If She Doesn't Text Back, Is She Not Interested? Rejection And Recovery

Updated February 1, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team
“Not replying to communication you are initiating can be confusing and difficult to deal with. Try to affirm yourself for putting yourself out there while also making sure you are being assertive in your communication. Remember that if someone is not reciprocating communication they probably would not be a good match for you.” - Ryan Smith, LPC, NCC

Texting with someone you have feelings for can be painful; even one text going unanswered for what seems like too long can derail your entire day and make you question everything you know about your burgeoning relationship. Although there are numerous factors involved with communication, and whether or not someone can text, call, or DM someone, there are instances in which a lack of a response is indicative of a lack of interest.

What Does It Mean When A Woman Doesn’t Text Back?

Not Sure If She's Interested?

The exact meaning of someone not texting back is difficult to discern, as there are many reasons someone might not send a response to a text. Some of them are based on disinterest and might be ignoring texts on purpose, and some of them are based on an inability to reach out, distraction, or something similar. If a woman does not text back for weeks at a time, or days at a time several days in a row, it might be safe to assume that she is not interested in carrying your relationship further. After all, if she were interested, she would likely make an effort to stay in touch and get to know you more.

A woman not texting back could also mean that she is busy or distracted. She might have a large work or school project, family in town visiting, or an old friend with whom she is catching up. Assuming that you know all of the details of her life will only hurt you both, so understand that not everyone believes that daily interaction with a love interest is a necessary-or, even desirable-goal.

Could An Interested Woman Not Text Back?

Of course! Plenty of things take people away from their phones for hours or even days at a time, and the woman you are texting is no exception. If you’ve texted your love interest and she has not responded to you in hours or days, you can certainly give her the benefit of the doubt and give her plenty of time and space to send you a response. If a girl stops texting you, there's a potential that she's busy and is waiting for when she has more time. 

Women have also been conditioned to believe that texting back and forth quickly and often suggests that they are desperate or too eager, so some women may feel as though they have to be aloof or “play it cool” to keep a prospective partner’s interest. If this is the case, you could let her know that you are checking in to make sure she is all right, or you could wait for her to respond; the choice is yours.

The woman you are texting might also have learned to keep her distance until the relationship has progressed further and might be a cautious, careful person where new relationships are concerned. If this is the case, she will probably continue to engage you in conversation but will not go out of her way to text you and may take her time getting back to you until you form a deeper connection. 

Other Signs She Is Not Interested

How can you determine whether or not she is interested, then? Apart from texting or not texting, there will be other signs to alert you to whether she is interested. When trying to discern how someone feels about you, observe their behavior, speech patterns, and habits and figure out how they most likely feel based on those things. Signs she is not interested in including:

1) No Acknowledgement Of Interest

If she seems half-hearted about setting a day or time to meet up and doesn’t seem to want to commit to anything definite, she is probably not interested. Although a woman does not have to break out a set of pom-poms and confess her intent to marry you, if she consistently shows no particular preference for you and does not seem excited at the prospect of getting to know you or having you get to know her, she is likely uninterested. There could be many reasons why you're having a dead conversation and that a girl stopped responding to you. It might not be worth it to re engage at that point. 

2) Not Making You A Priority

Although a fledgling relationship should not be expected to take up tons of time, if you have not been made a priority in any way, she is likely, not interested. Making you a priority does not have to be anything grandiose; instead, making you a priority can look as simple and easy as making sure to give you a quick smile when she sees you or keep eye contact when your eyes meet. It can also mean taking the time to send you a quick text or make a quick phone call to let you know she is thinking of you.

3) She Does Not Explain Prolonged Silence

Women do not owe you an in-depth window into their day-to-day life, but if she goes days without responding to a text, then gives you a quick, short response, without acknowledging the time passing, she might be trying to scale back on communication, hoping that you’ll follow suit. If a girl doesn't text back in your text conversation, avoids wanting to meet up in real life, she just might not be interested anymore. It may seem like a big deal initially that she isn't responding, but with time, you'll likely start thinking about her less.

4) She Pushes You Away

Some people do not feel safe or comfortable actively rejecting someone and resort to pushing people away to fuel a breakup. If she seems to constantly push you away by shooting down everything you say, contradicting you on a never-ending basis, and generally keeping everything close to her and far from you, she is very likely trying to let you know she is not interested.

Accepting Rejection

There are tips to get her to text back. However, if she's showing obvious signs that she's not into you, maybe it is best to accept rejection. The most important part of accepting rejection is making sure you do not become aggressive, rude, or too attached, leading to stalking the woman with whom you are interested. Although you can try a few times after the woman in question stopped texting you, you do not become aggressive and cruel in your attempts to communicate-and avoid going to the other extreme and begging for her attention. Instead, you can text a few times over a few weeks to make sure she is intentionally ignoring you. If, during this time, you do not get a response, you can safely assume that you are being ignored. You can send one last text, thank her for your time, let her know that you will not contact her again, and remove her from your phone.

Once she is removed from your phone, try to avoid pursuing her any further. Do not hop on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat, to try to see what she has been up to-, whether she is dating someone or anything similar. Instead, when you feel the urge to look her up, redirect your energy and attention toward a more worthwhile pursuit, whether that means speaking to a woman who has consistently shown you interest and attention or redirecting your attention toward other parts of your life.

Recovering After A Rejection

Not Sure If She's Interested?

Rejection hurts. Even if you and the woman you are texting only connected for a few days or weeks-and especially if it was longer-rejection is painful and can make you feel as though there is something wrong, unlovable, or inadequate about you; fortunately, this is likely not the case. You and another person can have disparate personalities or be wholly incompatible without possessing some fatal flaw or an unlovable personality trait. Some people don’t work out, even when they both try their hardest; how much more so two people who are not both fighting with everything they have to keep their relationship afloat?

Although some people will encourage you to leap into a new relationship immediately-and, some evidence suggests that rushing into a relationship can actually boost your self-esteem-you can also take the time after a rejection to check in with yourself and identify what it is that you want or expect from a relationship, or your life in general. Knowing exactly what you want is helpful in every aspect of your life, as you will have a greater sense of direction and a clearer idea of what it is you are looking for and what you are willing to let go of, including old relationships and relationships habits.

She Stopped Texting Me: Rejection, Recovery, And Moving On

Moving on from a relationship can feel like an impossibly tall order, and many people find themselves orbiting their relationship for months or years, unable to finally let go of the relationship they once cherished or relied upon so heavily. In some cases, this “orbiting” behavior will fade with time and will not need to be addressed directly, while in others, intervention from a mental health professional might be necessary. If you feel that you cannot function daily, you have lost interest in things you previously loved, or you find yourself engaging in unhealthy habits to cope with your pain, reach out to a therapist, such as those found on ReGain.Us. Therapists can help you gain a greater sense of equilibrium to recover from rejection and avoid creating problematic habits in the process.

Rejection hurts, no matter how it is delivered. Even if your texting was a fledgling relationship, being rejected and being ignored are both difficult things to move on from, and they can pack quite a wallop to your self-esteem. Maybe you are asking yourself, why he stopped texting me.  With some care, diligence, and a little bit of help, you can not only work through the pain of rejection but also emerge from rejection with a healthy attitude and hopeful outlook.

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