"Am I Too Cute?" Sexy Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship
Feeling cute in childhood is often wonderful: if a child feels cute, they might enjoy putting on twirly dresses and spinning around. If a child feels cute, they may stomp happily amongst trucks and dinosaurs, blissfully pretending to be a monster causing mayhem. As you grow, though, the term "cute" usually grows increasingly frustrating and no longer inspires joyful play. Being called cute often feels like something of a slap in the face, especially in adulthood, as it persistently conjures images of youth, perhaps some naiveté, and innocence. While this can be nice when talking to your grandparents, most adults do not want to be told they are cute and instead prefer more aggrandizing adjectives.
The word "cute" is usually used to denote a person or thing that elicits feelings of admiration, adoration, or affection. Although it is not a negative quality, per se, it can feel rude or insensitive to call someone cute who does not wish to be seen as young, inexperienced, or otherwise worthy of being admired or adored. Cute typically precludes passion, sex, or fire and instead suggests comfort and safety. Relationships need comfort and safety, but they need a little bit of passion and fire, as well.
Cute is not negative in and of itself; one study found that something being cute actually triggered such overwhelming positive responses that people grow overwhelmed and feel like they cannot handle it. This alone could be why some people do not equate "cute" with "sexy"; the very act of being cute inspires joy and a sense of peace, rather than inspiring excitement and a little bit of fear.
Cute and sexy: A comparison
Being cute can refer to physical characteristics, such as large eyes, a full face, or a wide smile but can also refer to mental characteristics or mannerisms. A cute person is likely to be someone who does or says things that are endearing, sweet, or kind. Typically, cute people speak in a way that inspires love or affection, whether through the way they speak (a soft voice and unique affectations) or the things they say. A cute person might find small, unique things to get excited about or feel passion for. There is no single definition of cute; different people find different characteristics, mannerisms, and behaviors worthy of the word.
Sexy will differ from person to person, but some characteristics are typically associated with being sexy. Confidence is one of the most significant traits that is usually considered sexy; confident men and women are more attractive, largely because they are unafraid and open to new things. Self-awareness and devotion to oneself are also seen as sources of sex appeal, and they also yield wonderful results for the person, themselves, and their partner.
Spicing up your relationship
Spicing up your relationship is not a recipe for lasting relationship happiness, but it can help a relationship that has grown stagnant or stale. When spicing up a relationship, the most common thread is a novelty: trying new things, engaging in new behaviors, or recalling long-forgotten habits can all assist you and your partner in engaging with one another in exciting, fresh ways and bringing a spark back to your relationship.
Spicing up: Sex
When couples first begin talking about spicing up their sex life, there is usually a rote list of possibilities to try: toys, joint pornographic viewing, or a new position. Although these may prove helpful for some couples, they can also grow stale or invite further or different relationship issues. When you want to spice up the bedroom or sex life, one of the most important things to implement is improved openness and honesty. If something you have wanted to try but feared rejection, bringing it to light can help spice up your relationship.
Speaking with a therapist might seem like something drab or distinctly non-sexual, but meeting with a sex therapist can actually be a wonderful way to keep your sexual relationship alive and well. Sex therapists are often great sources for improving communication, easing sexual trauma between partners, and providing avenues toward improving a sexual relationship.
Spicing up your sex life usually involves improving your connection. Few couples who are truly connecting complain about lackluster or unsatisfying sex. One of the simplest and most effective ways to improve connection is to touch. Kissing, holding hands, lying naked together-all of these can have a powerful, positive effect on your intimacy and love life.
Spicing up: Day-to-day
Make a point of touching your partner in non-sexual ways. Although sex is a wonderful way to bring more spice spark into a relationship, sexuality and sensuality require far more than just a quick romp. Expressing sexuality and sensuality in your day-to-day life can look different for everyone. Eating rich meals together, where you can both focus on the pleasure you are experiencing or taking time to dance to a song you really love, can be valuable, useful ways to demonstrate your vitality.
Trying new things as a whole is a wonderful way to spice up your day-to-day routine. New things do not have to be big, dramatic, or expensive; scheduling a date night can be a way to try something new and choose a new meal to eat at one dinner each week. Trying one new local activity per month is also a simple yet unique way to bring some novelty into your relationship and provides the added benefit of stimulating your local economy and growing stronger roots in your town or city.
