Confidentiality: Should I Seek Marriage Counseling Near Me? |Find The Best Marriage Counselor For Your Marriage | 2020
By: William Drake
Updated September 18, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
Rough patches in marriage are normal. Most of the time you can weather the storm, and you and your partner come out of the difficulties as a stronger and more complete couple. Sometimes, however, communication becomes stalled, too much space develops between you and your partner, and there seems like there's no way out. That's when it is time to ask if you should seek marriage counseling near you.
Marriage Counseling - What's it All About? And Should I Seek Marriage Counseling Near Me?
Marriage counseling is a form of therapy that can help married couples communicate effectively, preserve relationships, encourage the longevity of relationships, and much more. Marriage counseling can be a spark to relight the bedroom, accomplish your goals, and bring the hope, love, and joy back into your relationship.
When couples have trouble in their relationships, there are many factors involved. The factors of relationships troubles are varied, and there a few examples below of factors that may require couples counseling. As you read, just remember that every one of these problems have paths to recovery.
- Couples Have Individual Mental Health Issues
Remember that there are two members of a couple, and each of those people can have individual mental health issues. For example, imagine one member of a couple has a binge eating disorder. That person may be discussing their problems with a different therapist in addition to sharing it with the couple's marriage counselor. However, it's relevant to bring up their binge eating disorder in couple's counseling, because their partner wants to be supportive. Eating disorders can be secretive, but if you're in a relationship, you're likely to notice if your partner is suffering from one.
Any mental illness is bound to affect a couple's relationship. For example, one member of the couple could have bipolar disorder, and their partner may have trouble coping with the mania and depression that come along with the illness. These are individual issues to discuss in couples counseling, and (by talking about them) it could save the marriage.
There are also times when married couples have to endure stressful situations. One example of a hard time is when a mother has postpartum depression. Her partner might not understand how she feels, but they can express compassion and empathy for what she's experiencing. Another example is if one member of the marriage has anxiety symptoms; it's worth talking about with a marriage counselor to figure out how the two members of the couple can support each other. A marriage counselor is experienced in mediating challenging dynamics between two members of a couple.
- What's Wrong with Me? And How is It Impacting My Marriage?
Many of us look to websites like WebMD to determine the cause of our symptoms. Whether we have mental health issues or physical ailments, we find ourselves turning to the Internet for guidance on our health. Maybe you're having trouble focusing, and you take an ADHD quiz. Perhaps you're seeking bipolar disorder treatment online, and you come across relevant support groups for your illness. People are seeking answers to what's wrong with them, and they can't find it.
Their solution can be to deflect their pain and blame their partner for their sexless marriage. There may be legitimate mental health concerns that they're coping with. However, blaming your partner for your emotional distress is not the solution to your problems. What's more productive is to find a therapist who is a relationship expert. A therapist can help illustrate the warning signs of a failing marriage.
- Marriage Counseling Highlights What's Right with You
People with ADHD are often misunderstood in romantic relationships. When you have a partner with ADHD, they might interrupt you unintentionally due to their quick thinking. It may be misinterpreted as rude; however, the person isn't trying to monopolize the conversation, they want to chime in on the discussion. Their ADHD anxiety kicks in, and they feel the need to say something right away. Despite their good intentions, the individual with ADHD may be hurting their marriage by their impulsive behavior.
Marriage counseling is an excellent place for partners to discuss communication issues. The counselor can highlight that the partner with ADHD is displaying enthusiasm for their significant other's opinion, and not trying to talk over them. The interrupting isn't necessarily a negative thing; it's indicative of their excitement about their spouse's ideas. The partner without ADHD might do well to read an article about the condition. They will learn an ADHD overview and the diagnosis and treatment of the illness. When couples work together to understand each other's issues, they will have a better chance at a long-lasting relationship.
