I Don't Like My Family: How To Identify And Distance Yourself From Toxic Relatives

Updated January 21, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

“I Don’t Like My Family”

Having Trouble Distancing Yourself From Toxic Family Relationships?

In the best scenarios, people maintain positive, healthy relationships with their parents or families, whether their family of origin is adoptive or biological. After all, the family is widely regarded as people you are supposed to count on through thick and thin. Many individuals proudly discuss how much they put family above all, and that may work well for some. However, there are unfortunate situations where people sometimes do not have the best relationships with their parents or relatives and think, “I don’t like my family.” Sometimes, individuals are born into toxic families and don’t have those feelings of a strong family bond. Seeking support from an online therapist can be really effective to help you work through your feelings.

When You Don’t Like Your Family

When you realize you have feelings that you hate your family or have a bad relationship with your parents, it’s always important to understand why you have these feelings. Disliking your family doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love than anyone else. However, understanding the divide between you and your family can be a very relevant and eye-opening experience. It can teach you about standards and what you’re willing to accept in life.

When you realize you hate your family or have a broken relationship with your parents, there are some effective measures which you can take to acknowledge and accept the situation, for the sake of your own emotional and mental wellbeing. Negative, toxic relationships with parents or relatives often trace back to some past harm from when people were just children. For example, many kids had a mother or parent who inflicted emotional abuse or physical abuse on their children. So these kids become adult children who harbor hate towards that parent.

Don’t Compare Your Situation To Other People’s Situations

Often, people can get caught up in comparisons and looking at their situations compared to another person’s situation. The reality is that each individual is unique, as are the experiences and feelings they will go through. It’s not healthy, nor can it help compare your entire life story to someone else’s highlight reel. This is applicable whether you’re thinking of someone you know or a person you follow on social media.

The reality is that everyone has their situations and challenges. Just because someone seemingly has the best life or the best family does not mean they aren’t dealing with negative feelings and issues you don’t know about. Ultimately, the grass is always greener on the other side. Focusing on the best ways how to accept your family is infinitely preferable to spending your time thinking about those you view as better off than you.

Don’t Blame Yourself

Some are lucky to have wonderful, supportive parents. Others get the type who often say, "I hate my kids!" However, none of us get to choose the families which we are born into. Because of the societal pressures around family and being close with family, it’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself if you don’t like your relatives. The reality is that self-blame is not productive or conducive to making decisions that will benefit you and improve your life quality. You should also be aware that not liking your family doesn’t have to adversely impact your general quality of life or your relationships with other people. There’s a big, beautiful world out there. Positive and constructive relationships do not have to be mutually exclusive to biologically related individuals.

How To Identify Toxic Relatives

The ability to identify toxic relatives is an imperative life skill that will serve you well. Sometimes, the people closest to you are the ones who are capable of doing the most harm. This is why you need to know how to identify toxic relatives. Recognizing the signs of toxic relatives is the very first step of identifying a problem. Only after a problem has been identified can it be solved.

You Don’t Enjoy Their Company

Whenever you’re in the company of someone else, it’s always important to note how you feel around them. This speaks volumes about the relationship dynamics and the health of your interactions with them. If you’re constantly landing in conflicts or drama with relatives, this is certainly indicative of toxicity. Not everyone is compatible, and despite biological relationships, you owe it to yourself to have healthy, constructive relationships.

They Don’t Apologize For Their Mistakes

No human being is perfect, nor should they be. Even our families make mistakes sometimes; the problem arises when relatives fail to apologize for their mistakes. In many cases, there are various reasons why someone may have issues with owning up to mistakes and apologizing as a mature person would. Failure to apologize for mistakes could pertain to their ego (which is a sign of immaturity), or they could see nothing wrong with what they did.

Either way, this doesn’t bode well, and this type of attitude is certainly toxic. When a relative does something hurtful, they should be willing to acknowledge that, put ego aside, apologize, and not repeat their mistake. You deserve better.

They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

As an individual, you have a right to your boundaries. Personal boundaries are healthy and important for the sake of your mental health. When a relative fails to respect your boundaries, they are also failing to respect you, and that is wrong. When families don't respect each other's boundaries and children experience emotional distress because of their over-doting parents, they are actually in an enmeshed family relationship. If your relatives continue to disrespect your boundaries even after bringing this matter to their attention, you should work on distancing yourself from them accordingly.

How To Distance Yourself From Toxic Relatives

Distancing yourself from toxic relatives is paramount. Toxic individuals, regardless of whether they’re your family, will drag you down and drain you if a serious distance isn’t created. When it’s all said and done, you are responsible for your mental and emotional health, regardless of other people’s conduct. This is why conducting yourself accordingly and making wise decisions is so important. The following ways of distancing yourself from toxic relatives will certainly prove advantageous if you don’t like your family.

Cut Off Channels of Communication

Eliminating methods for toxic relatives to contact you is the ultimate method to manage distancing yourself from them. This means not taking their phone calls, ignoring text messages and emails, and removing them from your social media pages. All mobile phones come with a feature that allows you to block your choice’s phone numbers in the present day. Likewise, email accounts and social media accounts allow users to block individuals who you no longer want to contact you.

Don’t Get Roped Into An Argument

It’s also not uncommon for toxic relatives to try guilt trips or pull the “but, I’m family” card. Please don’t fall for the family estrangement guilt trip. Familial ties do not give anyone the right to engage in harmful behaviors. Trust those feelings if you’ve reached the point of disliking your family and wanting to distance yourself from these toxic relationships. You are not in the wrong for taking steps to preserve your mental health and wellbeing.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

Having Trouble Distancing Yourself From Toxic Family Relationships?

Whenever there’s a major shift in the company you keep, this can sometimes create a gap where parents used to be. Not only does this expose you to healthy relationships, but it also reduces the temptation of going back to toxic relatives simply for the sake of not feeling alone. This happens more often than most individuals would like to believe, and it’s not advantageous to anyone’s mental health or wellness. You deserve to have positive people in your life and experience the joys of healthy relationships built on mutual respect.

Seeking Outside Help When You Don’t Like Your Family

Signing up for online therapy with ReGain is the best way of finding professional help and getting advice from someone who knows what they are talking about. Online therapy comes with many upsides, namely that you can get help regardless of where you live or what your schedule may be. Struggles and challenges in life regarding family business do not discriminate according to geographical locations, and neither should therapy.

To decide to work with online therapy will require trust, mutual respect, rapport, and confiding in a specialist about mental health issues that may be challenging to talk about. In the beginning, this may seem like a steep hurdle to overcome, but ultimately, you’ll find out that it’s very much worth it to talk to a therapist. Asking for help and advice in times of struggle is one of the bravest things you can do. 

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How To Get the Most Out Of Online Therapy – Find Your Therapist

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Where To Find Free Online Counseling For Families That Can’t Afford It

Family Systems Theory Definition & What Is It?

Everything You Need to Know About Family Counseling

The Enmeshed Family: 14 Signs Of Enmeshment And How To Overcome Difficult Relationship Dynamics

Family Values: What Values Should I Instill In My Family?

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If you’re still wondering if online therapy is right for you, please contact the ReGain and BetterHelp team at contact@betterhelp.com, or check us out online at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest.

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