Why INTJs Are So Attractive: What Your MBTI Says About You

By: Sarah Fader

Updated September 18, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Nicole Gaines, LPC

What Is The Meyers Briggs Personality Type Indicator?

The Meyers Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) is a type of assessment that tries to determine your personality type. It helps people figure out which of the 16 personality types best describes them, highlights their strengths and deficits, and can help you understand if you have the rarest personality. It is a free personality test that anyone can find easily online. Isabelle Meyers developed the MBTI with help from her mother, Katherine Briggs. As such, the MBTI is centered around the work of these women with Carl Jung's theory of personality types. Today, the MBTI is used across the world with a big percent of the population using the assessment.. It's a psychological tool that informs people about themselves, how they relate to the world, and what careers best suit them.

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

The First Draft of the MBTI

Isabelle Meyers and Katherine Briggs became fond of Carl Jung and his theory about psychological types. During World War II, the two began researching and creating an indicator to better understand how people differ from one another. They wanted to help human beings have self-knowledge and become better people. It was developed during the 1940s when Meyers and Briggs began testing it out on their loved ones. For their first assessment, the duo hand wrote the results for their family. After testing it out on their friends and family, they fine-tuned the assessment until we got the definitive version of the MBTI twenty years after its initial creation.

What Is The MBTI?

According to the MBTI, there are 16 different personality types. Thus, the assessment helps people learn more about their personality; what they enjoy, what they don't enjoy, their strengths and deficits, if they're more introverted or extroverted, what kind of workplace or career they function the best in, if they are a sensitive person or somebody thick-skinned, and how compatible they are with other personality types. One thing that's important to note about the MBTI is that it's not about one personality type being "better" or "worse" than the other; there's no way to ace this test because there are no right or wrong answers. The point is that there are so many different kinds of people in the world and that they all have different strengths. The MBTI exists to inform people that it is okay to have a different personality from others. This personality test highlights the differences people have from each other and shows how these unique traits are emblematic of how they represent themselves to the world. Having self-awareness can help you in nearly every area of your life, which is part of why the MBTI is so popular and so useful.

Four Scales

There are four scales used in the MBTI that determine your results:

Extroversion or Introversion (E or I)

The dichotomy between extroversion and introversion stems from Carl Jung. In Jung's theory of personality types, he focused on how human beings respond and interact with those around them. You may have heard of the terms extrovert and introvert, but in the MBTI as well as Jung's theory, they might present differently than you'd imagine. Extroverts are people who believe in taking action - it's not just that they like to be around others and enjoy going places where they can socialize, it's also that they feel energetic after spending time with others; their energy levels are boosted by spending time with other people. In a combination of intuition and confidence, extroverts always find ways to involve themselves in social situations. On the other hand, introverts are more thoughtful, and while they like to be engaged in meaningful social interactions, they don't necessarily enjoy socializing with anonymous people. They need time to recharge by themselves. Both introverts and extroverts can need alone time, but it's especially important for introverts; they require it to recuperate, and it makes them feel energized. In being alone, an introvert powerful and independent can sometimes act with an extroverted personality; But unlike extroverts, they cannot maintain a highly social personality for long.

Sensing or Intuition (S or N)

Here we talk about how people obtain information in the world. When it comes to differentiating these two qualities determined by the MBTI, people are either sensing or intuitive. If you get a result with N as the second letter (ENFP, for example), the N would mean that you're more intuitive. People who are on the intuitive side of things focus more on their intuition; they focus on patterns that they see, what possible things could happen, and they prefer an abstract theory as opposed to a definite reality. In this sense, intuition and thinking go hand-to-hand with each other. People who get the S or the "sensing" result are going to observe things, look at data, and think about how practical things are. Both personality types are indicative of an independent thinker; Somebody who analyzes the world around them and uses the information to create a definitive conclusion. Sensing or intuition can also relate to introverts and extroverts as well. For instance, introverted intuition is when people who may distance themselves from crowds are constantly focusing on how other people are interacting with each other and using these patterns to socialize themselves. They may also take the opportunity to not take part in conversations, instead feeling comfortable with staying in the shadows rather than taking action. Extroverts may take it upon themselves to ask others when either using intuition to guess patterns or “sensing” the result by obtaining data through social situations. They may also apply intuition and thinking by seeing the patterns in their environment and thinking about an abstract theory that relates to their current situation. 

