How To Use Confident Body Language To Attract Others
Being human means we are able to use our advanced cognitive abilities, such as judgement and decision-making, to perform complex behaviors. We are also able to fine-tune our choices after experiencing mistakes or variations in outcomes caused by these decisions and confidently move forward. Some people are better at this than others. While the perfect person does not exist, we are more likely to be drawn to individuals who look like they have it all together. These individuals are confident in who they are, the choices they make, and the way they carry their body. You probably have known people who exude confidence without words. Their confident body language is visible in the way they carry themselves and how they interact with others.
Confidence is seen by many as an attractive trait, especially when first meeting someone. There is an inherent trust and appeal that emanates from a person who is comfortable with who they are and the choices they make in life. However, many of us may not have these same qualities and you may find yourself associating with people who are not confident, even insecure. In a sense, like attracts like. If you are hoping to build your self-esteem and confidence, consider learning how to carry yourself accordingly and cultivate self-assurance.
Do you struggle with confidence and find that your body is reflecting this quality? If so, here are some body language pointers to assist you in your social interactions along with with some confidence-building tips as well.
Our mouths speak words, but our bodies ultimately tell the truth, which is why changing your body language is such a necessary part of the process of attracting others. Body language is a nonverbal form of communication that plays a pivotal role in how other people perceive who you are. For example, a person who slouches and carries their head down does not appear in control or confident. Whereas an individual who stands straight with their shoulders back and head held high will exude confidence. By simply changing your posture, you can automatically appear more confident. There are several other subtle (and not so subtle) forms of body language you have control over that will help change the way you feel about yourself and your appearance with others.
To help get you started, here are some ways you can begin building your self-confidence and transform into the amazing person that you are.
Take Better Care Of Yourself
How you treat yourself and your body directly impacts how you feel on a day-to-day basis. If you fuel your body with unhealthy food, live a sedentary lifestyle, and do not make an effort to get out or look your best, it is only natural that this will reflect on who you believe you are as a person. When you eat healthier, get moving, and look like the person you are trying to be, you will feel much better about yourself. Self-care is vital to your overall well-being and self-confidence. Ensure that you are getting what you need to thrive as a person, and you will see results.
Make A List: What You Love And What You Can Work On Changing
No matter how negatively you may feel about yourself, there are always things that we love about who we are. Whether that is your eyes' color, how your hair falls, or the kind heart that you have for others, you want to emphasize these qualities to build yourself up. When you notice all the great things about you, this becomes a habit that further identifies the many other amazing traits you have. If there is anything that you do not like about yourself and you are unable to change it, embrace yourself. When this part of yourself is something that you can improve upon, set small goals each day to boost your confidence as you progress continually.
Challenge Your Negative Thought Patterns
At times, we lack confidence when we perceive ourselves negatively. Over time, these thought patterns and behaviors become ingrained into who we are and how we think. Changing that perception begins with recognizing those thoughts and stopping them in their tracks. Once you are aware of your negative thought patterns, you can stop them from being repeated and replace these negative thoughts with positive ones that are truthful. If you need help with this aspect of healing, seek the support of a professional therapist who can help you modify these types of thoughts and behaviors for the better.
Push Yourself Outside Of Your Comfort Zone
You can also build confidence by pushing yourself and prove that you can exceed your expectations. Whether you lack confidence in your career, in your finances, or even in your social life, know you have the ability fight for what you want and prove to yourself you are capable of success. One way that confidence is built is through resilience - the process of successfully adapting to challenging life experience through emotional, mental, and behavioral flexibility. You can build resilience by keeping a positive outlook when faced with a difficult task at work. Once you complete the task, celebrate your ability to have worked through it, even if you were not successful. Push your boundaries and test yourself little by little. When you see what you can achieve and succeed with these small victories, you build your confidence and open the door for further wins.
