How To Have A Deep Connection With Your Spouse

A deep, authentic connection is something that many of us long for, but sometimes, it can be difficult to achieve. Whether you and your spouse are newlyweds or you’ve been together for decades, there may be times when you long for a deeper connection but aren’t sure how to go about it. Regardless of your situation, there are many things you and your partner can try to help you deepen your bond. In this article, we will explore several different approaches you can consider to help you create a deeper, stronger connection with your spouse.

Why is having a deep connection important?

If you’re feeling unsure of why a deep connection with your spouse matters, knowing what some of the possible benefits are can help you stay motivated. While different marriages will benefit from having a deep connection in different ways, here are a few of the most common benefits:

• A more satisfying marriage: With a deeper connection, you can understand each other's emotions more easily, and you can know more about what makes each other happy. A deep connection can mean you two have fun being together and feel comfortable around each other. When you feel more connected to your spouse, you are likely to feel more satisfied overall with your marriage.
  
• Better communication: A deep connection with your spouse can also lead to better communication between the two of you. If you feel deeply connected, you may both feel more comfortable expressing your honest thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. You can both communicate when you are upset, and you can work through conflict together. 
  
• Less stress: On difficult days, spending time with the ones you love the most can often be a perfect way to relax and let off steam. When you and your spouse are having difficulty connecting, this may be not easy. Feeling like a stranger to your spouse or not getting along with them can lead to even more stress on top of everything else you are going through. Having a deep connection with them can help create a more relaxing dynamic that adds joy and calm to your life, rather than stress and conflict. 

How to have a deep connection with your spouse

There are many ways you can deepen your connection with your spouse. If you are feeling disconnected in your relationship and want to create a deeper connection with your partner, consider trying some of the methods below. 

Incorporate more physical touch

The act of physical touch can be a great way to deepen your connection with one another if it is something you are both comfortable with. Your acts of touch do not need to be anything extreme or intense if you don't want them to be. For instance, simply walking past them in the kitchen or sitting next to them on the couch are great opportunities to show some physical touch. You could place your hand on their back or hug them. You could sit close to them when you are out to eat or hold hands when you are in public. When they walk into the house, greeting them with a smile and a hug can help them see that you are happy they are there. When they leave the house, try giving them a hug and wishing them a good day. These acts of affection can help your connection grow.

Show gratitude towards your spouse

Another way to try to deepen your connection is to let your spouse know how thankful you are for them by showing gratitude for them regularly. You can thank them when they have done something for the household, even if it is something like doing the dishes or paying the utility bill. Other than simply saying thank you, there are many other ways to show gratitude towards your spouse. You can make their favorite meals or take over some housework that they routinely do. Write them a letter and put it in their lunch box to see at work or send them a text when you know they have had a difficult day. You can surprise them with gestures of gratitude, whether it be a small or big surprise, just let them know that you see how much they do and that you are grateful for them. Doing these simple things can be a great way to have a deeper connection with your spouse. 

Do acts of love

Showing love and kindness to your partner can also help deepen the connection of your relationship. Simply saying that you love them can help reassure them that they are loved and cared for, and being kind to them can show them how much you care. These acts of love and kindness can be small or large. For instance, you could write them a love letter, bring them their favorite breakfast in bed, or fill up their gas tank if you know they have a busy day ahead. When trying to show your love for your spouse, it may also help to learn your spouse's love language. These love languages can be helpful in knowing the best ways to show your spouse you love them based on how they prefer to receive it. Whether your partner's love language is acts of service, gift-giving, words of affirmation, quality time, or physical touch, you can be intentional about showing your partner that you love them.

Date your spouse

Whether you have been with your spouse for one year or for decades, just because you are married does not mean that the dating has to stop. Dating your spouse can help make your marriage more fun and deepen your connection. Some people have very busy work or school schedules, kids, or many other responsibilities. You can try to work around these responsibilities to schedule a few date nights. If you don't have time to leave the house, you can always have a date at home. You could cook a meal together, from start to finish, and then enjoy a movie night on the couch. Dates don't have to be elaborate or expensive, it is often far more important to simply make time for each other in whatever way works well for you both.

Seek marriage counseling

If you would like support in deepening your connection with your spouse, you and your partner can seek help through marriage counseling. Your counselor can help teach you and your spouse how to implement new habits in your lives that will help you deepen your relationship. They can also help you improve your communication skills so that you and your partner can talk to each other about the changes you want to make in the marriage to feel closer. In fact, research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy in improving relationship satisfaction. 

For many couples, it can feel difficult to make time for something like therapy on top of the many other commitments and responsibilities of life. With online therapy, you can meet with your therapist wherever you have internet, which may make it easier to schedule as there’s no need for a long commute.

Takeaway

There are many ways you can deepen your connection with your spouse, including some of the ideas detailed above. For instance, you can incorporate more physical touch, show gratitude for your partner, and have frequent date nights. For additional support in deepening your connection, you and your partner can also meet with a therapist for guidance.