Confidentiality: Should I Seek Marriage Counseling Near Me?
Updated January 14, 2020
Reviewer Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
Marriage Counseling - What's it All About?
Marriage counseling is a form of therapy that can help married couples communicate effectively, preserve relationships, encourage the longevity of relationships, and much more. When couples have trouble in their relationships, there are many factors involved.
Couples Have Individual Mental Health Issues
Remember that there are two members of a couple, and each of those people can have individual mental health issues. For example, imagine one member of a couple has a binge eating disorder. That person may be discussing their problems with a different therapist in addition to sharing it with the couple's marriage counselor. However, it's relevant to bring up their binge eating disorder in couple's counseling, because their partner wants to be supportive. Eating disorders can be secretive, but if you're in a relationship, you're likely to notice if your partner is suffering from one. Any mental illness is bound to affect a couple's relationship. For example, one member of the couple could have bipolar disorder, and their partner may have trouble coping with the mania and depression that come along with the illness. These are issues to discuss in couples counseling, and (by talking about them) it could save the marriage.
What's Wrong with Me? And How is It Impacting My Marriage?
Many of us look to websites like WebMD to determine the cause of our symptoms. Whether we have mental health issues or physical ailments, we find ourselves turning to the Internet for guidance on our health. Maybe you're having difficulty focusing, and you take an ADHD quiz. Perhaps you're seeking bipolar disorder treatment online, and you come across relevant support groups for your illness. People are seeking an answer as to what's wrong with them, and they can't find it. Nothing seems to fit, after reading bipolar disorder overview articles and about how to cope with stress in life, they still feel empty inside. Their solution is to deflect their pain and blame their partner for their sexless marriage. There may be legitimate mental health concerns that they're coping with, however, blaming your partner for your emotional distress is not the solution to your problems. What's more productive is to find a therapist who is a relationship expert and can help illustrate the warning signs of a failing marriage.
Marriage Counseling Highlights What's Right with You
People with ADHD are often misunderstood in romantic relationships. When you have a partner with ADHD, they might interrupt you unintentionally due to their quick thinking. It may be misinterpreted as rude; however, the person isn't trying to monopolize the conversation, they want to chime in on the discussion. Their ADHD anxiety kicks in, and they feel the need to say something right away. Despite their good intentions, the individual with ADHD may be hurting their marriage by their impulsive behavior. Marriage counseling is an excellent place for partners to discuss communication issues. The counselor can highlight that the partner with ADHD is displaying enthusiasm for their significant other's opinion, and not trying to talk over them. The interrupting isn't necessarily a negative thing; it's indicative of their excitement about their spouse's ideas. The partner without ADHD might do well to read an article about the condition. They will learn an ADHD overview and the diagnosis and treatment of the illness. When couples work together to understand each other's issues, they will have a better chance at a long-lasting relationship.
Severe Mental Illnesses in Marriage Counseling
There are times when married couples have to endure stressful situations. One example of a hard time is when a mother has postpartum depression. Her partner might not understand how she feels, but they can express compassion and empathy for what she's experiencing. Another example, which is more severe that PPD is, one member of the marriage has schizophrenia symptoms; it's worth talking about with a marriage counselor to figure out how the two members of the couple can support each other. A marriage counselor is experienced in mediating challenging dynamics between two members of a couple.
One of the most significant factors affecting couples today is insufficient time to spend together as a couple, and when there are children involved, family time generally is a priority over couple time. When this is the case, it can take its toll on the most in-love couples, turning their loving relationship and harmonious home into one where snappy one-liners and comebacks become the modus operandi for communication. Work, commute times, after-school activities and household chores all absorb time for individuals to spend some time decompressing, which is essential if individuals are going to have time or energy left over for couple time, or the ever-elusive married date night. All these issues can lead to marital burnout.
Living Life in the Fast Lane
Source : flickr.com
Jane and Paul were what most considered the perfect couple. They had met in law school, married after they both passed the bar, and worked for two different firms on opposite ends of town. When they eventually decided to have children, they left the city and moved to the suburbs for the excellent schools and the quiet life. Like most who make this move to live out of the city but still work in the city, they found that their daily commute took a great deal of time, energy, and pleasure out of their home life. It intensifies once their children were born, because this meant an extra stop on the way each morning. The children grew older and Jane and Paul took turns leaving the office early to get the kids to and from school practices or games.
Not only was their busy schedules wreaking havoc on their home life and couple time, but also causing issues at work. The last thing they needed or wanted was for the word to get out in their personal and professional circles that there was conflict in their marriage due to work and time commitments. No matter what the EEOC laws are, people with children are often at an increased risk of losing their jobs due to the inability to bill as many hours of work. For most people, moving their careers to the suburbs is not as easy as uprooting their families there. Therefore, the commute becomes the straw that is often a factor in a very heavily weighed down camel's back.
Time Is Not on Your Side
With all these factors considered, finding the time to attend couple's therapy may take a far back burner on the must-do list. For those who commute, fighting traffic to a therapy session after surviving one more unpredictable commute home is the last thing a couple wants to do, and they may even find themselves taking out their repressed road rage on one another in the session. Finding a therapist near work is something that many professionals do not wish to risk due to fear of being seen and raising questions from their respective colleagues.
Professional reputations, busy schedules, and nightmarish commutes are realities many professional couples face, and they add to the normal day to day stresses of marriage and family life. However, these do not have to be reason to avoid finding the help needed to develop stress-reducing strategies and build more effective time-management and communication skills essential to a healthy and productive marriage.
Where to Turn: GPS Not Needed
Finding the right therapist who is also convenient to one's work or home location may not be the most straightforward task. Finding one where there is a low risk of having one's marital and family woes become someone's next tweet is perhaps even more so. However, with so many therapists and counselors available on online platforms, the stress of searching and trying out different therapists and battling traffic to get there no longer has to be a factor. Many busy couples come to Regain.us, to get the help they need from the privacy, comfort, and convenience of their own homes.
When you and your spouse can come home, breathe, and get into your comfy clothes for a therapy session, that is so much better than fighting through traffic just to sit in an impersonal. Reach out to Regain.us today and regain control of your time and marriage, all the while keeping your family matters where they belong: in the family.