12 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends
Updated October 21, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault
Let's say that you've known someone for a while, but lately, you notice that your relationship is veering into something more. It could be that you're close friends or even best friends, and changes are occurring in the way you interact with one another. Your friendly feelings are developing into something more, and that's a good sign he's into you. Maybe, you hold each other's gaze for longer than you used to, or maybe, conversations that used to be friendly are bordering on flirty.
Another possibility is that you met someone recently and wondered if they like you as more than a friend. Sometimes, it's hard to differentiate subtle cues of romantic interest from friendliness or a bubbly, friendly personality. As a result, you experience genuine confusion as to if someone's into you or not. Other times, you want to know if someone likes you before you make a move or take things forward.
It could be an office buddy or a male friend you recently started getting close to. It is mostly believed that due to societal standards, guys don't display emotions as much as the female gender- most men tend to suppress their emotions and feelings- and this makes it hard to decipher if a guy likes you. Maybe you like him and are interested in dating him, but you are unsure if the feeling is mutual. And if you are the shy type, you may be too embarrassed to talk to your female friends about it as you do not want them to make a fuss over the issue; of course, approaching him to ask directly isn't an option.
At one point or the other, every girl gets to that place where she wonders about a male friend – "Does he like me or not?" No one wants to be left in the dark or spend too much time wondering. The good news is that it's possible to clarify the situation so that you don't have to wonder anymore. Look out for these signs; he likes you as more than a friend to be sure to know where the relationship and friendship are heading. Here are some of the biggest signs a guy is interested in you romantically and the signs he doesn't want to be just friends.
12 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends
1. He Remembers The Details Of What You Tell Him. Men, and people in general, are not always good listeners. According to research, men, in particular, are not all too good at remembering details. Studies show that men only use one side of their brain when listening, while women use both sides. When men listen, they process language using the brain's left hemisphere while women process language through both the right and left hemispheres. Since emotions are processed primarily in the right hemisphere and language in the left, men also have difficulty connecting words to feelings as easily or effectively as women. But, when a guy likes you, he'll seem more engaged in what you're saying, often maintaining eye contact and open body language while you speak. So, when he's listening actively, he's telling you that he's a man who likes you. Furthermore, men are problem solvers and are quick in decision-making. They want nothing more than to fix a situation and get it over and done. At the same time, women take the time to listen and process information carefully, mentally storing details for future reference. So, men are also conditioned to listen actively. When a woman initiates a conversation, the man automatically assumes she is seeking his advice or assistance-something that he can solve for her. Some say that men do not remember details because they're wired to be the protector and provider. They look at things as the big picture, while women are experts and remember everything from anniversary dates and birthdays to details of a weekend away. Every word said in an argument five years prior. So, if you find that your guy friend is patiently listening and remembering the details of what you said, there's a good chance he's into you more than just a friend. When a male friend doesn't just listen to you to give a reply but is actively listening to you with care and attention; or he remembers details of things you have discussed with him previously, or he asks you deeper questions about something you shared with him, then this is an obvious sign that he cares about you. If he remembers the littlest details- your birthday (that's not so little, right?), your favorite color, your best friend's name, even your dog's favorite food, and every single thing about you, he is definitely into you.
2. The Way He Talks To You Differs From The Way He Talks To Other People. Pay attention to how he talks to other people in comparison to how he talks with you. Are his mannerisms the same when he talks to his friends and other women, or are they more flirtatious with you? A guy who likes you will use more flirtatious language, but only with you. Does he seem more excited to talk to you, ask you more questions, use a different tone of voice, or give you more physical cues? Do his eyes light up a bit more? If it's a guy who likes you at work, he might stray off-topic from work-related issues. When you compare and contrast his behavior with others and his behavior with you, especially if you're together with a group of people. He still engages with you more or treats you in a way that makes you feel special; it's a potential giveaway to the fact that he's into you and sees you as more than a friend. Another strong indicator would be complimented. If your male friend loves to shower you with compliments in the presence of others and when you are alone, this could be a great way to know he likes you. Compliments are a great way to gauge if a guy likes you and wants something deep with you. Does he compliment you on the littlest things you don't even pay much attention to or comment on unique tidbits about your personality? Or even notice subtle changes in your hairstyle or that you used a different makeup? This shows that he cares about your looks and likes you beyond just friendship.