Thinking and Feeling (T or F)

Here, we're focusing on whether you're more logical and fact oriented or if you focus more on how you feel about something. It's the sense of if logic or emotion tend to drive you more. You might be more on the "thinking" end or more on the "feeling" end, but as with all of the MBTI scales, they're just that; scales. Typically, people have some elements of both but lean towards one side, and some will lean to a specific side more than others. For example, people can have a combination of intuition and feelings to arrive at their conclusion.

Judging and Perceiving (J or P)

The last scale involves differentiating people who like to make decisions and are highly structured as opposed to those who are more flexible and find that they can adapt based on different things around them. Again, it's possible that you could have elements of both, and your result only tells you which one you learn towards more.

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

The Sixteen Personality Types

INFJ

INFJs focus on ideas. They're passionate about understanding people's motivations, they're extremely moral and have a clear sense of what their values are. They have a vision and want to serve humanity. They're highly decisive and want to implement their vision clearly. Their moral compass and understanding of others contribute to them as a sensitive person who cares about the people around them.

ISTJ

An ISTJ is a quiet and somewhat stern individual. They're highly practical and realistic. They rely on logic to make decisions and can focus regardless of those who are disorganized around them. As such, they come across as independent thinkers that come up with solutions that are more practical than fantastical. They're very loyal and care a lot about their family life.

ISFJ

These individuals are painstakingly loyal. They keep their commitments, and they want to be in an environment that's free of discord. Their work and home life are harmonious.

INTJ

INTJ women and men are someone unique in their perspective. Those with an INTJ personality type have highly original ideas and are naturally skeptical. They can see patterns in the world, and INTJ women and men are highly creative in addition to being very organized. They can make a plan and follow through on that plan. INTJ women and men tend to perform at a high level and impress those around them. This kind of personality is consider one of the rarest personalities to have as well.

ISFP

These people are kind and highly sensitive. They tend to be on the shy side, and they like to have personal space. They like to be around people on their own time and enjoy being alone. They're also highly motivated by their morals, but they don't like conflict or pushing their views on other people.

INFP

INFPs are highly idealistic. They understand how they feel about things on a very intuitive level. They want to live a life that honors the way that they feel morally. They want to understand those around them, and they're highly adaptable unless they feel that a moral corruption is threatening them. INFP, INTJ, and INFJs all are similar regarding their passion for living a life that is true to them.

INTP

These people are those that need logical explanations for different things and are highly analytical. INTPs tend to be quiet and are adaptable. They have the ability to hyperfocus and are great problem solvers. This is a great personality type for situations that call for a focus on analysis as well as adapting to different situations on a moment’s notice.

ESTP

These individuals are highly pragmatic by nature. They're results-oriented and don't need to hear an entire explanation for a problem. Rather, they want to deal with what's in front of them. They want to act and fix problems. As such, they are independent thinkers who derive solutions to problems without explanations.

ESFP

These individuals are highly outgoing and exuberant. They have common sense but are also fun and spontaneous. They like to learn from others.

ENFP

ENFPs have a warm personality and can make connections fast. They like to get information from people, and they appreciate others. They're typically spontaneous and can improvise at the drop of a hat. They're also highly articulate.

ENTP

These individuals are highly stimulating, extremely outspoken, and resourceful. They are good at understanding and reading people. They don't like routine; they want to mix things up. They like to look at different possibilities in a situation. ENTPs may also find themselves befriending introverts, thus their traits may also stand for introverted people who do not have the courage to start friendships with their own will power.

ESTJ

ENTJs are logical. They're decisive and like to pay attention to detail. They can be forceful if they feel as though they need to plan something. There are instances of introverted people having ESTJs personality traits. Thus, introverts powerful and independent can also be stubborn in planning for something that they believe will pay off in the end for everybody involved.

