What You Should Look For In Marriage Counseling Books
Many people are interested in marriage counseling and how it could benefit their relationship, but working directly with a therapist isn’t an option for one reason or another. While working toward couples therapy, reading marriage counseling books with your partner can be an excellent way to prepare for treatment, showing willingness and effort to make the marriage work. Read on to explore how marriage counseling can repair and strengthen the emotional and physical connection between partners and how to choose a couples therapy book that fits your needs and situation.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling, also frequently called couples therapy or couples counseling, is a branch of talk therapy intended to help romantic partners overcome problems and build healthy relationships so they can face future challenges together. Attending therapeutic treatments with your spouse can help you learn practical ways to communicate your feelings and needs, establish healthy strategies to navigate conflicts, and reconnect with one another as you rebuild your emotional intimacy.
Does Marriage Counseling Actually Work?
Marriage counseling is clinically proven to help most couples work through their disputes to improve the quality and satisfaction of their relationship. Research shows that approximately 70% of the couples participating in marriage counseling reported positive impacts on the relationship.
When Does A Marriage Need Counseling?
- Partners no longer communicate effectively; most conversations devolve into hostility, antagonism, or arguments.
- One partner is beginning to exhibit controlling behavior patterns by exerting physical, mental, emotional, sexual, financial, or any other type of control the other didn’t consent to.
- Frequently repeating the same arguments without resolutions.
- Infidelity creates broken trust, insecurity, or other related damage.
- You’re having trouble connecting after the birth of a child or an empty nest.
- The emotional intimacy between you has faded or disappeared.
- You don’t have sex anymore, or you only connect with sex.
- Secrets and lies are regular occurrences.
- One or both of you are indifferent to the other's feelings and the relationship.
How Marriage Counseling Books Can Help Repair And Strengthen Your Relationship
Working work a couples therapist isn’t always an option for various reasons. In that case, consider reading marriage counseling books with your spouse to help you learn about practical ways to improve your relationship. Couples therapy books can help you explore ways to enhance the connection with your partner while waiting to speak with a licensed couples therapist.
Starting Conversations That Help Prepare You For Working With A Therapist
Marriage counseling books can help you and your spouse start conversations that can lead to honest communication and the resolution of conflicts that are disrupting your marriage.
Questions You May Want To Ask
- What can I do to make you feel valued and appreciated?
- Can you explain what habits of mine bother you most and how we can compromise?
- Are you willing to consistently put in the effort to make this marriage work?
- Do you feel like your emotional and physical needs are met? If not, can you give specific examples of how I can provide what you need?
- People grow and change with time. Can we reevaluate our goals and dreams, checking in with each other to ensure they still align?
- Does our sex life currently meet your sexual needs? What can I do to ensure you’re satisfied?
Identify Issues Causing Conflict In Your Marriage
As you read the couples therapy books together, examine your relationship and discover the issues causing conflict and tension.
Highlight What You Like About Each Other
While you’re scrutinizing your partner, remember to take note of what you like about each other. Marriage counseling can help you focus on those traits and use them to relate to your partner as you reinforce the behaviors you want from them.
Reevaluate And Express Your Expectations For Each Other
Many people get married without forming a realistic expectation about what life will be like when it’s shared with someone else. Communication and compromise are valuable characteristics in a healthy relationship, so take time to reevaluate what you expect of your partner to ensure you're not asking too much and verify that they know and understand what you want.
Learn How To Communicate With One Another
Studies show that communication is the heart of healthy marriages. Neither of you can read your partner's thoughts, and emotions don't come with subtitles. If you want to ensure your partner knows your feelings, you have to tell them. If you need something from them or an issue you’re discussing is extremely important to you, don’t rely on them knowing how you feel unless you’ve communicated your position clearly. Honest, effective communication flows in both directions, with you and your spouse trying to listen without judgment, validate the other’s feelings, and express your own in return. You may not always like what your partner says, but accepting that you are their safe place to land means you should be there to listen anyway.
