Why Being A Confident Woman Helps You In Relationships
By: Stephanie Kirby
Updated April 21, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers
Confidence plays a big role in the success that you're able to have in life. This is an idea that many people are familiar with. But many people don't realize that the level of confidence you have also impacted your relationships in life. Being more confident can help you improve your relationships in every area.
Signs That You Struggle With Self-Confidence
If you aren't sure if you struggle with self-confidence or not, here are some signs to look for in your life:
You Constantly Look To Others For Reassurance
It's not uncommon for women with low self-confidence to become people pleasers. If you have low self-confidence, this could be you. Because you struggle to feel good about yourself, you're constantly looking for others to build you up.
You start to lose your ability to feel confident in making your own decisions. You doubt your own instincts and feel unsure if your opinions are correct. So, you constantly look to other people to reaffirm what you're saying.
You Care Too Much About Others' Opinion Of You
Not only will you look to others to reassure you of the decisions you're making, but you'll also look to them to make you feel good about yourself. Your opinion of yourself will depend on what other people think of you. Instead of feeling good about something that you have done or accomplished, you feel that you need to see that other people think it was good. This can cause you to constantly change how you act and what you do to blend in with the people that you're with.
You Are Easily Offended
If you are not confident in who you are, it makes it very easy to be offended. You are constantly trying to read things into what other people think about you, making constructive criticism very hard to handle. People might be trying to give you feedback to help you improve in an area, but you take it to heart and think that it means you're not good enough or failing.
You Compare Yourself With Others
If you aren't confident in who you are, you likely spend time comparing yourself with others. You're always trying to see how you stack up against them. When you are around people you think are better than you, you feel insecure about yourself. This can be on social media or in person.
How Confidence Helps You In A Relationship
Not only does having confidence help you in feeling better about yourself, but it also helps you in the relationships you have in your life.
In Family Relationships
Confidence makes you comfortable being yourself. There can be pressure to be a certain way in family relationships or live up to a certain standard in family relationships. Even in close-knit and loving families, there can be almost an unspoken pressure to be perfect for blending in with the rest of the family. When you are confident in yourself, you can overcome that pressure and be comfortable being yourself, even if it's not the same as how the rest of your family is.
In Work Relationships
Often, in a work environment, it's the confident person who can move forward, get promotions, and close the deals. If you lack self-confidence and are too timid to put yourself out there, you're going to miss out on many opportunities that you could experience in your career. You will constantly second-guess yourself and feel like there's someone else who is better qualified than you.
Learning how to boost your self-confidence can help you as you interact in your work relationships. It will allow you to take credit, appreciate compliments you are given and do your best work. When you're not so worried about the judgment of others, it allows you to really step into your own and try new things.
If you are not confident, it's easy for friends to take advantage of you. Even good people who don't mean anything against you can end up taking advantage of you because you constantly give in to what they want.
Lacking confidence in friendships makes it easy for you to become a doormat. You might be indecisive when making simple decisions such as how you spend your time with friends, and it may make it difficult for you to say "no" when your friends are asking you to help with things. While it's good to help friends, you can also find yourself overcommitted and burn out.
Being confident also helps you to find friends who like you for you. You don't have to worry about acting a certain way to impress them, and you can just be yourself.
In Romantic Relationships
Healthy romantic relationships need confidence. Much like in a friendship, if you lack confidence as you are in a romantic relationship, you're likely to adjust your personality and actions to what you think the other person wants you to be like. This can cause you to compromise on your values.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, and people can't really trust you if they don't know who you are. And, it's hard for you to truly trust others if you don't think that they like you for the person you are.
When you lack self-confidence, and you put on a false front with a romantic partner, it can continue to eat away at your self-esteem. You feel that you have to maintain a certain look, or attitude, or behavior that might not feel natural to you. But, because you're not confident in who you are, you think they only like you for the activity you're putting on. This is not what relationships should be based on.
How To Become More Confident
The good news is that any woman can become more confident. Confidence is not something that some people are just born with, and other people will never have; it is a skill that can grow. While it might come more naturally to some women, it's never out of your reach. Below are some ways that you can learn how to grow your confidence and improve your relationships:
Recognize Your Strengths
Every person has strengths in different areas. There are some things that you are more naturally skilled at than other people. It's important to learn how to recognize what your strengths are. If you only focus on your weaknesses, it can lead you to think that you have nothing to offer, which robs you of your confidence. Or, if you always wish that you had the same strength as someone else, and it's not something that comes naturally to you, it can lead you to feel bad about yourself.
Spend some time getting to know yourself. Discover what your strengths are and your greatest abilities. And then be confident in the skills that you have in those areas.
Make Peace With Your Weaknesses
It's also important to acknowledge your weaknesses but not let them control you. But people who lack confidence often focus on their weaknesses. It's not that people with confidence don't know that they have weaknesses in their lives; they don't spend their time focusing on them. They don't allow their weakness to control their life.
So, if you want to build your confidence as a woman, figure out what your weaknesses are and make peace with them. Realize that everyone has areas that they are weak in, and that's okay. Your weaknesses don't need to be the thing that you focus on or to drive your life.
Celebrate Your Success
Learning how to celebrate your successes is important in building confidence. The better you become at recognizing the success that you have in your daily life, the more you will see that your confidence begins to grow. Some people find it helpful to journal at the end of each day and record their successes that day. The more you work on finding success in your life, the easier it will become.
Fake It 'Til You Make It
Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. You may not feel confident going into a situation or dealing with certain people in your life, but your feelings may eventually catch up with you if you act confident. Put a smile on your face, hold your head up tall, and do your best to act like you have confidence.
Change Your Self-Talk
Your thoughts help control what your feelings are and what actions you take in life. If you have poor self-talk, it's going to be very difficult for you to build confidence. So, if you want to become a more confident person, you have to change your self-talk. Do not spend time knocking yourself down or focusing on the things that you're bad at. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to one of your best friends.
Bring In A Therapist
A lack of confidence can come from a lot of different things. It could be from abuse that you experienced as a child, unhealthy relationships that you're in right now, or any number of other situations. If you are struggling with building confidence in your life, a therapist can help you figure out the best way to move forward. In some situations, it might be helpful to explore your past to see where your struggle is coming from. In other forms of therapy like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, therapists work to help you identify negative thinking patterns and change them.
Having confidence plays an important role in every relationship that you have in life. If you're struggling to build confidence, reach out to a therapist at ReGain today to learn what your next steps are.
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