ESFJ

ESFJs are compassionate and like to get along with others. Their personality type leads them to being loyal and liking details. They want to be appreciated and feel like one of the best ways to be appreciated if people are outward with that affection. They like to have harmonious work and home life.

ENFJ

ENFJs are highly empathetic. They understand the needs of others as well as their motivations. They like to be praised, but they understand constructive criticism. They're good group leaders. While not the rarest personality, ENFJs are greatly appreciated for projects that need a good and reliable leader.

ENTJ

ENTJs like to be leaders. They're extremely good at pointing out things that are illogical and are skilled in pointing out flaws in organization. They enjoy planning and like to determine if things will or won't work.

Why Are INTJs So Attractive?

INTJ women and men  are attractive because they're extremely independent and INTJs are natural leaders. They want to find love, but they are particular, so it takes a lot to impress them. This is the case for both INTJ women and INTJ men. They have a clear vision of who they want to be with as a partner and don't want to have that superimposed on them. INTJ women and men want to build a life with a partner, but they're highly skeptical of people and need to see the value in a relationship because they want to be in a sustainable relationship. They want to plan their future, and they're mindful of what's happening. They want to see if a partnership is a feasible long-term commitment or if it's not going to work. They need to see the cost-benefit analysis. Though this seems like it may be cold, an INTJ is also someone who is a visionary by nature. INTJs are natural in seeing far into the future and wanting to make sure that their decisions in the present will make them and their spouse happy in the long run. INTJ women will plan out far in the future, so INTJ women don’t make mistakes in regards to their romantic life. They need to see how something is going to play out and want to be mindful of their partner's emotional needs as well as their practical needs. INTJ women and men want to satisfy the person that they're with, and that's attractive; not only are they planners, but they work hard to help others.

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

MBTI And Love

Regardless of your MBTI result, you can find a partner that you're compatible with. Your best match won't always be the same as you; sometimes, introverts date extroverts and it works out because the introvert gets alone time when the extrovert is out with their friends. An introvert dear to an extrovert will always work out so long as genuine love exists between the two individuals. Sometimes, extroverts date extroverts, and it works out because they go out and socialize together. Every relationship is different, but understanding who you're with and finding out what pleases them is extremely important. Sometimes, that's a hard thing to do, and online counseling or therapy can help. At Regain, we want you to have a good experience in a relationship with someone that cares about you. Relationships aren't easy, and sometimes, couples counseling is the answer to helping you and your partner communicate about your personalities and what both of you need. Search the network of therapists at ReGain today and find the right fit for you.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

Why are INTJs so weird?

INTJ personality types can be difficult to understand because they are not entirely open with their quirks or other personality traits. This applies to both INTJ women and INTJ men. An INTJ woman may seem off-putting at first, perhaps they do not engage with a social crowd or are constantly looking around. But they are only analyzing their surroundings. Female INTJs act like anybody else; they are human and are searching for patterns in their environment that they can understand and use to the best of their ability. Ultimately, INTJs are not weird; Truthfully, there is no reason to accuse anybody of being weird in a disrespectful manner. INTJs are representing themselves in a way that best fits their personality and that is an amazing thing to do. THere is nothing better than being comfortable in your own skin. If you find that there is somebody that stands out to you, perhaps if they are being “weird” or otherwise and you find that you are interested in them, then by all means see if you can start a friendship with them. In doing so, keep in mind the following tips about approaching INTJ women and men.

The ways that INTJ personality types can be approached are numerous. 

