4 Reasons Why Gaining Confidence Can Be Important
Marie Curie once said, "Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained." In life, you may find that you need a sense of confidence to accomplish and attain the things that you want. If you have low confidence, you aren’t alone; low self-esteem and confidence can be a common sign of mental health concerns, or simply due to life experiences. But believing you have the ability to become more confident can be a key part of changing your life for the better, no matter your goals. Fortunately, there are many steps you can take to gain confidence and grow into the person you’d like to be.
Why Gaining Confidence Can Be Important
1. Confidence Can Impact How You Feel About Yourself
Without confidence, you may be more likely look to other people for approval and motivation. This might not seem like a big deal, but it can lead to many problems down the road. When you allow others to dictate how you feel about yourself, it may not be long before you begin to lose the real you.
You may slowly start to become more and more like the people that you look to for approval. This could be certain family members, such as a parent, a group of friends, or even your spouse. Low confidence can lead you to constantly search for ways to feel "good enough" and strive to attain a standard that might not be authentic to you.
When your confidence depends on what other people think of you, you can compromise beliefs and morals to feel better about yourself. You might also feel unable to celebrate your successes or take pride in who you are unless others do, too, which can be a vicious cycle of pushing yourself and disappointment.
Overall, a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem can lead to consequences like substance use disorders and other mental health challenges. Low confidence can make it easy to lose yourself and what's important to you.
2. Confidence Can Help You Have Healthier Relationships
Whether intentional or not, low confidence can lead many people to form potentially unhealthy relationships. Those without much confidence may be more likely to spend time with others who don’t treat them the way they deserve. It’s also possible to exhibit some unhealthy traits yourself, even if you don’t mean to.
A person with low confidence may, for instance, constantly fear that their partner is cheating on them due to their own worries about not being good enough. This can create strain and conflict in the relationship on both ends; one partner might feel like they’re being attacked while the other may really be in need of validation.
3. Confidence Can Help You Accomplish Your Goals
When you have confidence in yourself, it can help you go after the goals you have set for your life. Even if something is hard and you aren't sure exactly how you'll be able to do it, you may be more likely to believe that you have a chance of succeeding at it.
However, if you don’t have the best confidence, you may find it difficult to dream or set goals for your life at all. You might believe that you're not capable of doing the things that you want to do and write them off as impossible.
You may, for instance, constantly compare yourself to others and often think that you don’t measure up. While it may seem like you’re protecting yourself from failure by downplaying your abilities, you may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy when you tell yourself you're not "smart enough," "talented enough," or "good enough" to succeed at what you want to do.
4. Confidence Can Help You Overcome Difficult Times
Life can be difficult sometimes, no matter who you are. When you have low confidence, these difficult times can leave you feeling like you're alone and there's nothing you can do to improve your situation.
But when you have confidence, you may be more likely to bounce back from and feel empowered by challenges in life. When the difficult times come, they may still feel bad, but you may feel more able to prevent them from taking over. You might be more likely to look for options to improve your situation and what steps you should take next.
How to Build Confidence
No matter why your confidence may be lacking, it can be possible to turn things around. Gaining confidence can be something that anyone can do. It's not necessarily true that some people are born with confidence and others aren't. Some people might have had a head start, but you can learn how to improve your confidence and experience all the benefits that come along with it. Below are some things you can do to gain confidence.
Track Your Successes
If you have low confidence, it can be tough to spot the success that you have in your life. In fact, you may feel that you aren't successful at anything. But you certainly can be and likely already are. Learning how to recognize the areas that you're succeeding in can help you slowly but surely build your confidence.
Start by looking for the small areas that you succeed in daily. This could be making your bed in the morning, packing lunch for your kids, or making it work on time. Allow yourself to feel good about the areas you do well in, no matter how small they are. As you get in the habit of recognizing and celebrating your small successes, it may get easier to spot more of them.
Spend Time With People That Like You For You
Reduce the amount of time you spend with people who are around you for the wrong reasons, like hanging out with you because you will do anything they want. Work on building friendships with people that like the real you. Then, spend more time with those people. You may start to rediscover who you are and the things that you like on your own.
