How Knowing What Causes Divorce Can Save Your Relationship

Updated April 4, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Although divorce rates have been declining, it’s still a possibility when you choose to get married. Many people wonder if there is more that can be done to save their relationship from demise and want to know how to prevent divorce. Preparedness can be one of the most powerful ways to safeguard your relationship. Namely, understanding the most common causes of divorce can help you take extra steps to prevent these same issues from occurring in your own marriage. In this article, we’ll be exploring the leading cause of divorce and discussing how knowing this could save your relationship.


Reignite the spark by working through your marriage problems

The leading causes of divorce

To safeguard your relationship from ending, it can be crucial to know what could threaten it. The leading causes of divorce are:

  • Issues with Self
  • Infidelity
  • Money problems
  • Communication Problems
  • Constant Arguing
  • Lack of Intimacy
  • Unmet Expectations

Each of these is explored in more detail below.

Issues with self

If you polled a group of people and asked them about what causes divorce, this one may not even be on the list. This is because so many of us have been conditioned to believe that it must be because of some outside force or the other person’s fault when things fall apart. Sometimes, this is the case, but there are many instances when well-meaning individuals get into relationships, unknowingly dragging their issues from childhood or past relationships behind them.

When we take care of core wounds before getting involved in a serious relationship, we can save ourselves from heartache down the road. Working on ourselves can be essential since it is impossible to change someone else’s behavior. That isn’t to say that it is too late if you are already married. If you discover that there are issues you’ve never resolved within yourself, you can still choose to work on healing from them. 


Infidelity is one of the most common reasons that couples choose to divorce. While some relationships make it past instances of cheating, other couples find that the trust cannot be restored, making a marriage (or any relationship) challenging to maintain. Cheating does not always entail having physical relations with another person. Some people consider watching pornography cheating. Others believe that having deep emotional conversations with someone else could be cheating as well. Even if you are maintaining a relationship over the Internet, you may still be cheating on your partner in their eyes. This is why it can be vital to discuss boundaries with your partner and ensure the two of you are on the same page. 


Financial problems are among some of the most common reasons for divorce. This could entail fighting about money or disagreeing about money management. If you and your partner are constantly at one another’s necks about money availability, consider starting a budget. If one partner lavishly spends to the other’s demise, financial literacy classes might be in order. Although this may seem inconvenient for the time being, it may be a small price to pay for your relationship’s longevity.

Communication problems

Couples are bound to face conflict at some point while married. Not knowing how to talk problems out in a healthy way can make the situation worse. Effective communication skills can be one of the most important things for a relationship to have because it allows partners to understand one another and come up with solutions as a team. 

If you notice that you and your partner are not communicating as well or as often as you’d like, take action sooner rather than later. The longer you let this issue go on, the harder it may be to solve the problem later down the line. Recognizing and solving communication issues can help safeguard your relationship from divorce. Instead of letting problems ruin your marriage, you can talk them through and fix them together. This can reduce the stress and strife in your relationship, greatly improving your quality of life and happiness level overall.

Constant arguing

Many couples feel like they can hardly get through a day without arguing. Even when the issue is about something minor, it can turn into a huge argument. While it is normal for couples to argue, arguing every single day can be problematic and could indicate an underlying problem. Use your advanced communication skills to identify and solve these problems before they have the chance to erode your relationship. 

Constant arguing doesn’t have to be the theme of your relationship, but if you feel resentment or anger toward your partner, it may not be easy to refrain from. Remember that speaking with respect and love can help you communicate clearly with your partner and get past the issues you two are facing. Identifying the root cause of your arguing may help you both resolve the problem and move forward. 

Lack of intimacy

Problems in the bedroom are some of the most overlooked within marriage and often contribute to divorce. Lack of intimacy and sex can ruin a relationship, particularly when it causes one or both partners to feel unwanted, unloved, or undesirable. Although some couples don’t give this department of their relationship the recognition it deserves, it can still be important. 

When you are in a relationship, intimacy and sex are among the only things that separate your partner from a close friend. Humans have a basic need to feel loved and cared for and sex is one of the ways that is expressed, especially in a marriage. When this is broken, it can leave the marriage feeling stale and boring.

There are many ways to solve this type of problem. If boring sex is the issue, spicing it up with a new game or toy can be just the solution. Lack of sex can be remedied by making an honest attempt at showing your partner love and care and being more intimate with them. When you put the effort in to fix these issues, you are putting work into your marriage. If you can’t solve this problem on your own, consider enlisting help from a sex therapist. 

Unmet expectations

When we are in a dating relationship, the expectations can be wildly different from marriage for some people. The permanency, along with the vows taken when you marry someone, can make this even more apparent and true. If one person in the relationship isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, it can inevitably cause problems. Marriage is typically fifty-fifty, but this isn’t always the case. Disagreements surrounding missed housework and solo parenting are among the top complaints about couples who struggle in this area.

It can be crucial to talk about the expectations that you have for one another and how you will solve problems together. Have a game plan in place for what you will do if an expectation is unmet or not met to its fullest potential. Above all, when you see a problem, avoid ignoring it and choose to speak up if you can. Unexpressed expectations can be just as detrimental to a relationship as those that are unmet, and you owe it to your partner to be honest about what you need from them.

Reignite the spark by working through your marriage problems

Online counseling for marital problems

Some relationships struggle to solve one or more of these causes of divorce on their own. When this happens, therapy can offer practical tools to help. Regain is an online platform that offers individual and couples counseling for a fraction of the cost of traditional offices. You can receive services from anywhere you have a phone, tablet, or computer and an internet connection. There is no shame in reaching out for help in your marriage. Sometimes, the problems just feel too big to handle on your own. The guidance and wisdom imparted upon you by a trained professional can be a valuable tool in safeguarding your relationship. Whenever you feel ready, reach out to get started.

The efficacy of online counseling after divorce

Those who have gone through a divorce may be impacted in a number of ways. It’s common to experience anxiety, depression, grief, and more after a separation, but online counseling can help mitigate many of these effects. In one study, researchers assessed a year-long study of the effects of an online divorce platform on anxiety, depression, and somatization and found that divorcees experienced reductions in all three areas. Researchers followed up with participants one year after their divorce and found that the levels of each of these three outcomes matched those in the general population, suggesting the lasting impact of online counseling. 


Being aware of some of the common causes of divorce can be valuable information to have. However, keep in mind that every relationship is different, and what one couple can work through another may decide to part ways over. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding a divorce, the emotional consequences that can accompany a separation can be challenging to work through alone. Online therapy can be instrumental in the healing process. If you’ve experienced a divorce or are having problems in your own marriage, working with a licensed therapist could be beneficial. Whether you need to talk things out alone or alongside your partner, Regain p

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