Here's Why You May Need Sexy Relationship Goals

Updated April 10, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Intimate closeness and sexual satisfaction can be important parts of a relationship. For many people, sexual intimacy may be intertwined with emotional intimacy. That means that paying attention to your sex life can be a huge advantage for your long-term relationship and ignoring it can produce the opposite results. That being said, it can be normal for a relationship to feel less sexy as time goes on. It’s also true that not everyone experiences sexual attraction in the same way or at all. What matters most is that all partners feel like their sexual needs are met, whatever that might look like. This can become difficult to attain over time, though, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Actively forming sexy goals for your relationship can keep you both feeling hot and keep your relationship healthy. Let’s take a closer look at why sexual intimacy can be so important and how you can set some intimate goals to keep your relationship constantly progressing forward.

Why sexual intimacy can be important

Experiencing challenges with intimacy in your relationship?

Before we start talking about the importance of sexual intimacy in relationships, we must first clarify that not all relationships require increased sexual activity or sexual activity at all to thrive. Some individuals, particularly those who fall on the asexuality spectrum, can form a healthy relationship with limited or no sexual activity and should not feel pressured to engage in anything that doesn’t feel right.

However, for those who do wish to engage in sexual activity in their relationship, sexual intimacy can be a key part of sustaining a healthy bond. 

Just because you and your partner are having sex does not necessarily mean you are actively contributing to your intimacy level with each other. People in a relationship can become used to having sex with each other. It may become a routine, and when that happens, you may be able to have sex but not actually be in tune with each other. Building intimacy, on the other hand, can be about having sex in a way that engages your mind and your emotions.

In fact, some couples in long-term relationships find that addressing their intimacy concerns greatly improves other challenges in their marriage. Why? Let’s take a closer look at some major reasons why sex can be an important part of a relationship for some couples.

It can translate to a better experience outside of the bedroom

Some people think sex is simply that – sex. They may believe it doesn’t have any benefits except for the pleasure that two people receive when they are in the bedroom. However, this is not necessarily the case. 

Sexual intimacy can lead to a better relationship outside of the bedroom, too. When couples are consistently intimate with each other and are satisfied with their sex lives, they can boost other things such as their general and mental health. These factors can be essential parts of keeping a healthy relationship alive. 

Both touch and sexual love can be love languages that help individuals translate their affection to each other. When a partner feels that affection, vulnerability, and trust through sex, it can add to the relationship.

It can boost you and your partner’s confidence

Think back to the first time you met your partner. Were you flattered by all of the affection and attention they were giving you? Were you excited to venture into sexual intimacy with them? Was there a sense of confidence that came with being able to satisfy your partner sexually?

Although these initial feelings may wane over time as you become more comfortable with your partner, there can still be a great feeling that comes with being wanted by your partner. Likewise, many people find that their confidence can increase while in a fantastic sexual relationship. This can be part of why partners who go from having frequent sex to having significantly less sex or no sex at all may feel unwanted or unattractive and lose some of their confidence. Sex can help to restore that and reinforce those great characteristics.

It can improve overall mental and physical health

You may be surprised to learn that pleasure may not be the only thing you and your partner get out of having sex. 

Sex can comes with a host of mental and physical benefits, such as:

  • A reduction in stress and anxiety levels
  • An increase in immune system function
  • An increased chance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle (balanced diet, exercise, etc.)
  • Decreased levels of pain
  • Lowered risk of developing heart disease

Overall, sex can be great for couples who want to boost their quality of life. Now that you know why you might need them, here are some sexy goals to help you build intimacy with your partner and strengthen your bond.

Kiss with intention (every time!)

Not all kisses are the same, and some kisses can lack that special something that you may have had in the past with your partner. Make it a goal to be present for every kiss you give and receive with your partner and treat it as its own moment deserving of your time and energy. 

Don’t just give them a quick peck on their way out the door. Look into their eyes, take your time, and feel their lips touching yours. It may only take a few extra seconds to make each kiss meaningful, and this can go a long way in increasing intimacy between the two of you. It might even be enough to get you both in the mood!

Be naked together

This isn’t about just getting naked and having sex, which can lose its luster if you strip down and get to it without allowing for a buildup to happen. 

Allow time for yourselves to be close and explore each other’s bodies while you are naked. Try sleeping naked together or giving each other massages. You could also have your partner lie down on their stomach while you caress their back. These exercises can reinforce the idea that time spent nude together is not just about jumping to sex. Instead, sex can be about exploring two bodies together and may be meant to be beautiful, intense, and pleasurable.

Talk about expectations

Everyone can have different sex drives, and everyone may have different needs when it comes to sex. Over time, partners may not feel as sexually satisfied as they used to in the relationship, and they may either feel ashamed to talk about it or not want to embarrass or let down the other partner. 

Take the time to sit down to talk to your partner so that you can find out how often they feel you should be having sex, what you should be doing during sex, and what you can do to serve their needs better. This can go both ways. If you each have very different expectations, try to find a middle ground and stick to a plan that gives you both the opportunity to be sexual with each other regularly.

Flirt with each other

Experiencing challenges with intimacy in your relationship?

Being in a long-term relationship can make you feel comfortable with your partner, so much so that you may lose sexual excitement as the relationship progresses.

To regain this spark, it can help to go back to the beginning and figure out ways to spice up the relationship. Talk to each other about sex. Be honest and be playful. Send your partner a sexy text message telling them a tiny preview of what you’d like to do to them later. Things like this can give them a heads up that you’re in the mood and give both of you something to look forward to. 

Foreplay can also increase the intensity of the sexual activity and make it easier for the two of you to feel more satisfied and connected when all is said and done.

Seek professional support

If you’re not sure how to best approach your sex life or haven’t found success through steps like those listed above, you can also try talking to a professional relationship counselor. Doing so can allow you to find more ways to build greater sexual intimacy with your partner and successfully integrate them into your relationship. 

Options like online therapy can make seeking professional support fast, easy, and convenient. A digital medium for therapy may also make it easier to feel comfortable discussing personal matters like your sex life with someone new.

No matter your concerns, it’s likely that talking to a professional can help you form new goals, address any challenges you might face, and change your sex life for the better.


To summarize, if your sex life has gotten stagnant, it can help make it a priority to get your love life back on track for the sake of your relationship and your health. Hopefully, these tips can help get you started, and you can continue to brainstorm ideas with your partner until you are on the same page about your sexual needs and desires.

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