PTSD And Relationships: How To Be There For Your Partner
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a severe mental health condition that impacts many people’s lives. Those who have PTSD can have difficulty coping with certain traumatic events that have occurred in the past. Many individuals who have been diagnosed with PTSD have served in the military. However, PTSD can develop as a result of any traumatic event, such as a natural disaster or experiencing abuse or witnessing someone else being abused. When people experience traumatic events, those moments can stick with them and contribute to the development of PTSD.
It is currently estimated that around eight million people live with PTSD during a typical year. This is a condition that impacts all genders. Ten percent of all women will develop PTSD at some point in their lives. Only four percent of men will go through PTSD.
How can I help my partner?
If your partner is experiencing symptoms of PTSD, you’re probably wondering what you can do to help. Maybe you want to be there for someone you love dearly, but you aren’t sure how to make a difference.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is be a supportive, non-judgmental presence. Allow your partner to express how they are feeling openly. Dating someone with PTSD is difficult, but learning how to assist them as they manage their symptoms and to do the best you can to validate their emotions and experiences can help more than you might think. Remind them that there is help and support available, and they are not alone.
At the same time, it is important to note that having the support of others is helpful but does not replace professional support. Offer to help your partner research options for mental health professionals. There is a treatment that can help individuals with PTSD reduce their symptoms and triggers and improve their quality of life.
Help to identify and manage triggers
People who have PTSD may have certain triggers that can cause them to re-live painful events from the past. If you can understand the types of things that can trigger these episodes, you can do your best to keep them from happening. For example, loud noises or explosions might trigger episodes in some people who have PTSD. Others might experience distress when they’re exposed to flashing lights, or when they visit a place that reminds them or wherever their trauma occurred.
Learn about these triggers, and then do your best to learn ways to manage them that work best for you and your partner. It can be helpful to work with a mental health professional to develop strategies for coping when your partner is experiencing a trigger. You won’t be able to plan for and eliminate all possible triggers, but you can have a plan in place to help to support your partner should a trigger occur.
Understand that your partner will have bad days
Those who have PTSD occasionally deal with extreme emotions. This can manifest itself as a type of angry outburst, sudden crying, or irritability. Your partner might yell at you or seem incredibly irritable during days when their symptoms are more severe. When this happens, it can be tough to keep from getting emotional about it.
It can be helpful to prepare yourself mentally. Remind yourself that your partner’s behavior is not their choice or their fault and that it is not about you. Try to remain compassionate and patient as your partner navigates the ups and downs of living with PTSD.
Recovery can take time; however, with the appropriate treatment, an individual can learn to manage their condition and experience less impactful symptoms and triggers over time.
You need to take care of yourself too
Taking care of yourself is also very important when you want to be there for your partner. You know how tough living with PTSD can be, and you understand that there will be tough times ahead. This is why taking care of yourself matters so much. If you are not taking care of and supporting yourself physically and mentally, it’s unreasonable to expect yourself to be able to do those things for someone else.
It is important to prioritize having a support system for yourself. As much as you want to be always there for your partner, there are going to be days when you’ll need someone to lean on. Having your family or close friends to talk to about your feelings can be useful. Sometimes you may need to process your emotions and speak to someone outside of the situation. It isn’t something that you have to face alone.
You can also try to get others to help your partner out, too. For instance, your partner might also have a family who loves them very much. They may be willing to help when possible so that you can take some time away from yourself to pursue your interests. As much as you love your partner, it’s still important to maintain a life outside of the relationship.
Our support systems need support, too
PTSD affects millions of people worldwide yearly. Whether you’re experiencing PTSD or have a partner with PTSD whom you want to support, online therapy can be a great resource. Through Regain, you can sign up for couples counseling to help you navigate your relationship difficulties. You could also pursue individual therapy as an avenue of prioritizing your mental health as you support your partner. Sessions can be held via phone, video chat, or instant and secure in-app messaging anywhere you have an internet connection and feel comfortable.
Online therapy has been found to be overall just as effective as traditional in-person therapy. The National Center for Health Research conducted a meta-analysis of dozens of studies focused on internet-based therapy effectiveness. They concluded that online therapy just as successful as in-person therapy for a variety of disorders and concerns, including PTSD and trauma, grief, depression, anxiety, and more.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs):
Can PTSD affect relationships?