3. His Body Language Gives It Away. In addition to physical touch itself, people use certain body language cues when they like someone. This body language serves as signs a guy likes you. If someone likes you, they're likely to have open posture when they're with you (for example, he may appear relaxed, comfortable, and attentive, with lowered or rested shoulders), gaze at you for longer than he looks at other people, whether it's from across the room or when you're looking at each other directly, or sit and stand closer to you than he would with others. He might even appear nervous or sweaty in your presence. His face may flush every so often. If you notice your male friend acts differently when you are around him- tries to act cool in front of you, is quieter, or acts sweetly whenever you are around, this may indicate that he wants you, as guys don't do that except they like you. If you like him back and want to get some extra information about what's going on or make a subtle flirt toward him, you might say sweetly and coyly, "are you blushing?" Pay attention to how he reacts to that question, and you might see a response that serves as a dead giveaway. That's why body language provides the top signs a guy is attracted to you romantically and wants to be more than just friends.
Also, when a man likes a woman, he may occasionally mirror her body language- i.e., hold eye contact, imitate her speech patterns or gestures. These signs a guy likes you are a bit easier to spot during a conversation. If your male friend does this, this is one of the subtle signs he likes you, respects and admires you, wants to gain mutual trust, and creates a connection with you. If he begins to use similar language to you, like shortened words or slang, or he imitates some of your mannerisms like using your hands or touching your hair when talking, he likes you. If you also notice that he 'accidentally' touches you now and then- not in a wrong or invasive manner, but playfully and decently- this is a very significant clue. Guys usually like to touch ladies they have a crush on, even in the slightest possible ways, just about anything that allows him to feel you. Another positive sign that a male friend likes you is if he smiles at you a lot. For example, if this guy is a shy person, but whenever he sees you, a smile lights upon his face or constantly maintains eye contact, this is to hint that he is into you and wants to be more than just a casual friend. Does he look away quickly when you catch him staring? Then he is probably interested in you but shy. If his eyes wander to your mouth when you are together, he likes you.
4. He Starts The Conversation. Does he reach out to you any time he can find a reason to do so? Perhaps, substantially more than you reach out to him? If so, this could be a sign that he either wants to be close to you or that he wants to be more than friends. It also shows that he thinks he can stand a chance with you as more than just friends. Maybe, he asks you questions that he doesn't need the answer to start a conversation, or he makes an effort to inquire about how your day is regularly going. He's excited to talk to you, and he'll take any chance he gets to do it! He makes use of calls and texts and might take the chance to wish you a good morning and a good night, even if it's just to open the conversation. If your guy friend started doing this out of nowhere, or if you meet someone new and they're always reaching out, it might be because there's a critical thought on his mind that he can't get the courage to verbalize, which would be that he likes you.
5. He Likes All Of Your Pictures. This might seem a little bit silly, but if he likes all of your pictures and posts on social media and you see other signs that he's interested, it could very well mean that he likes you as more than just a friend. Sure, friends like each other's Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook posts. They react to each other's Snapchats or public Instagram stories. However, if he likes every one of your pictures and heart-reacts to every Facebook post, you make even though you feel they make no sense to him, or if he frequently initiates chats and conversations, there could be something there.
6. When You're In A Room Full Of People, He Pays Attention To You The Most. Say that you're out with a group of mutual friends or that you're at a party, and he happens to be there. Although there are many other people to talk to, he chooses to turn your way. It might even seem as though you're the only two people there, despite being in a crowded or well-filled room because his eyes and his attention are on you and you alone. This might happen in more subtle ways as well. For example, even if he's engaging in the rest of the group, he might place extra focus on getting your opinion and asking you questions, may keep prolonged eye contact with you, or he might look at you more than he looks at other people who are around.
7. He Wants Alone Time With You. Despite the way this may sound, it isn't meant to be innuendo. The same way that he pays the most attention to you, even in a room full of other people, he seems to want to hang out with you one on one. He might ask you to come over for dinner, go hiking, a picnic on the beach, to go to a bar, an arcade, or an event with you alone, or to hang out and chill at his place – just the two of you. Some people like to hang out with people one-on-one because they have social anxiety or have deep conversations with one or two people. Still, if you typically see each other in groups and he wants to spend time with you one on one specifically, it's a good sign that he's into you and that your personality and your company appeal to him.
8. He's Tongue Tied. Even the most astute male communicator will flounder under your mere presence if he's really into you. What was once an effortless and smooth dialogue when he saw you as just a friend has now become a nervous search for the perfect words. A guy who likes you will want to choose the right words so that he might get a bit tongue-tied. Even if his words are shaky and he's a bit nervous, he'll likely make some effort to maintain eye contact. So, if you find him suddenly tripping up his words and tongue-tied, it could be a sign he wants to be more than friends.
9. His Reaction To Your Presence. One way to know for sure if your guy friend likes you is to watch how he reacts when you enter a room. If a guy likes you, you'll be able to tell from his body language when you're around him. A guy who likes you may begin to act a bit different around you, might stumble over his words, or even try to show off when you are around. Does his posture change, so he looks taller? Does he fix his hair or straighten his clothes? Does he try to keep consistent eye contact with you? Does he look down at his shoes to make sure they're tied? Does he tuck in his shirt to avoid appearing messy? A man who likes you at work might defer to you more in meetings or focus on you instead of the speaker. This is a subconscious reaction to your presence and is a sure sign that he's not only looking forward to seeing you but that he wants to look his best around you at all times and wants to impress you. This may also play out in terms of cracking jokes and throwing teases to see you laugh.
