12 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends
Updated March 02, 2020
Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault
You've been friends for a long time. You have common interests, hang out with the same people, and go to the movies once in a while. You ask him advice, he gives it to you, and he never forgets your birthday. You've got tons of memories and inside jokes. He truly cares about you. He's a solid friend.
But lately, you've noticed a change in how he looks at you, that he texts more than usual, and he hugs you just a bit longer. Could it be that he still just wants to be friends, or does he want something more? Here's a list of some indications that he wants to take your friendship to the next level.
12 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends
1.He'll Do Anything for You. A man who wants more than friendship with you will go above and beyond when it comes to doing things for you. Anything from picking up your favorite Chinese dish, changing the oil in your car, pulling weeds, or taking you to the airport, before you can finish your sentence asking for his help, he's already on it. He wants to be of service to you, he wants to show you how important you are to him, and he wants to take care of you. He not only wants to do anything for you, but he's waiting for the opportunity to do so. He looks forward to the chance to be that knight in shining armor. Furthermore, everything he does for you will be of high quality. Nothing is done halfway or mediocre. Your lawn will be immaculate, and your car will be as clean as if it was brand new.
- He Initiates Contact. Let's be honest-men are not great with communication in the first place, let alone communicating on an emotional level. If he's a friend, he might stay in touch and hang out with you ever so often, but he isn't going to be the one always contacting you first. So if you find he's initiating contact with you and doing it consistently, he likely wants to be more than friends.
- He Compliments You - A Lot. You could be wearing an old pair of jeans, a plain tee shirt, and 2-year-old worn out sneakers, and he'll compliment you on your looks as if you're wearing the most beautiful outfit in the world. You could be the worst volleyball player, and yet he's not only impressed, but he's amazed by your skills. He compliments your intelligence no matter the level. You could have barely passed an exam and yet he'll praise you as if you're the top of the class. It's not about how the world sees your skills and looks; it's how he sees them. And because he's really into you, there's nothing you can say or do wrong.
- He Can't Keep His Hands Off You. When we say he can't keep his hands off you, we mean in a respectful, gentleman-like manner. For example, touching your shoulder while you two are laughing, touching your arm when he's telling you something. He'll want to hug you whenever he can find an excuse. He's attracted to you and wants to be physically close to you as much as he can.
- He Remembers The Details. Men, in general, are not good listeners, in general, and they're not good at remembering details. Studies show that men only use one side of their brain when listening, while women use both sides. When men listen, they process language using the left hemisphere of the brain while women process language through both the right and left hemispheres. Since emotions are processed primarily in the right hemisphere, and language in the left, men also have a difficult time connecting words to feelings as easily or effectively as women can.
Furthermore, men are problem solvers and are quick in decision making. They want nothing more than to fix a situation and get it over and done with, while women take the time to listen and process information carefully, mentally storing details for future reference. So it goes without saying that men are also conditioned to actively listen. When a woman initiates a conversation, the man automatically assumes she is seeking his advice or assistance-something that he can solve for her.
Men are not good at remembering details because they're wired to be the protector and provider. They look at things as the big picture, while women are experts and remembering everything from anniversary dates and birthdays to details of a weekend away and every word said in an argument five years prior.
So if you find your guy friend is patiently listening and remembering the details of what you said, there's a good chance he's into you more than just a friend.
- He Opens Up. Women have the natural ability to think and feel at the same time, while men can only think or feel. So when a woman wants to talk, and the man realizes he has to think and feel at the same time, just the thought of it stirs up anxiety. Men also find it more difficult to attach words to emotions, so if he is opening up to you and is emotionally available and transparent with his feelings, then chances are he likes you.
- The Way He Talks To You Is Different. One sign of being on the lookout for is how he talks to you compared to how he talks to his other female friends. Does he pay more attention to you when you're talking? Does he intently listen, and is he truly interested in what you're saying? Is he flirtier? Does he laugh more with you? It's an important indicator that he likes you more than just a friend if he treats you differently than his other female friends, so observe how he talks to you and compare it to how he talks to them.
- He Flirts With You. When someone flirts with you, you can't help but feel amazing and special; and that's exactly what he wants. But there's another motive as well-he might also flirt with you to test whether you'll flirt back. Remember, he wants to be more than friends, and he's trying to figure out whether you want to as well.
- He's Tongue Tied. Even the most astute male communicator will flounder under your mere presence if he's really into you. What was once an effortless and smooth dialogue when he saw you as just a friend has now become a nervous search for the perfect words. So if you find him suddenly tripping up his words and tongue tied, it could be a sign he wants to be more than friends.
- He Wants To Know Everything About You. There's a difference between liking you and liking you. When a guy likes you and wants to be more than friends, he can't seem to get enough of you. You're in his thoughts all the time, and he suddenly has a heightened interest in everything that has to do with you. He desires to know everything about you as well-your likes, your loves, your dislikes, your dreams. He wants to know what your childhood was like and what your favorite ice cream is. He also searches for a more profound level of understanding with you and wants a deeper emotional level with you as well.
- His Reaction To Your Presence. Watch how he reacts when you enter a room. Does his posture change, so he looks taller? Does he fix his hair or straighten his clothes? Does he look down at his shoes to make sure they're tied? Does he tuck in his shirt to avoid appearing messy? This is a subconscious reaction to your presence and is a sure sign that he's not only looking forward to seeing you but that he wants to look his best around you at all times.
- He Asks You Out. We've kept the most obvious sign for last. We're not talking about going out as buddies to the movies on a Sunday afternoon, or going out with a group of friends for a barbeque. If a guy wants to be more than friends with you, he's going to want to be alone with you on a real date. It might not be the most expensive restaurant or the most extravagantly-planned day, but it will be just you two, and it will be special. He'll know what you like (he remembers the details), and he might plan the date around those details. He might be a bit tongue tied when he asks you out, but know that this nervousness is him wanting to be more than friends with you, risking embarrassment and rejection, all for the chance to be with you on a deeper level.
Whether you have questions about friendships, relationships, or anything else, ReGain is always available to those in need of help. Know that you are not alone and that we at ReGain are here to help you work through it. With ReGain, you can speak with a therapist 24/7, seven days a week. With chat, text, phone, and video chat options, you can speak with a therapist in a way that is most convenient for you.
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