- Living Life in the Fast Lane
Consider the following story. Jane and Paul were what most considered the perfect couple. They had met in law school, married after they both passed the bar, and worked for two different firms on opposite ends of town. When they eventually decided to have children, they left the city and moved to the suburbs for the excellent schools and the quiet life. Like most who make this move to live out of the city but still work in the city, they found that their daily commute took a great deal of time, energy, and pleasure out of their home life. It intensified once their children were born, because this meant an extra stop on the way each morning. The children grew older and Jane and Paul took turns leaving the office early to get the kids to and from school practices or games.
Not only were their busy schedules wreaking havoc on their home life and couple time, but also causing issues at work. The last thing they needed or wanted was for the word to get out in their personal and professional circles that there was conflict in their marriage due to work and time commitments. No matter what the EEOC laws are, people with children are often at an increased risk of losing their jobs due to the inability to bill as many hours of work. For most people, moving their careers to the suburbs is not as easy as uprooting their families there. Therefore, the commute becomes the straw that is often a factor in a very heavily weighed down camel's back. This type of story is commonly referred to as marital burnout.
- Busy couples
One of the most significant factors affecting couples today is insufficient time to spend together as a couple, and when there are children involved, family time generally is a priority over couple time. When this is the case, it can take its toll on the most in-love couples, turning their loving relationship and harmonious home into one where snappy one-liners and comebacks become the modus operandi for communication. Work, commute times, after-school activities and household chores all absorb time for individuals to spend some time decompressing, which is essential if individuals are going to have time or energy left over for couple time, or the ever-elusive married date night. All these issues can lead to marital burnout.
Marital burnout is a common problem faced in marriage counseling. While the love is still there between the couple, exhaustion has set in. A marriage counselor can help reverse the trend to once again make your marriage a priority in the lives of you and your partner by giving strategies such as date night, empathetic conversation techniques, and casual contact like cuddling or hand holding.
- Time Is Not on Your Side
With all these factors considered, finding the time to attend couple's therapy may take a far back burner on the must-do list. For those who commute, fighting traffic to a therapy session after surviving one more unpredictable commute home is the last thing you want to do, and you may even find yourself taking out repressed road rage on your partner or family. Finding a therapist near work is something that many professionals do not wish to risk due to fear of being seen and raising questions from their respective colleagues.
Professional reputations, busy schedules, and nightmarish commutes are realities many professional couples face, and they add to the normal day to day stresses of marriage and family life. However, these do not have to be a reason to avoid finding the help needed to develop stress-reducing strategies and build more effective time-management and communication skills essential to a healthy marriage.
- Where to Turn For Help For Your Marriage: GPS Not Needed
Finding the right therapist is not the most straightforward task. Finding a therapist of comfort and convenience along with expertise may seem daunting. However, with so many therapists and counselors available on online platforms, the stress of searching and trying out different therapist no longer needs to be a factor. The stress of traffic, waiting rooms, and complex scheduling floats away. Many busy couples come to ReGain, to get the help they need from the comfort and privacy of their own homes. Below are some reviews of ReGain counselors, from married couples experiencing different issues.
"My wife and I decided to give online couples counseling a go after finding traditional methods weren't all that suited to our busy working and parenting lifestyle. Our counselor Donna Kemp has been amazing! We both feel she's listened to us and given us the confidence to step out of our comfort zone to deal with problems that are easy to avoid. She is encouraging without being pushy. We've both responded very well to her and her methods and look forward to continuing on with Donna. Highly recommend!"
"Cris Roman saved my marriage. His approach to therapy taught my husband and I the skills we needed to change the way we communicated and the way we understood each other. He is very non-judgemental and helps each person make sense of the others' feelings and actions without taking sides or placing blame. His ability to make you feel heard while helping you to see and understand why your significant other is acting a certain way is phenomenal."