  • First, be friendly towards them and ask about how they are feeling. It does not matter if you are speaking to INTJ women or INTJ men, it is always important to start any relationship with a positive and friendly interaction. An INTJ woman can be incredibly warm and fun to be around so long as you get to know them personally first. 
  • Second, keep in mind their INTJ friends. There is a chance that INTJs will completely ignore you if they are conversing with friends or if you offend their friends in any way. Remember that the best thing to do is always be considerate of them. If you truly like them, then show respect to them and their friends as well. There is no reason to be standoffish with anybody for any reason. 
  • Next, treat them like human beings. There are no names for INTJ people; the only one you should be using is the name that they give you in the beginning of your conversation with them. You may be surprised when the INTJ woman or INTJ man start leading you through the conversation. INTJs are natural leaders which is one of many primary INTJ strengths
  • Lastly, learn more about the INTJ woman or man. INTJs are natural in wanting to plan out their schedule, so if you want to be with them more often, then plan out a future activity for the two of you. An INTJ personality type wants something specific, so be specific yourself in wanting to go out somewhere or being descriptive with your own intentions. One more thing to keep in mind is that INTJ women and men may not be open to you at first. If so, then do not see this as a sign that they are not interested. Instead, give them the time they need to be comfortable with you. 

Do INTJs care about looks?

INTJ women and men do not see looks as a deciding factor in pursuing a relationship. Rather than looks, INTJ women and men are looking much farther into the future when deciding their future with somebody else. INTJs are natural in planning out their futures as they are detail oriented and obsessed with making sure that everything in their future is perfect. They do not value looks as part of their obsessive planning since looks does not determine a person’s personality. INTJ women and men do not judge someone based on their appearances, but rather, who they are as a person and how they make them feel.

Instead of looks, INTJ women and men care about how a person represents themselves to themselves and other people. INTJ relationships are not one-sided; each person participates equally in providing love and comfort to one another. While INTJ women and men are not known for being open, that should not be a stopping point for the relationship. Instead, INTJ women and men’s negligence in being closed off should prove to be a challenge for you to understand who they are, why they close themselves off to the world, and how you can crack their shield even a little bit.

The best way to show an INTJ woman or man that you also do not care for looks is to make use of certain INTJ resources. Thus, keep in mind the following details when dealing with INTJ women or men:

  • Since INTJs are natural leaders, show them that you respect their confidence by being confident yourself. It does not matter what your personality type is; Just because a test tells you that you are timid does not mean that you should act that way all the time. If you truly care about your spouse, then be confident in yourself to show them that you care about their input and want to be on the same level as them. Introverts dear to INTJs can also exhibit a sense of confidence and be more energetic for the sake of a relationship.
  • Another tip is to not mistake INTJ women or men for not taking your emotions into account when they are planning something without your consent. If this happens, be confident and explain to them why you do not feel that it is fair that they did not consider you in their planning stages. In doing so, you are showing them your confidence as well as being considerate of your own well-being as well. 
  • Do not forget to consider that there is no such thing as a personality that cannot be compatible with another personality type. The rarest personality types can always pair with common ones, so if you feel like your relationship with an INTJ woman or man is going poorly, do not blame your personality type. 

Are Intj females attractive?

All female INTJs are attractive, and these qualities do not just derive from their physical appearance. As previously emphasized in an earlier FAQ question, Do INTJS care about looks, INTJs are not looking for physical appearances when they find somebody whom they would like to share their time with. As such, you should not be looking for female INTJs and judging them based on their physical looks. Instead, find time to be with female INTJs and understand them as a person.

In wanting to be in a relationship with an INTJ woman, please consider the following tips and in reading each tip, ask yourself how you would like others to see you. Do you want people to only see your physical looks or do you want them to see you as a human being with feelings and emotions?

  • Female INTJs are typically known for being closed off and lost in their own thoughts as per the description of an INTJ personality type. In understanding this, do you find that their behavior comes across as them only caring for themselves? If so, first consider a few possibilities. Maybe they are a rare INTJ female introvert in which they hide their confidence from you. In that case, talk to them more and see if you can have them open up to you. This may not take a day, but by being patient and knowing that your passion for this person is genuine, then they should be more open to you in due time. They may show you that INTJ female introverted powerful personality types are a good attractive quality.
  • Another tip to consider is that INTJ women don’t like being seen only for their looks. They are people as well and as such you should respect them enough to converse with them and know them as a person. Female INTJs are likely to quickly figure out if you are only interested in them for looks alone. In these instances, ask yourself if you are truly interested in them or if their looks are the only deciding factor in your interest. If the latter proves true, then perhaps it is important to reconsider what qualities you find important for a relationship. 
  • Thirdly, in searching for attractive qualities in female INTJs, take note of how their behavior makes you feel. When they take charge of any situation, such as playing a game or in any conversation, do you feel uncomfortable or are you admiring them? If you find that female INTJs look alluring when they are taking command, then this means that you are not judging them for their looks, but for their personality type as well. 

