10 Tips To Being A Better Husband To Your Spouse
Updated May 25, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Stephanie Deaver, LCSW
If you're a husband looking at and reading this article, chances are you've already taken some steps toward being a better husband. Although there is an infinite number of ways in which you can change and improve yourself to be a better man and a better husband, there are some essential tips that you can use to get started on your journey toward self-improvement.
1. Talk About Each Other's Day
One of the keys to a long and lasting healthy relationship is an open, constant dialogue about each other's lives. Both people in the relationship likely have separate things during the day, so it's important to share and listen to the other person's experiences from their day. Listening to and asking about the details of your partner's day can make you a better husband because it allows you to learn more about that person's inner and outer realities. By learning about their reality, you can discover new and important ways to help and support them. Don't forget to share about your day too! Your partner is interested, and by being willing to share your thoughts and emotions about your realities, you open up a new layer of intimacy that will bring the two of you closer together.
2. Share Passions And Excitement
Your partner probably has some very important passions to her or activities and interests that excite her. It's your job as the husband to support her interests and passions and to even partake in some of them if your partner offers to have you along! For instance, if your partner is passionate about yoga and invites you to go with them to a yoga class, go with her to experience your partner's passion inside-out. Even if you don't like the activity, that's fine! Being willing to go with and be a part of your partner's passions, and to appreciate their excitement, will make you a better husband than your partner can rely on.
An open curiosity about your partner's unique passions and the pursuit of activities that interest you personally will help you greatly in being a better husband for your spouse. In fact, one study done by the University at Buffalo demonstrated that curiosity and open-mindedness had a dramatic and positive effect on interpersonal relationships (such as those between spouses).
3. Clean Up
Taking the time to clean up the house or even just a small area of the house can show a great deal of care and respect to your partner. It shows them that you care about the space that the two of you share, and it also proves symbolically that you're willing to clean up the messes wherever they might pop up. If you clean something up when your partner wasn't expecting you to, they'll notice! Even if they don't say anything to you right away, it's sure to put a smile on their face, especially if they had been expecting to do the cleaning up themselves.
A study done by George Mason University demonstrated that husbands tend to contribute less to clean up the house than do live-in boyfriends. In fact, the division of chores was more equal between cohabiting partners than between most spouses, with wives taking on almost twice as much housework as their husbands on average. So, doing a little bit of work around the house to help out your partner can be a huge weight off their shoulders, and it can show a little extra love!
4. Listen And Ask
Listening attentively and asking questions are two of the most important factors in good communication between spouses. Both partners have to listen and ask, and there's a give and take. If one person has a bad day, it's the other person's responsibility to listen to their thoughts and feelings and to ask questions to learn more about the situation and what they're feeling. Through talking, the person can work through their negative situation and will feel much calmer. Asking questions and listening carefully to the answers are vital. As a husband, you should always be trying to learn more about your spouse, no matter how long you've been together. Because you're two separate people, there's always more to learn about each other! Don't be afraid to be curious; your partner will thank you for it.
5. Compliments, Big And Small
Complimenting your partner regularly will help you work toward being a better husband to your spouse. Whether you're complimenting your partner on their new haircut as you're walking out the door in the morning or lavishing them with some well-deserved praise for a job-well-done after getting a new and exciting job, the feeling of support and appreciation will be wonderful for your partner. Compliments show that you're paying attention to your partner and that you notice their achievements and growth. It demonstrates selflessness and affection, and it's a beautiful way to show your appreciation for your partner every day.
6. Take Care Of Yourself
This tip to being a better husband might come as a surprise. How can taking care of yourself make you a better husband? Well, by taking care of yourself, you're showing that you have self-love -which isn't a bad thing! When a man has a love for himself and an appreciation of his well-being, it indicates to his partner that he's more than able to provide love and care for them too. Principally, you come first. If you can't take care of yourself properly, how can you expect yourself to take care of another person? Giving yourself enough love and care will allow you to be strong enough to provide love and care to your partner.
7. Acts Of Kindness
It's the little things that count. Thinking of small ways (or big ways) to show your love and appreciation of your partner is a significant way to work on being a better husband. Doing random acts of kindness for your partner shows them that you're thinking of them and that you care about them. An act of kindness can be anything from holding the door for your partner or even cooking a surprise dinner for them on a Friday night after a long work week. Please think of the things that your partner likes and enjoys and make an effort to provide more of those things in their life.
8. Discuss Finances Openly
Money is never an easy subject, but both partners in a marriage are better off if they can talk openly about their financial situation. In terms of being a better husband, your responsibility is, to be honest about the way you feel about the financial situation and be honest about what the financial situation is in the first place. Hiding money-related things from your spouse will only create a bigger problem, so if something serious comes up financially, even if it leads to an argument, it will be better, in the long run, to discuss the situation with your spouse. The two of you are partners for a reason, and if anybody can figure out a financial mess, it's you two working together openly and honestly.
9. Work On Yourself
Nobody's perfect, and even if you're one of the best husbands in the world, there are still many, many ways that you can work on being a better husband. One of the most important things is to adopt an attitude of constant self-growth and learning; explore the world around you and inside you, and when you recognize that you have a weakness or an overblown strength, consider it and work on it honestly. Lean on your partner for support if you need it. Your partner will see that you're trying to improve yourself, and they will support your path. Your work toward being a better husband makes it possible for them to work toward being a better partner for you too.
10. Seek Counseling/Therapy
Working with a qualified counselor can be the first step toward being a better husband. In most relationships, it's normal for the husband to go to therapy at some point to gain perspective and tools for improving himself and his behaviors in the relationship. In fact, a willingness to go to therapy demonstrates that you're willing to work on yourself and also that you love yourself (and your partner) enough to take action to be a better person and a better spouse.
There are many ways that a man can work toward being a better husband. Technically, there is an endless number of ways that a husband can work to improve himself. Growth should be a constant, never-ending process, especially within the context of a marriage relationship where both partners must work and grow together to support one another throughout all life's triumphs and struggles.
These are just a few ways that you can show your care and commitment to your spouse. But, don't be afraid to get creative and seek the help of specialists; marriage takes work, but it's worth all the time you put in!
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