The Idea Behind The Love Contract
Your coworkers can be your friends, your enemies, or even people you're apathetic about. However, in some cases, you may find yourself in love with your coworker, and perhaps those feelings are mutual. In that case, you may need to take the next few steps carefully.
Why Couples Can Fall In Love At Work
Many couples fell in love at work. Why is this phenomenon so common?
- For eight hours a day or so, you must spend your time with your coworkers, and you may naturally form a bond with them.
- You may talk about your lives to pass the time, and after a while, if you get to know each other, you may find that you have a lot in common.
- If the two of you want to work at that location, you may have similar goals and values in mind.
- Plus, the two of you work the same job during the same hours, most likely, so your schedules and locations can be synced.
How To Know A Coworker Might Be Interested In You
If you're interested in a coworker, you may wonder how you can find out if the feeling is mutual. Here are a few signs.
- They talk to you and want to spend time together outside of work.
- They are always looking you in the eye and look eager to talk to you. They smile a lot and have body language that might mean they like your company.
- Your coworker always wants to work with you and seeks you out for advice or help at work.
The Risks Of Workplace Romance
If the couple breaks up, it can be uncomfortable at work afterward. After a breakup, you can move out and stop spending weekends with someone, but if you work together, it will be tough not to see each other. Some can separate their personal feelings from their professional lives, while others may have more difficulty doing so. One or both exes may decide to quit their job, try to work on a different schedule or position, or not be as productive as they once were.
Plus, relationships can lead to gossip and drama in the workplace. Also, the breakup may impact your coworkers' performance or social life, for example, if people start to take sides, feel jealous, or speak poorly of those involved in the relationship.
The size of the company can affect the severity as well. A large company may find it easy to handle a couple whose relationship went sour. They can easily move them around to avoid any conflict. However, a small company may be damaged by the fallout of a relationship. If you are working remotely, then that could be a consideration as well because you may not need to be in person with your coworker.
To avoid some of the potential controversies at work, some companies have taken to love contracts to solve the problem.
What Is A Love Contract?
A love contract is an agreement that some companies use to handle romantic relationships at work. It must be signed by both parties who are in a consensual relationship, and it can have quite a few purposes.
A love contract may tell the couple how they can behave while working. For example, a love contract may rule out any PDA while in the office.
The love contract may only limit certain types of PDA or may eliminate it entirely.
- Be professional. Even though it can be challenging, treat your ex like another employee. Business comes first, and if there are any personal issues you may have, save them for after work ends.
- Do not gossip to your friends about your ex. Gossiping, in general, can be bad for the workplace. If your employees want to know the details of your relationship, ignore them or tell them that you aren’t comfortable talking about it.
- It's possible to repair your relationship, but don't force it. If the two of you are meant to be, then great. However, don't repair your relationship by force just for the job.
- If you're still having problems moving on from your relationship, you may want to speak to a professional. A relationship counselor can help repair the relationship between you two or help the two of you be professional. You can learn how to cope and move on from your relationship as well if that is what the situation demands.
Finding love at work can be exciting, and there is certainly nothing wrong with pursuing that relationship if both parties are excited about one another. That said, relationships in the workplace may require a bit more mindfulness than other forms of relationships. If you want help navigating this situation, then talking to a relationship counselor can be extremely beneficial. 95% of couples who engage in online couples counseling say that the process has been “helpful.” Plus, people share that they often feel more comfortable opening up over online mediums instead of in person. Reach out to Regain to complete a brief survey and be matched with a counselor who is unique to your needs.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is a love contract in the workplace?
If you are dating a coworker, your employer may want you to sign a love contract. A love contract is an agreement between employees that they are engaged in a consensual, romantic relationship. This love contract highlights the company’s policies regarding sexual harassment and conflict of interest to reduce the chances of having any issues down the road. Love contracts will include rules for workplace conduct, including what is appropriate or inappropriate in the workplace, for example, public displays of affection.
Is a relationship contract legally binding?
A love contract in an office setting may not always hold up in court, but it will in your human resource department. If you break any of the terms in a love contract, there is the potential to receive infractions at work for doing so, including possibly losing your job.
Can you write a contract yourself?
When it comes to workplace romances, your human resource department usually has a policy. Some companies may already have a compulsory love contract that the couple needs to sign. Other companies might want employees to sign a no-fraternizing agreement, which means that they do not condone dating in the workplace. If you find yourself in a romantic relationship with your coworker and are unsure of your company's policy, contact your human resources department.
Outside the workplace, some couples have recently taken to the trend of writing love contracts. These may not be legally binding, but love contracts can help outline your expectations in a relationship and hold you accountable. By outlining your needs and expectations, you can definitely strengthen and improve your relationship. Love contracts may sound silly, but they could be beneficial to your relationship. If you’d like help or support in your relationship or to create a love contract with your partner, a relationship therapist may be able to help.
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