How Do You Define Infidelity? Meaning And Impact Of Betrayal By A Romantic Partner

In a romantic relationship, there is one word that is often more dreaded than almost any other: infidelity. In many cases, it can spell the end of a relationship, as well as significant pain for all people involved. Put simply, infidelity involves engaging in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with someone else besides one’s partner, but it can take a variety of forms. Research has demonstrated that infidelity can have a variety of harmful emotional and behavioral consequences. If you have experienced infidelity, there are steps you can take that may help you navigate these effects and move forward. For help along the way, you can reach out to a licensed therapist for compassionate support. 

Word of the day: Infidelity—What is the official infidelity definition?

To understand what exactly infidelity means, it can be helpful to start by looking at the technical definition of the word. And to gain a fuller picture of infidelity, it can be important to consider the ways each couple may define it. 

Understanding the word of the day: The infidelity definition from Merriam-Webster

In the context of romantic relationships, the Merriam-Webster dictionary gives the following definition of infidelity: “the act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one's husband, wife, or partner.” More broadly, infidelity can also refer to general disloyalty, unfaithfulness, or lack of belief. 

The variability of the infidelity meaning

While the official definition of infidelity gives an overview of the concept, it may look slightly different from one relationship to the next. Different couples can determine for themselves what constitutes cheating and what does not. However, in any case, infidelity generally involves violating the agreed-upon rules of the relationship regarding commitment.

What are the different types of infidelity? Meaning of emotional vs. sexual infidelity 

When people think of infidelity, physical acts of cheating may be top of mind, but infidelity can take a variety of forms beyond engaging in sexual relations with someone outside of one’s committed relationship. These can include the following:

• Financial infidelity
• Online infidelity
• Micro-cheating
• Emotional infidelity
• Sexual infidelity

A person may engage in multiple forms of infidelity at once. For instance, some extramarital affairs may involve both emotional and sexual infidelity, in which there are both sexual encounters and emotional connections outside marital relationships. In other cases, extramarital infidelity may consist solely of sexual involvement, where the unfaithful partner engages in extramarital sex with one person or multiple people outside of the marriage without the consent of their spouse. 

Defining emotional infidelity: A betrayal of trust

Emotional infidelity typically involves forming a deep emotional attachment with someone besides one’s romantic partner. This might look like:

• Forming a deep bond or even falling in love with someone else 
• Giving excessive time, energy, and attention to someone else, often at the expense of one’s current partner
• Seeking validation and emotional support from someone else, rather than one’s current partner

Defining sexual infidelity: Sex and other physical acts

Sexual infidelity typically involves engaging in any form of sexual behavior with someone besides one’s romantic partner. This might involve activities such as kissing, sexual touching, phone sex, intercourse, or other sexual or intimate acts.

What are the consequences of emotional betrayal, extramarital sex, and other forms of infidelity?

How can you move forward if your romantic partner has been unfaithful?

Experiencing infidelity can be deeply painful, but there are steps you can take to help you heal and move forward. Tending to your own mental health can be key, and if you decide you want to stay with your partner, tending to the health of the relationship can also be crucial. 

Healing from the effects of infidelity

On an individual level, there are a variety of tools and strategies that may help you recover from the pain of infidelity and move forward. These can include:

• Being patient with yourself and giving yourself space to feel all your emotions
• Journaling to process the events
• Practicing mindfulness and meditation to manage stress 
• Leaning on loved ones for support 
• Spending time on activities and hobbies you enjoy 
• Seeking support in individual therapy

Moving forward with a romantic partner who has been unfaithful

If you decide that you want to work on the relationship after experiencing infidelity, the exact process for moving forward can depend on your unique situation and relationship. For instance, in affairs that involved both sexual and emotional infidelity, moving forward may require restoring trust and rebuilding both emotional and sexual intimacy. In any case, seeking support from a therapist skilled in couples counseling or marital and family therapy can be helpful. 

You can seek help from a couples therapist in person or online, and research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online couples therapy for improving relationship satisfaction and mental health. If you and your partner would like to work through infidelity while taking physical space from one another, online relationship therapy may be a helpful option, as it allows you to join the therapy session from separate locations.