Why INTJs Are So Attractive: What Your MBTI Says About You
By Sarah Fader
Updated November 18, 2019
Reviewer Nicole Gaines, LPC
What Is The Meyers Briggs Personality Type Indicator?
The Meyers Briggs Personality Type Indicator is a type of assessment that's a self-reporting inventory. Based on theory, it helps people figure out whichof the 16 personality types they best describes them and it also highlights their strengths and deficits. The MBTI was developed by Isabelle Meyers and her mother, Katherine Briggs. The MBTI is centered around the work of these women with Carl Jung's theory of personality types. Today, the MBTI is used across the world in a variety of settings. It's a psychological tool that informs people about themselves, how they relate to the world, what careers would best suit them.
The First Draft of the MBTI
Isabelle Meyers and Katherine Briggs were extremely interested in Carl Jung and his theory about psychological types. During the period of World War II, the two began trying to research and create some sort of indicator to better understand how people differ from one another. They wanted to help human beings have self-knowledge and grow to understand who they were. The first version of this assessment was written down. It was developed during the 1940s when Meyers and Briggs began testing it out on their loved ones. After testing it out on their friends and family, they fine-tuned on this assessment in the following 20 years.
What Is The MBTI?
According to the MBTI, there are 16 different personality types. The goal of this assessment is that people will learn more about their personality; what they enjoy, what they don't enjoy, their strengths and deficits, if they're more introverted or extroverted, what kind of workplace or career they function the best in, and how compatible they are with other personality types. One thing that's extremely important to note about the MBTI is that it's not about one personality type being "better" or "worse" than the other; there's no way to ace this test because there are no right or wrong answers. The point is that there are so many different kinds of people in the world and that they all have different strengths. Knowing yourself is powerful. Having self-awareness can help you in nearly every area of your life, which is part of why the MBTI is so popular and so useful.
There are four scales used in the MBTI that determine your results:
Extroversion or Introversion (E or I)
The dichotomy between extroversion and introversion stems from Carl Jung. In Jung's theory of personality types, he focused on how human beings respond and interact with those around them. You may have heard of the terms extrovert and introvert, but in the MBTI as well as Jung's theory, they might present differently than you'd imagine. Extroverts are people who believe in action and taking action - it's not just that they like to be around others and enjoy going places where they can socialize, it's also that they feel energetic after spending time with others; their energy levels are boosted by spending time with other people. Introverts, on the other hand, are more thoughtful, and while like to be engaged in meaningful social interactions, they don't necessarily enjoy socializing with anonymous people. They need time to recharge by themselves. Both introverts and extroverts can need alone time, but it's especially important for introverts; they require it to recuperate, and it makes them feel energized.
Sensing or Intuition (S or N)
Here we talk about how people obtain information in the world. When it comes to differentiating these two qualities determined by the MBTI, people are either sensing or intuitive. If you get a result with N as the second letter (ENFP, for example), the N would mean that you're more intuitive. People who are on the intuitive side of things focus more on their intuition; they focus on patterns that they see, what possible things could happen, and they prefer an abstract theory as opposed to a definite reality. People who get the S or the "sensing" result are going to observe things, look at data, and think about how practical things are.
Thinking and Feeling (T or F)
Here, we're focusing on whether you're more logical and fact oriented or if you focus more on how you feel about something. It's the sense of if logic or emotion tend to drives you more. You might be more on the "thinking" end or more on the "feeling" end, but as with all of the MBTI scales, they're just that; scales. Typically, people have some elements of both but lean towards one side, and some will lean to a specific side more than others.
Judging and Perceiving (J or P)
The last scale involves differentiating people who like to make decisions and are highly structured as opposed to those who are more flexible and find that they can adapt based on different things around them. Again, it's possible that you could have elements of both, and your result only tells you which one you learn towards more.
The Sixteen Personality Types
INFJs focus on ideas. They're passionate about understanding people's motivations, they're extremely moral and have a clear sense of what their values are. They have a vision and want to serve humanity. They're highly decisive and want to implement their vision clearly.
