Do you and your partner struggle to get along? Maybe you have some great times, but then you also have some not-so-great times. If you're starting to have some troubles, then you might be trying to find some help, but it's not always as easy as you think it will be. You've probably been looked up several options in 'finding couples therapy near me,' but maybe you've just been hitting a dead end. Well, the truth is that a lot of people are in your situation, but you don't need to be anymore. You can get out of that slump.
Finding Couples Therapy Near Me
So, just what are you going to do about finding the couples therapy you need? Well, the first thing you're going to do is look at your computer. I know, you've already looked online, right? But you haven't looked in one place that could be just what you need, ReGain. It's a completely online system that helps you and your partner talk to a professional no matter where you are located and where they are located. That's because all you need is an internet connection, and you can set up appointments (and 'attend' your appointments) online.
With this system, you have far more options when it comes to who you're going to talk to. You're also going to have a lot more freedom because even if you and your partner go on vacation or for work trips (separately or together), you can still make it to all of your therapy sessions if the weather is bad in your area. No problem. You can still make it to your therapy session. You need a comfortable place to sit and an internet connection, and you're ready to go.
What To Try First
Is couples therapy really what you and your partner need? Is it going to get you the help you're looking for, or should you be starting somewhere else? Talking with a professional outside of the relationship can help you resolve your differences, even if they're minor. But there may be things that you and your partner can do to help with your facing problems.
Talk It Out
This is the number one thing that you and your partner need to do. Just talk. It doesn't sound so hard, right? And if you're like most couples, you probably already think that you're talking enough. You might feel like you keep talking and talking, and your partner isn't listening to you. Well, chances are your partner feels the same way. The important thing is to be open with them about what you're feeling and what you want to be happy in your relationship. After all, if they don't know, then it's only going to be by pure luck that they stumble across what makes you happy (and that rarely happens).
By sitting down and talking with your partner whenever possible, you'll be setting both of you (and your relationship) up for much better success. You'll be able to tell them when you like something or when you don't like something, and you'll be able to work with them to resolve any problems that you might have in your relationship. That's going to be an important aspect because otherwise, you're both working separately, and you're setting yourselves up for failure.
Stop talking to your friends about it.
We tend to take our troubles to our friends, even our marriage issues. However, this is usually not helpful for your relationship. Instead of getting the help, you need, as you would get from a therapist, you get someone who will take your side.
Our friends tend to agree with whatever we are saying about our significant other. So, instead of providing you with real honest feedback that you may need to hear, they jump in and bash the other person with you. The problem with this is that relational problems always have two sides. If you are unwilling to see where you might have gone wrong many times, a friend isn't the best person to point it out to you. Instead, they are going to try to support you and blame the other person.
If you want to work through your relationship trouble, stop taking your problems to your friends unless you have a friend who isn't afraid to tell you the truth even if you aren't going to want to hear it.
Work At It
Any relationship that is worth having is worth working for. It's not always going to be easy. You and your partner are not always going to get along, and you're not always going to agree about everything. You're going to have to make compromises, and you're going to have to put some effort into changing yourself to make them happier in the relationship.
Of course, you shouldn't change who you are as a person or even attempt to. The changes that you may have to make are putting in a little more effort to help around the house or coming home from work a little earlier once in a while.
Changes to the lifestyles that you both have could help you feel more comfortable and confident in the relationship. Making these changes will take some work, though, because you're both going to have to talk to each other about just what it is you want and how you think that each of you should go about getting it. Talk about what your partner can do to do to make you happy, listen to what would make them happy, and then start on those changes for yourself.
Focus on yourself
We tend to focus on what's wrong with the other person and what they're doing that we don't like instead of focusing on ourselves. If you want to work on your relationship, start being the person you wish you had. Instead of just thinking about everything you aren't getting, start seeing where you could improve. What could you do differently that could improve the relationship?
You are only in control of yourself, your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors. You can't control the other person, and the sooner you realize that, the better.
Think back on the beginning
It can be incredibly helpful to think back to the beginning. Why are you with the person in the first place? What drew you to them? Remember all the good times you have had and use those as motivation to continue improving your relationship. When going through a difficult time, it's easy to think that the whole relationship is bad when that isn't true.
What to look for in a therapist
If you and your partner have decided to move forward with counseling, there are a few things that you should keep in mind. Both you and your partner must be comfortable with the therapist that you work with. If not, it's going to throw a wrench in the counseling process.
You both need to feel that you are being heard and supported in therapy. If the therapist seems to be taking one side over another, you will not make the progress you're looking for.
You also want to choose a therapist that is easy for both of you to get to if you are working with. You could be going to appointments once a week or more, so you want it convenient. That's one reason why online therapy can be a good option. It's also helpful for couples with children, so they don't have to find a babysitter to go to therapy.
You also want to look for a therapist that specializes in working with relationships. Many therapists are licensed to provide therapy and can work with couples, but they may also work with many other people with different mental health conditions or stresses in their lives. When you work with a therapist that focuses on relationships, you are getting someone that will know the best strategies to help you improve your relationship with your partner.
Make A Choice
It's an unfortunate truth about the whole thing that you'll have to choose in the end. You're going to have to look at what your partner wants from you and what you want from them and decide about the relationship. Do you want to make those changes? Do they want to make those changes? If not, then you have to decide if you want to continue with the relationship. It may be that your relationship is winding down, and there's nothing either of you wants to do to stop it, and that's okay.
Talk with your partner about your thoughts and feelings before you decide the relationship is over. More than that, talk with a therapist about the possibilities and things that each of you feels to understand better what you can and can't do in your relationship. Maybe a therapist will help you realize that there is a chance for your relationship. Perhaps they'll help you know that your relationship is done.
