instead of being impacted by anxious thoughts and feelings. If your anxiety has been ruining your relationship, the most powerful step you may be able to take is learning how to reduce the amount of anxiety in your life.
How anxiety can ruin a relationship
It can be important to see how anxiety can affect the day-to-day aspects of a relationship. Consider the following impacts anxiety can have:
Anxiety can cause trust issues
One of the most noticeable problems that you might encounter is that anxiety can cause you to be distrustful of your significant other. Anxiety isn't always rational, but those anxious feelings can be overpowering. Your anxiety disorder may make you feel like you can't trust your partner, even with the little things in life. People with severe anxiety problems may feel as if their partner is cheating on them or doing something else behind their back even when there is no evidence to suggest that this is the case.
Keep in mind that not all people who have anxiety disorders have these feelings. Still, this is a potential problem that can harm your relationship when you have anxiety. Do you have a hard time trusting others due to your feelings of anxiety? If so, then you might have difficulties truly connecting with your partner. Healthy relationships require a certain level of trust to thrive, and if that is missing, it can be difficult to be open and honest with one another.
While it’s true that trust is often built over time, anxiety can hold you back from complete security within your relationship. Overcoming your anxiety could help you have more confidence in your partner and in yourself. This can have a positive impact on the relationship and allow it to thrive.
Your anxiety might make you irritable
Anxiety can be difficult to cope with. Many people who experience severe anxiety wind up having problems interacting with others. Some people have social anxiety that keeps them from being able to socialize with other people. Others may feel irritable or angry because their mind is so overwhelmed with worries.
An anxiety disorder has the potential to put you in a bad mood. When you aren’t sure how to control your anxious thoughts and fears, it can be normal to feel stressed out. In some cases, you may respond to your anxiety by treating your partner poorly. Although your intentions might not to be to hurt them, it may still end up happening. Continuing to harm your partner can be detrimental to your relationship over time. Managing your anxiety symptoms can dull the impact that it has on your life.
Your partner might even understand that sometimes it is your anxiety talking, and it isn't something that you truly mean or feel. Even so, there can be a limit to everyone's patience. If your relationship is on the rocks, and you feel like your anxiety is playing a role, seeking professional help to work on your issues can be beneficial. It can take time to see results, but even making progress is a start in the right direction.
Anxiety can keep you from opening up to your partner
Another common issue that people with anxiety may experience is having a tough time opening up to others. If you feel like you get overly anxious whenever you become vulnerable, it may feel difficult to let someone inside. Relationships require a certain amount of vulnerability. If you can't let your partner inside or be transparent with them, how can you expect the relationship to continue developing?
If you can't be vulnerable emotionally with your partner, it might feel like limits have been placed on your relationship. This can keep your relationship from ever getting to the next level. When you want to build a future together, it can be important to try to change. This might not be simple when you have severe anxiety issues, but you can learn to manage your symptoms for a healthier outcome.
Once you’re able to be more open and honest with your significant other, your relationship can start to evolve. You can learn new things about one another and grow as a couple. Anxiety can hold you back from this next step in your relationship, but it doesn't have to. Finding support can be key to overcoming the hurdles you’re facing.
Having an anxiety disorder does not disqualify you from being in a loving relationship. In fact, people who have anxiety can be amazing lovers and attentive partners. However, it may take more effort for you to establish a healthy relationship with your partner. Finding a partner who can be there for you and practice compassion can be vital as you work your way toward healing.
Online counseling with Regain
Therapy can be an important part of treating anxiety symptoms, but you don’t necessarily have to visit a traditional office to get care. Instead, you can get connected with a therapist through Regain, an online counseling platform. Online therapists can help you with your anxiety concerns from the comfort of your home. If anxiety has made its way into your relationship, you could also consider participating in online couples counseling with your partner to address these issues directly. This can improve your relationship substantially, and you can even learn to communicate with your partner more effectively. Don't hesitate to reach out to an online counselor to help with your anxiety problems and your relationship whenever you feel ready.
The efficacy of online counseling
Anxiety disorders can be successfully managed through online therapy, according to research. In this study, researchers found that online cognitive behavioral therapy was just as effective as face-to-face CBT interventions for treating anxiety disorders. CBT is a type of therapy that helps people learn how to recognize their unhelpful thought patterns and reframe them into more helpful ways of thinking.
Takeaway
Growing closer, more intimate, and more vulnerable with another person can be scary, which is why romantic relationships often stir up a lot of different emotions. If you’re struggling with an intense feeling like anxiety, it can be debilitating, particularly when left untreated. If you want to stop anxiety from ruining an otherwise healthy relationship, it can be important to seek support and treatment from a professional. Online therapy can help you address your concerns individually or alongside your partner. A Regain therapist can provide you and your partner support during this time and encourage you to continue to grow together. Healing from anxiety is possible when you have the right tools and support.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do I stop my anxiety from ruining my relationship?
When you have anxiety and don’t have the tools to manage it, it may affect your relationship in several ways. It might prevent you from being open and honest about your feelings or cause other issues with communication with your partner. Your anxiety could also cause you to ruminate on negative thoughts, assume the worst of your partner, or look for evidence that your partner doesn’t really want to be with you.