Try New Things
It can feel scary to try new things, but it can also be a great way to build confidence. As you take on and learn new tasks, you can learn to feel good about the steps you’re taking toward a fuller version of yourself. And, as you improve at that task, your confidence may begin to grow.
Talk To A Counselor
Recovering from low self-esteem and building confidence may not always be an easy task, especially if you have experienced low confidence for years. Talking to a counselor can help you learn where your challenges with low confidence may be coming from so you can overcome and move on from it.
Therapists can also use different therapy forms like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to learn how to build your confidence. Some of these therapies may include teaching you how to recognize the negative self-talk that you have. When you learn how to identify these negative thoughts about yourself, you can learn how to start replacing them with thoughts that can help build your confidence.
To make it even easier to access the support you may need, you might want to consider speaking with an online therapist. Pursuing therapy through the web can allow you to join sessions from home, work, your car, or anywhere else you can find an internet connection. That means you can attend therapy from a location and time that fits with your schedule and needs.
Plus, online therapy may be a more approachable way to get started with professional support. Research suggests that many people who pursue online therapy options feel more able to connect with their therapist over online mediums, perhaps because of the distance a web-based platform can create.
Experiencing low confidence can be common, but it can also have noticeable effects on the way you live, form relationships, and think about yourself. By taking steps to slowly improve your relationship with yourself and learn to reframe your thoughts, you can boost your confidence now and in the future.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Can I Be Bold And Confident?
One essential thing to note may be that most people working toward a higher level of confidence often develop it gradually. Here are some tips for becoming bolder and more confident over time:
- Use positive self-talk. Engaging in self-talk can be an important skill for many reasons, and it can also help you with confidence. Speak to yourself positively, and when something stifles your confidence, use self-talk to work through it. An example of self-talk might be saying, “I am confident” or “I am qualified for this position” to yourself, whether that’s in your head or front of the mirror. It’s about whatever works for you.
- Work on your sense of self. You may want to solidify who you are fundamentally and in action so that you can be confident in who that is. Knowing yourself can help you navigate life more assuredly, and if people try to tell you who you are in a way that’s negative or untrue, you can learn to combat that more efficiently.
- Challenge your negative thoughts. If you have automatic negative thoughts, such as, “I’m ugly” or “no one likes me,” it may help to work on learning to challenge and reframe them.
- Be willing to look at your actions and statements objectively. Are you the person you want to be? If not, part of your journey toward confidence might be modifying certain behaviors. For example, some people who experience challenges with confidence may take it out on others by bashing them or lashing out. If that’s you, look at that objectively. You’re not necessarily a bad person for your past, but you can change it now.
How Can I Be Confident Alone?
If you find it difficult to feel confident when you’re navigating the world by yourself, there are a couple of things you may want to keep in mind:
- Practice is often what creates progress. To do it, you have to do it, for lack of better words. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but being alone shouldn’t have to stop you from doing what you want to do. If it helps, you may want to start small. For example, if you never order food alone and feel like you can’t, you might start by ordering takeout and picking it up on your own, or you might hang out in a coffee shop alone as opposed to starting with a sit-down restaurant.
- Remind yourself why you want to feel confident alone. Remembering how it can benefit you or thinking of what it might allow you to do can be beneficial, and it might just be at your push to give it a go and try something new.
- Remember that it’s highly likely no one notices as much as you think they do. If they do notice that you’re alone, they probably don’t think much of it.
How Can I Stop Being So Shy?
First, identify where your shyness comes from. Are you worried about what other people will think of you? Do you think they’re judging you? Is it a matter of shyness, or have your social encounters been awkward and full of misunderstandings in the past? If you can identify the source of shyness, you can begin to work through it. Another thing that can help is to think about your strengths. If you know your positive qualities and strengths, you can be confident in those things, and it can help you in all areas of life.
Is Being Shy Attractive?
Shyness can be seen as attractive, but it likely comes down to individual preferences. Shyness can be thought of as being generally quiet, whether due to a lack of confidence or a simple difference in personality. Some people may view this as an incredibly attractive trait, and others may not.
Does Shyness Go Away?
Shyness can go away, but it often requires work. Whether you’re shy as a child or an adult, it can be something that you can work on, if you choose to. If you’re experiencing shyness or low confidence, a counselor or therapist can help you get to where you want to be.
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