What Are Women Attracted To?

There’s a lot of advice out there that claims to answer the question, “What are other people attracted to?” If you’ve ever browsed the magazines in the checkout section at the store, you’ve probably seen at least one or two headlines like “How to attract a woman” or “How to make yourself irresistible to the person of your dreams.” Sometimes, the advice you’ll see is appearance-based. Other times, it’s based on personality. In truth, there are many signs a woman may be attracted to someone.

Every once in a while, you might see some rather obscure advice about how to attract another person using subtle cues or specific phrases. All of this advice can be confusing, and some of it is downright false. Depending on where you get your advice, it could even lead you in a direction that’s opposite to where you want to be in your dating life. So, what might the person you’re interested in be attracted to? How do you find someone who's a good match for you? How do you make a woman want you?

How does attraction occur?

As you probably know, attraction varies from person to person. What attracts women to someone differs from woman to woman. However, if you’re wondering if any of the advice you see on attraction is real—or how that could be measured to begin with—it’s relevant to talk about the factors that might, according to research, influence attraction. By looking into these factors, you can easily identify some subtle signs a woman is attracted to you.

Many of us are interested in attraction and relationships, so it makes sense that there’s a large body of research on the topic. Researchers have looked at factors that can impact attraction, keeping in mind that there are several types of attraction. Here are some of the factors researchers have found to influence the occurrence of attraction:

Exposure

Studies show that the more you are around another person (aka, the more you are exposed to someone), the more likely you are to find yourself experiencing attraction to them. This is likely why some people who sleep together but do not want to make the relationship more than that choose not to hang out outside of sexual encounters.

Personality

Personality truly does make a difference. After all, it’s most likely what will keep you interested in someone after the initial physical attraction. Research shows that specific traits—for example, being helpful and honest—are seen as more attractive.

Pet ownership

What women sometimes find attractive is a man with a pet that’s well taken care of. It makes sense that a person who likes animals would be drawn to another person who likes animals. Research shows that this can influence attraction. More specifically, people with dogs were seen as more attractive than people without dogs in a particular study. Of course, make sure that you stay true to yourself. Don’t get a pet to attract another person, but know that if you do love animals, there’s no harm in making it known.

Deep conversations

If you’re afraid to be vulnerable or move past small talk, it might be holding you back from a relationship. Studies show that deep conversations show a greater chance of connection.

Physical traits

Aesthetic attraction is only one kind of attraction, but it can play a role in drawing you to someone or drawing someone toward you. As subjective as physical attraction is, research shows that physical features like facial symmetry are often seen as attractive.

What are the different types of attraction?

There are quite a few different types of attraction a person may experience, and it’s not limited to just what we see in romance movies and novels.

• Sexual attraction is pretty straightforward and does not require love and an emotional bond to be indulged in. Many of us may be sexually attracted to another person without really knowing much about them. Yet, something about their appearance or some of their initial personality traits we notice trigger intense feelings of lust and this particular form of attraction: simply the desire for sexual intercourse with another person.
• Romantic attraction can exist outside of sexual attraction, though they may go hand-in-hand later in a relationship. This is just the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone and often ties in with deep feelings of closeness. It may also be connected with certain friendships that grow more significant or sexual encounters that may lead to getting more acquainted and attracted in other ways to that other individual.
• Emotional attraction can apply to various types of relationships, ranging from romantic ones to friendships. This is the desire to engage in an emotionally open type of relationship with another human being. Being emotionally involved does not have to be romantic, although it can still be a part of some relationship equations. Generally, this applies to the level of comfort your experience with another person and how willing you are to be open with them when expressing yourself with them and forming a close, emotional bond.
• Physical attraction may be confused with sexual or aesthetic attraction. Still, it means being physically attracted to someone in the sense that you want to engage in physical contact with them of a non-sexual nature. For example, physical attraction may spark the desire to hug someone, sit close to them, put an arm around them, or even kiss them on the cheek.
• The aesthetic attraction may often get mixed up with physical attraction as far as correct term usage goes, but this is the attraction to another person’s appearance. It does not have to involve sexual attraction (though it can), nor does it always have to go alongside the physical attraction or the desire to touch and interact with that person physically (though it can). Aesthetic attraction is admiring someone’s physical appearance, but it can occur with no other specific intentions besides just finding them incredibly nice to look at.

You can experience multiple kinds of attraction, and in most romantic partnerships, you’ll experience more than one of the above. For example, even if you are on the asexual spectrum and don’t experience sexual attraction to the degree others might, you may still experience romantic, physical, emotional, and aesthetic attraction toward a person you’re dating or in a relationship with.

Mutual attraction: How do you find a good match?

Mutual attraction is when people are attracted to each other. So, if you’re attracted to someone and they’re not attracted to you, or vice versa, that isn’t mutual. Sometimes, we focus so much on what might make us attractive to other people that we lose sight of what matters: a compatible relationship where the feelings are mutual. When we’re in this headspace, we might ask ourselves, “How do I make them like me?” more than, “Is this a solid match?”

So, how do you find mutual attraction with a person who is a good fit for you?

Here are some questions to keep in mind:

• Do we want the same things?
• How do I want to be treated, and how do they want to be treated? Does that match up well?
• When it comes to the big stuff, do we have the same beliefs?
• Are our lifestyles compatible?

Of course, it may take some time. We can’t put a timeframe on when we will meet the right person or the right people. Additionally, these questions may be open for interpretation. 

You also have to believe someone when they tell you that they’re not compatible with you. For example, if they don’t want kids and you do, don’t expect them to change their minds.

Respect the person as an autonomous being and understand that they know what they want more than you do. When you meet new people, put what you want out there. Ask yourself what you genuinely want in a partnership and what matters to you at the end of the day. If applicable, you may also want to ensure that past wounds aren’t getting in the way. You don’t want to project something (i.e., “no one is attracted to me” or “everyone in this city is terrible”) onto someone you don’t know yet. This is very likely to be perceived negatively, which could drive a person away. Often, this is a defense mechanism for people who have been hurt in the past, but it could drive a positive relationship away before it starts.

Being the best version of yourself

You want to be true to yourself and be the best person that you can be. Make sure that you continue working on yourself while you seek a match. Do the things that you enjoy, work on self-confidence, and don’t be afraid to dive deep if there’s something that could negatively affect your relationships. This will help you stay grounded in who you are while you date and attract the right people. Just be the best version of yourself because this is one of the best ways of attracting women.

Gain vital relationship skills in online therapy

Are you pursuing someone and unsure of yourself? Have you been in relationships with people that haven’t worked before and need a bit of help starting on a new path to better partnerships for your future? Alternatively, are you coping with a breakup, having difficulty in a current relationship, or going through something unrelated to relationships, like life stress? If so, a counselor or therapist can help you.

Regain provides individual therapy and couples therapy, and all of the providers on the platform are experienced, licensed professionals. Therapy can help you gain confidence in relationships and navigate relationships healthily. 

Online therapy has become a popular way to work through issues associated with relationships. It can be difficult for some people to find time to travel to a therapist's physical office, or they might live in an area where therapists aren't available. Online therapy can solve both of these problems.

With Regain, you can be connected with a therapist trained to help with your particular situation. You can meet via text, phone, or video chat. Sessions can take place at a time that takes your schedule into account—and you can have them from the comfort of home.

Takeaway

Whether you see a provider through Regain or work with someone near you, you deserve to have fulfilling, happy partnerships full of mutual attraction.