How To Keep Up When You’re Dating A Younger Woman

By Robert Porter|Updated May 2, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Lisa Cooper, MSW, LCSW

Meeting a new woman and falling in love is something that can make you feel like a million bucks. If this new girl in your life is significantly younger than you, then you might be a bit concerned about whether you're going to be able to make it work. Indeed, love isn't defined by age and you should be able to have a great relationship with your new girlfriend if you're committed to it. Even so, it's normal to worry about whether you can keep up when you're dating a younger woman. Take a look at the advice below so that you can have an easier time keeping up with the special young woman in your life.

Get Into Shape

The most common reason why older men are worried about whether they can keep up with a younger woman has to do with physical conditioning. If you're in your forties and you're not in the best shape of your life, then you might be a bit self-conscious about it. Dating a fit twenty-year-old is going to make your insecurities bubble to the surface, likely. It's important to love yourself for who you are and to realize that people have much more to offer than just their physical appearances. This doesn't mean that getting into better shape won't be beneficial, though.

A good exercise regimen could help you to lose a bit of weight while also increasing your stamina. This will give you the energy that you need to keep up with your younger lover. When you're in better shape, it's so much easier to get out and have fun doing certain activities. You'll be able to enjoy being active with her, and your age really won't seem like so much of an issue. This is something that you can do for yourself that will have a positive impact on your psyche, so it's about more than just being able to keep up with your girl.

To get the best results, it's a good idea to think about your diet as well. What you eat often plays more of a role than exercise when it comes to weight loss. Try to stick to a good diet plan and ask your doctor about what would be appropriate. It should be easy to come up with a calorie limit and stick to it if you have enough willpower. Once you get into the groove with a diet, it'll become second nature, and you'll enjoy how much better you feel when you eat better food.

Don't Make It All About The Age Difference

It should go without saying, but you should try not to make your relationship all about the age difference. One of the reasons that you're dating your current girlfriend might be because you find her attractive. Her youth and beauty shouldn't be the only things that are drawing you to her, though. Also, if you feel so self-conscious about your age, then you're going to start making the relationship awkward by bringing it up too much.

Just try to be natural about it and enjoy her for who she is. The dates on their birth certificates don't define people. The girl that you're dating is with you because she likes you. Enjoy the moment and try not to put too much focus on your age difference. Eventually, you'll probably stop thinking about the age difference at all once the relationship grows stronger. Getting to know her and being a good boyfriend is just as important as being able to keep up with her physically.

Be Yourself

You should also try to be yourself instead of trying to be someone that you're not. There have been situations where older men have tried to appear or act younger than they are due to dating someone younger. This often comes across as strange and your relationship probably isn't going to succeed if you're not your true self. You don't have to pretend to be from a different generation just for this girl to love you.

If the relationship is going to work out, then she will love you for who you are. Young women are sometimes attracted to older men due to what they bring to the table. An older man might be more mature than the men that are her age. You have life experienceand you can win her heart by just being a genuinely good guy. It's possible to be fun and to be a great lover without having to try to fit yourself into a role that doesn't work for you.

Don't pretend to like things that you don't just to try to make her happy either. You might have different musical tastes and that's going to be perfectly acceptable. Not every couple enjoys the same music, television shows, or movies. Love is deeper than that and you shouldn't feign interest in things. People can usually tell when you're just going through the motions and making things up.

Taking a genuine interest in the things that your younger girlfriend enjoys is fine, though. It must come from the heart. Some people will get into modern music that their younger lovers are into. Just be yourselfand you're not going to have any problems keeping up with your new love interest.

Find Common Interests

Finding common interests can help you to keep up with your younger girlfriend quite nicely. As mentioned above, being yourself is important. You don't have to hide who you are, and you shouldn't pretend to be a hip-hop connoisseur if it just doesn't mesh with your sensibilities. Even so, there are likely going to be many things that you will both enjoy.

While you're getting to know her, you'll likely find that you have some common interests. Use those to grow closer to her, and these can become regular things that you do together. For example, you might discover that you both love reading similar books or that you appreciate certain movie genres. Your common interests might even be in hobbies such as hiking, surfing, or skiing. Whatever the case might be, you should enjoy these common interests together.

Avoid Being Jealous

Some men also have problems with getting very jealous or possessive of younger girlfriends. A lot of this has to do with worrying about her leaving you for someone younger or more attractive. Mature individuals will be able to let these worries or thoughts pass without acting on them. Your girlfriend needs to be trusted if the relationship is going to work out.

Never try to keep her from going out and enjoying her life. She needs to be able to spend time with her friends, and you shouldn't try to monopolize her time. You'll likely get a large chunk of her time as her boyfriend, but you must keep reasonable expectations. Her going out for a girls' night out shouldn't make you feel threatened. Even if she has some male friends, you're going to need to put trust in this girl if you truly respect her as your girlfriend.

Show Her That You Sincerely Care

Men who want relationships with younger women to work out need to be genuine. If you have good intentions and want to date her for more than just her body, then you should try to show her your sincerity. Make her feel special and treat her like you would any other woman that you would be seriously dating. She might be younger than you, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a mature and nuanced relationship.

Try to avoid treating her like an object if you want this relationship to blossom into full-blown love. Treat her with respect and dignity while getting to know her. Open up to her and give her a real shot. A younger woman isn't some mythical creature that you need to be in awe of. She's a real person with feelings, and she decided to start dating you for a reason. Explore this relationship further and be ready to take it seriously if romantic feelings continue to deepen between the two of you.

Some men might be distrustful of young women at first due to hearing stories about gold diggers or people who are looking for sugar daddies. It should be easy to tell whether a woman sees you because she likes you or if she is after your pocketbook. If your girlfriend is treating you with respect and showing you love, then she deserves the same treatment in return. Do your best to continue to work on your relationship and keeping up with her really won't be a problem.

Don't Forget That Online Couples Counseling Can Help

Please don't forget that online couples counseling can help you out if you're struggling. Some couples will encounter issues due to age differences, and you might need some help to get over certain hurdles. The expert online counselors at Regain will be more than happy to assist you. These licensed therapists can help you to solve problems while also strengthening your relationship.

If you are worried about whether going to counseling will be convenient, then online counseling is your best bet. You're going to be able to go to these counseling sessions without having to leave your house. It's even possible to reach out to the counselors at times that are convenient for you. Take advantage of this opportunity if you need help with your relationship. You can seek out individual counseling, or you can attend counseling sessions as a couple.

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