You can learn how to control your anxiety and maintain a healthy relationship all at once. One of the most effective ways to manage your relationship when you have anxiety is to be open and honest with your partner. If there’s something you’re anxious about, talk to them about it. Remember that your partner is not a professional; while they can provide comfort, they cannot fix the issue. To keep anxiety from ruining your relationship, it can be vital to pursue support and healing on your own. By learning how to overcome your anxious thoughts and feelings, you can keep it from affecting your relationship.
Can anxiety kill a relationship?
People with anxiety may run into problems with their romantic relationships, and without managing these issues successfully, the relationship could end. While anxiety can kill relationships, there is also a chance for a relationship to prosper even if one or both partners have it.
According to Los Angeles–based psychologist Jenny Yip, people with an anxiety disorder may entertain more negative thoughts and think of the worst outcome in their relationship. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of trust and love. If you truly care for your partner, clearly communicate about your anxiety and how you can work together to manage a relationship with anxiety.
Relationships could end because of a lack of communication, which is not mutually exclusive to a relationship with anxiety. One of the most important parts of any relationship with a partner who is anxious is complete honesty. Being open and honest with one another can help the relationship stay on track.
Can anxiety make you doubt your relationship?
Someone who has anxiety may regularly doubt their relationship and wonder if they are worthy of the other person’s time. Some people’s doubts may prevent them from opening up to their partners. They may think that their partner will leave them if they are completely honest with them. This could make one or both partners insecure in the relationship.
One way to overcome your doubts is to talk to your partner about your relationship with anxiety. By being honest with your partner, you are also being honest with yourself. Learning to manage your anxiety on your own can help you overcome the doubts you’re having about your relationship.
How do you love someone with severe anxiety?
Like anyone, you can love someone with severe anxiety by putting in the work needed in interpersonal relationships. This work can include listening to your partner and empathizing with their anxiety. You can also ask them how you can help.
One possible aspect of a relationship with anxiety is that an individual may feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and need support. While you can’t necessarily change your partner’s outlook on the world, you can reassure them of your feelings and commitment. You can also encourage them to seek support and care. Remember to take care of your own mental health while loving someone with severe anxiety.
What it's like to date someone with anxiety?
Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety is not necessarily different from other relationships. Every relationship is unique and has its strengths and weaknesses because every person is different.
If you are dating someone with anxiety, there may parts of your relationship that you greatly enjoy, such as spending time with them. There might also be times when your partner’s anxiety may prevent them from opening up or wanting to go out for social events, which may be less enjoyable.
Your experience in a relationship with someone with anxiety may depend on how you approach the situation. Treating your partner with respect and care, asking how you can help, listening to their concerns, and allowing them to be honest with you can benefit your relationship with them. If your own mental health is being impacted by being in a relationship with someone with anxiety, it can be vital to seek help.
What should you not say to someone with anxiety?
You may want to avoid telling someone with anxiety to get over it or snap out of how they’re feeling. These phrases may only make them feel more discouraged. Belittling someone’s anxiety can make them feel ignored and uncomfortable. While their concerns may not seem like a big deal to you, they likely feel differently. It can be important to be encouraging and supportive toward them.
Is worry a sign of love?
If you find yourself worried in a relationship, this could be a sign of love or something else. People may be worried that they will not make their partner happy enough in a relationship. This kind of worry can show that you care for your special someone and want to make sure that they know you love them. You can alleviate this worry by being honest with your partner. If you want to show them that you care for them, try talking to them and expressing your love.
There is also a chance that your worries might be because you do not trust your partner with your personal feelings. For example, if your partner does not listen to you or take time out of their day to help console your feelings, you may feel worried that they are not putting in as much work as you are relationship. Worry is a normal feeling to have, but too much of it can be unhealthy. If you think your worry could be anxiety, consider speaking to a therapist or medical professional.
How do I stop overthinking in a relationship?
You can stop overthinking in a relationship by finding ways to not ruminate over things you have no control over. Distracting yourself through healthy hobbies and other soothing techniques can help. Consider journaling, listening to music, exercising, or hanging out with friends. Seek help from a professional if you feel you cannot control your overthinking, especially if it’s affecting your relationship.
How do I talk to my partner about anxiety?
If you have anxiety, you may have experienced repetitive and negative thoughts that you cannot stop thinking about and that your partner could help you through. For instance, you may think that your partner does not like you because they haven’t texted you for a few days. By asking your partner about something bothering you, they can help put your mind more at ease. You can try talking to your partner about your anxiety by being open and honest with them. If your partner doesn’t struggle with anxiety, they may not understand, but if they love and care for you it’s likely they’ll want to help you in any way they can.
Do hugs help anxiety attacks?
When someone is having an anxiety attack, they may or may not want to be touched. For some people, hugs are helpful because the other person is showing that they are there in a time of need. Others find that being hugged during an anxiety attack only makes it worse. You can help yourself through anxiety attacks by telling your loved ones what you need during these intense and stressful moments. If this includes a hug, that’s acceptable, but if it includes giving you space, that’s also understandable. Everyone needs something different.
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