What Should Happen On A Second Date? Determining Your Expectations

Updated January 17, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

After going on a nice first date, it’s normal to get excited about what a second date has in store. You probably really like this new guy or girl in your life. It’s even possible that you might like them so much that you’re a bit nervous about the second date. Just take a deep breath and do your best to stay positive about the situation. Knowing how to get a second date is an important step toward entering a committed relationship with someone special. Even so, it’s not anything that you need to get too worked up over. Determining your expectations for the second date helps, and you shouldn’t expect the relationship to advance too much if your date seems to like taking things slow.

Getting To Know Each Other Better

The main goal of going on a second date is to get to know each other better. Dont' push your luck on a second date kiss yet. Just be grateful. You wouldn’t have arrived at a second date scenario if the first date didn’t go fairly well. You like each other and are interested in seeing how far this new connection can go. It’s time to work on opening up to your date and seeing just how compatible you are. This is why many people like to go on second dates that make it easy to have a good second date conversation.

Try to talk about your expectations and what you’re looking for out of a relationship. How well you vibe with your date is going to determine whether a third date is going to be a good idea. You want to have fun and show him or her a good time. It’s also good to be real and to try to open up a little more than you did on the first date. You can prepare some second date questions if that's easier for you. However, you don’t need to discuss incredibly serious topics or tell your date your five-year plan. Just let the conversation flow and get to know this person who has captured your attention so much as of late.

What to talk about on a second date depends on your personality. You might want to talk about your interests and your hobbies a bit. Talking about the future is a bit serious, but it can be nice to know what someone’s goals are. You’re building a bond with this person, and you see how far this relationship can go. These second date tips for conversations can help you gauge whether you will be able to turn this into a long-term relationship.

Going On An Interesting Date

Do You Need Help Establishing Expectations In Your Relationships?

It’s not the best idea to do the same things all the time when you go on dates. If you keep taking your date to similar restaurants all the time, then he or she is likely going to get the impression that you’re boring. Dating is about creating memories together and building your history as a new couple. Whether you’re dating exclusively or if you’re getting to know each other casually, it’s important to put some effort into your date selection. What to do on a second date is up to you, but it’s smart to pick an activity that you know will be appealing to your date.

For instance, if your date loves the outdoors, then going for a walk in the park might be a very nice date to go on. You could plan a romantic picnic and spend some time together, enjoying the subtle breeze while you chat. Some people might even be interested in going on a short hike. The types of dates that will be appropriate will depend on what you and your date like to do. Some people might think that going to a concert is a good second date idea and others might not like it because it is so noisy.

Spend some time thinking about where to take a girl on a date. You can do an activity that isn’t as intimate at first and still has the time to talk later. Planning out the end of your evening is crucial. Try to end the evening with some one-on-one time and spend some time talking. You might even be looking to initiate some physical affection, but don’t push your date into anything that he or she isn’t comfortable doing.

More Physical Affection

Some people expect that the second date will be an appropriate time to show more physical affection. This can certainly be true if both people are fine with it. You want to make sure that your date is open to being touched and that he or she is in the mood for it. Physical affection isn’t necessarily referring to anything sexual. You might not have held hands yet in your relationship. Your stroll in the park, assuming you choose that date idea, could be a good opportunity to change that. These little milestones of the growing closer can be fun, and they can even get you excited about what is to come.

Your date might even be more open to kissing you on the second date. He or she chose to go out with you again for a reason. If you didn’t kiss much or at all after your first date, then perhaps things will be different on the second date. Don’t be afraid to show your date that you’re interested and that you have feelings for them. It could lead to sparks flying, and you might reach a new relationship plateau.

What About Sex?

Having sex after the second date might not be the best idea. It depends on how you view sex and how your date thinks about sex. Some people are open with their sexuality and will not have a problem with having sex early in a relationship. Others will be much more reserved and will want to take things slow. If you want to have sex, then you need to make sure that your date is interested in going that far before trying to initiate such an encounter.

You can start determining this during your second date kiss. The kiss might become more passionate than usual, and it could turn into making out. If it feels natural and things are getting pretty steamy, then you might want to go further. Just ensure that your date is comfortable with how things are progressing. If he or she indicates that they want to stop or slow down at any point in time, then you need to stop right away. It can be tough to cut yourself off when you’re getting in the mood, but you have to be cognizant of how your date feels.

It’s also smart to think about how having sex so soon could change the dynamic of your relationship. Some people grow closer very fast after sleeping together. Others might feel that they had sex too soon and might drift apart. The timing should feel right between two people before this happens. If it doesn’t, then you might want to wait a little bit longer. There is nothing wrong with taking it to the next level, if you both feel like taking things to a sexual level, but you shouldn’t expect sex to happen on a second date, either. For many people, it’s more the exception than the rule.

Figure Out How You Feel

Figuring out how you feel is crucial. Do you like this guy or girl a lot or are you just looking for sex? Are you interested in pursuing a long-term relationship or do you want to have fun? Now that you have reached the second date, things are going to start progressing. You need to be honest with your expectations so that you do not accidentally hurt the person that you’re dating. If you’re dating a girl who is looking for a serious boyfriend and you can’t be that for her, then it might be best to let her go.

You might be on the same wavelength as your date, too. In this situation, you might want to start taking each other more seriously. If the compatibility seems to be there and you like the way that things are going, then maybe it’s time to take this relationship exclusive? Two dates might be too early to determine this for some, but some people are only interested in exclusive dating. Dig deep and figure out how you feel about this guy or girl in your life. It won’t take long, and it’s always best to be honest with yourself.

Consider Talking To Online Couples Counselors

Do You Need Help Establishing Expectations In Your Relationships?

If your relationship winds up advancing further, then you might need help eventually. You don’t have to get through problems or anxieties alone when you have online couples’ counselors to talk to. They have been working with people in your situation for a long time. You might need help with individual struggles so that you can feel more confident about moving forward. Eventually, you might want assistance with strengthening your bond as a couple. These online counselors will always be there for you when you’re having a tough time.

Turning to an online couples’ counselor is a good idea if you’re unsure about things. They have helped many people to get through significant relationship problems. Whether you want individual counseling or if you want to work on problems as a couple, it’ll be easy to reach out. Online counselors are available at times that are convenient for you, and you don’t have to worry about office hours. Take the time to sign up for online counseling today if you need any assistance at all.

Counselor Reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.