Anger is a common problem in relationships, but sometimes partners may not understand how it affects one another or contributes to other concerns surrounding their relationship. The type of behavior displayed says a lot about how a person handles their emotions. How anger affects a relationship is based on the frequency of outbursts and the intensity. Uncontrolled anger interferes with daily living and relationship growth. Understanding how anger affects relations between partners helps clarify how to express and manage your emotions effectively.
Dealing with anger in a relationship has challenges because it can change the dynamics of a situation quickly. When a partner experiences an emotional outburst, they are likely reacting to their partner's actions. An individual may have anger issues but not realize they are making the relationship difficult. Sometimes anger occurs when there is a lack of communication or understanding between both partners. Often, someone gets blamed for the anger that arises when, in reality, both partners play a role related to the cause.
While anger is an emotion people experience within reason, some studies suggest it may occur in cycles in a relationship when certain aspects are not acknowledged or resolved. Aspects relate to behaviors and actions expressed during an argument or disagreement that could be labeled as being disrespectful, demanding, or other forms of destructive behavior. Certain behaviors may trigger a negative response adding fuel to one's anger. Anger issues may continue because the focus on the issue isn't where it should be or has yet to be confronted. Talking with a couple's counselor about anger issues may help focus on the cause of anger and how couples can work productively together to manage it.
It is common for partners to deal with mishaps that lead to emotional distress. A partner may get frustrated when they feel attacked or ignored. Sometimes anxiety is a contributing factor when one hasn't learned how to express their emotions in a way that doesn't hurt or offend others. To gain perspective of how anger issues affect relationships, here are signs to consider you may not know about.
Unaddressed anger may lead to a dangerous scenario or become a destructive force in a relationship. When emotions are not expressed and validated, anger becomes a severe issue, problems that need solutions won't get the attention they deserve - unhealthy behaviors such as hateful attitudes and forms of abuse result when relational issues go unresolved.
Each partner has to own up to their actions. Sometimes a partner may resist anger by ignoring them, only to make things worse without realizing it. Each person has to understand when they get angry; there are ways to express it while still communicating their thoughts. Doing this helps control anger while distinguishing the differences of an expression of anger vs. a symptom of anger.
A partner may have feelings hidden underneath their anger; they may not understand or recognize them because of their outburst or aggression. Each partner should learn how to articulate emotions that trigger their anger. Each partner should also understand if their feelings get dismissed, it may lead to emotional outbursts. Here are tips to consider when assessing ways to manage your anger or signs of disrespect in a relationship.
It is natural to feel angry with reason, but it is important to learn how to accept it when it occurs in the relationship. A healthy relationship exercises coping skills that keep anger from becoming destructive. There are ways to learn how to express, hear, and respond to anger to understand the cause and work toward reestablishing an emotional bond and trust both partners deserve.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Anger has the potential to ruin a relationship if it is not kept under control. A cycle of anger can lead to resentment, and it can also escalate to the point of abuse. Although anger is unavoidable, it’s necessary to learn how to handle that anger more constructively and healthily, not negatively to impact your romantic relationship.
If you struggle to handle your anger, find a therapist who can help you work through your angry feelings and healthily express your anger. There are many anger management techniques that you can learn through counseling, and it is even effective online if you prefer not to attend sessions in person.
If your partner is abusive or you fear for your safety, don’t hesitate to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233). The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you decide what steps to take to escape the cycle of anger.
The uncontrolled daily anger and destructive tendencies in a relationship aren’t healthy. To stop these constant angry feelings, first, remember to think before you speak and react. Focus on yourself rather than your partner. Take a deep breath and consider what you are about to say or do. Next, state your concerns clearly, using “I” statements rather than placing blame. Use humor to lighten the situation if possible, and take a break from the conversation if it’s getting too heated. It would help if you were also sure to regularly engage in stress-relieving activities, such as exercise and self-care.
It’s recommended that you find a therapist or start attending marriage counseling if your adult relationships have been negatively affected by the cycle of anger. A professional can help with many types of individual issues as well as relationship-related problems. If your anger stems from another ailment, such as chronic pain, be sure to see a doctor learn about how you can treat the root of the problem.
If you feel unsafe in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233). You can also chat with the National Domestic Violence Hotline online if you prefer not to call.
The truth is that it’s impossible to experience anger unless you care about something; otherwise, there’s nothing to be angry about. Therefore, love and anger are intertwined. However, uncontrolled anger can quickly become a problem in a relationship if it is not addressed. Be sure to get the help you need in learning how to handle your anger more constructively. You may want to find a therapist who can help you work through your struggles with anger and the negative effects it has had on your adult relationships.
If your partner’s anger scares you or has escalated to abuse, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website for additional support.
Anger is a natural emotion, so it’s normal to feel some degree of anger in a relationship. The trouble starts when you handle that anger in unhealthy ways that can be hurtful to your partner. Anger is a sign that you’re feeling a sense of injustice, so it can help show you where things are unfair. What you do with that anger determines whether it’s healthy or unhealthy. The behaviors you engage in and things you say when you’re feeling angry can either help your relationship grow and evolve, or they can lead to resentment and even destroy your relationship completely.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) if you feel unsafe in your relationship. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is familiar with the struggles that commonly occur in adult relationships. They help many people every day, and some even credit the hotline for “saving my life.”
If you’ve started spending much more time with friends and family than your partner (or vice versa), this could be a sign that you’re no longer willing to put effort into your adult relationships. If you no longer feel an emotional connection to your partner, aren’t interested in intimacy with them, constantly get into conflict, you don’t trust your partner, or your goals don’t align, those are all signs that your relationship may be over.
If you feel unsafe or scared in your adult relationships, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233). You can also go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website and chat with a live representative.