When you and your spouse can come home, breathe, and get into your comfy clothes for a therapy session, you will be much more relaxed than fighting through traffic to sit in a stuffy office. Regain control of your time, alleviate stress, and revitalize your marriage, while keeping your family matters where they belong: in the family. Take the first step. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- What is the best way to find marriage counseling near me? Should I google 'therapist locator' or 'marriage therapy near me'?
There are few ways that you can go about finding marriage counseling near you depending on your budget as well as your current location. You can start with a broad Google search of 'Marriage counseling near me' as those searches usually pull up the marriage counseling that is available near you based on your location. If you are looking for a more specific type of counseling, such as military marriage counseling, type 'Military marriage counseling near me' into Google instead. If you have a limited budget, but you and your partner have insurance, you can start by contacting your insurance or going through your insurance website to find out if marriage counseling is covered by your insurance and how much they will cover of the counseling fee. Sometimes your insurance will cover the entire counseling fee and other times it may be just a percentage of the counseling fee. If you and your spouse have different insurance, you can both contact your insurance provider and find the best fit for your budget for your marriage counseling needs.
If you and your partner are unable to find any suitable options for marriage counseling near you, you can try online marriage counseling. Research has shown that online therapy is a powerful tool in strengthening couples and can be just as effective as in-person therapy. Online marriage counseling also has the added benefit that you can do it from the convenience of your own home, and your partner and you can decide if you would like to be together for the session or in different rooms. Sometimes it's hard to say what you really feel to your counselor or therapist when your spouse is in the room and online marriage counseling offers the opportunity for you and your partner to be in separate rooms.
How does free counseling differ from paid counseling?
Marriage counseling is a popular type of treatment that can be extremely helpful for couples in allowing them to work through problems.IWhen you're seeking couples therapy or marriage counseling, you want to make sure that you find the best couples therapist that you can. Free counseling often refers to free trials or counseling that is covered by your insurance provider. For example, if you live in the United States, you may find that counseling is fully covered by your insurance, depending on who you see. If that's the case, your free counseling might be totally fine or even great. However, if you encounter counseling that is entirely free without insurance coverage or assistance, sometimes, the quality is lost. Free counseling is often conducted by someone who is not a couples therapist at all; in other words, by unlicensed individuals. Crisis services or crisis text counseling are usually free, and they can save lives, but they differ significantly from counseling services. When you seek counseling, whether that's marriage counseling or another form of counseling, you want to establish an ongoing relationship with a mental health provider that is licensed and experienced in their field. With free services, that is not often the case. The couples therapists at ReGain are licensed providers that are experienced in helping couples and individuals with a variety of concerns. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Are there any warning signs that a counselor is bad that I should look for in my session with my counselor or therapist?
To ensure that your couples therapist is competent, you must make sure that they are licensed. Marriage counseling is useful when you have a qualified licensed counselor. You can check their website or a third-party website that lists their information to see their licensure and where they went to school. If you're unsure about marriage counseling, because you don't like the professional you're seeing, remember that there are so many other therapists out there. You can also look at how long they've been practicing and what their specialties are. A bad counselor is someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, belittled, or scammed. If that's the case, you have every right to switch. Even if your counselor is completely proficient, you may also want to change. At times, the first therapist you see won't be a good fit for you, and that's okay. You can always switch to another couple's therapist or another mental health provider if you feel that the first person you see is not a good fit. Affordable, high-quality relationship counseling is out there. In therapy, couples will need to feel comfortable with whoever they're seeing. That's one of the most important things. Working on relationships and couples therapy requires trust, so seeing a provider that you feel safe opening up to as a unit as vital. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com.
Are there different kinds of couples counselors or marriage counselors?
Every couple's therapist will differ in some way. For example, you will sometimes find a couples therapist that strictly practices online counseling rather than in-person therapy. You may also seek couples counselors that relate to specific religions if you are religious. For example, you might find Christian marriage counselors most helpful if you are Christian yourself. When it comes to counseling, couples therapy is only one form of treatment that you can find. You can also see family counselors or marriage and family counselors with your family unit, or you can see an individual counselor one-on-one. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org.