Develop And Practice Conflict-Resolution Skills
Couples therapy books can help you and your spouse lay the groundwork as you develop and utilize healthy, practical conflict resolution strategies to work through your problems together rather than as adversaries.
“Trying to solve unsolvable problems is counterproductive, and no couple will ever completely eliminate them. However, discussing them is constructive and provides a positive opportunity for understanding and growth.” — The Gottman Institute
How To Choose The Right Marriage Counseling Books For Your Needs
Marriage counseling books are intended for preparation to work with a licensed mental healthcare provider and are not considered couples therapy. However, they can offer some guidance on techniques and topics you should use when discussing relationship issues with your spouse, helping shape your conversations into productive communication. Try taking notes to organize your thoughts and allow your therapist to get a head start on your treatment plan.
- Do some research, find a couples therapy treatment approach you like, and look for a book by someone who specializes in that field.
- Read one book at a time and read it together. If something catches either of your interests, pause to discuss the issue and how it relates to your relationship.
- Check out online reviews from other customers to see their experiences before buying the book.
- Ask your therapist for a recommendation to help you prepare.
Identify Your Therapeutic Needs And Your Desired Approach
Couples therapy books can be an excellent resource for helping you explore which type of marriage counseling fits your situation the best.
Marriage Counseling Approaches
The Gottman Method
Build open communication channels, enhance emotional intimacy, and increase marital conflict resolution and satisfaction.
Psychodynamic Couples Therapy
Learn to recognize and work on the underlying issues influencing how you and your partner relate to and communicate with one another.
Discuss and resolve issues with your sex life and non-sexual physical intimacy, learning how to express your needs and desires.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Find healthy, practical ways to improve the bond and attachment between spouses, increasing marital intimacy by expressing authentic emotions to each other.
This therapy approach helps couples pinpoint their tension and conflict sources, focusing their efforts on working through them together.
Reach Out For Help
While reading marriage counseling books together can be a fantastic way to start important conversations about bringing about meaningful changes in your relationship so you both feel loved, understood, and valued, some problems may require the support and guidance of a mental health professional. Don't wait until your relationship reaches no return to seek help.
How Marriage Counseling Can Help Repair And Fortify Your Relationship
When your marriage encounters problems you and your spouse can’t overcome on your own, consider working with a licensed couples therapist through a virtual therapy platform focused on relationship issues like Regain. Couples therapy can help you discuss and process your feelings about past events in your relationship so you can both heal and move on, develop communication skills to express your needs and emotions and establish healthy conflict-resolution strategies so you work through your problems together.
Many people seeking versatile mental health treatment options wonder whether teletherapy is actually effective. Studies show that couples therapy is equally effective online and in the traditional in-office setting. Both groups in the study reported increased relationship satisfaction and decreased symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and stress. However, teletherapy platforms generally offer more cost-effective treatment, shorter wait times, and access to a much more comprehensive network of mental healthcare professionals. If your first match isn’t a good fit, it’s simple to connect with another qualified therapist who understands you better.
Many couples use marriage counseling to help them overcome issues they’re currently facing and strengthen their relationship to withstand future challenges. This article offers insight into how to choose a couples therapy book to fit your needs as preparation for working with a licensed relationship therapist and how couples therapy can help you build a healthier marriage.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What Is The Success Rate Of Marriage Counseling?
The success rate of marriage counseling is actually quite high, which means that marriage counseling is a very viable way of making marriage work! Couples therapy that uses Emotion-Focused Therapy saves marriages 75% of the time, and 90% of couples who experience this type of therapy report that it has improved their marriage and marital satisfaction. After working with a marriage and family therapist, regardless of whether Emotion-Focused Therapy was used, 93% of couples reported that they had more effective tools to handle any issues that arose in their marriage.
A marriage and family therapist will often implement a marriage counseling workbook, making a marriage work a practical and effective endeavor. Counseling books and marriage books for couples may also be recommended. Therapists have experience making marriage work for their clients, and they know the best marriage books and relationship books for your specific situation. Keep in mind that you and your partner will both need to read them and implement their suggestions for the best books to affect your marriage positively.
What Is The Best Type Of Marriage Counseling?
