Why Should My Partner And I See An Online Psychologist?

Updated April 10, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Are you and your significant other having problems getting along? Does it seem like you spend more time arguing than talking and that every conversation seems to end in an argument? When you are unable to resolve conflict or communicate effectively, you probably find yourself in this continual and unrelenting cycle of arguing. These are all good reasons to reach for the support of couples counseling. However, there are other reasons why you should talk to an online psychologist. For example, if you and your partner are just not as happy as you used to be or you are feeling bored or stuck in a rut, talking to an online psychologist could be extremely helpful for your relationship. In this article, we explore the advantages of seeing an online psychologist that specializes in improving communication with your partner from the comfort of your own home. 

Do you have communication problems?

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Considering couples therapy but too busy to try?

Communication between a couple is the foundation for a long and healthy relationship. When this communication turns sour or ceases to exist, a couple will feel the effects almost immediately. In fact, research has shown that the number one cause of relationship failure is rooted in poor communication. Read on to learn more about this crucial element of a healthy bond with your partner.

Communication is essential

Effective communication is important in letting your partner know how you feel. In a serious relationship, you may think your partner knows how much you love and appreciate them, but assuming your partner knows it is not enough. Have you ever thought that someone did not like you for some reason and then found out later that they really do, but they just assumed you knew? The same may be the case for your partner. Tell them you love and appreciate them. Equally important is telling them you are feeling unhappy or frustrated with the way they are behaving. After all, how can you expect to fix your problems if they do not even know you have any?

How can couples counseling help?

Your psychologist can help both you and your partner see what is going on in your relationship. They can be a "go-between" or a sort of translator to help your partner understand what you are saying. Have you ever tried to explain how you feel or what you mean to your partner many times, and they still do not get it? This may happen to all of us at times, but a psychologist is trained in effective communication techniques and can help you both get on the same page. 

Seeing another person's point of view can be difficult, especially when you are managing your own personal judgements that can keep you from seeing their perspective. A couples therapist can act as an unbiased third person who understands relationship dynamics and how to guide you through communication breakdowns and solutions. There are many types of couples counseling techniques, including the following:

Individual therapy

Sometimes, it is best to be counseled separately, as well as together. For example, if your partner is not completely sure they want to participate, you can talk to the psychologist on your own. Meeting with you individually also gives your counselor the opportunity to talk alone where you may feel more open to share deep-seated feelings. 

Communication analysis

Analyzing how you and your partner communicate is one way to turn things around. With communication analysis, your therapist will walk you through a specific relationship conflict piece by piece, focusing on what was said and the accompanying emotional reactions. This analysis helps you both uncover the feelings that the conflict caused and what message you were trying to convey and how you could have said things differently. 

Imago method

This is a combination of behavioral and spiritual counseling to find unconscious components that helped you choose your partner. In Imago therapy, you will work with your couples counselor who will coach you strategies that resolve misunderstandings and discover new ways to share intimacy. 

Positive psychology

Emphasizing positivity in any relationship is important, and by keeping things on the bright side, you can work things out constructively. Research has shown that couples who thrive tend to celebrate happy moments, focus on building positive outcomes, and are more resilient to negative moments. A positive psychologist can help you find happy moments even when you see nothing but negative issues.

Narrative therapy

With this technique, you will be asked to describe your issues in a narrative form, and then the therapist will help you rewrite the negative parts of your narration. This helps you see that your problems do not define you. A major objective of narrative-focused couples therapy is to help you see an optimistic perspective of you and your partner’s love story. 

Gottman method

This couples' therapy technique is a culmination of over 50 years of research  that reported how negative emotions like jealousy and insecurity have a much larger impact on a relationship than positive emotions. By focusing on building communication and listening skills with your partner, you can rise above these negative interactions. In the Gottman Method, you both will build what is known as “love maps” to learn your partner's history, hopes, joys, stresses, and worries. By seeing the other person's world, you learn to appreciate and respect each other.

What is an online psychologist?

