Is Your Relationship Affected By PTSD? Psychologists Can Help

Though post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has the potential to affect many areas of our lives, we can try to control the impact it has on our relationships. You deserve to have a healthy relationship free from the struggles that PTSD can present. If you are willing to take the necessary steps, you can minimize its impact, improve your and your partner's mental health, and increase the likelihood of success in the relationship while also working toward overcoming PTSD.

What is PTSD? Psychologists’ definition

Post-traumatic stress disorder affects those who go through some form of trauma. Many different types of trauma can result in PTSD. Some examples include going through a natural disaster or witnessing or experiencing acts of war. Many people, though, have PTSD as a result of relationship problems. Some of these issues are:

• Violence

• Assault

• Infidelity

• Death of a loved one

• Kidnapping

The effects of these things happening to you or your partner can influence other areas of your life in many ways. Identifying and understanding how they manifest themselves will better equip you to cope and work through them healthily. Ultimately, if you want a healthy and happy relationship with someone with PTSD, it’s vital to play a supportive role in their life, or vice-versa if you are experiencing PTSD.

The effects of PTSD on your relationship

When it comes to relationships, the effects of PTSD can manifest themselves in many different ways. Some examples include:

• Withdrawing in social situations

• Being quick to anger

• Inconsistent behavior

• Intimacy problems

• Difficulty resolving conflict

• Trust issues

Here’s a breakdown of each:

Withdrawing in social situations

The effects of PTSD can be unpredictable and, in many cases, uncontrollable. For example, if your loved one has PTSD due to involvement in a war, loud noises or groups of people could cause negative or unpleasant emotions, potentially resulting in things like them feeling so overwhelmed that they abruptly leave the situation.

Consequently, being involved in social situations or certain events could be a struggle for this person. This could apply to any time or place where there are large gatherings, including concerts, restaurants, grocery stores, and more. For someone who doesn't have PTSD, it can be challenging to understand why a person may have these struggles. Sometimes, everyday occurrences that are not alarming to the average person could be upsetting for someone with PTSD. But when you don't understand these behaviors or stressors, it could become frustrating or alienating to the individual with PTSD.

It is important to note that what your partner is going through is not their fault. Undoubtedly, the thing they need most in these moments is support.

Being quick to anger

For someone with PTSD, it can be difficult to control emotions for several reasons. The first involves how this person manages and responds to stressful situations. Sometimes, the anger may not directly relate to the PTSD but to its side effects. For example, anxiety, fear, or stress cause anger in some people with PTSD. And if there is a combination of disorders, such as anxiety or depression, the severity of the anger could significantly increase. 

Another reason someone with PTSD might be quick to anger is called hyperarousal. The basic description of this is a constant state of “fight or flight." This causes heightened anxiety and can affect all sorts of things in your partner's life. Feeling constantly on guard around your loved ones causes significant distress, so even the most minor inconveniences could cause a significant reaction in someone struggling with PTSD.

Psychologists have found that people with PTSD can improve these symptoms and results with the correct intervention. This means the constant anger you and your partner may be dealing with doesn't have to last forever. The road won't always be a simple one to go down, but you can overcome this together. As long as you are willing to put in the work, the benefits you will likely experience will be well worth it.

Inconsistent behavior

One of the most common symptoms of PTSD is flashbacks. Flashbacks can happen at any time, including during waking hours and sleep, via intense dreams, and can show up due to things you may not even notice. To a hyper-aware individual with PTSD, a trigger may be as simple as a car driving by. When something is seen or heard that brings someone with PTSD back to their time of trauma, their behavior might change as they may be reverting to the time they experienced the trauma in the first place. It also might manifest pure anxiety or raw feelings experienced during this flashback.

Another common symptom of PTSD is experiencing intense emotions. Because of the state of hyperarousal that your loved one is often in, they might be super in tune with their feelings. This can be a good thing when you are both in a good place mentally, which means the positive emotions you experience could be extra rewarding. When you have an argument or are in bad spirits, though, this may not feel like such a good thing.

Extreme feelings of regret or guilt are extremely common among people with PTSD. These feelings can pop up out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason at all at times. When you are in a relationship with someone who exhibits these behaviors, it can be challenging to determine their reasoning for acting this way. The best way to cope and help your partner with this is to listen and let them explain their feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, it may be beneficial to provide them with some space to come down from the feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger, or whatever emotional state was triggered for them so that they can process this and not react to you from that hyperemotional state.

If you are overwhelmed with the effects of PTSD, psychologists and counselors can help. PTSD has been studied immensely over the last several decades, and professionals deeply understand the available treatments. They can implement many strategies and approaches into your relationship to help you cope and understand your partner. If you are unsure how to be the support person your partner needs, a psychologist or counselor can also help you navigate that as well.

When to get help

PTSD is complex and can lead to many negative behaviors and outcomes if left untreated. It can bleed into virtually all aspects of one’s life, often at unexpected times and in unexpected ways. You should consult the help of a trained professional if you or your loved one suspects they are struggling with this disorder so that you can better understand yourself, your partner, the condition, and any associated difficulties that may arise.

If you have decided that you are ready to see PTSD-focused counselors or psychologists, but aren't sure where to start, consider online therapy. With online therapy, you can attend sessions right from the comfort of home or anywhere you have an internet connection, and you can communicate with your therapist via text, phone, email, or video chat. When you sign up, you’re matched with someone who can start helping you right away, so you don’t have to worry about being on a waiting list. Research shows that in most cases, online therapy was just as effective at reducing PTSD symptoms as in-person treatment, and veterans reported high satisfaction levels. If you’re ready to take the next step, sign up for Regain to get started.

Takeaway

Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD or having PTSD yourself and trying to maintain relationships is not always easy. Professional guidance can help you healthily and mindfully navigate PTSD and your relationships.