How do I know if my counselor is a good fit for me and are there things I should take note of in my session with my counselor?
Marriage counseling is successful when both partners feel comfortable with the therapist. If one person doesn't like the counselor, that's problematic. If you're pursuing marriage counseling, it's crucial to work with a therapist who can see both partner's points of view. If the therapist appears to be biased toward one party, that's an issue. Marriage counseling is a safe place where both partners can express their concerns. You will know if your couples therapist is a good fit based on if you feel as though what they're telling you is helping you improve your relationship. Are they giving you useful tools? Are you and your partner communicating effectively in therapy? Are you and your partner communicating more effectively outside of treatment using the skills that you learned from your couples therapist? These are all questions that you can ask yourself to see if your couples therapist is a good fit. Most likely, if a couple's therapist is good, you will feel understood by them. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com.
What makes a good marriage counselor and counselor in general?
You will feel as though your unique relationship is being considered and fully understood. A marriage family therapist is an expert on how to manage problems between couples. It's crucial to mitigate conflict, and it's not easy. A marriage family therapist wants to mediate between partners. Couples therapists have a passion for working with partners. They want to support two people who love one another. Couples and families can benefit from marriage counseling. The reason is that marital issues don't only impact the partners; they can spread within the family system. Families are units, and when there is one wobbly block, it makes the foundation shaky. That's why couples and families can benefit from counseling, especially when there are children involved. When you pursue Marriage, counseling is something that you can pursue for several reasons. You might be attending premarital counseling to prepare for marriage, or you might be attending marriage counseling to work through a concern in your relationship. You might be preparing to have children together in marriage counseling, or you might be working on showing each other affection more effectively. Marriage therapy or marriage counseling does not always mean that your marriage is broken, but it can help you work through any rough patches you have. Marriage counselors are empathetic professionals who want to help make your relationship last. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org.
What happens in marriage counseling and what should I expect when I seek marriage counseling or couples counseling?
Before you find a therapist for your marriage, you should know what to expect when you seek marriage counseling. While every different marriage counselor will provide therapy with their own touch, there are a few common elements of counseling couples that you can expect when you’re starting couples therapy. Depending on the relationships in couples therapy, there are different approaches that a couples therapist might use. These methods are just some of the ways that a therapist might choose to treat you and your partner and address the underlying issues in your marriage. There are also other couples counseling techniques or marriage counseling techniques, but these are the most popular.
For example, if you seek marriage counseling that includes sex therapy, the therapist will have a whole different plan than if you were looking for help with other aspects of your marriage. In sex therapy, a lot of the conversation will focus on anatomy and anxiety treatment. The therapist will work closely with you and your partner so that you can both properly understand and apply your knowledge of the anatomy involved with the function of sex and the pleasure of it. Plus, you can find a specialist to help you communicate effectively during sex in order to address any sex-related anxiety that you or your partner may feel.
You can also seek marriage counseling with other approaches. Another approach that a couples therapist might employ is exposure therapy. With this technique, the therapist will trigger anxiety or stressful situations on purpose so that the patient can face it head-on in a safe space. This method can be used for individuals and couples, and it often lends a lot of understanding for both the patient and their partner. The goal is to equip both of the patient, you and your partner, with tools for treating and addressing anxiety head-on in the relationship.
Play therapy is another method for addressing problems in a relationship when you seek marriage counseling. In play therapy, the therapist takes the role of observer while the married couple “plays out” a typical interaction. Then, the therapist is able to review and give advice based on their observations.
No matter what methods the therapist employs, you should expect marriage counseling to be a safe space to work through problems in your relationship issues with the help of a professional and unbiased third party.
How long does it take for marriage counseling to work and is there a time frame I should give for marriage counseling?