An online psychologist is a licensed mental health care expert who counsels you online. You can communicate with your psychologist through email, text, video counseling, chat, or even telephone calls. 

A typical online therapy platform will offer a room that is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, even on holidays. You can enter the room anytime you want with any electronic device that is connected to the internet. You and your partner can do this together or separately, and your psychologist will answer you as soon as they can. Online psychologists respond as soon as possible, usually within 24 hours. They are available for live therapy sessions as well and tend to have much more availability than an in-person psychologist.

What are the benefits of using an online psychologist?

Online psychology is not only easy, but it is convenient as well. It is difficult to find the time to find a psychologist you like, make an appointment, and get you and your partner's schedules coordinate. Even then you may not be able to get an appointment with a psychologist for weeks or even months. Furthermore, virtual therapy has been shown in several studies to be just as effective as in-person therapy, with the added benefits of increased accessibility for those who live remotely or are unable to travel easily and cost-effectiveness. For example, in a study published in American Journal of Psychiatry, psychiatrist Haim Weinberg found that many of his clients who shifted from in-person to on-line therapy felt more comfortable opening up online because of the protective barrier of the screen and the comfort up being in their own space. 

With online couples counseling, you do not need an appointment, you do not have to adjust your schedules, and in fact, you do not even have to leave the house. You and your significant other do not even have to be in the same place. As long as you both have an electronic device that is connected to the internet, you can both talk to the psychologist whenever you want to.

Talking in real-time

With video counseling, you and your partner can talk to your psychologist in real-time at an agreed time that is convenient for all parties. With an online psychologist, online appointments typically do not have to be set up days or months in advance. You may even be able to contact your psychologist and plan an online meeting for the same day. For a relationship in the heat of conflict, the prompt resolution with the support of a license couples counselor can serve your relationship well.  

For those hesitant for professional guidance

Some people may not be sure about talking to a psychologist and feel uncomfortable with the idea of therapy or are skeptical of the efficacy of psychological interventions. For many, talking about your personal problems with a stranger is frightening and may even be impossible, especially in a face-to-face situation. With online counseling, you can text or email your concerns, and when you are ready, can meet face-to-face (albeit in the virtual world). By communicating in writing, many people can be more open and honest because they are more comfortable. This is especially true for those with anxiety or those who just do not like talking to strangers about personal problems.

Considering couples therapy but too busy to try?

Choosing online couples therapy

Another benefit in online couples counseling is that it is much more affordable than traditional face to face counseling. The cost of online counseling with Regain ranges from $65 to $90 per week (billed every 4 weeks), which includes video chat, phone, chat, instant messaging, email, and texting - comparing that to traditional therapy with a psychologist, which typically costs anywhere from $250 and $500 per hour. 

If you are unable to afford or find a couples counselor in your area, you have other options, including virtual teletherapy or online therapy. This form of therapy is a convenient option supported by research to be just as effective as in-person therapy. For example, a study published Frontiers in Psychology that looked at the effectiveness of videoconferencing therapy for married couples. The study’s authors demonstrated that online therapy is indeed efficacious in developing a bond between therapist and client while also showing a high level of client satisfaction and positive therapy outcomes. In conclusion, the study authors reported the therapy was just as effective as in-person therapy for decreasing stress and anxiety between the couples along with increased levels of happiness and less depressive symptoms.

Regain is an online counseling platform that connects you with a licensed marriage and family therapist, licensed clinical social worker, clinical psychologist, or licensed professional counselor who will be able to help you and your spouse when it is convenient for you. You and your partner can participate in couples therapy remotely, via phone/video call, text, or chat.


Conflict is natural in a relationship, especially when you or your partner are experiencing the stress that unexpected life events bring. However, when you notice that you are fighting every day or for reasons that seem immature and unfounded, reaching for the help of a couples counselor may be what helps save your relationship. Love is complicated, but necessary in this complicated world. Do not hesitate to find an online counselor to help support you and your partner grow a bond that endures. 

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