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) is commonly used in marriage counseling, and it has quite a few benefits. It involves a lot of communication regarding emotions and where those emotions stem from. EFT helps you to understand your partner better and helps your partner to understand you better. With that new understanding and insight, it is easier to work together to improve your marriage. There are some marriage books for couples and counseling books that pair well with Emotion-Focused Therapy so that you and your partner can continue to work on your relationship outside of appointments with your counselor. Licensed professionals in the field write the best marriage books, so be sure to keep your eye out for counseling books written by doctors and licensed therapists or counselors.
Other common types of therapy that have proven to be effective for marriage counseling include the Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, narrative therapy, solution-focused therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In many types of therapy, it’s common for your therapist to recommend homework, such as reading counseling books and marriage books for couples. The best books contain helpful advice regarding principles for making marriage work. Marriage books for couples can be very helpful and effective if both partners are willing to put in the necessary effort.
Are Marriage Counselors Worth It?
In the vast majority of cases, marriage counselors are definitely worth it. Whether you and your partner decide to work through your problems or get a divorce, a marriage counselor can help you reach your goals in the healthiest way possible. Marriage counselors teach skills like communication, healthy conflict resolution, and patience. These skills go a long way in making your marriage happier and more successful! You can develop these skills by reading counseling books and marriage books for couples. If you decide to divorce, a marriage counselor can help you do so on the best terms possible.
In addition, marriage and family therapists can also recommend the best marriage books and books for couples. These types of relationship books contain important principles for making marriage work. The best books make the marriage work a practical effort that produces results. But remember, you and your partner must both be willing to read the counseling books and put effort into completing the activities outlined in the best marriage books.
What's The Best Marriage Advice?
The best marriage advice is to remember your commitment and put effort into your marriage every day. Assume the best of one another, and communicate respectfully even in times of conflict. Choose to love each other every day, make quality time together a priority, and don’t forget to laugh together!
Marriage books for couples can also be a great source of knowledge and bonding activities for you and your spouse to complete together. There are hundreds of different counseling books and marriage books on the market, so there’s sure to be one that fits your specific relationship! Keep in mind that even the best marriage books won’t be effective if you and your partner aren’t willing to put in the necessary effort.
Do Marriage Counselors Ever Recommend Divorce?
The majority of counselors will never recommend divorce. This is because it’s up to the couple to make the decision; it’s simply not the counselor’s place to tell them that they should separate. However, if a couple decides to divorce independently, a marriage counselor can help them get through the process as smoothly and painlessly as possible. But until a couple decides to get divorced, a marriage counselor will do everything in their power to help the couple improve their relationship.
This could include recommending helpful marriage books for couples or suggesting that you and your partner read through some counseling books together. The best marriage books will enable you and your spouse to connect on a deeper level and understand each other better than ever before.
When Should I Talk To My Marriage Counselor?
There is no wrong time to talk to your marriage counselor; even the healthiest marriages can benefit from marriage counseling. However, there are a few signs that marriage counseling would particularly benefit you and your partner. These include constant negative communication, lying and keeping secrets from one another, a lack of intimacy, or an affair.
The chances of success through marriage counseling are much higher the sooner you get to the therapist’s office. The longer you wait and hope the problems will resolve themselves on their own, the lower the chances of success--but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to revive your relationship and make it healthy again. Marriage counseling is a very helpful tool for both happy and unhappy married couples.
A marriage counselor can also offer up helpful recommendations regarding the best books for couples. These may be counseling books or marriage books. Either way, books for couples can be a very effective method of continuing to work on your relationship at home, outside of your counselor’s office. However, even the best books will not make a difference in your relationship if you don’t take the time to read them and implement their suggestions.
What is the best book to read on marriage?
How do you fix a broken marriage?
What is the hardest time in a marriage?
What are the things that can destroy marriage?
What are the pros and cons of marriage counseling?
What are great books to read about saving a marriage?
What entails the process of couples counseling?
When do you need counseling for your marriage?
What should you not do in marriage counseling?
- Previous Article
- Next Article