If you're dating after emotional trauma or dating someone with PTSD, keep in mind that post-traumatic stress disorder can affect relationships. The symptoms of PTSD can cause people with PTSD to isolate themselves, become untrusting, and feel afraid even when they are with loved ones. People with PTSD who also just experienced a traumatic event can exhibit PTSD symptoms such as feeling numb, being on guard all the time, and having a hard time relaxing.
While PTSD can cause relationship problems with their partner, their traumatic stress can be reduced with a mental disorder treatment plan. These treatment methods can also help with relationship problems and enhance a person’s mental health with PTSD. Therefore, relationships involving individuals with PTSD can still be healthy and successful, and one’s partner can even help reduce PTSD symptoms in the long run.
If you want to learn more about how PTSD affects trauma survivors, refer to the U.S Department of Veteran Affairs.
How do you deal with PTSD in a relationship?
If you have a partner with PTSD or are yourself a person with PTSD, dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder in a relationship can be challenging. If you have a partner with PTSD, then the following tips can help in managing their or your triggers:
Provide social support
People with PTSD should be treated with the utmost respect, and you need to have patience with them. For example, do not force a person with PTSD to talk. Some PTSD symptoms include people feeling jittery and constantly nervous about their situation. These symptoms of PTSD can prevent them from talking about themselves. As such, you should be patient with your partner and show them that you are willing to listen to them when they are ready to talk about their traumatic stress.
Treatment options
You can also seek a mental disorder treatment plan for your partner with PTSD. This can help improve relationship problems by reducing symptoms and enhancing the mental wellbeing of people with PTSD. Here are a few options to consider:
You can seek therapy specifically for your partner with PTSD. People with PTSD can decrease the severity of their symptoms and triggers by engaging with a trusted medical professional.
Worldwide, PTSD affects eight million adults in a given year. Support groups can aid in connecting with others with PTSD through talking with and listening to others who are going through similar experiences. There are groups for individuals with PTSD as well as groups for those with loved ones with PTSD.
What does trauma do to relationships?
People with post-traumatic stress disorder may experience challenges in their relationships through the symptoms of PTSD affecting the wellbeing of their partner and themselves. These symptoms of PTSD can include:
- Anxiety
- Insomnia
- Stubbornness about wanting things a certain way
- Difficulty in trusting others
- Feeling unsafe
These symptoms can have a negative impact on the person with PTSD as well as on their close loved ones or partner. People with post-traumatic stress disorder should receive as much care and support as possible. However, their loved ones should also remember to care for themselves at the same time. If they do not take time for themselves, then the relationship can degrade.
What can trigger someone with ptsd?
Many factors can trigger someone with post-traumatic stress disorder and cause them to relive the traumatic event. These factors depend on the individual and the source of the trauma but are split into two main categories: internal and external triggers. The factors that can trigger someone with PTSD may include:
Internal
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Muscle tension
- Memories that are linked to a person’s post-traumatic stress disorder
External:
- Seeing someone or visiting a place that brings back memories of a person’s post-traumatic stress disorder
- Smells associated with someone’s traumatic stress disorder
- The anniversary of someone’s traumatic event
How do you love someone with emotional trauma?
You can still love your partner with PTSD, regardless of their trauma. People with post-traumatic stress disorder are not different people because of their condition. They may think that they are alone and nobody can help them. However, while you can’t force anyone to seek help, what you can do is show your partner that you still love them and are supportive of their efforts to work through and overcome their PTSD. But you also don’t need to pressure yourself to solve all your partner’s problems, especially if you aren’t a professional. For instance, let’s your partner is experiencing relationship PTSD from a previous relationship. To overcome relationship trauma, a trained professional can offer genuine and long-term help to your partner.
What should you not say to a trauma survivor?
You should not bring up the source of a trauma survivor’s post-traumatic stress disorder unless they say that they would like to talk about it. Those with PTSD may feel helpless at times concerning their triggers and relationships. You can help your partner with PTSD by not bringing up their trauma and listening to them about anything when they are ready to talk. If they are experiencing a trigger or are having a difficult day in which they are experiencing common symptoms like irritability, anger, sadness, etc., you can ask if they would like to talk about it, would like you to listen, or you can give them some space if that’s what they feel they need.
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