Spicing up: Communication
Although lying is never a healthy thing for a relationship, not divulging every single aspect of you and your life can be. Work information, for instance, can stay with treasured coworkers for a time, and family matters can stay with your family. Again, this does not have to be (and should not be) a permanent ban but can be useful over a short period of time.
When you and your partner were first starting, how often did you laugh and play together? At the beginning of relationships, most couples find laughter to be a constant companion and an important determinant in whether they felt close and "plugged in" to one another. Recalling the times that you laughed together can actually be as important as creating new memories.
Can you be cute and sexy?
Although the two traits are usually seen as mutually exclusive, it is possible to be both cute and sexy-sometimes simultaneously and sometimes in varying levels and degrees over time. Whether your partner more frequently calls you cute or dubs you sexy, your relationship's goal is to keep the love alive and well-fed, which can be achieved with both cute traits and sexy traits. Spicing up your relationship is far less about being overtly sexual and far more about connecting with your partner, improving your communication habits, and cultivating a strong sense of companionship, safety, and openness.
Whether you are a part of a couple or a part of a marriage, relationships do take hard work. While much of this work might center around seemingly boring or mundane things, keeping the spice in your relationship alive is actually one of the most important parts of this work. It should include all aspects of your life, including your daily routines, your sexual habits, and your communication habits. Just as your partner can be a source of immense pleasure and immense comfort, you, yourself, can be both an acute human being and a sexy one.
Ways to spice up your relationship
Spicing up your relationship might at first seem daunting but accepting yourself is one of the first steps in making sure that you and your partner are engaged in the strongest, healthiest, and sexiest relationship possible. For some, this is a matter of practicing better engagement with one another, while for others, this requires some inner work to accomplish. A therapist-or even a team of therapists-might be involved for you on your own or for you and your partner as a unit to make sure that the two of you are well-equipped to embark on putting your relationship first and creating a strong and healthy partnership.
Takeaway
Getting lost in routine-whether that is routine in your day-to-day, your communication habits, or your sex life-can spell trouble for your relationship. Being cute is an innate part of who you are and is not too much; instead, it is likely one of the reasons your partner fell in love with you. If you self-identify as cute or have frequently been labeled as such, your relationship does not have to suffer; cuteness is neither a roadblock to being sexy, nor is it an indication of marital dissatisfaction.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can you be too cute?
Those who often receive the word “cute” as a compliment, especially from an intimate partner, can feel frustrating and cause you to wonder if it’s the only way that others perceive you. To many people, there is a distinct difference between words like “cute” and “sexy” or “beautiful,” but to others, there may not be.
If you’re concerned about feeling too cute or that you can only be cute, it may be helpful to have an open discussion about it with your partner. Expressing how you feel when you hear these words can help your partner or others understand how to support better and compliment you. In fact, your partner might not even realize that they’re doing anything hurtful. Some people might enjoy being called cute, while others could prefer a differently worded compliment.
What does too cute mean?
Being called “too cute” could mean exactly what the words imply: something is very cute, to the point that it’s almost overwhelming or too much to handle. Sometimes “too” as a modifier means “very,” like thinking a comedian’s jokes are so hilarious they are “just too funny.” This sort of phrase is often used casually among friends, loved ones, and partners, but it can feel like a backhanded compliment or sarcasm for some.
Skin makeup and hair and clothes are ways we express ourselves, but others can be perceived differently. For some people, words like “cute” and “adorable” can make them feel uncomfortable. Someone who feels like they’re only “cute” rather than “sexy” may have difficulty with self-confidence during sex and their relationship.
If you’d like to strengthen your sexual connection with your partner, feel more sexually attractive, and spice up your relationship as a whole, there are ways to do so. However, the likely first step to help you spice up your relationship is an important one: communicate with your partner.
Whether you’re looking to spice up your sex life or your relationship, communication is key. For one thing, your partner may need you to communicate that you feel these things are lacking in the first place. The more you communicate honestly with your partner, the more conflicts and challenges you can tackle. Ensure everyone is comfortable before taking anything to the next level.