10. He Makes His Feelings Known: He asks you out! We're not talking about going out as buddies to the movies on a Sunday afternoon or going out with a group of friends for a barbeque. If a guy wants to be more than friends with you, he's going to want to be alone with you on a real date. It might not be the most expensive restaurant or the most extravagantly planned day, but it will be just you two, and it will be special. He'll know what you like (because he remembers the details), and he might plan the date around those interests.
11. He's Willing To Drop Everything For You. Indeed, a good friend is there for you when you're down, but a partner (or someone who wants to be your partner) will often react in a particular and more loving fashion when you're in need. Is he the first to ask, "Hey, are you okay?" or "do you want to talk?" when you're sad? Does he try to cheer you up when you're down and pay close attention when you talk about how you feel? Does he seem genuinely interested rather than dismissive? Does he rub your back or hold you when you're upset? If so, this tells you two things. First, it tells you that he truly cares about you. Second, it tells you that he's making an effort to show you that he'd be a supportive partner. Everyone shows that they like someone differently, depending on who they are and how eager they are to tell you how they feel. Still, at the very least, this tells you that he has regard for your emotions and wants to comfort you, which is an excellent thing to have from anyone in your life. If your male friend is always willing to help you out more than a friend would or helps you with your work, even if it is tedious work, he probably likes you and wants you to be more than a casual friend. If he usually finds any and every excuse to spend time with you, then there's something there. After all, will someone always crave avenues to spend so much time with another person if he doesn't like you? Of course not. You may also notice that he finds it hard to say goodbye to you after a conversation or meeting. You both may have spent the whole night talking about not-so-important things, yet it feels like the best conversation ever, and he doesn't even want to stop- of course, you don't too—# winks. You are most likely in his heart if he always wants to drop everything to spend a lot of time with you.
12. He Doesn't Mention Other Girls (And Doesn't Like It When You Talk About Other Guys). If a guy likes you, it makes sense that he wouldn't talk about other romantic interests around you. You're the one that's on his mind, and he wants you to know that he's available. Most guys check out countless numbers of girls every day. If you are not more than a friend, he won't even have a problem telling you that a girl he saw at the bus stop is hot. But if he likes you and wants something deep with you, you will be the center of his world and the only girl he has eyes for. Additionally, if you've ever brought up other romantic interests to him, he may have shown jealousy, disappointment, or sadness, though he may try to hide it; deep inside, many questions are popping up in his head. If you've ever mentioned feelings for someone else, or even if you've talked about missing an ex-partner, how did he react? Did his face fall a little bit? If so, that's a potential sign that he likes you – especially if he's flirty with you in any capacity. If he hasn't mentioned other girls and you haven't mentioned other guys to him, you can also look at if he's reciprocal when you flirt or not. If you're shy and haven't made a move yet, it might be tough to gauge how he feels for sure, but if you have tried your hand at flirting with him and he reciprocates, it's a sign that he likes you and wants to take things up a notch. Pay attention to his behavior when topics surrounding romance come up – that might be your greatest hint.
Much of the time, you'll notice several of the signs above if a person likes you. However, there are times when someone – especially if you're close friends – will try to hide their feelings not to ruin your friendship. Even when you have a hunch that someone likes you, it's natural to be nervous and to want as much clarity as possible. If you like him, pouring your heart out without knowing how he feels can be anxiety-inducing. If you're nervous and want a professional to talk things through with, or you need relationship advice or dating tips, you might consider seeking the help of mental health professional. Regardless of if you see someone online or in your local area, you deserve a safe, comfortable space to talk things through.
In summary, the biggest signs that your friend he's a guy who likes you involve his actions and body language and the things that he comes out and tells you. While just one of these telltale signs taken alone isn't the perfect indicator that he's romantically into you, it's hard to say "he's just a friend" when a lot of these signs are taken together.
Whether you have questions or concerns about friendships, relationships, or something else, the licensed mental health providers at ReGain are always available to those in need of help. We give relationship advice and dating tips to help you build, nurture, and enjoy your relationships. Know that you are not alone and that, at ReGain, we are here to help you work through anything that's on your mind. With ReGain, you can speak with a therapist or counselor whenever you need to from the privacy of your own home. With chat, text, phone, and video chat options, you can speak with a mental health professional in a way that is the most convenient for you and get the support you need.
You can contact ReGain for relationship advice and professional counseling. Get started by clicking here.
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