Use Couple Therapy Questions To Understand Your Partner

Updated January 27, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

When you first enter into a relationship, you probably think that you and your partner are perfect for each other. As you get to know each other more and more, you think that you know everything there is to know about each other. However, it's important that you look beyond what you might think is important and looks at some of the other aspects of who your partner is.

One of the most common problems couples run into is seeing each other as "partners" rather than as "people." This limits your relationship by keeping it shallow. After all, couples are made up of two people. That means that if you see your partner as your "other half" and they see you as their "other half," there are two halves unaccounted for. You might know everything there is to know about your partner, but do you know everything there is about that person?

Thinking that you know a person when you know a partner can put your relationship in danger. People grow and change over time, and if you don't really know their person sitting next to you on the couch, you could be growing apart. Growing as people isn't a bad or dangerous thing - you need to make sure that you have a relationship that can grow and change.

A couple of therapists can help you with that.

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How Couple Therapy Can Help

One of the biggest and most tragic misconceptions about couple therapy is that the relationship needs to be already falling apart for the couple to begin therapy. The sooner you bring a problem to a couple of therapists, the more likely they are to be able to help. In fact, some couples begin couple therapy without noticing a problem and find that it still strengthens their relationship, similar to how some people find that they benefit from therapy without having a diagnosed disorder. Having this kind of attitude can help encourage you to find a couple of therapists who is right for you before it's too late. It can also help to keep a couple of therapy from seeming like something scary. Couple therapy shouldn't be scary; it should be exciting!

So, what can a couple of therapy do for you?

Most couple therapy is about learning how to communicate with your partner. Of course, you know how to talk to your partner, but there are different methods and levels of communication. After all, you don't communicate with your partner in the same way that you talk to your barber, right? Learning these methods and styles of communication can help you and your partner better understands each other and grow closer together - even if you don't notice a problem.

One way that couple therapy helps you understand communication is by encouraging you and your partner to ask each other questions. A couple of therapy, such as questions for married couples or premarital questions, can help you with the communication process by helping you delve even deeper into what really makes each of you who you are.

If you pursue a couple of therapy, your experience will be different based on you and your partner and your unique circumstances and the couple therapist you see. However, we've compiled a list of common couple therapy questions and annotated them with notes on asking them and exploring the responses. Some of them are questions that you may not have thought to ask. Others are important couples intimacy questions that you have probably discussed and considered the subject closed, unaware that the answers can change over time. Other questions are questions that you may not have ever asked because you assumed the answer. Regardless, try to ask all of the questions seriously, even if they seem silly or the answers seem obvious. You may learn something.

Look at this as a trial rather than as a replacement for couple therapy. If you enjoy these questions or find that asking them and talking about them with your partner strengthened your relationship, consider talking to a couple of therapists for even more help.

Couple Therapy Questions

There are all kinds of questions that you might be asked if you and your partner decide to go to therapy, and working through some of them on your own before you go can help you a whole lot more than you might think. You'll have time to discuss the answers together and get to know one another even better, maybe even keeping yourselves from needing that therapy in the first place. In order to better understand how they apply to you and what they mean to both of you, please take a look at some of these questions, such as the relationship counseling questions.

Where Do You See Yourself In 10 Years?

You might have been asked this question at a job interview or while applying to colleges. But, has your partner ever asked you? Have you ever asked your partner?

What's your plan for the future? What kind of outlook do each of you have for your future, and how will it affect how you live your life together? Knowing what each of you wants for your future will help you understand if this person is compatible with you. If you have different views for your future, it may mean difficulties ahead, after all. That doesn't mean that you and your partner need to have the same life goals (although that may be the case, for example, whether or not you want to have kids), but if you're going to  a future, your goals have to be able to work together.

What Do We Expect In Our Marriage?

Think about what you expect for yourself in the marriage and what you want from your partner. Then, think about what your partner wants for both of you. This will be important because it will help you both figure out how to work together to be successful and know what each of you wants.

How Will We Handle Finances?

Knowing how the two of you will handle the money that comes in and the money you spend is extremely important. Whether one of you will be in charge of all the money, or you're both going to split the money 50/50, or you're going to spend only what you earn, it's important to know what you're getting into what the plan is.

These days, as premarital cohabitation becomes increasingly common, more and more couples are skipping this question about how they handled their finances before getting married, just kind of roll over into their married life. However, being married changes your legal status, so it might make sense to ask this question if you skipped over it early in your relationship.

Even if you have asked this question before, you should ask it again. And again. Your financial situation can repeatedly change during a relationship. Every time that one of you gets a promotion or a raise or goods through a career change, ask this question again.

What Does Marriage Mean To You?

Talk to your partner about what the relationship really means for them. After all, you want to make sure that you are both on the same page with how important this commitment is. If one of you thinks it's more important than the other, it could be a problem for the relationship later on.

Further, this question is much more nuanced for some couples than it is for others. There are a lot of different reasons to get married. Your religious community, legal status, financial background, and other factors can all change what the marriage means to you, and these factors can change over time. The answer can also change as you go through major life changes, like having children or seeing death in the family.

What Is The Role Of Your In-Laws?

If your parents are extremely important to you, you may want to talk with your partner about how they will influence your relationship.

You want to make sure that your partner is comfortable with you spending a lot of time with your parents and comfortable with them doing the same.

This question is also important if one or both sets of in-laws want to be particularly involved in your marriage by doing things like helping out financially or offering advice. The roles that in-laws play in a relationship may also change if you have kids or if one of you develops a health issue.

On the other hand, if you and your partner are in middle age or older, you may be having a discussion about an in-law in advanced age moving in with you rather than living alone or in a care home. This can significantly affect the relationship, especially if you don't talk about it until you have to.

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Thinking About Couple Therapy?

Hopefully, the questions above have given you quite a bit of food for thought. Maybe they've even left you hungry for more. If that's the case, couple therapy or answering marriage counseling questions may be your next step.

If you're looking for a therapist who can help you and your partner, then you want someone you can trust and rely on. That's where ReGain can help you. With a team of psychiatrists and other professionals who are available via your internet connection any time you want them, you're going to be more than happy with what you find and the help you get. To learn more about how online couple therapy works and how it can help you, click on the link in this paragraph.

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