When you seek marriage counseling, it’s important to remember that just a couple of sessions won’t magically fix all of your problems. You can expect the marriage counseling to last for several months, and maybe even more than a year. The marriage counselor will be one of the major determining factors when it comes to how long the marriage counseling will last. However, if you and your partner take each session seriously and take to heart and put into practice all of the things that you learn in the marriage counseling sessions, then you will improve bit by bit. You and your partner may not notice it at first, but with time you’ll be able to look back on all of your progress!
What is the role of a marriage counselor and the purpose of marriage counseling?
The role of the marriage counselor is to be an objective third party who listens to you and partner, and then offers advice diagnosis or treatment based on what they think you and your partner need. When you seek marriage counseling, you should remember the marriage counselor won’t choose sides, but they’ll simply be committed to the therapy. This means that their role as a skilled clinician is to listen and observe your communication conversation and offer advice, diagnosis or treatment based solely on what they observe. They aren’t passive, but they spend most of their time listening; remember this when you seek marriage counseling. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com.
Will marriage counselors in marriage counseling ever suggest divorce?
In many cases that involve couples therapy, a marriage counselor is usually very hesitant to suggest divorce. It goes without saying that in the cases of abuse and physical harm to one of the people in the marriage or relationship, a marriage counselor will probably advocate for a separation and possibly divorce. Even if the therapist doesn’t outright suggest divorce right off the bat in those cases, they are likely to do whatever they can in order to get the abused party out of harm’s way as soon as possible. The first goal is safety in those cases.
On the whole, though, marriage counselors are very unlikely to suggest divorce. Their goal is the same as yours: to save the marriage, not to end it!
How can I fix my marriage without counseling or therapy? Is it possible to improve my marriage without the help of a marriage counselor or couples counselor?
A quick search on the internet reveals hundreds of different ways to improve your marriage without online counseling or seeing a therapist. Many of these involve reading a book on marriage or doing a series of lessons together. These books and lessons focus on how to build up your marriage and establish habits that will help keep your marriage healthy.
The first step, though, is to establish and maintain open, honest, and non-judgmental lines of communication. This means that both of you need to be willing to listen to each other earnestly, not defensively, and respond empathetically. Once you’re able to do this with your partner, you will both be able to address the problems in your marriage without doing online counseling or couples therapy.
What not to say to a marriage counselor in marriage counseling or couples counseling?
While honesty and open lines of communication are the best policy when you seek marriage counseling, there is one thing that you should avoid bringing up with a marriage counselor. You should never tell a mental health professional that you have a mental health disorder - such as eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or panic disorder - unless it’s been diagnosed by a licensed professional.
For example, if you think you or your partner might have depression but neither one of you have been clinically diagnosed, you definitely should not tell your psychiatrist that you or your partner have depression. Instead, let them know that you feel depressed, or that you suspect you or your partner might have depression, or that your or your partner have received depression treatment in the past. However, when you’re expressing these things to your therapist, it’s absolutely necessary that you clarify if you haven’t been clinically diagnosed!
In short, never tell your psychiatrist that you have a mental health issue or suffer from mental illness unless you’ve actually been diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist! When you seek marriage counseling, it’s important not to share false medical information, and for good reasons. Your therapist wants to provide medical treatment that is best for you, based on the psychology news and their professional training.
How do you know when your marriage is over?
There are a few big indicators that your marriage might be over. For example, you and your partner never, or rarely, have sex anymore. Or, you’re making big financial decisions or choices about the future without telling or considering your partner. Another red flag for your marriage is if you want to cheat on your partner, whether that’s physically or emotionally. Or, you might find that you love or affection for your partner is dependent on material provision or their ability to find a job, achieve a goal, or otherwise jump through some hoop to earn your love and affection.
Other signs that your marriage might be over is that communication has deteriorated between you and your partner. This means that there is an overall lack of communication conversation, or that most of the time you experience negative communication. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling upset. Even if only one partner feeling upset, it’s still negative communication.