Learn More About Who You Are And What You Want
It can be hard to be confident about who you are if you are unable to see yourself clearly. A lack of self-awareness can often be a major contributing factor to low self-confidence. Studies have shown that people who are self-aware make sounder decisions, communicate more effectively, and are generally more confident than people who lack self-awareness. To build self-awareness, set aside some time to figure out what you want out of life, your passions, and where you see yourself in the future. Identify your values, your internal thoughts and behaviors, and how your actions impact others around you. Next, make a plan that can set you on the path that will allow you to manifest what you desire. When you are successful and happy with the course you have charted, it is hard to be anything but confident in yourself.
Cultivating Confident Body Language
Once you have improved your confidence, the next step to take is to adjust your body language to match this new attitude. You may have already naturally changed certain aspects of your body language simply because you feel better about yourself. However, years of poor posture and learned behaviors may be difficult to change overnight. If you are not naturally confident in the way you carry yourself, it can help have a guide that will give you all the right ideas. If you are trying to find the right body language to attract potential partners, here are some of the most common cues that will improve your odds.
Having a presence when you walk into the room gets the attention of everyone. When you are hunched, you may appear as though you are trying to hide from people and gives the impression that you are attempting to avoid social interaction. Also, slouching is hard on your spinal system and can cause you problems as you age. If you can, remind yourself to walk proudly up to people you are trying to interact with. When they see that you care about moving and walking with confidence, they will be drawn to you and your confident nature.
Open Up Your Body
This tip helps with both presences as well as approachability and body language attraction. When you take up more space, you attract more attention, appear more trustworthy and inviting. Being more open in the way you present yourself makes it easy for others to speak with you. For example, someone who is closed off by crossing their legs or arms and shrinking themselves down will get little to no attention. Why? Those who are closed off in their mannerisms make people feel that you are not open to conversation. When you expand your body and open yourself up, it gives off the impression that you want to speak to others. Do your best to open up your body, and you will notice how much more people want to speak with you.
Keep Your Head Up And Smile
People want to approach positive people. If you are not keeping your head up or smiling when you speak with others, you may not be perceived as inviting. Individuals who often smile are generally thought of as warm and welcoming. Additionally, those who look up and make direct eye contact with others while speaking with them will attract the attention they want. If you are someone who may be self-conscious about your smile or other aspects of your face, add this to your list of ways to improve your social ability and confidence. You may find by smiling more that you naturally feel confident and open to others.
Be More Engaging With Your Hand Gestures And Movements
When your body is not moving along with the conversation and emotions, it can be strange to other people. Being expressive is attractive to others because it shows them that you are engaged and listening to what they have to say (and that you are in tune with yourself). You can improve this body language cue by moving around your hands and your body when telling a story to your friends. If it helps, pretend that you are acting out your story as you are telling it. Once you manage to master this, you will become more dynamic and expressive and will be able to captivate others while speaking.
Be Aware Of Nervous Ticks And Remove Them
If you are someone who struggles socially, the chances are that you have picked up some nervous habits that have helped you to cope with social situations along the way. These kinds of habits may include anything from constantly putting your hands in your pockets to moving around a lot or even scratching your face and neck. Confident individuals are calm, cool, and collected. Do your best to be more aware of any behaviors you may have when speaking with other people and attempt to stop them when you find yourself engaging in these habits.
Practice Closer Proximity When Speaking With People
Not wanting to be close to people you are having a conversation with may give the impression that you are overly self-conscious or unfriendly. When you trust someone enough to stand near them as you are talking, you let them know that you are confident and are not worried about being close to them. If this is someone you are potentially attracted to, this body language will also indicate that you are interested in talking to them. Be sure you are being respectful and that you know how to read body language as well!
Seeking Professional Advice?
Attracting the right individual may seem easy when you are fully yourself and confident in the way you move. However, many people do not find this a simple manner of being and may need additional support to help build their self-awareness and confidence. Some may have self-esteem issues or history that impedes their ability to feel comfortable in getting out there and socializing. You may simply be a reserved person and need to learn how to open your body language to others but do not know how. A therapist can be helpful in all these situations.
Online therapy is an accessible and effective option for people who are managing confidence and self-esteem obstacles. You can attend therapy sessions in a space where you feel most comfortable without having to commute to and from a physical office. Research has also shown online therapy to be a beneficial alternative to in-person therapy and is equally effective, especially for people with anxiety-related disorders.
