11 Things That Should Be On Your Divorce Preparation Checklist
Divorcing your partner is not something that you should decide to do lightly. This is a big decision, and you likely want to make sure that it's the right one. If you've tried to save the marriage and know in your gut that it's time to move on, then it can be beneficial to start preparing for your life after getting divorced. It's very smart to make a divorce preparation checklist to ensure that you'll have all your ducks in a row. Take a look at the following eleven things that should be on your divorce preparation checklist so that you can start getting ready and know what to expect during the divorce process.
1. Find A New Place To Live
One of the first things to put on your divorce moving out checklist is finding a new place to live. If you're going to be divorced, you might not be able to keep living in your current home. Depending on how the divorce process goes, one person will get the house, and the other will need to get a new place, or you may both decide to move. At the very least, it's going to be smart to figure out a temporary living arrangement for yourself once you start the divorce proceedings.
You're also going to need to consider several other factors depending on certain things. For example, if you have children, how can you find a new place to live that won't disrupt your children's lives too much? You'll also need to consider whether you can take your pets with you.
2. Getting A P.O. Box
If you need to get divorce paperwork without your spouse knowing, you'll need a place for the mail to arrive. You can get a P.O. Box that will allow you to have a safe spot to receive such documents. It can prevent things from happening too soon when you're trying to prepare for what is ahead.
3. Consider Your Children
Your children, assuming you have kids, can be such an important part of this process. You want to help get your kids through this situation without hurting them. Many children experience fear and confusion when their parents are getting divorced. Some children even blame themselves for their parents getting divorced, which can cause them to struggle in school.
Think about how you can make the process more bearable for your children. Consider issues such as custody and whether you're going to be seeking child support from your spouse. Thinking through these things ahead of time can help you understand what to expect and the best course of action to take when it comes to your children.
4. Make Sure You Have A Car
If you don’t already have one, you're going to need transportation once you and your spouse are no longer together. If you only have one car in the family, then this will not be a good situation. It's smart to try to have your own car so that you can function independently of your ex.
5. Save Money If Possible
If you have your own source of income, then it is a good idea to save money to have a smooth transition into your new life. If you don’t already, open up your own bank account and try to tuck away as much money from each paycheck as you can. Alternatively, you can conveniently save money without a bank account if you prefer by utilizing a personal safe, lockbox, or another method that you are comfortable with.
6. Hire A Lawyer
Having a lawyer is another important part of the process that you need to pay attention to. Divorces can be very complicated, and many things need to be considered. If you own a home with your spouse, then you'll need to figure out who gets to keep it. You'll be dividing assets, and you need lawyers who can put you in an advantageous position.
There are people out there who go through divorces without involving lawyers. If you're splitting from your spouse amicably, then it might not be so bad. However, if you're worried enough that you need to make a divorce checklist, then there is a good chance that you're going to need a lawyer. People can get petty when money is involved, and a lot is at stake. Hiring a lawyer is a smart way to yourself, and it can also take a lot of the stress off of you.
7. Change Passwords To Important Accounts
It's also going to be smart to go ahead and change the passwords to your important personal accounts. You don't want your spouse to be able to use your email or your social media accounts. Depending on how upset they are about you wanting a divorce, they might decide to do something spiteful toward you. Also, it's simply not smart to allow your spouse to have to your accounts when you're planning on divorcing them.
Changing your passwords won't take long at all. It's also going to be beneficial to turn on two-step verification so that you'll have to verify things before the account is able to be connected on any device. Remember to do this before moving forward.
8. Decide When To Talk To Your Spouse
Of course, you're eventually going to have to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. This is a tricky subject, and you might not have an easy time coming up with the words. Even so, you must tell your spouse that you want out of the marriage. While there is no “right” time to talk about divorce, try to do this when you're close to being ready to move forward with everything else or have a good idea of your next steps so that you won't be left scrambling trying to figure out what to do.
Many people place this toward the end of a divorce checklist, but it makes sense somewhere near the middle. There is a lot that needs to be done once you've started the divorce process. If you have an abusive spouse, you can even leave the house with authorities' help.
9. Pack Your Belongings
Packing your belongings is another part of the process that may not be easy. If your spouse is angry or emotional about the impending divorce, then you might need help to get your stuff packed so that you can get out of the house fast. You can contact a loved one, if you wish, to help you.
There are also cases where police officers will standby in the home while people are packing their things. This can be arranged if you're worried about your well-being. If you suspect that your spouse is a danger to you in any way, then please do not hesitate to reach out to the appropriate authorities.
10. Focus On Self-Care
The process of divorce can be difficult and take a toll on mental and physical health. For this reason, you need to spend some time focusing on self-care. This can involve eating healthily, getting enough sleep, engaging in hobbies that you enjoy, taking a long shower or bath, exercising in whatever ways you most enjoy, and so on. You're likely going to feel emotionally drained during the divorce process in many ways, but you can feel a bit better by ensuring that you're taking care of yourself. Getting over a divorce will take time, but you can feel better by looking after your health.
