Will A Couples Message Board Make A Difference For You?

Updated March 17, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

If you and your partner are having some trouble in your relationship, you may be wondering what you can do to solve those problems. Maybe you have tried talking and making changes in your lives, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. If you’re looking for a solution that’s outside the box, you might try a couples message board. Whether you and your significant other could benefit from this idea can depend on several factors, but it may be worth giving it a try. In this article, we’ll be exploring what couples message boards are all about and whether they could make a difference in your relationship.

What is a couples message board?

A couples message board is an online forum where you and your partner can talk about your problems and get advice from other couples just like you. It is also a place where you can advise fellow couples who are having problems. With a message board, you can discuss the things you are going through with other people who have been there too. Although you may not be a therapist, and those online may not have a professional background, a couples message board can still be a powerful resource for receiving advice and guidance in your relationship.

It may be helpful to think of a couples message board as a type of online group therapy, but without professional guidance. Although there usually isn’t a mediator as there would be in group therapy, the premise is the same. For example, you may be looking for someone who has successfully gone through a marital problem like infidelity, while others may be looking for someone who has dealt with something like a lack of intimacy or an addiction. When you’re participating in one of these online forums, you can trade tips and ideas for getting through the different hurdles each of you may be facing.

Getty/Sarah Waiswa

Benefits of couples message boards

Ongoing support and advice can be important to people who are having trouble in their personal lives, and a couples message board can provide just that. If you have ever been to a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Overeaters Anonymous, these groups are similar. For some people, talking about their issues face to face can be scary, so being able to do it online can be a major benefit. 

Those who have social anxiety disorder (SAD) or other related conditions may find the thought of going out in public or speaking to a group of people terrifying. Those with SAD may have panic attacks when trying to do so, and for many who have sought help, online therapy has been a lifesaver. This benefit can apply to those with relationship issues who do not want to speak to anyone face-to-face. Even though some people think the idea of a couples message board is too personal, it is often less personal than traditional therapy, wherein you speak to a therapist face to face. Other benefits of couples message boards could include:

  • Convenience: You do not have to make an appointment to use a couples message board, and in fact, you do not even need to leave the house. You and your partner can work through your problems without even having to put your shoes on. Instead of waiting until you have a major problem in your relationship, you and your partner can make participating in these forums a weekly or monthly activity that you do together. This can allow you to stay on top of your problems before they get out of hand—sort of like preventative couples counseling. 
  • Cost: Couples message boards are entirely free. You and your significant other can use the message board all day, every day, if you want to, and never have to pay a penny. However, it is not recommended that you spend all day every day using a message board. Since one of the main reasons that couples argue is over money, being able to do this for free can be a major relationship saver. All relationships have their issues, but if you have an issue with money with your partner, saving money by using a couples message board could be a major benefit.

Is a couples message board right for you?

If you decide that a couples message board could be beneficial to you and your partner, it can be important to then conduct research on which one could be right for you. Some of them can be more personal and explicit than others. Some encourage free speech, including profanity, while others will kick you out if you use any bad language or talk about more personal things like sex. However, sexual relations with your partner may be one of the issues you need to discuss, so ensure you know what to expect and what is expected of you.

There are message boards that have a mediator as well, which is someone who monitors the board to keep things under control. While they are not professional mental health care experts, they may be trained in some form of counseling or therapy. However, there typically aren’t any mental professionals available on most message boards, so know that if you need professional help, you’ll need to look elsewhere.

What a couples message board isn't

Avoid using couples message boards as a solution for all of your problems. While they can be a convenient way to talk about some of the issues you are going through in your relationship and help you and your partner work through them, know that the advice you find won’t always be helpful or work. In some cases, your problems may be big and warrant advice and support from a professional. You and your partner may get some practical and creative ideas from others for your problems, but it can be difficult to put those ideas into action. This is where a therapist or another professional may be more effective.

If you have a serious relationship problem, such as abuse of any kind, you should speak to a professional right away. If you feel like you are in danger, you need to call 911 or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Other types of relationship issues that may be off-limits depend on your relationship with your partner. If you and your significant other feel free to talk about whatever you want to others on a couples message board, it may be right for both of you. However, if your partner is not 100% into this idea, you may need to rethink it and find another solution.

Getty/Halfpoint Images

Online counseling for improving romantic relationships

When it comes to resolving relationship problems, what works for one couple may not be helpful for another. Working with a professional can be one of the most effective ways to discover what methods can support a happier, healthier relationship. You can get connected with a couples therapist through Regain, an online counseling platform. With online counseling, you can speak with a therapist from home or anywhere else you have a Wi-Fi connection. Even if you and your partner have busy schedules because of children or demanding careers, you can still find a time that works for both of you. If you’re using a couples message board, a professional can help you figure out whether the advice you’re getting could be helpful or more damaging in the long run. Whether message boards or some other technique works more effectively to improve your relationship, what matters is that you’re getting the support that you and your significant other need.

The effectiveness of online counseling for relationships

Research has shown that counseling interventions involving both partners in a relationship are superior to individual treatment that involves just one of the individuals. Further, researchers have discovered that online counseling interventions delivered through videoconferencing could be just as effective as face-to-face interventions for the same concerns. In one study, it was found that couples going through a video-delivered couples therapy intervention experienced improved relationship satisfaction and mental health outcomes over time. These results did not differ based on condition.

The takeaway

Relationships take work to sustain and grow. How a couple goes about improving their relationship can vary. While couples message boards can be helpful, they are not a replacement for professional intervention. Some problems can be solved with simple advice, while bigger issues may take more guidance from someone who’s trained to work with couples. If you and your partner are experiencing problems and haven’t found a solution, consider couples therapy with a licensed therapist. A therapist can work with each of you to make changes in your relationship that can create a healthier foundation and lead to greater satisfaction for both of you.

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