What Is Infant Attachment And How Can You Create A Secure One?

Infants need a strong bond with a primary caregiver for healthy development and to thrive as adults. Here’s what you need to know about attachment theory and how to create a secure, life-long bond with your infant.

What is infant attachment?

Infant attachment is the bond a baby develops with the person who cares for it most often. It is the infant's first and most crucial bond. How well the infant forms an attachment to the person who cares for them can impact them for the rest of their life.

An infant's first attachment relationship is typically the mother, the father, a childcare worker, or anyone else who does the bulk of caring for the infant. Most importantly, it's the person who meets the child's survival needs when they cannot meet them alone.

Bowlby's attachment theory

John Bowlby was a psychoanalyst who studied the ways people bond with each other and developed his theory of attachment during the mid-1900s. Bowlby had worked in a home for maladjusted children early in his career. There, he found that many children in the home showed little affection to anyone. After talking with the children and their mothers, he found their bond had often been disrupted early in life.

Bowlby also studied the 44 Thieves Study, which examined juvenile delinquents' development. These children had not formed a strong bond with their primary caregiver, or a bond was formed but disrupted by the mother's absence or death.

Based on his research, Bowlby created his attachment theory stating that children needed a robust and enduring bond with their mothers. The theory also explained why Bowlby believed infant attachment is essential and what might happen if no such bond is created.

Biological need or attachment to one caregiver

Bowlby saw attachment as a process that developed during human evolution. It was a way for infants to survive in the often harsh conditions of early human life. Bowlby postulated that infants needed one primary caregiver. Having a central caregiver form a strong attachment increased the likelihood that that caregiver would meet the child's needs. This made it possible for children to survive until they could meet their own needs.

Maternal deprivation

Bowlby focused on the mother, but in recent years, fathers and other caregivers have become more likely to be the primary caregiver than when he was working on his theory. In many other cultures, children have multiple caregivers, but in Western culture, at least when Bowlby was developing his theory, the main caregiver was usually the mother. Thus, Bowlby called the lack of reliable care from the primary caregiver "maternal deprivation."

Ainsworth's contributions to attachment theory

Mary Ainsworth, who helped Bowlby formulate his attachment theory, went on to study attachment and stranger anxiety on her own. Her first significant work came from studies in Uganda relating to attachments between mothers and their infants.

Maternal sensitivity

As a part of her work in Uganda, Ainsworth visited mothers with their babies present. She noted how the mothers and infants interacted and that infants with secure attachments also had the most sensitive mothers.

The mothers who were sensitive to their infants cared for the babies' survival needs quickly and reliably and responded to the infant's emotional states, being playful when their infant was playful and comforting when their infant seemed fearful or upset.

The children whose mothers responded warmly, quickly, and reliably were less needy later in infancy than those whose mothers didn't respond in those ways. Ainsworth found that these children were emotionally strengthened by having the needed attention rather than being spoiled by too much attention.

Ainsworth's conclusions about this research prompted her to develop the concept of maternal sensitivity as a vital facet of infant attachment.

Ainsworth's Strange Situation Test

After returning home to Canada, Ainsworth developed the Strange Situation Test to determine how infants with and without attachments behaved differently in an unfamiliar situation.

The Strange Situation Test starts with a mother and her baby being brought into a lab. The child typically plays freely with the lab's toys as long as the mother is present.

Next, an unfamiliar lab assistant enters the room and begins playing with the infant. The mother leaves, and the lab assistant is alone with the infant. After that, the lab assistant returns, and then the mother returns.

Babies typically don't play as vigorously with the toys when the mother isn't present. They may show signs of separation anxiety when the mother leaves. The differences between the attachments different babies have already formed with their mothers before the test show up in their different behaviors when they return during the test.

In scoring the Strange Situation Test, Ainsworth included the number of minutes the child cried, their effort to get contact when the mother returned, how much initiative they showed, and whether they could get that contact.

Ainsworth found the following tendencies among her children:

• In a pleasant but unfamiliar setting, infants with a maternal attachment are most likely to show distress while the mother is gone but return to a happy state when the mother returns.

• In the same situation, infants with an insecure-avoidant maternal attachment usually explore less, then show no response to the mother when she leaves and returns.

• Infants with an insecure resistant/ambivalent attachment explore little, become very distressed when the mother leaves, and show resentment and even anger when they return.

• When infants have a disorganized insecure attachment, their responses are like a combination of resistant and avoidant behaviors.

Consequences of insecure attachment

Bowlby, Ainsworth, and others who studied attachment found that children with mental and behavioral problems as they got older had insecure attachments as infants. Life was hard for the child, the parents, and others who encountered those children. Child attachment can significantly impact happiness and mental health later in life.

How to create a infant attachment

Giving your infant everything they need to develop an attachment with you can give them a much happier and healthier life from birth through adulthood. So, how can you foster a secure attachment during the critical first two years of the child's life?

Be sensitive to what your infant needs

Your baby can't tell you in words what they need, so you need to notice their discomfort and distress. When they're fussy, check them to see if you can do anything to make them more comfortable physically. Notice when they need to be comforted and when they're in a playful mood. Also, be aware of when they're hungry or anxious so that you can respond to them appropriately.

Meet their needs promptly and reliably

What your child needs most from you is to meet their survival needs. If you can find out why they're distressed, the next step is to provide them with the necessary resources to meet those needs.

Be reliable so the infant feels safe. Move towards meeting their needs as soon as possible after you realize they need you. Your promptness and reliability can promote trust and attachment. Don't worry that this will spoil your child. Instead, it will likely help them become more independent as they age.

Understand the role of individual differences

Infants aren't all the same; they're genetically different, with different personalities, so they have various capacities for attachment. Your infant may not respond as quickly to you, but they can still form attachments when you show great sensitivity to their needs.

You must also be aware of your infant's temperament and unique stressors. Understanding how your baby differs from others isn't an excuse to ignore their needs. Instead, it may call for even greater care, attention, and reliability from you.

Can anyone help you create an infant attachment?

A robust support system can help you focus on your child's needs because your needs are being met more effectively. Elicit the help of friends and family to help you manage other duties when needed. Rely on them for emotional and social support, too, to help you stay emotionally available to your child.

Need more help? Consider online therapy

If you're concerned that your child isn't forming an attachment no matter what you do, talk to a therapist. They can help you develop strategies to create a stronger bond with your child or just help you work through your feelings about parenthood. 

If you’re interested in therapy but don’t feel like you have time to commit to in-person sessions, consider online treatment. With online therapy, you attend sessions from the comfort of your home, or anywhere you have an internet connection. You don’t have to worry about commuting to an office or being on a waiting list. When you sign up for online therapy, you’re matched with a vetted qualified therapist who can start helping you right away. One review of 14 studies comparing face-to-face and online treatment found they were equally effective. If you want to learn more, sign up with Regain to get started.

Takeaway

A secure infant attachment can affect a child’s development well into adulthood. If you need help figuring out how to build a secure attachment with your infant or have other parenting challenges, online therapy can help.