What Is Micro-Cheating? Examples Of Micro-Cheating In The Digital Age
Key takeaways
- The term “micro-cheating” may refer to small breaches of trust in a relationship rather than full-on infidelity.
- Establishing boundaries, maintaining open communication, and attending online couples therapy can help you navigate micro-cheating.
In some instances, infidelity is obvious. Maybe your partner slept with someone else, or perhaps you developed strong romantic feelings for another person. In other cases, however, cheating may not be so clear-cut. In this gray area between complete faithfulness and clear infidelity is what some refer to as “micro-cheating”—small behaviors that constitute a slight breach of trust, but do not cross fully into infidelity. Examples can include secretly texting an ex or lying about your relationship status. To navigate micro-cheating, it can be valuable to establish clear boundaries and maintain open and honest communication. For support, you and your partner can connect with a qualified therapist in couples therapy.
What is “micro-cheating”?
Micro-cheating is a relatively new term that generally refers to seemingly minor acts that betray the trust of one’s partner in a relationship. Over time, these small acts may lead to a more serious erosion of trust and damage the relationship.
As to why micro-cheating occurs, some evolutionary psychologists have asserted that humans may hold onto the idea of a “backup mate” in their minds. This idea could potentially play a role in why people engage in these types of behaviors.
What are examples of micro-cheating?
While micro-cheating can take many different forms, it often involves digital forms of betrayal. In the digital world, some of the lines between acceptable and unacceptable behavior may be blurred, and keeping these acts hidden from one’s partner may be easier.
Online examples of micro-cheating
Some examples of digital micro-cheating in relationships might include the following:
- Secretly messaging with someone you find attractive on social media
- Secretly texting an ex
- Browsing profiles on a dating app
- Frequently looking at, liking, and/or commenting on a crush’s photos on social media
Other forms of micro-cheating
Beyond these online examples, micro-cheating can also take a variety of other forms, such as those listed below:
- Flirting with someone you find attractive at a party
- Lying about your relationship status to others
- Telling a crush about the intimate workings of your relationship
- Trying to impress someone or lead someone to notice you in a romantic or sexual way
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How does micro-cheating differ from an emotional affair or sexual infidelity?
Understanding the differences between micro-cheating and full-on emotional or sexual infidelity can sometimes be confusing. However, there are typically clear differences to consider, particularly related to the severity of the behavior.
Micro-cheating vs. an emotional affair or sexual infidelity
In the case of sexual infidelity, something physical happened with someone aside from one’s partner, such as kissing, sexual touching, or various sexual acts. In the case of an emotional affair, the unfaithful partner developed a deep and ongoing emotional connection with someone outside of the relationship. In contrast, micro-cheating usually stops short of these behaviors. Interactions may be flirtatious, but they generally do not cross the line into a sexual or emotional relationship.
How ideas of micro-cheating can vary
It can be important to note that different couples may have different ideas of which behaviors fall into which categories. For some people, behaviors such as liking someone else’s photos on social media may not be an issue, while for others, this may be a breach of trust. Couples can determine for themselves what they are and are not comfortable with.
How can you navigate micro-cheating and support mental health?
To navigate micro-cheating, it can be helpful for couples to have a clear discussion of boundaries and expectations, so that both partners can mutually agree on what is and isn’t acceptable. If micro-cheating has already occurred, it can be helpful to take steps to support your own mental health and the health of the relationship.
Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship
To establish clear boundaries with your partner, consider the following strategies:
- Spend time reflecting on your own feelings, determining what behaviors you are and are not comfortable with
- Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about each of your boundaries
- Address concerns as they arise
- Regularly check in with each other to discuss how each of you is feeling
Strengthening your relationship and supporting mental health in therapy
To support your mental health and work on strengthening your relationship, seeking support from a qualified couples counselor or marriage and family therapist can be valuable. During therapy sessions, you and your partner can receive guidance about establishing boundaries, working through conflict, and communicating more openly regarding any concerns. You can also learn new ways to manage stress and navigate other life changes.
Find the right therapist for your relationship.
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Online therapy as an alternative to in-person care
If you and your partner both have busy schedules, the flexible scheduling capabilities of online relationship therapy may help you find time for regular sessions. You can even attend virtual sessions together from two separate locations.
Research on the efficacy of online therapy
Research shows that online couples therapy can be effective for improving relationship satisfaction. Online therapists typically use the same evidence-based strategies to help couples better understand each other and grow closer.
Takeaway
In general, micro-cheating refers to seemingly minor acts that constitute a slight breach of trust in a relationship. Examples of micro-cheating include browsing profiles on a dating app, secretly texting an ex, and lying about your relationship status. To navigate micro-cheating, it can be helpful to establish clear boundaries in your relationship and maintain open communication. For support with these and other relationship concerns, meeting with a therapist online or in person can help.
Is micro-cheating a red flag?
Micro-cheating can be seen as a red flag, as it often constitutes a low-level betrayal and can undermine trust. Any time one partner or spouse is hiding things from the other, it can lead to problems in the relationship.
What are the three levels of cheating?
There aren’t necessarily three standardized levels of cheating. Instead, infidelity can come in multiple forms, including emotional, sexual, and financial infidelity.
Is emotional cheating the same as micro-cheating?
Emotional cheating isn’t necessarily the same as micro-cheating. The concept of micro-cheating typically involves small betrayals like secretly messaging a crush on social media or flirting with others. Meanwhile, emotional cheating tends to be a more significant form of betrayal in which a person develops a deep connection and sense of intimacy with someone other than their partner.
Is micro-cheating a deal-breaker?
Micro-cheating can be a deal-breaker for some, but it may not be a deal-breaker for others. In some cases, clear communication and honesty can eliminate any confusion about boundaries and monogamy. Working with a relationship expert like a licensed couples therapist may also help people overcome infidelity and prevent micro-cheating in the future.
What is silent cheating?
Silent cheating generally refers to micro-cheating. The specific definition of what is considered micro-cheating or silent cheating can vary, with each particular person having their own boundaries and opinions on the subject.
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