Finding Couples Therapy Near Me
By: Stephanie Kirby
Updated May 13, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn
Do you and your partner struggle to get along? Maybe you have some great times, but then you also have some not so great times. If you're starting to have some troubles, then you might be trying to find some help, but it's not always as easy as you think it will be. You've probably been looked up several options in 'finding couples therapy near me,' but maybe you've just been hitting a dead end. Well, the truth is that a lot of people are in your situation, but you don't need to be anymore. You can get out of that slump.
Finding Couples Therapy Near Me
So, just what are you going to do about finding the couples therapy you need? Well, the first thing you're going to do is look at your computer. I know, you've already looked online, right? But you haven't looked in one place that could be just what you need, ReGain. It's a completely online system that helps you and your partner talk to a professional no matter where you are located, and no matter where they are located. That's because all you need is an internet connection and you can set up appointments (and 'attend' your appointments) online.
With this system, you have far more options when it comes to who you're going to talk to. You're also going to have a lot more freedom because even if you and your partner go on vacation or for work trips (separately or together), you can still make it to all of your therapy sessions. If the weather is bad in your area, no problem. You can still make it to your therapy session. You just need a comfortable place to sit and an internet connection, and you're ready to go.
What To Try First
Is couples therapy really what you and your partner need? Is it going to get you the help you're looking for, or should you be starting somewhere else? Talking with a professional who is outside of the relationship can help you to resolve your differences, even if they're minor. But there may be things that you and your partner can do first to help with the problems you're facing.
Talk It Out
This is the number one thing that you and your partner need to do. Just talk. It doesn't sound so hard, right? And if you're like most couples you probably already think that you're talking enough. You might feel like you keep talking and talking, and your partner isn't listening to you. Well, chances are your partner feels the same way. The important thing is to be open with them about what you're feeling and what you want to be happy in your relationship. After all, if they don't know, then it's only going to be by pure luck that they stumble across what makes you happy (and that rarely happens).
By sitting down and talking with your partner whenever possible, you'll be setting both of you (and your relationship) up for much better success. You'll be able to tell them when you like something or when you don't like something, and you'll be able to work with them to resolve any problems that you might have in your relationship. That's going to be an important aspect because otherwise you're both working separately and you're setting yourselves up for failure.
Stop talking to your friends about it
We tend to take our troubles to our friends, even our marriage issues. However, this is usually not helpful for your relationship. Instead of getting the help that you need, like you would get from a therapist, you get someone that's going to take your side.
Our friends tend to agree with whatever we are saying about our significant other. So, instead of providing you with real honest feedback that you may need to hear, they jump in and bash the other person with you. The problem with this is that relational problems always have two sides. If you are unwilling to see where you might have gone wrong, many times a friend isn't the best person to point it out to you. Instead, they are going to try to support you and blame the other person.
So, if you want to work through your relationship trouble, stop taking your problems to your friends unless you have a friend that isn't afraid to tell you the truth even if you aren't going to want to hear it.
Work At It
Any relationship that is worth having is worth working for. It's not always going to be easy. You and your partner are not always going to get along, and you're not always going to agree about everything. You're going to have to make compromises, and you're going to have to put some effort into changing yourself to make them happier in the relationship.
Of course, you shouldn't change who you are as a person or even attempt to. The changes that you may have to make are putting in a little more effort to help around the house or coming home from work a little earlier once in a while.
Changes to the lifestyles that you both have could help each of you to feel more comfortable and confident in the relationship. Making these changes will take some work though because you're both going to have to talk to each other about just what it is you want and how you think that each of you should go about getting it. Talk about what your partner can do to do to make you happy, listen to what would make them happy and then start on those changes for yourself.
Focus on yourself
We tend to focus on what's wrong with the other person and what they're doing that we don't like instead of focusing on ourselves. If you want to work on your relationship, then start being the person that you wish you had. Instead of just thinking about everything you aren't getting, start seeing where you could improve. What could you do differently that could improve the relationship?
You are only in control of yourself, your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors. You can't control the other person, and the sooner you realize that, the better.
Think back on the beginning
It can be incredibly helpful to think back to the beginning. Why are you with the person in the first place? What drew you to them? Remember all the good times that you have had and use those as motivation to continue improving your relationship. When going through a difficult time, it's easy to think that the whole relationship is bad when in fact that isn't true.
What to look for in a therapist
If you and your partner have decided to move forward with counseling, there are a few things that you should keep in mind. It is crucial that both you and your partner are comfortable with the therapist that you work with. If not, it's going to throw a wrench in the counseling process.
You both need to feel that you are being heard and supported in therapy. If the therapist seems to be taking one side over another, you aren't going to be able to make the progress that you're looking for.
You also want to choose a therapist that is easy for both of you to get to if you are working with. You could be going to appointments once a week or more, so you want it to be convenient. That's one reason why online therapy can be a good option. It's also helpful for couples that have children, so they don't have to find a babysitter to go to therapy.
You also want to look for a therapist that specializes in working with relationships. Many therapists are licensed to provide therapy and can work with couples, but they may also work with many other people with different mental health conditions or stresses in their lives. When you work with a therapist that focuses on relationships, you are getting someone that will know the best strategies to help you improve your relationship with your partner.
Make A Choice
It's an unfortunate truth about the whole thing that you'll have to choose in the end. You're going to have to look at the things that your partner wants from you and the things that you want from them and make a decision about the relationship. Do you want to make those changes? Do they want to make those changes? If not, then you have to decide if you want to continue with the relationship. It may be that your relationship is winding down and there's nothing either of you wants to do to stop it, and that's okay.
Talk with your partner about your thoughts and feelings before you decide the relationship is over. More than that, talk with a therapist about the possibilities and the things that each of you are feeling to get a better understanding of just what you can and can't do in your relationship. Maybe a therapist will help you realize that there is a chance for your relationship. Perhaps they'll help you know that your relationship is done.
Either way, they can help you to feel more comfortable and confident with the decision that you make. Even better, it can all be done without leaving home.