11. Change Your Last Name
Getting a name change after divorce is also something that you may want to consider. Depending on how you feel about things, you might no longer want your ex-spouse's last name, assuming you took their last name in the first place. You'll need to go through the proper channels to revert your name to your maiden name. It isn't too complicated to do, but it might make you feel a lot better once it is finally done. It's like you've finally gone back to being yourself if you've been stuck in a bad marriage for quite some time.
Takeaway
Divorce is a process that is experienced differently by everyone. The above checklist can help you to better anticipate what life without your partner may be like, and can help you identify and take actionable steps toward independence.
Online therapy is always there for you, too. If you're having a hard time getting through a divorce, then you can count on online therapists to help you feel better. They can work with you to help you get through the emotions that you're experiencing. You'll start to make progress, and you'll always be able to count on these professionals when you need to talk.
Online couples counseling is available as well. This is good for when you want to try one more time to save the marriage. Depending on the severity of your relationship problems, this might be a good way to avoid having to get divorced. If you want to save your marriage, then online couples counseling is a great resource. Sessions can be held either individually or with you and your spouse together via phone call, video chat, or reliable in-app messaging anywhere you have an internet connection.
Research indicates that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for a variety of conditions and concerns, including aiding relationships. A 2022 study on relationship counseling held via video conferencing found that therapeutic alliance (the degree of trust and comfort between client and therapist) did not differ between online and in-person therapy. Additionally, the study “indicated improvements in relationship satisfaction, mental health, and all other outcome scores over time” that were comparable to those of couples who received in-person therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Do You Secretly Prepare For A Divorce?
If you’ve decided that you need to prepare for a divorce and would like (or need) to stay under the radar, a good first step is to gather as many resources and assets as you can. This can include financial support, a place to stay, transportation, and other important details that will help you remain independent.
Another important step if you’ve decided to prepare for a divorce is to contact a divorce lawyer or divorce attorney. The divorce process can be lengthy, tedious, and upsetting to go through, but having a good lawyer can help you navigate it with fewer hiccups.
If you are worried about your safety or the safety of a loved one, you should reach out to a resource center or even the police. If you get in touch with the police, you can let them know the situation so that they can subtly escort you to your next destination.
It can help to have a separate bank account and maybe some financial help from friends and family. Only confide your plans in a few people who you really trust.
What Are The Five Stages Of A Divorce?
When going through the divorce process, it’s not uncommon to grieve your lost relationship, even if it ended in a less-than-pleasant manner. It’s natural to do so; even the most toxic marriages can be upsetting to leave, especially if we depended on the person in question for a long time.
The five stages of grief, which many people feel in relation to their divorce, are genuine, challenging parts of moving on. The five stages of grief are as follows:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
You may go through this emotional process post-divorce or even during or before divorce. Filing for divorce can be stressful in terms of legal processes as well; that’s why it’s important to pursue divorce mediation or contact a divorce attorney. Though there’s not really such a thing as an easy divorce is manageable and doable. However, remember that there are counselors available specifically for people in your situation. Try, for example, ReGain.Us, where you can find qualified counselors specialized in helping people like you.
How Should A Woman Prepare For A Divorce?
To prepare for a divorce, it’s a good idea to contact a divorce lawyer, a divorce mediator, or other professionals to understand the legal process you’ll be partaking in. You can receive legal advice and divorce advice to ensure that the process is as mess-free and respectful as it can be.
It’s also possible to prepare for a divorce on amicable terms - that is, a collaborative divorce. In these sorts of situations, DIY divorce options are on the rise.
During a DIY divorce, paperwork is paid for and shipped to the interested parties' homes to complete legal proceedings. A DIY divorce is only recommended for those on mutual terms with their former partner about dividing property, custody of children, and other important topics.
What Can You Not Do During A Divorce?
During the divorce process, it’s important to keep a level mind and avoid conflict as much as possible, even though it may be difficult. Always consult your lawyer, divorce mediation professional, or any other advisor you may have for legal advice, divorce advice, or personal advice.
If you are struggling through a divorce, try not to rely on substances to help you feel better. While you are vulnerable, substance use could turn into substance abuse. Try instead to reach out to old friends who you may have lost touch with and try to use this opportunity to better yourself with new, healthy habits. This may even be the chance to take the trip or try the career change that you’ve always wanted.
Should You Separate First Before Divorce?
Whether or not a legal separation is a good first step before divorce depends on your situation. In some areas, separation is a requirement before legal divorce proceedings can begin. For the most part, though, it’s up to you.
Some may benefit from separating before marriage, especially if you’re not in a rush to legally separate or have other factors to consider, like children. Through separation, you can see what it is like to have some distance from your partner and decide if that distance is something you’d like to commit to in the long term. However, if you are certain that a divorce is best for you and your family, then separation beforehand may not be necessary.
For more specific legal advice and divorce advice, you might find it helpful to consult a legal professional like a divorce lawyer. These professionals can provide specific advice and details for your exact scenario to determine what’s most appropriate.
What not to do before you get divorced?
What is the first thing to do before getting a divorce?
What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?
How should a woman prepare for a divorce?
How do I shield myself financially in a divorce?
What is the typical length of the whole divorce process?
What are effective ways for a spouse to seek divorce peacefully?
How can one move on from a divorce and toward a happy life?
What are the most common signs that your marriage is over?
Who usually seeks divorce - men or women?
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