If you feel online therapy will be helpful, visit Regain to connect with a professional counselor who can help you work through these issues and build up your confidence.
Having and practicing confident body language can directly influence the way people perceive you on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, learning how to exhibit confident body language and learning how to improve your body language, in general, can soon help you gain more control over your feelings of self-doubt and improve your confidence. Standing taller, practicing positive self-talk and affirmations, and building resilience are all strategies you can use to express more confidence with your words and body language.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you show that you are confident?
Often, people who have low self-esteem experience a lack of confidence in themselves when they are in public or around other people. This lack of confidence in others and themselves can be due to many reasons that have occurred throughout someone’s life, including:
- An unhappy childhood resulting from parents, teachers, or coaches being overly critical
- Poor academic records in school
- Being treated poorly by your current or previous partners
- Having a mental illness including anxiety and depression
- Ongoing events that have caused significant amounts of stress, including financial difficulties or the end of a relationship
- Experiencing physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse from someone (National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE)
While any of these may all be contributing factors as to why you are unable to show confidence, it’s important to remember that with the right coping mechanisms and techniques, there are ways that you can begin feeling confident as your authentic self. Pay attention to what confident body language looks like. Here are some helpful tips that you may feel are useful for feeling confident in the future:
- When you are speaking to another person, try to make eye contact. This will allow the other person to know that you are listening and feel comfortable while being around them. Keep your chin up and straight at others. This can help guarantee that you are looking people in the face when you speak to them, which is a sign that you are comfortable in the situation.
- Another way to practice confident body language is to stand or sit up straight. While we may not do it purposefully, slouching can be one of the most significant body language mistakes. When we slouch, it gives the appearance that we are closed off and trying to be as small as possible. When we push our shoulders back and straighten our backs, we open ourselves to being more receptive to others, which many confident people do.
- Another common body language mistake that people often make is fidgeting. It’s common to fidget when we are bored; however, it is also common to fidget when we are nervous or anxious. If you want to change your body language to show confidence, try your best to keep cool, calm, and.
- Another body language tip to try practicing is to shake people’s hands firmly when you are greeting them. When you have a poor handshake, this can be an obvious sign that you are nervous and feeling inferior to those around you.
Some other tips to help you feel more confident include:
- Speaking calmly, clearly, and audibly shows composure. Confident people use inflection in their voices vibrantly to attract others to what they are saying.
- If you want to feel confident, make sure you are taking time to do self-care routines such as going to the gym, eating healthy, and pampering yourself sometimes.
- Another helpful tip that will help you feel more confident is to practice positive self-talk. Speak daily positive affirmations to yourself in place of negative self-talk. This could help you feel confident, as you will begin to believe and accept the nice words you are speaking to yourself.
How does body language affect confidence?
Having and practicing confident body language can directly influence the way people perceive you on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, learning how to exhibit confident body language and learning how to improve your body language, in general, can soon help you gain more control over your feelings of self-doubt.
This may have you questioning body language and why it matters. Body language is a form of non-verbal communication and can including factors such as:
- How your body moves
- Your posture
- The tone of your voice you use when speaking to others.
- The use of facial expressions to animate what you are saying
- What you do with your hands when you are in social situations and speaking to others
When we exhibit confident body language towards others, they may know that they can trust us. It can also show signs of being a good leader or one who can be counted upon. When we feel confident in our body language, we can feel confident mentally and emotionally in specific situations. Here are some ways that you can begin to exhibit confident body language in your life:
- Confident people often smile, so do not forget to do the same
- Confident people typically keep eye contact with other people
- Improve your body language by standing up tall and widening your stance
- Improve your body language by giving people a good firm handshake upon meeting them for the first time. This can help you make a good impression when doing a job interview as well
- Improve your body language by speaking slowly, clearly, and concisely
What is the most powerful body language skill?