Who are INTJs most attracted to?

INTJs are most attracted to people whom they can see themselves having a future with as well as those who are open and honest to them. If you would like to know more about who INTJS are most attracted to, please refer to the following FAQ questions: “Do INTJs care about looks” and “Are Intj females attractive”. Each question focuses on what INTJs like and most importantly, how you can find out if you are attracted to INTJ females or males. In short, INTJs females and males are attracted to people who are considerate of an INTJ’s personality traits.   

How do you annoy an INTJ?

If you want to get the attention of an INTJ by annoying them, then perhaps first consider what you can do to approach them first and treat them like a person. During your conversation, if you would like to know how not to agitate an INTJ female or male, then there are a few tips you can consider. Please keep in mind that these tips are to know how to be considerate towards an INTJ female or male. There is no reason to annoy an INTJ or make rude comments toward them 

  • INTJ females or males do not like people who are dismissive of their habits or interests. INTJs are incredibly passionate about their likes and even dislikes. Since they spend much of their time making plans for people they like or activities they want to do, their dedication in their thoughts show their resolve. As such, there is no reason to disregard their interests or make fun of them.
  • Also think about how INTJ ladies may feel if you make your comments only about their appearance. There is more to a person than their looks. Therefore, do not make each of your comments about somebody’s appearance. Instead, talk about their interests or engage in productive conversations that are of interest to both of you. By doing so, a lady INTJ will take more interest in you as a person, which should be the overall goal if you are interested in them. Do not disrespect a lady INTJ or anybody else in general. It will not benefit you in the long run. 

How do you tell if an Intj likes you?

There are multiple ways to tell if an INTJ likes you depending on their behaviors and actions toward you.  In thinking about if an INTJ likes you, also ask yourself if you like them back. If you feel that they are making advances toward you that you do not like, then speak up as soon as you can. It is always important to know yourself when something goes too far. But if it has not gone too far and if you find yourself interested in the INTJ person in question, then here are a few tips that can help:

  • INTJs are highly likely to be closed off about their feelings and emotions. If you find that they are being open to you about their day or talking to you about other general things, then there is a chance that the INTJ feels comfortable around you that they can let their guard down. 
  • On the other hand, an INTJ may be more quiet around you than anybody else. If this is the case, then observe other things about their actions. First, how does the person interact with their male and female friends? INTJ women and men may act the same around their friends. If so, then they may have an introverted personality along with their strong individualistic spirit. There is no cause for concern as the rare INTJ female introverts may be a side to their personality that you may need to work around. If you have enough patience and care for the person enough, then you can see an INTJ female introvert powerful in opening up to you with their thoughts and emotions. Introverts dear to other people may take some time, but when it does happen, it will be satisfying to finally show that special someone that you are a trusting individual. 
  • Lastly, ask yourself if you like the INTJ person in question. INTJ women don’t like when somebody they are with shows disinterest in their interests. Famous INTJ qualities include being analytical, planning for every outcome, and being obsessive with their interests. If you find that you do not like these famous INTJ traits, then ask yourself if you are truly interested in an INTJ woman or man. 

How do INTJs show affection?

INTJ women and men show affection in different ways and it depends on the person. If you are attracted to INTJ women or men, then during your conversations, look out for a few traits to see if they are showing affection for you as a person. For example, INTJ women don’t like only being seen for their looks. If you show that you are interested in them for not their looks but for their personality as well, then the INTJ women will respond in kind by being more open with you. 

Remember that the most tested INTJ traits are that they are obsessive about their interests. Keep in mind that they do not care much for physical appearances but instead a person’s interests. So long as you show that you care about what they care about, than the INTJ in question will show you affection by being open and honest with you.

 

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