How To Avoid Emotional Detachment In Relationships

By Robert Porter

Updated February 13, 2020

Reviewer Tanya Harell

If you're currently in a relationship and you want to do your best to ensure that it works out, then you need to make sure that you're emotionally invested. Some relationships will fail due to one person becoming emotionally detached from the other. Emotional detachment in relationships is more common than many people realize. What exactly is emotional detachment, though?


Emotional detachment, as it is defined in psychology, refers to someone being unable to form emotional connections with others. This can make it very tough for someone to truly feel invested in a relationship when they don't feel like they have an emotional stake in it. Sometimes people have problems with emotional detachment due to a type of mental health condition. Other times, people use emotional detachment as a coping mechanism to protect themselves from feelings of anxiety.

Either way, emotional detachment is not a good thing for your relationship. If you want to have a good relationship that can grow into something beautiful, then you need to avoid emotional detachment. It's unlikely that you'll ever be able to form meaningful bonds with others if you continue to avoid becoming emotionally attached. Please take a look at some of the advice below to learn how to avoid emotional detachment in relationships.

Mental Health Reasons For Emotional Detachment

As mentioned above, there are some mental health reasons for people becoming emotionally detached in relationships. Those who have PTSD will sometimes have issues with becoming emotionally detached from people that they care about. There are also certain sociopathy disorders that can cause a person to be antisocial or to avoid becoming attached to others.

When there is a diagnosed mental health problem that is causing these detachment issues, you're going to want to work with your doctor. A doctor will be able to ensure that you get the right medication to manage your condition. People who struggle with forming emotional bonds might also need to speak to a therapist to get help. This can help them to learn how to open up to others, and it can change the way that they look at social or romantic relationships over time.

Allow Yourself To Feel

If the emotional detachment is occurring for another reason, then you can start using normal advice to try to work on your relationship. Many people detach themselves emotionally to avoid being hurt. This puts people in a state where they're emotionally numb. You might not feel vulnerable in this state, but you also aren't going to be happy.


You need to allow yourself to feel if you want to give a relationship a true shot. Love is about experiencing deep emotions, and it can be difficult to cope with sometimes. Love is intense, and some people find love to be a little bit frightening at first. When you start to develop feelings for someone, it's easy to see how painful it would be if you were to lose them suddenly. Some choose to close themselves off rather than allowing themselves to feel truly.

Open up your heart to someone and let yourself feel the true joys of love. It might not come naturally to you if you've been closed off for a long time. However, it's important to understand that you are missing out on one of the most beautiful aspects of life. Emotions can be both good and bad, but love is going to be worth it.

Communication Is Important

Communication is another important part of the process. If you aren't communicating with your loved one properly, then how are you going to remain emotionally invested in the relationship? Some people are so independent that they sort of forget about the need to communicate and nourish a relationship. You need to open up to your partner and allow the bond that you share to grow.

Instead of cutting yourself off emotionally, you should start to let your partner in. Allow them to get to know you and enjoy getting to know them. Discovering new things about each other should be a fun part of your relationship. If you can learn to communicate properly, then you'll be able to do this in a very natural way. Some people aren't good with words, and they might need help with opening up.

Many couples wind up getting the help of dedicated counselors to work on communication problems. Communication problems are one of the top ten reasons why couples break up. If you can learn to speak with your partner healthily, then your relationship will be that much better. This is true when you have problems opening up, and it's also true when you have anger issues that you need to work through. Don't hesitate to reach out to a counselor if you need help with communication issues.

Develop Shared Goals

Developing shared goals is a great way to show your partner that you're in this relationship together. If you're committed to working toward a future with one another, then having shared goals is a must. These goals could be simple life milestones such as purchasing a home or having children. It could also be something like losing weight together or working on other personal achievements together.

Relationships are about sharing and giving each other strength. If you can bond with your partner and work toward goals together, then it will make your relationship much stronger. That time that you spend together working on achieving your goals helps to prevent you from becoming emotionally detached. It keeps you invested in the relationship by acting as a reminder of your bond.

Vulnerability Is A Part of Successful Relationships

Know that vulnerability is part of being in a successful relationship. When you give your heart to someone else, there is always the chance that it could be broken. This reality is what often causes people to shut down emotionally. People want to use emotional detachment as a coping mechanism to avoid having to deal with heartache.


You can't experience true happiness inside of a relationship without being emotionally invested. Don't detach yourself from your feelings. Be vulnerable and let your partner know how much they mean to you. Your honesty is important, and your partner will appreciate being let into your life. You can't let fear rule you and being afraid of how vulnerable love makes you will only hold you back.

Try Not To Be Afraid

Trying not to be afraid isn't always going to be easy. If you're someone who deals with significant anxiety issues, then you might be in a constant state of nervousness or fear. That doesn't mean that you should allow the fear to win. All things that are worth having are worth effort. You can enjoy a fantastic relationship, but you'll never get to that point if fear is keeping you from fully committing yourself.

To deal with your fear, it's important to try to think about things logically. If you're not committing to a relationship due to fear, then you're robbing yourself of a potentially life-changing opportunity. The love of your life could be passing you by due to your inability to emotionally invest. If you could find it in yourself to push the fear out of the way, you might find that the reward is worth the effort.

True love is almost indescribable. When you love someone deeply, the entire world will appear to be that much brighter. There are bad things in this world, and nothing is without risks. You can understand this while also realizing that the beautiful things in life make all of the tough times worthwhile. You're stronger than you know, and your relationship can succeed if you're ready to put in the time to make it happen.


Consider Couples Counseling

You can also consider signing up for couples counseling if you need assistance. Couples counseling is a great way to work on your relationship. You can sign up for online couples counseling to make things as convenient as they can be. You'll be able to speak to a counselor from the comfort of your own home and can work on improving your relationship.

It might take time to work through all of your issues. Even so, these licensed counselors will be happy to assist you with many different things. You can go to counseling sessions together as a couple, or you can work on issues individually. This will help you to grow your bond while learning how to communicate more effectively. People have even been able to work through issues that cause emotional detachment by working with online counselors.

Best of all, this is an incredibly discreet service. You won't need to worry about anyone knowing that you're going through counseling and you'll never have to leave home to attend a session. This is a cost-effective and simple way to get the help that you need. Your relationship can thrive with the help of dedicated counselors, so don't hesitate to reach out if you need assistance.

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