The broadest indicator that your marriage is that you’re not invested in improving the marriage. This means that you might make excuses to spend time away from your partner, or you refuse to join online counseling or couples therapy. Or, you ignore advice from people who care about you, or you might refuse to talk about your problems with your partner or refuse to apologize to them. All of these are signs that your marriage might be over.
Should I fight for my marriage or let go of my marriage? How do you know when it's time to walk away from your marriage?
Many new studies and news experts these days recommend trying to fight for your marriage. If you’re honest the marriage that you have is likely something that you’ve been working on for years, and you’ve put a lot of time and effort into this relationship. If you want to seek marriage counseling, the marriage may be salvaged. However, rebuilding trust, working through your parenting issues, and going through all of the problem solving and conflict resolution training can be difficult. It can take a long time. If you and your partner are both willing to put in this time and effort, then you should fight for your marriage!
How often should you see a marriage counselor or couples counselor? How often should you have counseling sessions with your marriage counselor or couples counselor?
Most marriage counselors see their clients for a session once a week. Each session usually lasts around an hour. However, it completely depends on the needs of your individual marriage and you and your partner can work out a schedule that works for your marriage and your marriage counselor.
Can individual therapy or counseling harm a marriage?
For the most part, individual therapy aimed at improving the marriage is often beneficial to the marriage in the long run. In these counseling sessions, you’ll meet with a counselor or therapist and talk through your marriage, your past in the relationship, and especially about what problems you seem to be facing in the marriage. While your partner won’t be there to give their own side of the story and hear the suggestions from the therapist or counselor, it’s still a great way to start working towards building up your marriage. Maybe your partner will see all of the progress that you’re making and want to join the counseling sessions, too!
In cases of a stressed or unhealthy marriage, some patients express that they feel strain on relationships in couples therapy, or even when their partner goes to individual therapy with a mind to improve the marriage. However, this is usually because they’re bringing up difficult topics and problems that have often been bottled up or repressed or left unaddressed for far too long. So, even though things may be stressful or seem to be getting worse at the very beginning stages therapy with your partner, it’s important to remember that it’s only the beginning of the process and that it’s a long road to building a healthier and more fulfilling marriage.
Yes, it may be a strain on the relationship to air out all of the problems that you have with your partner, and at the outset it may seem that things are getting worse instead of getting better. However, this is just the first step in the process of improving your relationship. You have to be patient and work through the process with the couples therapist. As time goes on, you’ll start to see that your problems are solved one by one, and that you’re equipped with the tools and skills to deal with problems that come up in the relationship.
So, while it may seem to be making things worse at first, in the long run, couples therapy is ultimately a great way to improve your relationship. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can marriage counseling or couples counseling save a marriage?
If you are seeking therapy, especially marriage counseling, then you’re already on the track to success. Of course, this is because if you don’t ever start to seek any kind of therapy for your relationship, your success rate will definitely be zero. But, the statistics are actually show that of those couples who seek therapy, couples and families who participate in family therapy have a pretty high chance of success and improvement. In fact, the success rate as high as 75%. This shows that in general, for the couples and families that take a shot and give it a go, family therapy, whether it’s in the form of sex therapy for couples, marital therapy, or even individual therapy, can be an effective way to make relationships work. This is true for all kinds of relationships in your family. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com.
Therapy Is Personal
If you’re still wondering if therapy is right for you, and how much therapy costs, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. ReGain specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to email@example.com. For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) - 1-800-656-4673
- The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255
- National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233
- NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness) - 1-800-950-6264
- SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) SAMHSA Facebook, SAMHSA Twitter
- Mental Health America, MHA Twitter, MHA Facebook, MHA Instagram, MHA Pinterest
- WebMD, WebMD Facebook, WebMD Twitter, WebMD Pinterest
- NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NIMH Facebook, NIMH Twitter, NIMH YouTube
- APA (American Psychiatric Association), APA Twitter, APA Facebook, APA LinkedIN, APA Instagram