All Guys Need To Read This When She Pulls Away From Your Relationship

Updated March 12, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

It’s not a fun feeling when you notice that your partner is pulling away from you. It’s especially difficult when you aren’t sure why. Every relationship is different, and there will be ups and downs no matter how healthy the relationship is, but that doesn’t mean your stomach won’t drop when things get tough. The only logical step is to try to figure out why they are pulling away. You should ask your partner directly and have an honest talk about both of your feelings. It will be an emotional conversation, most likely, and it will take some effort. But if you don’t talk about how you’re feeling and give your partner a chance to explain, all you will be left with is a guess. The reasons women pull away vary, and you won’t know for sure until you talk.

There are many reasons women pull away. It could have everything to do with them, or about your relationship, or their feelings for you. It’s hard not to know which, especially if you are willing to change to keep them in your life. Take a look at some of these reasons women pull away and use them as a starting point to talk with your partner. Because you can speculate all you want, but you won’t know the truth until you ask.

Fear of intimacy

Reasons women pull away include having fears of intimacy. If you’ve been getting pretty close lately only to have them pull away, this might seem like a possibility to you. Things like childhood trauma, previous relationships, and inner demons can make it hard for some people to open up and let another person into their life, especially if they have not worked through these problems with an online therapist. These are all potential reasons women pull away. They might be fine at the beginning of a relationship when you’re still getting to know each other and learning the surface level things you tend to ask about, but once all of the small talks is gone, and the relationship feels solid, that’s when real work begins. If your partner fears intimacy in some way, they may not want to dig deeper with you. When women pull away they can keep things at surface level and not have to open up their heart too much. When you talk with your partner, let them know that they can trust you with their feelings. Words might not mean much at first, but you can earn their trust by showing up again and again.

Relationship anxiety

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Pulling away could also be a sign of relationship anxiety. When starting a new relationship it’s hard for these people to open up and commit to another person. You might interpret this as them pulling away since they don’t initiate a deeper commitment with you. But it really could be that they have some apprehension about being in a relationship in the first place. This is apparently true for a lot of insecure women or men. They may search for reasons to distrust you or the relationship. This has nothing to do with you, and so you will need to listen to them and help them however you can.

Relationship anxiety can manifest in overthinking things about the relationship, which can be hard for you as well as your partner. When one person overthinks, it can make the other feel as if they aren’t trusted or wanted. You will do yourself a huge favor by accepting that relationship anxiety is about fear and what-ifs, which don’t have anything to do with your true character or how they feel about you. Talking out both of your fears will help you feel closer together as a couple. While relationship anxieties can be reasons women pull away, it is possible to soothe these anxieties to build a stronger bond.

You’re too clingy

There are some things that you can do, though, that might push your partner away. One of these is being a clingy partner. If you tend to overwhelm them with communication or hate when they spend time with anyone that isn’t you, it shouldn’t be a surprise that your partner might slowly pull away from you. No one likes to feel like they are being controlled in any way. And though clinginess might come from a place of anxiety or basic need, it comes across as controlling and overwhelming.

These are reasons women pull away that you could find yourself without talking to your partner, if you did some self-reflection. But to do so you would need to confront some needs that might be pushing your partner away, which isn’t something that you will want to do subconsciously. You may be fighting against an inkling that tells you your clinginess is contributing to the problem. It’s hard to come to terms with the role we play in difficult situations. But the sooner we realize what we need to do, the sooner we can implement steps to make things better.

You’re not taking the relationship seriously

Your partner could be pulling away if they think you aren’t taking the relationship seriously. Have you been fighting a lot recently? Do you make time for your partner? Relationships take work and sacrifice, and if you aren’t holding up your end of the deal then it’s possible that your partner feels like you pulled away from them.

So, their response is to pull away from you in return. The only real way to know if that’s the case is actually to talk with your partner. If you haven’t had a lot of time for them lately, maybe you’ve been busy with important things. Maybe they’re misinterpreting your actions as a sign of your lack of commitment. Or maybe they are spot on with their assumptions. Either way, the only response for you is to communicate clearly. Even if the right course of action is to break up after the talk, you are better off having that conversation now instead of dragging things out.

She’s thinking about ending the relationship

When women pull away, you have to admit to the possibility that they are thinking of ending the relationship. Whether it’s because of the reasons above or for something else, there may come a time where you have to respect their decision. Ending a relationship is hard and can be emotionally devastating for both you and your partner. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do, though. If your partner is pulling away, they may be trying to make it easier for when things end. If you see each other less and less, it might make more sense when you two finally end things.

What to do when she pulls away

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Ultimately, you have to listen to whatever it is that your partner tells you when you talk to them about why they are pulling away. Maybe there are things you can do to strengthen your relationship. But maybe things are meant to end. Either way, you should respect your partner’s thoughts and feelings. By having an open and honest talk about what is going on, you can finally understand how your partner is feeling and why there has been a distance between you guys. In the meantime, allow them to have their space. Put more effort into the time you spend together. Remind your partner why it is that you are together. Those are the things that you can control and show focus on.

Relationships take work and commitment to thrive. Maybe that’s why we see a red flag go up when one partner starts to pull away. We don’t want to see a relationship end when we worked so hard to get to where we are. But space doesn’t always mean the relationship will end. When women pull away, it may just be a time in their life that they need space to navigate, or maybe you need to communicate to get yourselves back on good terms. Knowing that there is something you need to communicate on is the first step. What happens next will be up to the two of you to decide.

Because relationships take work, and sometimes it’s hard to communicate even with the best of intentions, couples’ therapy is a great tool to have in your arsenal. A licensed therapist can uncover the reasons men and women pull away in relationships. At Regain, couples and singles from all over can talk with a therapist online to work through their questions, their circumstances, and their needs. Regain is an online platform that matches therapists and couples together for a therapy that is right for them. It’s completely online and very , using a chat room to message your therapist in your own time without having to feel awkward or because you worry about being judged. Your messages aren’t read in real-time, so you do have the entire day to think about what you need to say.

The chatrooms are available for you and your partner to view together, but you can also sign up just yourself and add them in later when you feel more comfortable. In fact, you don’t even have to add them at all if you don’t want to. The therapy is there for you in whatever capacity you need it.

If you are interested in Regain, go to www.regain.us/start today to get more information and to fill out a survey that will assess your needs.

If your partner is pulling away, take a deep breath. You will be able to find out the reason, and then you’ll see it’s not the end of the world. Whatever happens, you can get through it. You have help.

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