10 Tips For Insecure Women To Overcome Their Insecurities

Updated April 10, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and confidence levels. Some women are comfortable with most aspects of their being, while others may experience various types of insecurity. Having insecurities is normal, but too many of them can get in the way of a healthy, happy life. It can be important to understand what insecurities are and why so many women have them. If you’re experiencing insecurities in your life, you may find that they’re holding you back from opportunities or affecting your relationships. However, there are ways to begin to overcome them, build self-confidence, and learn to fully love yourself. Within this article are 10 tips that may help you overcome any insecurities you might be struggling with.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
An online counselor can help you gain more confidence in yourself

Become your own best friend

Consider how you talk to yourself on a daily basis and then ask yourself if you’d talk to a best friend in the same way. Chances are you’re much harder on yourself than you need to be. A best friend assumes the best and keeps reminding you that you’re worthy. You can do the same for yourself. It may help to give yourself a pep talk before interviews, get-togethers, or any other situation that leaves you feeling insecure. By encouraging yourself and practicing self-love, you may find that you don’t need so much reassurance from others after all, but rather just from yourself.  

Don’t pass judgment

Insecurity may have you feeling down, and it likely doesn’t help to keep beating yourself up over the little things. It can be normal to set high expectations of yourself and to have lofty goals, but too much self-judgment can be destructive. We are often our own worst critics. Many of us are able to show compassion and kindness to others but struggle to do so for ourselves. Strive to treat yourself the way that you would others and take care of yourself. 

It may help to learn to accept your shortcomings and find ways to improve upon them. Sometimes, making small changes can help your insecurities fall by the wayside. Taking small steps to overcome your insecurities can be important, so be patient with your progress. Validate your successes along the way and treat yourself with the respect and grace you deserve. 

Eliminate people who don't add value to your life

Be aware of people who add to your insecurities. Some people you may believe are close friends may be toxic and can end up fueling your insecurities. If you have people in your life who put you down or consistently make you feel bad about yourself, you want to reassess those friendships or relationships. It can be important to surround yourself with others who want to see you do well and are there to support you for who you are.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Your attempt to overcome your insecurities will most likely not be an overnight success. It may take time and exercising patience can be crucial. It might help to do little things each day that boost your self-confidence. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time. If you experience difficulties with insecurities on a social level, striving to say hello to one new person each day can be a positive start. Over time, this may give you the confidence you need to move on to bigger milestones.

Be aware of your body language

Your body language can say a lot about what you are feeling. To exude confidence, it may help to practice open body language. Practice sitting up straight and standing tall as this not only exhibits confidence, but over time can actually raise your self-confidence as well. A strong physical presence can give your emotional and mental health the boost they need.

Additionally, making yourself smile when you’re feeling down or insecure can trick your brain into producing more feel-good chemicals, like dopamine. This can feel difficult and strange at first but try to make yourself smile for just ten seconds. If it continues to feel odd to you, you can stop or try again later in the day. One way to use this method to combat insecurity could be when you’re prepping for a job interview and find that your insecurities are rearing up. Look in the mirror, smile as much as you can, and take note of how your smile feels, and how it changes your appearance and demeanor. While doing this, encourage yourself with phrases like, “I am a professional,” “I deserve this,” “I can do this,” and so on.

Acknowledge your accomplishments

When you overcome any level of insecurity, acknowledge it as an accomplishment. Regardless of whether it was something like speaking in a crowd or wearing a swimsuit on the beach for the first time in years, recognize it as an accomplishment and celebrate appropriately. You can do this by simply saying your accomplishments out loud and verbalizing that you’re proud of yourself; you could also make a list so that you can visually see these accomplishments, which could prove particularly useful when you experience days of self-doubt and insecurity.

Practice gratitude 

When your insecurities run deep, you may fail to realize how great you truly are. It may help to maintain a list of compliments that you receive from other people, things that you truly like about yourself, or things that you’re grateful for. You can look back on these things during moments of self-doubt. Studies show that practicing gratitude can improve your mental health and promote mindfulness and positive thoughts. It can be helpful to see the good that others see in you, as it shows you that you truly are valuable. 

Make a list of all the things that make you uncomfortable

Write down a list of things about yourself that make you uncomfortable or that you’re insecure about. Once you write the list, try to determine why you’re so uncomfortable about those things specifically. You may discover that you’re making a bigger deal out of things that may not matter as much as you thought they did. Most importantly, after you've recognized what your insecurities are, commit to stop harboring these things or find ways to improve them. 

When making this list, note whether each insecurity is something that’s healthy or necessary to feel uncomfortable about. Does this discomfort help you in some way, or does it hold you back? Do you need to change what’s making you uncomfortable, or do you need to work through the discomfort itself? These can all be important and helpful things to ask yourself.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh

Do something different each day

If you are insecure, you may fear trying new things outside of your comfort zone. One way to overcome this is by trying each day to do something new that you haven’t done before. Maybe there’s a hobby you’ve been wanting to try, someone you’ve been wanting to ask out on a date, or a career you’ve been desiring to pursue. Consider facing your fears head-on, even if they aren’t big ones. Your determination to face at least one of your fears can be just one step toward overcoming your insecurities over time.

Accept your flaws

It can be important to understand that your flaws can comprise a part of your natural beauty. Your flaws are often a big part of what makes you unique, and unlike anyone else. No one is perfect and realizing this can help you avoid shielding your flaws. Your flaws don’t define you, and sometimes, they just might be what someone loves about you. Try not to look at them as defects, but as opportunities for growth, improvement, and self-love.

What’s more is that what we perceive as a flaw is likely not perceived as such by others. For example, a particular scar that is visible to others likely just indicates an interesting story; a slight stutter when nervous could be endearing to others; and being prone to anxiety is something common that those who are in your corner can understand and patiently help you work through.

Getty/Sarah Waiswa
An online counselor can help you gain more confidence in yourself

Online counseling with Regain

If you’ve been self-conscious about something for a while, it can be difficult to try to adopt a new mindset and see yourself in a more positive light. This can be true of insecurities, which may be challenging to overcome on your own. Regain is an online counseling platform that can match you with a therapist who specializes in the area you’re struggling in. Whether you need more confidence at work, don’t like the way you look, or are fearful about meeting new people or entering the dating scene, a therapist can help you work through each of these issues. If you’ve never been to therapy before, you might feel insecure about the process. Since you can access online therapy through phone calls, video chats, and in-app messaging, it may make it easier to pursue the help you need.

The efficacy of online counseling 

Those who are feeling insecure may be struggling with low self-esteem. If you’re wanting to improve your self-esteem, online therapy could be beneficial. In one study, researchers found that an online therapy intervention successfully reduced the global severity of psychiatric symptoms. It also led to an increase in participants’ self-esteem and helped them feel less lonely. Symptoms of anxiety, depression, social phobia, and avoidance also decreased, which allowed participants to experience a greater quality of life. 


Whether it’s something physical, intellectual, or otherwise, having at least one insecurity can be normal. Sometimes, you may find that your insecurities get in your way and prevent you from living life to the fullest. Overcoming your self-doubt is possible with the right tools, encouragement, and support system. You are not alone on this journey, and a licensed online therapist could provide you with the guidance you need to move forward. Regain can equip you with a therapist who has experience in a variety of areas including self-esteem, confidence, and social skills. Over time, you can learn how to become the healthiest version of yourself and live a life that isn’t defined by insecurity. 

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