What Does It Mean To Be In An Exclusive Relationship?

An exclusive relationship typically means you and your partner are not dating other people. Deciding to be in an exclusive relationship often involves having a conversation where each partner agrees that they are on the same page about what their relationship status means to them. Every relationship is unique, so you and your partner can establish boundaries or guidelines to define the exact meaning of being exclusive to you both. In this article, we’ll explore more about what it can mean to be in an exclusive relationship and some of its common components.

Are we dating or in a relationship: Where do we stand?

When you’ve been dating for a while, you may have questions about where things are going. You like spending time with this person, and your feelings for them continue to grow. The time you’ve spent together has been great, and you want to keep it going, but now you want to see only them. You’re not interested in dating others, and you’d like the same commitment in return. Sometimes it can be a challenge to bring this up with the person you’re dating: you don’t want to pressure them, but you feel like you’re in limbo until you come to an agreement. 

It is common for people to want to define their relationship at a certain point, and talking about your current status can give you clarity on where you stand. But how do you know you’re ready to talk? There is no set timeline for bringing up this conversation, so it can depend on you, the other person, and the dynamics between you. For some, it may make sense to have this conversation after a few dates, and for others, it may make sense to wait a bit longer. It can vary widely from one situation to the next. 

As you think about how you want to start the conversation, you can think about starting with a question. You could ask something like, “How are you feeling about us?” or “What are you looking for these days?” Try to practice active listening and be open to their thoughts, and then express your own. You two may find that you are already on the same page or that you are looking for different things. Either way, having an open conversation about it can help clear up any confusion and ensure you are both comfortable with how to move forward. 

Common components of an exclusive relationship

Maybe you’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months but haven’t talked about your relationship or defined it as exclusive. In situations like this, people’s actions can vary, and it can be helpful to know what to look for that may indicate that things could be headed toward being exclusive. Here are some common components of an exclusive relationship to consider:

You’ve met their family and friends

You have met people considered close to your partner and vice versa, maybe some of their close friends or even family members. You may have met their co-worker or attended an event or outing with other people around. The person you’re with is proud to introduce you to others, and you feel the same.

You’re included in plans

The person you’re with may say “we” when talking about things they want to do in the future. Making plans, taking a vacation, or booking tickets in advance may hint that they are thinking you’ll be a part of their future. 

You no longer need to maintain an online dating profile

When you’ve found someone you want to be exclusive with, you likely look forward to seeing more of the person you’ve been dating and don’t feel you need to check dating apps for messages or review profiles of others. 

You told each other, “I love you.”

If you’ve been together for a while and see each other often, it may not be a surprise when someone says, “I love you.” Maybe you’ve spent nights curled on the couch together, and you felt comfortable when they show intimacy. If your partner has told you they love you, this is often a common component of an exclusive relationship rather than casual dating.

You talk about a future together

When someone is in an exclusive relationship, they may see you as someone they want to make long-term plans with, such as living together or marriage. They may let you know in a subtle way that they don’t see things being temporary. The level of commitment can be another common piece of a serious, exclusive relationship. 

You and your partner show affection around others.

Showing affection such as holding hands around others, especially people close to you, such as family and friends, can be a strong sign that you are both comfortable with others knowing you are together, and may be off the market. 

You look after them when they are sick or vice versa

When your partner is under the weather, you choose to bring flowers, soup, or medicine. You are eager to do whatever you can to help them be comfortable so they can feel better. When you’re not feeling well, they do the same. This can be a positive sign of something more serious. 

You’re trusted with something personal

Whether you’re trusted with personal belongings or personal thoughts and feelings, it can indicate that the person you are with thinks highly of you. For example, some exchange keys to their homes, or some may share deeply personal, vulnerable stories. These can be signs that your relationship is fairly serious. 

What to do when you’re unsure

It is common for someone to wonder about how to define their relationship and the significance of being exclusive. While talking with the person you’re seeing about your thoughts can be a key piece in this process, you don’t have to figure out how to navigate this alone. If you’d like support with these and other relationship concerns, a licensed therapist can help. 

As you’re trying to navigate these potentially confusing situations of dating someone and determining the dynamics of your relationship, it may be helpful to be able to reach out for help in those precise moments when challenges or confusion come up. With online therapy through Regain, you can reach out to your therapist at any time using in-app messaging, and they will respond as soon as they can. 

Plus, a growing body of research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for a range of concerns, including relationship satisfaction. 

Takeaway

An exclusive relationship typically means that you and this person are only focused on dating each other, and you will not be seeing anyone else outside of the relationship. There is no set timeline for when it might make sense to decide to be exclusive, as every relationship is different, but some common components of an exclusive relationship are detailed above. If you would like support as you navigate the process of dating someone new, you can connect with a licensed therapist online for help.