Having confident body language is usually an obvious sign to others that you are confident in who you are and your authentic self, so it is helpful to improve body language skills. According to the American Management Association, here are eight of the most powerful body language skills that a confident person may exhibit:
- Try to flash a genuine smile. When we smile, we are directly influencing how other people will respond to us. If you want to appear friendly and inviting, a smile is a great indicator of good body language.
- Improve how you speak by adding subtle hand gestures while you are delivering a message.
- Relax your voice and keep it low. A relaxed tone of voice that is strong and clear in its delivery could improve your communication.
- Improve your retention of information by uncrossing your arms and legs. When we close our arms and legs, we close ourselves off In our body language, portraying that we are uninterested.
- Pay attention to your feet. While it is common for people to exhibit anxious body language in their face and hands, they will also begin to shuffle their feet, fidget, and start playing with furniture to relieve stress and other tension. Therefore, if you want to exhibit confident body language, pay attention to what you are doing with your feet.
- Another way to change your body language is to show agreement when other people are speaking to you. This can include minor expressions, a simple nod, and words of agreement. This will signal to people that you are listening to them when they speak.
- Confident body language means that you should consider greeting people warmly and shaking their hands. This can signal to others that you are friendly, open to meeting new people, and confident in who you are.
- Always try to stand tall and open when practicing confident body gestures. This will show that you are strong, confident, and receptive to the world around you.
What are the four types of body language?
Essentially, body language refers to nonverbal messages that we portray with our bodies to communicate with others. While body language can be displayed in many forms, there are four main types of nonverbal body cues that humans use to express themselves. Here are the four categories:
1. Facial Expressions
Facial expressions can communicate feelings towards others, situations, and circumstances nonverbally. Facial expressions can include:
2. Eye Contact
When practicing confident body cues, it’s always important to remember to look people in the eyes and maintain eye contact. When people shy away from keeping eye contact with others, it can often portray that they are being untruthful or are uninterested in the conversation to begin with. Maintaining eye contact throughout conversations will help people know that you are interested in what they say and are confident in speaking.
The use of gestures is another powerful way to convey nonverbal messages to others around you and help express feelings such as happiness, sadness, fear, and remorse. Remember that gestures can vary depending on where you go in the world, so research how nodding or shaking your head could be received; however, some gestures are universal across cultures, like a smile.
The tone of your voice is a significant indicator of what you are trying to communicate to others. People use their voices to express excitement, fear, remorse, anger, and even boredom. It is important to remember that people are not only going to listen to the words you are speaking, but they are also going to listen to the tone of your voice as indicators of how you are feeling.
What is a confident person like?
Confident people often exhibit body language that expresses to others that they are comfortable and in control of their environment. While many factors can indicate whether someone is confident or not, here are a couple of indicators that could suggest that someone is confident:
- They can keep their composure, meaning they control their emotions and dictate situations without becoming overwhelmed or panicked.
- Confident people speak with authority and clearly communicate to others what they think and feel or draw people in with their words.
- They take the time to celebrate others. Confident people have no problem with the spotlight not being always on them. They can naturally divert the attention to others and lift other people for their achievements due to healthy self-esteem.
- Confident people can focus on their strengths rather than their failures. Instead of focusing on all the wrong aspects of their life, they choose to rise above the challenges and work with what they have.
- They maintain open body gestures and posture. They maintain eye contact with people, stand and sit up straight, smile at everyone, and avoid crossing their arms and legs when talking to others.
Is being confident attractive?
In society and across cultures, confidence is often viewed as an attractive trait for many reasons. For example, when people are confident, it expresses to others that they are genuinely happy with who they are as a person, where they are in life currently, and that they believe that they can achieve their goals regardless of the obstacles that get in their way. Here are some ways that confidence can affect other people and influence people into believing that they are attractive:
- Confident people often smile, which portrays to others that they are genuine people
- Confidence can influence others to feel safer around them
- Confident people can keep their composure in environments that are overwhelming and step into leadership roles to help others in a stressful situation
- Confident people can take charge of their emotions and express exactly how they feel
- Confident people do not base their worth or success on the perceptions of other people
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