An ISTJ is a quiet and somewhat stern individual. They're highly practical and realistic. They rely on logic to make decisions and can focus regardless of those who are disorganized around them. They're very loyal and care a lot about their family life.
These individuals are painstakingly loyal. They keep their commitments, and they want to be in an environment that's free of discord. Their work and home life are harmonious.
An INTJ is someone unique in their perspective. They have highly original ideas and are highly skeptical. They can see patterns in the world, and they're very creative in addition to being very organized. They can make a plan and follow through on that plan. They're able to perform at a high level and impress those around them.
These people are kind and highly sensitive. They tend to be on the shy side, and they like to have personal space. They like to be around people on their own time and enjoy being alone. They're also highly motivated by their morals, but they don't like conflict or pushing their views on other people.
INFPs are highly idealistic. They understand how they feel about things on a very intuitive level. They want to live a life that honors the way that they feel morally. They want to understand those around them, and they're highly adaptable unless they feel that a moral corruption is threatening them.
These people are those that need logical explanations for different things and are highly analytical. INTPs tend to be quiet and are adaptable. They have the ability to hyperfocus and are great problem solvers.
These individuals are highly pragmatic by nature. They're results-oriented and don't need to hear an entire explanation for a problem. Rather, they want to deal with what's in front of them. They want to act and fix problems.
These individuals are highly outgoing and exuberant. They have common sense but are also fun and spontaneous. They like to learn from others.
ENFPs have a warm personality and can make connections fast. They like to get information from people, and they appreciate others. They're typically spontaneous and can improvise at the drop of a hat. They're also highly articulate.
These individuals are highly stimulating, extremely outspoken, and resourceful. They are good at understanding and reading people. They don't like routine; they want to mix things up. They like to look at different possibilities in a situation.
ENTJs are logical. They're decisive and like to pay attention to detail. They can be forceful if they feel as though they need to plan something.
ESFJs are compassionate and like to get along with others. They're loyal and like details. They want to be appreciated and feel like one of the best ways to be appreciated if people are outward with that affection. They like to have harmonious work and home life.
ENFJs are highly empathetic. They understand the needs of others as well as their motivations. They like to be praised, but they understand constructive criticism. They're good group leaders.
ENTJs like to be leaders. They're extremely good at pointing out things that are illogical and are skilled in pointing out flaws in organization. They enjoy planning and like to determine if things will or won't work.
Why Are INTJs So Attractive?
INTJs are attractive because they're extremely independent. They want to find love, but they are particular, so it takes a lot to impress them. They have a clear vision of who they want to be with as a partner and don't want to have that superimposed on them. An INTJ wants to build a life with a partner, but they're highly skeptical of people and need to see the value in a relationship because they want to be in a sustainable relationship. They want to plan their future, and they're mindful of what's happening. They want to see if a partnership is a feasible long-term commitment or if it's not going to work. They need to see the cost-benefit analysis. Though this seems like it may be cold, an INTJ is also someone who is a visionary by nature. They need to see how something is going to play out and want to be mindful of their partner's emotional needs as well as their practical needs. They want to satisfy the person that they're with, and that's attractive; not only are they planners, but they work hard to help others.
MBTI And Love
Regardless of your MBTI result, you can find a partner that you're compatible with. Your best match won't always be the same as you; sometimes, introverts date extroverts and it works out because the introvert gets alone time when the extrovert is out with their friends. Sometimes, extroverts date extroverts, and it works out because they go out and socialize together. Every relationship is different, but understanding who you're with and finding out what pleases them is extremely important. Sometimes, that's a hard thing to do, and online counseling or therapy can help. At Regain, we want you to have a good experience in a relationship with someone that cares about you. Relationships aren't easy, and sometimes, couples counseling is the answer to helping you and your partner communicate about your personalities and what both of you need. Search the network of therapists at ReGain today and find the right fit for you.