If you still are unsure how to spice up your relationship after talking it through with your partner, you might find it helpful to visit a relationship and sex educator, a counselor, or another similar professional. A sex educator or relationship counselor can help you better understand your own sexual preferences, any issues that might exist, and how to overcome them. If you are not comfortable going to a personal sex therapist, you could research many valid online resources. Radio shows like Sex With Emily or online blogs and articles can spark ideas for your own relationship.
What do you say when something is too cute?
If you feel like something is too cute, how you express it really depends on the subject. If you’re thinking about your partner, rather than a fluffy baby animal, there may be better words to help voice and understand your feelings, especially if your partner has expressed displeasure with a word like cute. Adorable or charming might be more appropriate for a friend’s baby, while gorgeous or attractive could be more appropriate for a romantic partner who is too cute.
If you feel like your relationship is lacking, or you’d like to spice up your sex life with your partner, some simple steps can steer you in the right direction. Here are some tips on how to spice up your relationship that may be helpful:
- If your sex life feels flat or you want to try and get back to great sex, try introducing something new, like a sex toy. Sex toys come in all different shapes and sizes, and they may have different purposes, so browse around to ensure you find a sex toy that works for you and your partner. Consider discussing introducing a sex toy with your partner before buying one
- Try new things together, both in bed and outside of the bedroom
- Practice self-care physically and mentally
- Appreciate your partner and examine your emotional satisfaction with your relationship
Is cute aggression bad?
Cute aggression refers to the feeling we get when we view something cute. When our brains see something we perceive as cute, we sometimes feel a somewhat contradictory urge to be aggressive toward it in some way: biting, squeezing, or whatever the case may be. It’s an unusual phenomenon and one that science is still coming to understand fully. It is not bad or good, just an urge that should be controlled with fragile little things, like babies.
Finding something or someone cute isn’t inherently a bad thing, but in intimate relationships, sometimes we may fear that words like “cute” mean that we aren’t attractive to partners. If you feel like your relationship has become lackluster and wonder how to spice up your relationship, you’re not alone.
Here are some tips to possibly spice up your relationship:
- Try new things together, in and out of the bedroom; it could be a fun cooking class, a new sex toy, or whatever feels right
- Communicate openly about how you feel to your partner
- Practice self-care; find ways to feel beautiful in your skin
Some romantic inclinations that may seem aggressive at first can feel more natural as we age and get more comfortable in our relationships. Relationships change, and so do the ways we express ourselves. A change in your relationship or sex life, especially over a long period of time, isn’t necessarily a cause for alarm. It can be challenging to lack a sexual connection or feel like you aren’t sexually appealing to your partner.
What emotion is cute?
Different emotional responses and behaviors might be perceived as cute by others. For example, happiness, giddiness, excitement, laughter, and other similar behaviors and emotions may be perceived as cute or attractive; they also might be the way you feel after witnessing something you find cute.
These sorts of emotions are great during the day, but feeling like you’re not attractive can be problematic when it comes to an intimate relationship. It may lead you to wonder how to spice up your relationship or keep things exciting. If you’re wondering how to spice up your relationship (whether it be in terms of communication or your sex life [maybe try out a sex toy]), it’s a good idea first to communicate how you feel partner facilitate an honest discussion about the topic.
Here are some tips to spice up your relationship and keep things interesting:
- Try new things together both in and outside the bedroom. Trying a new hobby can spice up your sex life by introducing new elements, like sex toys.
- Embrace some spontaneity; go to new places, try new foods, and do things that make you happy even if they’re outside your comfort zone; consider trying a sexual fantasy or going on a trip that the two of you frequently talk about
- Surprise your partner, even if it’s just in little ways
- Put in special efforts or do things that you know your partner likes: skin makeup, hair, outfits, etc.
If you’re wondering how to spice up your relationship, feel more sexually attractive, or otherwise improve your relationship, you aren’t alone. There’s more to relationships than sexual attraction and great sex, and sometimes improving other areas of our lives naturally improves the relationship as well. Cute and sexy are not necessarily mutually exclusive, so talk to your partner if their compliments bother you, and you may find reassurance anyway.
How do I know if I am cute?
Why do people call me cute?
What age is cutest?
What makes a girl look cute?
Is it OK to call a woman cute?
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