Either way, they can help you feel more comfortable and confident with your decision. Even better, it can all be done without leaving home.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How much does couples therapy cost?
Every couple has their disagreements from time to time. However, when disagreements turn into constant conflict, it can cause a divide in a relationship that may result in the relationship ending if proper steps aren't taken to mend it. A popular and healthy option for couples looking to fix problems in their relationship is couples counseling. Couples counseling can help partners communicate with each other in a neutral environment guided by a couples therapist. However, while couples counseling is a healthy and responsible choice in resolving conflict, many people find it difficult to afford a couples therapist. Some couples therapists are cheaper than others.
This often causes couples to avoid treatment if they are worried about the price. Some couples find themselves unable to afford a couples therapist.
Typically speaking, a couples therapist costs around $150 to $300 per session in the United States. Each session is around 90 minutes long. During your first session with a couples therapist, they will probably provide you with a course of action for your next sessions and get to know you as a couple to see where your relationship stands. The total amount of sessions you need for couples counseling will depend on the unique situation that you and your partner have.
Alternatively, if you are looking for couples counseling but do not want to pay for in-person therapy, you do have the option to try counseling with a couples therapist online. Generally speaking, couples counseling online is more convenient for people and can be more affordable. However, by searching "couples therapist near me” online, you may also be able to find affordable therapists in your area.
Is couples therapy covered by health insurance?
While most health insurance companies will cover individual therapy sessions, they do not typically cover couples counseling. Unlike individual counseling covered under the "medical condition" portion provided by insurance companies, couples counseling is deemed more a choice than a physical or mental health condition that would require a medical diagnosis.
If you and your partner are looking for a couples therapist but cannot afford the treatment for an in-person experience, the best option you have is to look for couples counseling online. It is generally more affordable and convenient for helping couples who may have busy schedules.
What is the best therapy for couples?
Contrary to popular belief, there is more than one form of therapy known for helping couples. Depending on your relationship's unique circumstances, one type of couples counseling method may be more tailored to your needs than another.
That being said, here are some of the best couples therapy methods that are available:
1. Imago Couples Counseling
With an imago couples therapist, you will focus on healing and growing together with your partner. This type of therapy will encourage you and your partner to open up about your past experiences, problems you faced during childhood, any trauma you have experienced, and more. The goal of this is to help you and your partner grow closer together by getting to know one another personally on an emotional and romantic level. This type of therapy tends to focus on how childhood experiences may affect your relationship in the future.
2. The Gottman Method
When you go to a couples therapist who utilizes the Gottman Method, you will be focusing on several significant components in your life that will help you and your partner get to know each other.
3. Family Therapy
With a family therapist, you and your partner and sometimes other members of your family will work out conflicts. A marriage and family therapist tends to deal with more overarching conflicts that don't necessarily involve just the couple themselves but may affect the whole family. At the same time, a marriage and family therapist may work solely with the couple; it's just often more of a group therapy setting that you will experience or be encouraged to try. Not all couples find this method helpful if there is no one else involved in their conflict.
To find therapists that practice these types of therapeutic practices, try researching "couples therapist near me" online, and you should come up with numerous options to help you out.
Is couples therapy covered by Medicare?
Yes, Medicare does often cover couples therapists under part B. Medicare will likely cover up to 80% of a couples therapist's cost if recommended or provided to you by a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, clinical social worker, physician, or nurse specializing in counseling.
That being said, Medicare will probably not cover treatment by a marriage and family therapist unless your marriage and family therapist works for a clinical facility.
What to do when you can't afford couples therapy?
When seeking help from a couples therapist, not all couples can afford traditional therapy methods, as they tend to be quite expensive. For example, a 90-minute session with a couples therapist can cost you anywhere from $150 to $300. Several sessions are usually required.
For couples who cannot afford this type of therapy in person, the best couples therapy you will find next to this will likely be online. When you go online to BetterHelp and ReGain, you can seek couples and family therapists for a much more affordable price. That being said, if you are still unable to afford a family therapist online, here are some methods that can help you and your partner through your conflict:
What is the difference between marriage counseling and couples therapy?
When couples see a marriage counselor instead of a couples therapist, there are some differences that people may not be aware of. While these types of therapy are sometimes used interchangeably, there can be some differences that you should know before deciding which one you should choose.
Here are some of the generally accepted differences:
Is it worth going to couples counseling?
For many couples, yes, it is worth going to couples counseling. It is an effective way to assist partners in learning how to cope and handle the types of stress they are experiencing in their relationship.
While couples counseling can be more of a short-term option for couples, it could help you and your partner learn how to communicate healthily with each other so you can focus on moving forward. That being said, both partners in the relationship must participate in couples counseling sessions. It will not work if one of you is not committed to making things work.
Therefore, the effectiveness of couples counseling will be what you put into it at the beginning and what you are searching for as a result. Some people may even utilize couples counseling as a way to prove that they have tried everything to make a relationship work before accepting that a relationship may be destined to end.
Does couple therapy really work?
Yes, couples therapy does work for many partners. There can be a stigma around couples therapy that makes couples afraid to begin any form of treatment together. However, it is a very therapeutic process that can help save your relationship.
Couples therapy is more long-term than couples counseling and focuses on getting to the roots of problems so you can identify what is causing you to have these challenges in your relationship. However, you are only going to get out what you put into your therapy sessions. Therefore, it is encouraged that you and your partner are equally invested in working on your problems so you can move forward and begin repairing your relationship. A willingness to improve and a dedication to making the relationship work can boost couples' therapy.